The Strength to Fall (McKinnon Brothers Book 1) (19 page)

June 12, 2014

The greenhouse is my sanctuary. No one seems to come here but me so I have started leaving my journal here. I guess if anyone ever takes it they will get a glimpse of my soul and heart. Of course, Al owns the majority of both and always has. It is a strange feeling to feel guilt and pure joy at the same time. When we are together I’ve made a rule that neither of us will talk about the past or family. I just want to be in the now. It’s all I have and on days my mind and body aren’t working like they should, I spend enough time with my thoughts that when I feel well, I just want to live. Al makes me feel alive. I secretly weep for the loss of the life we should have had. They say hindsight is 20/20 and I believe that’s true. If I had the chance to do it all over again, I wouldn’t let Mr. McKinnon win. I was young and scared. He was intimidating and at the time a very powerful man with many connections. When he told me he needed Al to marry into the Wallace family for financial security, I thought that wasn’t enough of a reason to keep us apart. I would love to speak to Jo and get her side of what happened. There had to be a reason her father wanted her married to Al. I’ll have to see if I can visit when Al is not home. Maybe she will talk to me.

June 16, 2014

I had lunch with Ozias today. He is such a sweet intelligent man. If Al and I had had a son, I would have hoped he would have been like him. I can’t let myself go to those thoughts though. The pain is too great. Ozias is so confident in his professional life but he falters in his personal. He’s an attractive young man. I can’t see why he’s alone except that he won’t even try to date. Every time I’m with him my niece, Adira, comes to mind. She has never healed from her parents’ death. I really haven’t either but I hide it better than she does. She’s stuck and seems to choose men that she knows won’t last. I think she’s afraid. She doesn’t talk much to me about her love life. Mom tells me things. I wonder if I arranged for her and Ozias to meet if they’d hit it off. Knowing both of them, I doubt either would give the other a chance. Maybe I can bring them together? I’ll have to think about this.

August 14, 2014

Today is Adira’s 25
th
birthday. I called to talk to her and even over the phone I could tell her heart was heavy. I’m not feeling well today so I didn’t want to speak long. I don’t want her to know I won’t be here much longer. I know it will be hard for her when I’m gone, losing someone else, but I can’t bring myself to tell her and watch her heart break yet again. It’s selfish, I know, but I figure I’m allowed some selfishness at this point. I thought of Ozias the whole time we spoke. She’s alone, no boyfriend, and she’s pushed most of her girlfriends away. All she does is work and help mom. I want her to learn to fly instead of fall. I remember her birth so vividly. She was such a tiny, sickly baby. Elizabeth had such terrible pregnancies and Adira’s was hard on her. She was born in the early morning hours, 4 weeks early. She was not breathing well so she had to stay in the NICU for 2 weeks. Matthew and Elizabeth could not agree on a name so I bought them a baby book the day after she was born. Elizabeth looked up the names by meaning and when she found Adira, we all knew that was it. Strong----that was what she wanted for Adira. I wonder if she has forgotten that her name means strength. I need to remind her, even if it means putting her in a situation where she has to be.

Wow. I had forgotten that was the meaning of my name. Strong. I certainly don’t feel that way. Aunt Claire really had thought about Ozias and me being together. There is so much pain in her writing. She always seemed so carefree and happy. I guess some people just chose to hide that side of themselves to the world. I wish I was more like her in that respect. I closed the journal not able to take in anymore right now.

Coming home from work was exciting knowing I would see Ozias. He was standing outside my door when I got off the elevator. I took my earbuds out and greeted him with a kiss.

“Hello.” He hugged me tight. He was holding a letter in his hand.

“What’s that?” I asked pointing to the letter.

“I don’t know. I just signed for it. It’s from Claire’s lawyer.”

“What? Why would he be corresponding with you?” We walked into my unit. I sat my purse down on my foyer table as we both walked to my living room.

“I don’t know. You want to open it?” Ozias handed me the letter but I shook my head.

