The Space Within (The Book of Phoenix #3) (25 page)

Asia gnawed on her lip behind Hope, twisted a finger in her blue hair, and then gave me the slightest nod. I couldn’t tell in her dark eyes if she’d actually changed her mind, or if she saw what we’d both wanted earlier today before Hope had arrived: the fastest route to Darkness to end our pain once and for all.

It was a shit-ass choice, though. Even if I did want the Darkness to take me when there was no hope of seeing Leni again, I didn’t want it consuming all of Earth’s souls. And we’d be taking that risk. On the other hand, this could be my chance to save my girl. To save her soul. Maybe even save the world.

I needed her here with me to light my way and show me the right decision. But, of course, that was the whole fucking problem. And I missed her more than ever.

Chapter 23

Brock glared at me with murder in his eyes. With hatred so pure and unadulterated, it could only come from Darkness. And I couldn’t blame him. If I’d been in his shoes, staring down the one person who’d been ultimately responsible for every tragedy I’d experienced in this life and past ones … the reason we were all here, losing our souls … I’d want to kill me, too. As expected, he flew at me.

Hayden jumped in front of him, pushing him backwards across the ice. “You don’t want to do this, mate.”

“The hell I don’t!”

“Just let him,” I said in misery from my seat on the floor. “I deserve it. I’m done anyway. I’m tired of fighting it all.”

“Don’t you give up,” Bex snapped as she dropped to my side.

“Leave me alone, Bex.” I lay down on my side with my knees pulled to my chest.

“No. You wouldn’t let me die. I’m not letting you.”

“Let me go,” Brock snarled.

“I’m not letting you do something you’ll regret,” Hayden said. He pinned Brock to the cavern wall.

I closed my eyes, unable to look at him any more. Any of them. How could Bex be trying to save me after all the heartache I caused in her lives? How could any of them stand to look at me?

A giggle sounded from somewhere in the distance, although it wasn’t really. Enyxa hadn’t left our cavern. She knew we were close to crossing to her side. But she’d sounded so far away because I’d been the one leaving. My soul had been anyway.

“Isn’t this working out perfectly?” she cooed. “Did you know the Phoenix could have saved you with the Book? But they won’t. They’re too afraid of me and my army. And now you’re so close to going Dark!” She’d nearly squealed it, if evil could squeal. “You will become my children, and what’s ironic but you know is true, Jacquelena, is that I’ll be a better mother than you’ve had in lifetimes. I take care of my children. And once you become one of mine, so will your other halves on Earth. Rebethannah and Nathayden, un-Forged and weak, will follow right behind. And then the Original Seven—what the Guardians had been stupid enough to call
sacred
—will be completely destroyed. And you know what that means, Jacquelena?”

I moaned in answer, not giving two fucks what it meant any more. There was nothing I could do about it anyway.

“It means the Gates will open to
me
, the last of the Original Seven. I’ll finally be able to take over Earth, and I’ll be a better leader than Ja’mai could ever be. As long as any of you are there, I can’t have it, but you’ll be gone! Earth will be mine. Not even Satan’s, but mine. All
mine!
”

It took me a long moment to process what she was saying because I’d already let myself go. I’d already been working on releasing my soul from this body so it could follow the Darkness to the peace of finality. But Enyxa had gone on and on, droning in the background of my mind, not letting me go completely.

And her meaning began to take form. We’d been shut out of our own world because they’d been so afraid of the Lakari and Enyxa. The Phoenix Guardians had been forced to choose between our souls and all of Earth’s. They’d obviously chosen the rest of humanity. I couldn’t blame them. We’d been the ones to mess up in the first place, way back in the beginning, causing this catastrophe.
We
deserved to go Dark. The rest of Earth did not.

But there was something else Enyxa had just said: As long as we, the Original Seven, were on Earth, she couldn’t enter. She couldn’t take it. But as soon as we’d all gone Dark, Earth was hers anyway.

There really was no choice.

I managed to summon every bit of feeling I still had, every drop of love left in my body, every thin thread of connection we might still have. I focused on the Book of Phoenix, praying like I’d never prayed before that it would receive my last ditch effort of communication, and I silently screamed:

JEEEEERRRRRRIIIIICCCCC!

Chapter 24

The healers, the Guides, Hope, and Asia stared at me expectantly, waiting for my decision. I rubbed my brow ring as I looked at each of their faces and saw for the first time how much trust they put into me. How much faith they had that I would make the right decision not only for all of us but for all of humanity. They looked to me as the leader of the Phoenix Guardians. Even Hope, who could have moved forward on her own, but left the ultimate decision to me. I’d never felt so much fucking pressure in my life. But I knew what I needed to do.

