The Space Beyond (The Book of Phoenix) (31 page)

“I felt her arrive before you even splashed into the pond. I didn’t know if you’d make it here.”

“Where is here?” I asked, panting. Every step felt like a huge effort, and I didn’t think it was because of the different atmosphere. The heaviness came from within.

“We call it Erde. According to that bitch Enyxa, it’s a Darker version of Earth. Practically its duplicate, except she’s already claimed the souls here. I guess she hasn’t accomplished that on Earth yet? She says this is a lower world.”

I paused mid-stride. “Everyone here is Dark?”

He looked over his shoulder. “No, not everyone. But a good majority, and the rest are headed that way. Come on. We need to hurry before we get caught.”

“Is there a Gate close by?” Brock asked. “We only came to bring you Rebethannah, but we need to return to our own mates.”

“The only gates are into the cities, and you do
not
want to go there.”

Brock’s eyes cut over to me. “I mean a Gate to go Beyond, to the other worlds.”

Hayden stopped and turned toward us, his light eyes piercing us. “I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about, but if you have a way off this world, we’re going with you. So first, we need to help her.”

We had no Book and no idea if a Gate existed anywhere nearby or where to begin searching, so Brock and I had no choice but to follow Hayden. We didn’t go far before traveling up the side of a hill, but each step made my feet feel pounds heavier than the last. Finally, he led us into a cave, through a tunneled passageway, and into a room where burning coals from a dying fire provided the only light. A large backpack like hikers used and another sack sat on the ground next to it. Otherwise, the cavern was bare.

“I don’t have a home,” Hayden said as he knelt beside the bags. Still holding Bex in one arm with her legs draped across his lap, he pulled a blanket out of one of the bags and tossed it our way. “This is the best I have to offer for the night. Make yourselves comfortable.”

Brock and I both collapsed to the floor, neither of us able to remain upright. I lay on my side and pulled my knees to my chest, curling into a ball, as though I could protect or somehow fill the hole in my soul. Brock tossed the blanket over me before he took the fetal position, too. We’d never be comfortable again until we were with our other halves.

Chapter 30

The Darkness pulled me further, and I tried to follow it, wanting nothing more than the eternal numbness it promised. But only my soul could go, not my body, and they remained stubbornly attached to each other. Every time my soul tried to free itself and drift away, something physical would jerk it back. The feeling of acid burning into my flesh brought me back one time, and then, a blinding light pushed away the Darkness. A hard jolt followed and wracked enough pain through my body that it finally felt ready to let go. Or I felt ready to let go of it. The Darkness gathered again, and I welcomed it. Would have offered it some sweet tea and biscuits if I had any, as long as it gave me the numbness I sought, not just in my body, but in my soul.

As I was about to drift off and I thought my body and soul were finally ready to say their goodbyes to each other, a new sensation surrounded me—the soul part of me. Something I never felt before. A Light chased the Darkness away, which annoyed me for a moment, but with it came a pleasurable warmth that settled into me, filling all the tiny spaces of my soul that I hadn’t known had been empty until now. A new energy swirled through me, mixing within my soul, becoming a part of me. The feeling was so perfectly sensual, I forgot about the Darkness.

“Rebethannah.” I felt the word more than heard it, and my soul responded, acknowledging the name as mine. Rebethannah. That was my true name, my soul’s name. But I’d also been known as Ra’den, when I was One with …

“Nathayden?” I whispered, and a deep pleasure blasted throughout my soul, filling me with a joy I hadn’t felt since … since we were One.

“We’re together, my love. Together again.”

My soul wept with sobs of happiness. True happiness. True love. And I knew it was true this time because I’d experienced it before. Many times. Images flashed through my mind of past lives with Nathayden and when we were together as Ra’den. Short glimpses of memories that were fleeting but confirmed what I felt throughout every fiber of my soul.

“I’ve been waiting for you for what feels like forever,” Nathayden’s soul said into mine. “Lifetimes of heartache and despair, but I never lost hope. I believed we would find each other again. Our love, our connection, is too strong to be overcome by space and time and even evil. Our love prevails, Rebethannah. Always believe that.”