“No, it’s addressed to you.”

He ran his finger under the seal of the envelope and pulled the letters out. He cleared his throat before he began reading.

Mr. McKinnon,

              The letter enclosed is from Claire Stuart. I was instructed to mail this to you at this point in time, but only if Adira McLeod still remained at Claire’s apartment. I have it in good faith from her grandmother, Olivia Stuart, she is indeed still there. Claire was insistent that this letter be delivered at this date so I hope it reaches you.

Sincerely,

Mr. Robert Jones

We both stood there with shocked expressions. What has Claire done now? I was just as nervous as I was intrigued. “Let’s sit,” I said. We made ourselves comfortable on my couch as Ozias opened the handwritten letter from my Aunt Claire.

October 20, 2014

Ozias,

              I assume by now you that you have met your new neighbor my niece, Adira. If you’re reading this that means she did make the brave move to the city. Don’t take this lightly. She has been stagnant, afraid to move forward by the pain of her parents’ death. If she hasn’t mentioned this to you yet, don’t bring it up. Let her tell you in her time, but please, don’t hold back getting to know her. I truly believe the both of you would benefit from knowing the other. Whether this would lead to romance, who knows, but if nothing else you would make wonderful friends. She needs someone like you in her life.

              If neither of you has taken the opportunity to get to know each other, I have planned a special day for you both for your birthdays. Yes, you share the same birthday, August 14. How amazing is that! If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is? You will find enclosed in this letter information for reservations at one of the nicest restaurants in the area. I made the reservations well in advance as it takes that long. I’ve arranged for Adira to go shopping at a boutique owned by one of my friends and a car to escort you both to dinner and then a showing of Wicked. Adira loves musicals so even if she’s seen it, which I doubt, she will love it again!

              Take this gift and get to know each other either for the first time or more intimately. My hope is this isn’t your first date and that you’re already well acquainted. Have fun. Live and love, my wonderful friend and niece. Life is so painfully short. Make the most of it.

Love,

Claire

Ozias looked at the last page detailing our date. Wow. He looked at me. We were both speechless.

“I am in awe of this woman,” Ozias said.

“Me too. How did we not know we have the exact same birthday? August 14, 1989?”

“Guess, it just hasn’t come up.”

“Amazing, I have goosebumps,” I said showing Ozias my arm.

“Me too. Adira, I, I love you,” Ozias leaned in and kissed me the most passionate kiss we had shared yet. It took my breathe away. We lay there in each other’s arms just processing what he just read.

“Guess, I’ve got some shopping to do. Think Erica would go with me? She leaves to go back to school next week so it’d be nice to have a day with her.”

“I think she’d love to. She’s going to eat with us tonight at my parents’. You can ask her then.

We changed into more casual clothes to get ready for dinner at the McKinnon’s. We started having dinner once a week together, Declan made sure he attended. Erica joined us most times. Alastair still had not made an appearance but he was supposed to be there tonight. I had been making dinner on the nights we ate at his parents’ because I loved to cook and it gave Carla a much needed night off. I got busy preparing the meal I’d planned tonight. I was going casual making pulled pork tacos with mango salsa on corn tortillas. A side of spicy coleslaw and black beans made a colorful plate. I made sweet tea, now by request since I had all the McKinnon clan addicted to my southern beverage. Mini key lime pies for dessert to complete the meal. I had made everything the day before so I just needed to arrange the meal in my favorite serving dishes and transport it their home.

“You don’t have to put this in serving bowls you know,” Ozias never understood my need to have the table scape match and the food be in the right serving bowls.

“Eating is an event where I’m from. I’m not serving my meal out of Tupperware. Doesn’t my red glazed earthenware bring out all the colors of the salsa and coleslaw? It makes it look so much more appetizing” I just shook my head at his misunderstanding.

“I’d eat anything you cooked out of any type of container. You are an amazing cook.”