It was time to become that leader once and for all.

“The last time someone told me what was best for everyone, I couldn’t bring myself to trust them,” I started. “I’m—”

“Hope! The Book,” Melinda interrupted with a panic.

Asia sucked in her breath. “I’ve seen it do that before.”

Hope tossed the Book onto the conference table as black smoke poured out of it. She opened the cover with a swipe of her finger over the lock—a show of evidence she’d been telling the truth. She turned through the pages, and the smoke began to clear. She found the one where the words had been burned into, clearly in Leni’s handwriting:

“Jeric! Open the Gate and bring us home. It’s the only way to save Earth!”

My fingers skimmed over the words, and I could
feel
Leni reaching out to me. I could feel her soul looking for mine. A small smile twitched at the corners of my mouth. If I hadn’t been sure before that I was doing the right thing—as risky as it was—I knew now. I put my hands on the table to brace myself and looked up at the others again.

“As I was saying, I’m not making the same mistake again. Let’s do this.”

After a few minutes of planning, Melinda, Uri, Mira, and Theo left the room to begin spreading the word to the Guardians, not just at our Gate, but all over the world. We needed to bring as many here as possible without leaving the other Gates completely unmanned, just in case something went wrong. So there was much to be coordinated.

“You two come with me, and I’ll show you how to use the Book,” Hope said to Asia and me.

She picked the Book up and walked out of the meeting room. I began to follow, but Asia didn’t. I stopped in the doorway and turned, silently questioning her. Her gaze avoided my face.

“Asia,” Hope said from behind me, “if you want your proof that I’m here to help, you’re about to get it.”

Asia bit her bottom lip, then blew out a breath and finally strode toward the doorway. We followed Hope down the hall, into the mansion part of the manor, and out the wooden double doors that led to the lawn and the bay.

“Like the Gates, many of the Book’s powers are activated by water,” Hope explained as she walked to the water’s edge.

“Well, it came out of the bay the other day after soaking in it for two days,” Asia said, “and the water didn’t do anything except wash away what had been written inside.”

“Not permanently washed away,” Hope corrected. “And no, it wouldn’t react if it was water-logged. That would make it too easy for the wrong person to find it and accidentally activate its powers. The water has to be applied lightly and with purpose. Like this.”

She bent down and swished her fingers in the water, then held her hand above the Book and let it drip onto the corner of the cover. The symbols that had been etched into the leather at that spot glowed a silvery blue. Somehow, as I stared at them, I knew exactly what they meant: Jacquelena.

“These symbols are your souls’ imprints,” Hope explained as she lit up more symbols: Broderick. “Highlighting them like this creates a stronger connection. Wetting different parts of the cover provides different results, such as opening a portal to another place on Earth or even creating a Gate wherever you are to take you to different worlds.”

She pointed to the areas of the image embossed on the cover that contained the various powers, but she didn’t actually activate them.

“So that’s what Leni did when they disappeared?” Asia asked, her voice showing real interest.

Hope nodded. “And that’s what we’ll do to get them back. The intent and desire of the user determines the direction of travel. She must have been focusing on taking Rebethannah to Nathayden, rather than bringing Nathayden to Earth. The Gate will illuminate around the Book and take anyone within its walls. The problem with that, though, is that the Book is Earthbound. When you use a Gate created by the Book, you have to want to leave for good … or be sure there’s someone here who can bring you back. Like what we’re going to do.”

She opened the Book and flipped to the page that had been burned. “You can write in it as a one-way record-keeper, as Jacey did, but you can also intend for your writing to be felt by one of your own. And messages can come from other worlds, so when you’re in the situation you are now, you can’t exactly talk back and forth, but you can communicate.”

As if the Book heard her—maybe it did, or Leni did, or whatever—new words appeared on the page. More from Leni:

“Enyxa’s here. We’ll try to fight her, but I don’t think we’re strong enough. We’re too Dark. She’ll try to come through the Gate as soon as you open it, so be ready, Jeric. Please, God, say this message is getting through.”

“Perfect,” Hope said. “Enyxa’s exactly where we want her.”

“With our Twin Flames?” I asked in disbelief. “Not exactly!”

“Yes, exactly. It is up to you and your Twin Flames to defeat Enyxa. This is part of who you are. But first, we need to get the rest of the Guardians here as quickly as possible. I’ll show you how to create those portals for them.”

Before she began, we confirmed with Uri and Melinda that the leaders at each of the other six Gates had been notified and Guardians were on standby. Then Hope plunged her hand in the water again and started tracing certain parts of the image with her fingertip, leaving a trail of water.