“I do believe. I’d forgotten … I don’t know why … but I remember now. I know who you are to me and who I am to you.”

“Twin Flames. Two halves made whole again.”

His words sparked another memory, a recent one. “
When I hold you once more, you will know where you belong and never question it again. Together, our souls as one, is how we’re meant to be.
That was you who said it, wasn’t it?”

“That was me,” he confirmed.

Our souls knitted more tightly together, and we paused in the moment, taking each other in, taking our love in, fortifying ourselves after being apart for so long. The memories of evil herself, Enyxa, destroying our soul came clearer than any others.

We’d been on a world with a sky the color of the natural springs back home, a beautiful greenish blue, and with hot pink trees across the land. Was that why it’d been my favorite color? I loved those trees, I remembered now. Their pink leaves smelled sweeter than any flower on Earth. We’d sit on the highest limbs and keep our watch from there. That’s where Enyxa had found us.

After her icy Darkness reached into our physical body, tore our soul out and ripped it in two, she tried to leave me like a piece of trash as she carried Nathayden away. I followed her, needing my Twin Flame. She picked my soul up and heaved it through the portal she’d come in, laughing maniacally, sending me past the Space Between and directly to Earth. I hadn’t remembered a bit of this until now.

“She personally brought me here,” Nathayden said. “She somehow made it so our souls could only return to the same world we’d left every time we died—so you always went to Earth and I came here, ensuring we’d never find each other. She’s been waiting for us to come to her side.”

“I almost did just now,” I admitted.

I felt him try to bring us together even closer, like a soul hug. “I almost did many times. But then I’d only remind myself that I couldn’t, for your sake. If I went Dark, so would you, and I could never allow that to happen. I couldn’t allow for your soul to be forever extinguished. I couldn’t imagine the universe without your light.”

His feelings soaked into me, and I felt every word he said, including the deepness of their meaning that couldn’t be expressed verbally.

After a long while of simply existing as a single unit again, I became more focused on what was around us than what was within us. We were in a dark room, hovering near the top of it, which I only realized when I saw bodies on the floor below us. And one of them was mine. I lay on my back, my head turned toward a man who lay on his side as close to me as possible without touching me. Except his hand, which held mine.

“Whoa,” I breathed. “Where are we? What’s going on?”

“
We
, the soul parts, are projected from our bodies. I sort of figured it out not too long ago, but it’s never been like this. When Broderick and Jacquelena said our souls needed to Bond, I gave it a try and found yours already out.” He didn’t say what we both knew—that I’d been trying to leave. He didn’t need to. Now that I found him and understood what had been wrong with me all this time, I had no reason to leave again.

As I studied Nathayden’s face, I recognized it as one of the pictures that had been drawn in Leni’s book. I didn’t know how that could be, but there he was in the flesh. His physical self had never been what I loved—it changed life to life. It had always been his soul.
Our
soul. But, oh, my, goodness. How did I get so damn lucky? Nathayden was flippin’ hot! The beautiful man of my dreams.

“You’re pretty damn hot yourself,” he whispered. If I’d had flesh and blood, I’d be flaming red right now. I’d forgotten for a moment that he could feel everything I felt and sense my thoughts. “You’ve always been beautiful to me.”

But not right now. Not with my beaten body.

“Yes, now more than ever.”

I pulled us downward to hover closer, taking in the damage, and cringed. My soul broke into fresh sobs.

“I’m so sorry, my love,” Nathayden said. “I wish I could have been there to prevent this. You didn’t deserve it. You deserve only love and kindness. I promise that’s all I’ll ever give you.”

“I’m afraid I’m too broken for you now.”

“Oh, my love, you have no idea everything we’ve been through. You don’t remember it all, but I do. You’re not broken. I’ll help you heal, inside and out, just like we’ve always done for each other.” His soul tightened around mine again. “We’re together now, and that’s all that matters. We’ll get through everything else.”

