The Skeptics Annotated Bible (235 page)

35 Neither shewed they kindness to the house of Jerubbaal, namely, Gideon, according to all the goodness which he had shewed unto Israel.

9
And Abimelech the son of Jerubbaal went to Shechem unto his mother’s brethren, and communed with them, and with all the family of the house of his mother’s father, saying,

2 Speak, I pray you, in the ears of all the men of Shechem, Whether is better for you, either that all the sons of Jerubbaal, which are threescore and ten persons, reign over you, or that one reign over you? remember also that I am your bone and your flesh.

3 And his mother’s brethren spake of him in the ears of all the men of Shechem all these words: and their hearts inclined to follow Abimelech; for they said, He is our brother.

4 And they gave him threescore and ten pieces of silver out of the house of Baal-berith, wherewith
Abimelech
hired vain and light persons, which followed him.

(9.4-6) After Gideon died, it was time for one of his 70 (or 72?) sons to take over. Which was a problem since only one son could succeed him. Abimelech came up with a creative solution: he killed 70(?) brothers upon one stone. (He was trying to get in the Guinness Book of World Records.)

But Abimelech’s youngest brother got away. So the two remaining sons, Abimelech and Jotham, schemed against each other, striving for control, with Abimelech winning out, becoming king.

5 And he went unto his father’s house at Ophrah, and
slew his brethren
the sons of Jerubbaal, being
threescore and ten persons, upon one stone
: notwithstanding
yet Jotham the youngest son of Jerubbaal was left; for he hid himself.

(9.4-5a)
“Abimelech … slew his brethren … threescore and ten persons, upon one stone.”

(9.5b)
“Yet Jotham the youngest son of Jerubbaal was left; for he hid himself.”

6 And all
the men of Shechem gathered together
, and all the house of Millo, and went,
and made Abimelech king
, by the plain of the pillar that was in Shechem.

(9.6)
“All the men of Shechem gathered together … and made Abimelech king.”

7 And when they told it to Jotham, he went and stood in the top of mount Gerizim, and lifted up his voice, and cried, and said unto them, Hearken unto me, ye men of Shechem, that God may hearken unto you.

(9.8-15) And now for something completely different: Talking Trees

After the men of Shechem made Abimelech their king, Jotham delivered a speech to them about talking trees.

8
The trees went forth on a time to anoint a king over them; and they said unto the olive tree, Reign thou over us.

(9.8)
“The trees went forth on a time to anoint a king over them; and they said unto the olive tree, Reign thou over us.”

9
But the olive tree said unto them, Should I leave my fatness
, wherewith by me they honour God and man, and go to be promoted over the trees?

(9.9)
“But the olive tree said unto them, Should I leave my fatness…?”

10
And the trees said to the fig tree, Come thou, and reign over us.

(9.10) “And the trees said to the fig tree, Come thou, and reign over us.”

11
But the fig tree said unto them, Should I forsake my sweetness
, and my good fruit, and go to be promoted over the trees?

(9.11)
“But the fig tree said unto them, Should I forsake my sweetness…?”

12
Then said the trees unto the vine, Come thou, and reign over us.

(9.12) “Then said the trees unto the vine, Come thou, and reign over us.”

13
And the vine said unto them, Should I leave my wine, which cheereth God and man
, and go to be promoted over the trees?

(9.13)
“And the vine said unto them, Should I leave my wine, which cheereth God and man…?”
71 Is it OK to drink alcohol?

14
Then said all the trees unto the bramble, Come thou, and reign over us.

(9.14)
“Then said all the trees unto the bramble, Come thou, and reign over us.”

15
And the bramble said unto the trees
, If in truth ye anoint me king over you, then come and put your trust in my shadow: and if not, let fire come out of the bramble, and devour the cedars of Lebanon.

(9.15)
“And the bramble said unto the trees….”

(9.16-20)
The curse of Jotham
When he finished talking about talking trees, Jotham cursed the men of Shechem, saying “let fire … devour” them.

16 Now therefore,
if ye have done truly and sincerely, in that ye have made Abimelech king, and if ye have dealt well with Jerubbaa
l and his house, and have done unto him according to the deserving of his hands;

(9.16)
“If ye
[the men of Shechem]
have done truly and sincerely, in that ye have made Abimelech king, and if ye have dealt well with Jerubbaal
[Gideon]
,”

17 (For my father fought for you, and adventured his life far, and delivered you out of the hand of Midian:

18 And
ye are risen up against my father’s house this day, and have slain his sons, threescore and ten persons, upon one stone, and have made Abimelech, the son of his maidservant, king
over the men of Shechem, because he is your brother;)

(9.18)
“Ye are risen up against my father’s house this day, and have slain his sons, threescore and ten persons, upon one stone, and have made Abimelech, the son of his maidservant, king.”

19
If ye then have dealt truly and sincerely with Jerubbaal and with his house this day, then rejoice ye in Abimelech, and let him also rejoice in you
:

(9.19)
“If ye then have dealt truly and sincerely with Jerubbaal and with his house this day, then rejoice ye in Abimelech, and let him also rejoice in you:”

20
But if not, let fire come out from Abimelech, and devour the men of Shechem
, and the house of Millo; and let fire come out from the men of Shechem, and from the house of Millo,
and devour Abimelech
.

(9.20)
“But if not, let fire come out from Abimelech, and devour the men of Shechem … and devour Abimelech.”
(See 9.57)

21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.

22 When Abimelech had reigned three years over Israel,

(9.23-24)
God’s evil spirit
God sent an evil spirit that cause people to deal treacherously with each other to punish Abimelech for killing his 70 (?) brothers and the men of Shechem for helping him kill his brothers.