Within a few minutes, Guardians from around the world began dropping into the water and onto the lawn around us as though falling from the sky. Yoshi and Tasha came, along with several Tokyo Guardians. They all took one look at Hope and bowed deeply. What did they know that we didn’t? Asia and I exchanged a look.

“The Darkness within you blinds you from the truth,” Hope said, as though reading our minds.

It took an absurd amount of time for all of the Guardians to arrive. Or maybe it wasn’t that long, but my patience was quickly dissolving. If all went well, I’d be holding my girl by the end of the night. If it didn’t go well, we’d all be dead and Earth would belong to Enyxa. Both possibilities sent shot after shot of adrenaline rushing through my veins. I couldn’t stand still and went from leader to leader to check on the status of their Guardians, discuss our plans, and alter them when someone provided a new idea. Eventually, they all told me to chill the hell out, and I was diminished to pacing.

Asia, on the other hand, became more and more withdrawn.

She sat on the beach near the water’s edge with her knees pulled up to her chin. She absent-mindedly traced designs in the sand next to her as she stared out over the water and the sun hanging low in the afternoon sky.

I strode over to her. “Are you up for this?”

She didn’t look up at me. “Of course.”

“For real? Because I can’t have you doing something stupid. I need you to overcome the Darkness.”

“I can do it, Jeric. I will be the warrior you need me to be.”

If only she’d sounded more convincing. I began to wonder if she should be inside, protecting the bodies of those Guardians who projected. She didn’t seem to have the proper awareness to be out here in the middle of the action.

“Stop worrying about me,” Asia said. “You’ve been there for me this week. I’ll be there for you. I’ll fight for you until my last breath.”

I cocked my head at this last statement. Maybe lack of alertness wasn’t the problem. Maybe suicidal tendencies were. I was about to ask when Mat and Kel came jogging up to us.

“Everyone who’s coming is here,” Kel said.

“We’re ready then,” Hope said, suddenly appearing by my side.

All of the Guardians—hundreds of dyad pairs—had gathered on the lawn, once again looking to me to lead them. I blew out a heavy breath before addressing them.

“My comrades, my friends, my fellow warriors,” I began and immediately felt like a dumbass for how stupid that sounded. Like I was some military leader in a scripted movie about to give a powerful speech to motivate the troops. Then again, I supposed that was precisely what I was about to do. “We have no choice but to do exactly the opposite of what the Phoenix Guardians of the Gates are supposed to do—we’re going to invite evil into our world rather than keep it out.”

A quiet murmur floated through the crowd.

“I know it sounds messed up,” I continued over the din. “But it’s the only way to defeat Enyxa and rid Earth of her Dark souls. Imagine what that would mean.”

The crowd became louder, now with excitement.

“It would mean Earth’s souls have a better chance of staying Light. It would mean our jobs as Phoenix Guardians would become less risky. It could even mean we’d have a chance to live a full life and grow old with our Twin Flames.”

Some whoops and hollers sounded from the audience now. We may have not been able to remember much else, but we could all recall how short our life cycles on Earth had always been, all because of the Lakari. Just because we were warriors shouldn’t have had to mean we could never have a future—a real future—with our other halves, but that was how it had always been for us. My biggest fear since rejoining the Phoenix had been the fact that I could lose Leni at any time. That possibility existed anyway, I knew, but as long as Enyxa and the Lakari were around, it wasn’t a possibility. It was a sure thing. We could change that with this battle.

I looked out across the crowd. “So I’m asking you to join me in the battle that’s about to start. It’s the biggest battle in our history, and I know it’s a big risk. I’m sure we’ll lose some of our friends. We may even lose the battle completely, which would mean losing the war and Earth itself. But if we don’t fight, if we don’t do this, we lose anyway.”

“Let’s do this!” someone yelled from the crowd. Several people cheered and wolf-whistled in support.

“We
can
do it because we have Hope on our side!” Yoshi said with a fist pump into the air. The crowd cheered loudly as Hope took my hand and gave it a squeeze. She really was our last hope.

“It’s time to rise up, Phoenix Guardians,” she said, raising her voice to be heard. “It’s time to do what you’re supposed to do: protect Earth’s souls.”

I was pumped up more than ever and shot my fist into the air. “Let’s show Enyxa that her Darkness doesn’t belong here! Evil does
not
win on Earth!”

The Guardians erupted into battle cries and war chants. The whole thing
was
on the cheesy side, straight from Hollywood, but it worked. A good pep talk had always invigorated me before a fight, and this one had done the same.