I kissed him as I passed with my arms full carrying the two bowls as we left my unit. “Thank you. You’re just used to eating out all the time. Anything homemade amazes you. Grab those other dishes and let’s go, I’m starving.”

Ozias went to bring Ms. Jo from the library while I set the table. Another nonnegotiable aspect of our dinners was that we use nice plates and silverware, not China, but the everyday dishes that one would use for company. It had been so long since the McKinnon family entertained guests they thought my insistence on a pretty table setting overboard, but I didn’t care. I made sure we had fresh flowers for the centerpiece as well and Ms. Jo always remarked how pretty they were. Plus, she could enjoy them all week until next week’s dinner. I was arranging the beautiful red and orange gladiolas I had bought yesterday and kept in water at my place in a rust colored glass vase that I found in their kitchen. Ozias came and hugged me from behind while I put the flowers just how I wanted them.

“You always go to such trouble for these dinners. Thank you. You have brought my family together in a way we haven’t been in years.” He kissed the back of my neck and I moaned.

I shooed him away from me, “Stop, I can’t concentrate when you do that.”

“Good, I’ll make sure you can’t focus on anything but me later.” He walked away but swatted my butt first. I turned around to swat him back but a tall figure standing in the kitchen opening stopped me.

Ozias followed my eyes. “Al, hey. Long time no see.” He extended his hand to his brother who hesitated before shaking his. So this was the mysterious older brother, Alastair.

Alastair had Doc’s height and build, though he was slightly more filled out than Doc or Declan. He had Ms. Jo’s dark black hair and hazel eyes very similar to Ozias’. My first introduction to this brother was nothing like the one I shared with Declan. Alastair was serious and held an unreadable, emotionless face. Much like Doc when I first met him. I could see why Ozias felt like the black sheep of the family. He didn’t look like his brothers and as far as I could tell he didn’t share either of their personalities.

“Al, this is Adira,” Ozias motioned to me as he made introductions.

I dried my hands off on the apron I was wearing, another thing they all made fun of me for, and extended my hand to Al. He looked at my hand like it was a foreign object. I stood there and raised both my eyebrows at him. “Hello, I’m Ozias’ girlfriend. Nice to finally meet you.”

“So, I’ve heard,” Al said and quickly shook my hand then retreated to the dining room.

“I’m sorry. This is why, even though it hurts mom’s feelings, we are all glad he doesn’t come around much.” Ozias apologized for his brother’s behavior. “Just let it go, ok? Nothing you say to him will change who he is.”

“Are you insinuating I would confront him about his rude behavior?” I feigned insult knowing that was exactly what I wanted to do.

Ozias kissed my forehead and looked in my eyes, “I say this with love, but yes, babe, you call a spade, a spade, and I love you for it, but just let this one go. For me?”

I suppressed a smile, “Ok, but only for you,” I said kissing him lightly. He smiled. I brought the flowers to the table and Ozias called everyone for dinner. Erica and Declan had just arrived and as usual even in a casual pair of pink shorts and a white t-shirt, she was stunning. I ran my hands through my hair and took my apron off. My Captain America t-shirt and blue cotton shorts would have to do. I cared more about the table’s appearance than my own and I usually didn’t care but sitting next to Erica I felt self-conscious.

Alastair greeted his mother with a kiss on her cheek and shook Doc’s hand. We all chose our seats, Ms. Jo and Doc at each end, Declan and Alastair next to each other. I sat in between Ozias and Erica on the opposite side. Silence filled the room as we ate until Declan broke the silence.

“The flowers are so beautiful, thank you dear,” Ms. Jo remarked. “I’m so very happy all of you are here. My heart is full.” Ms. Jo looked tired but so pleased.

“I’m so happy to be here, Ms. Jo,” I said looking her direction.

“You’ve outdone yourself, Adira. These tacos are amazing and key lime pie is my favorite.” Delcan said stuffing his mouth with pie.

A round of agreement went around the table with complements from everyone but Al.

“Thank you,” I love to cook so it’s no trouble at all. I’m glad you like it.”