The Skeptics Annotated Bible (694 page)

9
I saw the Lord standing upon the altar: and he said
, Smite the lintel of the door, that the posts may shake: and
cut them in the head, all of them; and I will slay the last of them with the sword: he that fleeth of them shall not flee away, and he that escapeth of them shall not be delivered.

(9.1) “I saw the LORD standing upon the altar: and he said … cut them in the head, all of them; and I will slay the last of them with the sword: he that fleeth of them shall not flee away, and he that escapeth of them shall not be delivered.”
49 Can God be seen?

2
Though they dig into hell, thence shall mine hand take them; though they climb up to heaven, thence will I bring them down
:

(9.2)
“Though they dig into hell, thence shall mine hand take them; though they climb up to heaven, thence will I bring them down.”

3 And
though they hide themselves in the top of Carmel, I will search and take them out thence; and though they be hid from my sight in the bottom of the sea, thence will I command the serpent, and he shall bite them:

(9.3)
“Though they hide themselves in the top of Carmel, I will search and take them out thence; and though they be hid from my sight in the bottom of the sea, thence will I command the serpent, and he shall bite them.”

4
And though they go into captivity before their enemies, thence will I command the sword, and it shall slay them: and I will set mine eyes upon them for evil, and not for good.

(9.4)
“And though they go into captivity before their enemies, thence will I command the sword, and it shall slay them: and I will set mine eyes upon them for evil, and not for good.”

5 And the Lord
GOD
of hosts is he that
toucheth the land, and it shall melt, and all that dwell therein shall mourn: and it shall rise up wholly like a flood; and shall be drowned, as by the flood of Egypt.

(9.5)
“GOD … toucheth the land, and it shall melt, and all that dwell therein shall mourn: and it shall rise up wholly like a flood; and shall be drowned, as by the flood of Egypt.”

6 It is he that buildeth his stories in the heaven, and hath founded his troop in the earth; he that calleth for the waters of the sea, and poureth them out upon the face of the earth: The LORD is his name.

7 Are ye not as children of the Ethiopians unto me, O children of Israel? saith the LORD. Have not I brought up Israel out of the land of Egypt? and the Philistines from Caphtor, and the Syrians from Kir?

(9.8-10) God will destroy the “the sinful kingdom” and “all the sinners” among his people.

8 Behold,
the eyes of the Lord GOD are upon the sinful kingdom, and I will destroy it from off the face of the earth; saving that I will not utterly destroy the house of Jacob, saith the LORD.

(9.8)
“The eyes of the Lord GOD are upon the sinful kingdom, and I will destroy it from off the face of the earth; saving that I will not utterly destroy the house of Jacob, saith the LORD.”

9 For, lo, I will command, and I will sift the house of Israel among all nations, like as corn is sifted in a sieve, yet shall not the least grain fall upon the earth.

10 All
the sinners of my people shall die by the sword
, which say, The evil shall not overtake nor prevent us.

(9.10) “All the sinners of my people shall die by the sword.”

11 In that day will I raise up the tabernacle of David that is fallen, and close up the breaches thereof; and I will raise up his ruins, and I will build it as in the days of old:

12 That they may possess the remnant of Edom, and of all the heathen, which are called by my name, saith the LORD that doeth this.

13 Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that the plowman shall overtake the reaper, and the treader of grapes him that soweth seed; and the mountains shall drop sweet wine, and all the hills shall melt.

14 And I will bring again the captivity of my people of Israel, and they shall build the waste cities, and inhabit them; and they shall plant vineyards, and drink the wine thereof; they shall also make gardens, and eat the fruit of them.

15 And I will plant them upon their land, and
they shall no more be pulled up out of their land which I have given them
, saith the LORD thy God.

(9.15) “They shall no more be pulled up out of their land which I have given them.” Despite this promise, the Jews have been continually uprooted and their lives disrupted. Even today, their land is far from secure.

We have heard a rumour from the Lord.
—
Obadiah 1

It’s amazing how much bad stuff can be packed into the Bible. There are only 21 verses in Obadiah, for example, but somehow it manages to include:

• The Israelites hear “a rumor from the Lord” telling them to start a war with the Edomites.
  1
  ,
  8
  
• God tells Israelites to “destroy the wise men out of Edom” and to slaughter “everyone of the mount of Esau.”
  8-9
  
• “The day of the Lord is near.” If so, it must have come and past, unnoticed, long before the birth of Jesus.
  15
  
• God will burn all the heathen to death, “for the LORD hath spoken it.”
  16-18
  

1
The vision of Obadiah. Thus saith the Lord GOD concerning Edom; We have heard a rumour from the LORD, and an ambassador is sent among the heathen, Arise ye, and let us rise up against her in battle.

(1)
“Thus saith the Lord GOD concerning Edom; We have heard a rumour from the LORD … Arise ye, and let us rise up against her in battle.”
The Israelites hear “a rumor from the Lord” telling them to start a war with the Edomites.
153 How should the Edomites be treated?