The Phoenix began dividing up into who would fight physically, who would project their souls for the battle, and who would be inside with the healers to protect the bodies of those who projected. I had no choice but to be out here on the lawn, fighting physically.

“Asia, go inside and help the healers,” I said to her, noticing how uninvolved she’d been in everything.

“No. I told you I’d fight.”

“You’re not in the right frame of mind. The last thing I need is for Brock to come back and find you dead.”

“I’ll fight my hardest, I promise you that. You don’t need to worry about me.”

I studied her face, the despair that filled her eyes. She moved closer to me and wrapped a hand around my arm.

“Please, Jeric,” she begged. “Don’t send me inside. I need to be out here. I need to fight. And … I need to be here—right here—when he comes back. It’s the only way I’ll know.”

I didn’t know what she meant by that. Surely she’d feel the presence of Brock’s soul the moment he returned to our world even if she was inside the manor. But the pleading look in her sorrow-filled eyes made me give in.

“Don’t make me regret it,” I growled.

“Don’t worry about me so much. I promised you I’d fight, and I will. I’ll do whatever it takes, remember?”

I stared at her for another moment, and then nodded. “Whatever it takes.”

“Everyone’s in place,” Hope said from the edge of the water. “Time to open the Gate.”

I called out the order, and all of us in physical forms on the lawn tensed up and braced for the battle that was about to begin. The Dark souls above us immediately grew excited, swirling into a cloud that expanded by the second as more flew from all corners of the world to join them. A rumbling sound came from the bay. The water rippled toward us, and then grew into larger waves. A steady stream of Darkness rose from the water where the Gate was and merged into the black cloud overhead.

Then physical figures burst out of the water and more fell from the air above. Some four-legged and monstrous, and others two-legged but just as beastly. All of them angry and hell-bent on attacking us, running and stomping through the water toward land. All of them sending out wave after wave of Darkness. The Lakari from above began dropping onto the lawn in human form, ready to fight.

The Darkness that blasted me disintegrated the hope I’d had only moments ago. Asia and I may have been too Dark already to put up much of a fight. And if it was too late for us, it was too late for everyone else.

So I couldn’t think that way. Asia and I had promised each other to do whatever it took, and I wouldn’t break that promise. Not to her, not to my Leni.

I fought the beasts and Shadowmen as hard as I could, punching and kicking and using my sword. But for every one I slayed, three more came. Enyxa’s Dark souls must have been pouring out of all of her worlds and invading ours. She’d been planning for this for millennia. She’d had them all at the ready. Hundreds of thousands of souls she’d made go Dark, maybe millions. We had barely a thousand Guardians.

We may have had Hope, who fought as hard as the rest of us, trying to protect our world, but the only way to win was for Leni, Brock, Bex, and Nathayden to join us.

But even as Dark souls continued pouring out of the Gate, they never came.

“We have to use the Book to summon them,” Hope called out to me. “Asia! Jeric! Hurry!”

I sliced off the head of an alien beast I’d been fighting and ran toward the water’s edge. Asia met us there. Following Hope’s lead, we each scooped water into our hands and poured it over the area of the cover image that depicted the Gate under the island with the tree. The water in the image glowed.

“Now press your fingers to it,” Hope said, “and call them back by their souls’ names.”

Hope and I both pressed two fingers to the silvery-blue part of the image. Asia’s small hand, however, paused in midair above ours.

“Hope,” she said, her voice quiet and desperate, “are they going to remember us when they come back? Or will their memories be stripped away again?”

My eyes flew up to her face. I’d forgotten about the theories we’d exchanged that explained why we all lost our memories after a Separation. Yoshi and Tasha had speculated that the Space Between or the Gate did it, or it simply had something to do with returning to Earth. I’d suggested it had been Enyxa. However it happened, that would really fucking suck. I couldn’t imagine Leni not remembering me or everything we’d been through together. We’d be okay, but it would suck. But for the others … Brock and Bex … would losing their memories be a good thing? Would Brock be better off if he had no memory of having and losing his son? Would Bex, too, if she didn’t remember being beaten to near death by someone who claimed to love her? Was that what Asia wanted? Did she want Brock to remember her and their life together, or did she hope he’d forget the horrible memories? This must have been what had her so quiet the last few hours. Hope looked at me with the same questions in her eyes, before softening her gaze as she turned to Asia.

“I can’t make any guarantees,” she replied, “but it had been Satan who had originally stolen your memories the first time, in a simple act of evil. It worked effectively, though, so Enyxa mimicked the curse every time she Separated you, so you wouldn’t remember the rest of the Seven and how to save them.”

“So it’s not the Gate or the Space Between that’s been stripping our memories?” I clarified.