The Skeptics Annotated Bible (305 page)

48
It is God that avengeth me, and that bringeth down the people under me,

49
And that bringeth me forth from mine enemies: thou also hast lifted me up on high above them that rose up against me
: thou hast delivered me from the violent man.

(22.48-49)
“It is God that avengeth me, and that bringeth down the people under me. And that bringeth me forth from mine enemies: thou also hast lifted me up on high above them that rose up against me.”

50 Therefore I will give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and I will sing praises unto thy name.

51 He is the tower of salvation for his king: and sheweth mercy to his anointed, unto David, and to his seed for evermore.

23
Now these be the last words of David. David the son of Jesse said, and the man who was raised up on high, the anointed of the God of Jacob, and the sweet psalmist of Israel, said,

2 The Spirit of the LORD spake by me, and his word was in my tongue.

3 The God of Israel said, the Rock of Israel spake to me, He that ruleth over men must be just, ruling in the fear of God.

4 And he shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun riseth, even a morning without clouds; as the tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shining after rain.

5 Although my house be not so with God; yet he hath made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things, and sure: for this is all my salvation, and all my desire, although he make it not to grow.

6 But the sons of Belial shall be all of them as thorns thrust away, because they cannot be taken with hands:

7 But the man that shall touch them must be fenced with iron and the staff of a spear; and they shall be utterly burned with fire in the same place.

(23.8-21) David’s Mighty Men and their Amazing Killings God’s 84th killing

8 These be the names of the mighty men whom David had: The Tachmonite that sat in the seat,
chief among the captains
; the same was
Adino the Eznite: he lift up his spear against eight hundred, whom he slew at one time.

(23.8)
“Chief among the captains … Adino the Eznite: he lift up his spear against eight hundred, whom he slew at one time.”
211 How many men did the chief of David’s captains kill?

9 And after him was
Eleazar the son of Dodo
the Ahohite, one of the three mighty men with David, when they defied the Philistines that were there gathered together to battle, and the men of Israel were gone away:

10 He arose, and
smote the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand clave unto the sword: and the LORD wrought a great victory that day
; and the people returned after him only to spoil.

(23.9-10)
“Eleazar the son of Dodo … smote the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand clave unto the sword: and the LORD wrought a great victory that day.”

11 And after him was
Shammah the son of Agee
the Hararite. And the Philistines were gathered together into a troop, where was a piece of ground full of lentiles: and the people fled from the Philistines.

12 But he stood in the midst of the ground, and defended it, and
slew the Philistines: and the LORD wrought a great victory.

(23.11-12) “Shammah the son of Agee … slew the Philistines: and the LORD wrought a great victory.”

13 And three of the thirty chief went down, and came to David in the harvest time unto the cave of Adullam: and the troop of the Philistines pitched in the valley of Rephaim.

14 And David was then in an hold, and the garrison of the Philistines was then in Beth-lehem.

15 And
David
longed, and said, Oh that one would give me drink of the water of the well of Beth-lehem, which is by the gate!

16 And the three mighty men brake through the host of the Philistines, and drew water out of the well of Beth-lehem, that was by the gate, and took it, and brought it to David: nevertheless he
would not drink thereof, but poured it out unto the LORD.

(23.15-16)
“David … would not drink thereof, but poured it out unto the LORD.”
David was thirsty, so he asked someone to get him some water from the Bethlehem well, which was controlled by the Philistines. Three of his men broke through the enemy lines, got the water from the well, and brought it back to David. But he refused to drink it and poured it on the ground.

17 And he said, Be it far from me, O LORD, that I should do this: is not this the blood of the men that went in jeopardy of their lives? therefore he would not drink it. These things did these three mighty men.

18 And
Abishai
, the brother of Joab, the son of Zeruiah, was chief among three. And he
lifted up his spear against three hundred, and slew them,
and had the name among three.

(23.18) “Abishai … lifted up his spear against three hundred, and slew them.”

19 Was he not most honourable of three? therefore he was their captain: howbeit he attained not unto the first three.

20 And
Benaiah
the son of Jehoiada, the son of a valiant man, of Kabzeel, who had done many acts, he
slew two lionlike men of Moab: he went down also and slew a lion in the midst of a pit in time of snow:

21
And he slew an Egyptian, a goodly man: and the Egyptian had a spear in his hand
; but he went down to him with a staff, and plucked the spear out of the Egyptian’s hand, and slew him with his own spear.

(23.20-21) “Benaiah … slew two lionlike men of Moab: he went down also and slew a lion in the midst of a pit in time of snow. And he slew an Egyptian, a goodly man: and the Egyptian had a spear in his hand.”

22 These things did Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and had the name among three mighty men.

23 He was more honourable than the thirty, but he attained not to the first three. And David set him over his guard.

24 Asahel the brother of Joab was one of the thirty; Elhanan the son of Dodo of Beth-lehem,

25 Shammah the Harodite, Elika the Harodite,

26 Helez the Paltite, Ira the son of Ikkesh the Tekoite,

27 Abiezer the Anethothite, Mebunnai the Hushathite,

28 Zalmon the Ahohite, Maharai the Netophathite,

29 Heleb the son of Baanah, a Netophathite, Ittai the son of Ribai out of Gibeah of the children of Benjamin,

30 Benaiah the Pirathonite, Hiddai of the brooks of Gaash,

31 Abi-albon the Arbathite, Azmaveth the Barhumite,

32 Eliahba the Shaalbonite, of the sons of Jashen, Jonathan,

33 Shammah the Hararite, Ahiam the son of Sharar the Hararite,

34 Eliphelet the son of Ahasbai, the son of the Maachathite, Eliam the son of Ahithophel the Gilonite,

35 Hezrai the Carmelite, Paarai the Arbite,

36 Igal the son of Nathan of Zobah, Bani the Gadite,

37 Zelek the Ammonite, Naharai the Beerothite, armourbearer to Joab the son of Zeruiah,

38 Ira an Ithrite, Gareb an Ithrite,

39 Uriah the Hittite:
thirty and seven in all.

(23.39) “Thirty and seven in all.” How come only 31 are listed in verses 24-39?

24
And again
the anger of the LORD was kindled against Israel, and he moved David against them to say, Go, number Israel and Judah.

(24.1)
“The anger of the LORD was kindled against Israel, and he moved David against them to say, Go, number Israel and Judah.
” God tempts David to take census, though 1 Chr 21.1 says that Satan tempted David, and James 1.13 says that God never tempts anyone. Why did God and/or Satan tempt David to take the census? And what the heck is wrong with a census anyway?
212 Who tempted David?
65 Has God ever tempted anyone?
213 Is it OK to take a census?