I let him soothe my soul, and I did the same for his, which I realized was just as battered and beaten as my own. The intermingling of our souls as we shared our eternal feelings for each other felt like nothing I’d ever experienced before. Not in this lifetime anyway. The gentle bumps and light touches that I thought of as soul-kisses, the soft caresses against each other as we learned and remembered more about the other and our connection, the pure high of being together that would make my belly quiver and my thighs clench if I were in my body … This was what I would call truly making love. We lifted each other up, shared our love, twisted and swirled, stroked and collided again and again until we combined and exploded together in what I could only call a soul orgasm.

And then we drifted down in the most perfect peace.

I didn’t want to, but eventually, I pulled away from Nathayden, testing myself apart from him. I still felt him in me, which brought me more joy than I’d ever felt in my life. I went as far as across the cave to where Leni and Brock slept. Both of their faces looked scrunched and pinched, as though they grieved. I vowed to Nathayden that we’d do whatever we could to help them, and he agreed. After all, we didn’t just owe these lives to them. We owed them the full existences of our souls.

“I don’t know how much time has passed,” Nathayden said, “but as much as I hate to say it, we can’t stay like this forever. This world is a dangerous one. We must figure out our plans.”

I slid back into him, and we mixed together for a bit longer before reluctantly slipping back into our bodies.

“I love you, Rebethannah,” Nathayden’s soul whispered to mine right before we did.

“I love you, Nathayden,” I replied.

Excruciating pain zinged through every part of my body as soon as I returned to it. Sharp jolts in my muscles and organs, dull aches in my bones, burning and stinging across my skin. I hadn’t moved a hair yet, but even the simple act of breathing brought agony.

But that was okay. I didn’t want to be numb anymore. Because if I could feel pain, that meant I could feel love, too, and I had someone who loved me very much. I’d always had him. I’d just needed to find him again.

I tried to pry my eyes open as much as possible against the swelling. I could see better than I could in the car, which gave me hope. Especially when I focused in on the most breathtaking face I’d ever seen. I mean, he seriously took my breath away, and I realized I’d never really known what true beauty was until now. I saw it in the silver eyes staring back at me—no, I saw it in the soul behind those eyes. He smiled as he gazed at me with utter adoration, and if my body didn’t ache so much, it probably would have melted.

“Hi. I’m Hayden,” he said, his warm but gritty voice sending a charge straight to my soul.

I gave him the best smile my tight and aching face could muster. “Hey. I’m Bex. And I belong to you. Forever.”

His grin grew, and his hand gently cupped the side of my face. Then ever so softly, he brushed his lips against mine. And I knew I’d never stated anything truer in my life.
All
my lives.

Hayden whispered against my lips, “And I’m yours. Always.”

Chapter 31

I’d closed my eyes but never fell asleep. I didn’t see how I could with the pain in my soul. Would I ever be able to sleep again? Or was that how I would go Dark?

My body trembled, and I opened my eyes. The cavern was just as dark as it had been when we arrived with a faint orange glow on the walls, but a freezing cold had set in. I shivered again, as much against the agony as the cold. Brock’s eyes opened. He probably hadn’t slept either. Bex had never awoken, and Hayden lay with her. I hoped they were Bonding.

“You okay?” Brock whispered.

I gnawed on my lip, and tears stung my eyes.

“They’ll come for us, right? Jeric and Asia?” I asked, doubt already darkening my hopes. Why hadn’t they come already?

“Of course,” Brock said through gritted teeth. “They probably don’t know what you did with the Book and are trying to figure it out.”

I pressed my lips together and nodded. “Until then, we keep each other alive. Okay? We can’t let each other go Dark.”

“You have my word, Leni.”

We held each other’s gazes for a moment, then I nodded again and closed my eyes, squeezing them against the tears. I envisioned the current face of my Twin Flame—his royal blue eyes, the ring in his eyebrow, his full lips and the dimples in his cheeks. With every bit of my heart and soul, I tried to reach across the worlds to him, believing as hard as I could.

I love you, Jeric. Come find me, babe.