the STRUGGLE (14 page)

“They get along okay, but from what I could tell, his mom tried to baby him, and Allen didn’t go for that at all.”

“I guess most men don’t like to be babied. We want to know that our women love us, but we don’t want ’em treatin’ us like we’re little boys.”

“That’s for sure.” Samuel reached for one of the cinnamon rolls Esther had baked the day before and took a bite. “So how are you gonna break the news to Hannah?”

“Guess I’ll just have to tell her the facts, but I’m sure not looking forward to it.” Timothy grimaced. “Hannah’s been in a better mood here of late, but I’m afraid that’ll change once she hears about her folks.”

Later that night after Hannah had put Mindy to bed, she and Timothy retired to their room, and she told him what a good time she’d had shopping. “Suzanne and I found all of the Christmas gifts we had on our lists.” Hannah smiled, realizing how good it felt to tell Timothy the events of her day. The outing with Suzanne had been just what she needed to vanish some of the tension she’d felt since arriving in Kentucky.

“Oh Timothy, I’m so excited about my folks coming for Christmas. It will be wunderbaar to have all of our parents here for the holidays. I think I actually feel some of that special holiday spirit.” Hannah plumped up their pillows, feeling a sense of lightheartedness she hadn’t experienced in some time. But then she noticed a strange look on her husband’s face.

“Hannah, I’m really glad you had such a nice day with Suzanne,” Timothy said, “but there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“I wanted us to be alone when I told you this, and there’s no easy way to soften the blow, so I may as well just come right out and say it. Your parents won’t be able to make it for Christmas.”

She hoped she’d heard him wrong. “What do you mean? Why aren’t they coming?”

“Your daed hurt his back and won’t be able to travel for a while.”

“Oh no.” She groaned, plopping down on the bed. “I just can’t believe it.”

“I’m sorry,” Timothy said. “I know how disappointed you must be.”

Hannah sniffed, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. “Jah.” Her hands shook as she stood and pulled the covers back on the bed. Changing into her nightgown and climbing under the covers, she could almost feel Timothy watching her. Yet he remained quiet as he slid into bed next to her. After a few minutes, she heard his steady, even breathing and figured he must have fallen asleep.

Hannah knew it had probably been hard for Timothy to break the news about her folks not coming, and she was grateful he’d waited until they were alone to do it. But couldn’t he have at least given her a hug instead of turning his back on her and falling asleep? Staring at the ceiling and feeling worse by the minute, Hannah realized there was nothing she could do but accept the fact that her folks weren’t coming, but that didn’t make it any easier.

Poor Dad
, she thought as tears slipped from her eyes.
He must be in terrible pain, and both he and Mom are probably just as disappointed as I am that they can’t come here for Christmas
.

Hannah rolled over and punched her pillow.
I’ll accept it, but I don’t have to like it! If I wasn’t so far from home, I’d be able to help Mom and Dad right now. If…If…If…
She buried her face in the pillow, trying to muffle her sobs.
Why do things like this always happen to me?

C
HAPTER
18

J
ust look at all that snow coming down. I think it’s safe to say that we’re gonna have a white Christmas,” Timothy said as he and Samuel headed out to the barn to do their morning chores on Christmas Eve. “Sure hope Mom and Dad make it before this weather gets any worse.”

“I hope so, too.” Samuel’s boots crunched through the snow. “This could mean we’re in for a bad winter.”

“If the snow and wind keep up like this, it could also mean Mom and Dad might have to stay longer than they planned.” Timothy glanced toward the road. “I wonder if the snowplows will come out our way today.”

“It’s hard to say. Guess it all depends on how busy they are in other places.”

When Samuel opened the barn door, the pungent aroma of horse manure hit Timothy full in the face. “Phew! There’s no denying that the horses’ stalls need a good cleaning.”

“You’re right about that. Guess we should have done them last night, but since we got home so late from that paint job in Hopkinsville, I was too tired to tackle it.”

“Same here.”

As they stepped into the first stall, Samuel asked, “Do you think Hannah and Esther are getting along any better these days?”

Timothy shrugged. “I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

“I was thinking if they were, maybe Esther and I could get married sometime after the first of the year, even if you and Hannah haven’t found a house by then.”

“I have no objections to that, but I think it’s something you and Esther will need to decide.” Timothy reached for a shovel. “I know I’ve said this before, but I really do appreciate you letting us stay with you and giving me a job. You’ve helped to make things a lot easier for us, which has given me a few less things to worry about.”

Samuel thumped Timothy’s back. “That’s what families are for. I’m sure if the tables were turned, you’d do the same for me.”

Timothy gave a nod, although he wasn’t sure his wife would be so agreeable about Samuel and his kids staying with them. Hannah was more desperate to find a place of their own than he was, and he figured it was because she wanted to have the run of the house and didn’t want to answer to Esther. Of course, if they’d been living with Hannah’s folks all this time, Hannah wouldn’t have a problem with her mother telling her what to do. And if Sally and Johnny needed a place to live, Hannah would welcome them with open arms.

Ever since he’d given her the news that her folks wouldn’t be coming for Christmas, she’d gone around looking depressed and had even refused to do any baking with Esther, saying she wasn’t in the mood. Timothy was fairly certain that Hannah didn’t know that he’d lain awake for at least an hour after she’d cried herself to sleep that night, not knowing what to say that would make her feel better. He felt even worse because, before he’d given her the news about her folks, she’d seemed upbeat about her day with Suzanne. Had it not been for the bad news, Hannah’s day of Christmas shopping might have been a turning point in helping her to be more comfortable with living in Kentucky. Instead, her Christmas spirit had disappeared.

Sure hope Hannah’s able to put on a happy face while my folks are here
, Timothy thought, gripping the shovel a little tighter.
I don’t need to hear any disapproving comments about my wife from Mom. And Hannah’s negative attitude won’t help Mom any, since she is already none too thrilled about any of her sons living here
.

The whole idea of moving had been to improve their marriage, and if Timothy’s mother didn’t see any sign of that, he’d probably have more explaining to do. Instead of getting easier, things seemed to be getting harder.

Timothy directed his thoughts back to the job at hand, and after he and Samuel finished cleaning the stalls, they left the barn.

“We must have gotten at least another two inches of snow since we started shoveling the manure,” Samuel mentioned as they tromped back to the house.

“I’ll say!” Timothy jumped back when a snowball hit him square on the forehead. “Hey! Who did that?” he asked, looking around as he wiped the snow off his head.

“There’s your culprit!” Samuel pointed to Leon, sprinting for the back porch. “Come on. Let’s get him!”

Leon squealed as Timothy and Samuel pelted him with snowballs.

“That ain’t fair! It’s two against one!” Leon jumped off the porch, scooped some snow into a ball, and slung it hard. This one landed on Samuel’s back.

In response, Samuel turned and pitched a snowball at Timothy. Pretty soon snowballs were flying every which way, and no one seemed to care who they were throwing them at.

“This has been a lot of fun,” Samuel finally said, “but we’d better go into the house and get warmed up.”

Timothy, gasping for breath, nodded, but he was grinning as he headed for the house. He felt like a kid again and was sure from the look on his brother’s face that Samuel did, too. It had been good to set his worries aside for a few minutes and do something fun. He’d forgotten that playing in the snow could be such a good stress reliever. He’d also forgotten the enjoyment he and Hannah had in the earlier years of their marriage when the first big snowstorm hit Lancaster County. It had only been a few years, yet it seemed so long ago.

Peeking into the oven at the pumpkin cookies, Esther was pleased to see that they were almost done. She planned to serve them this evening, along with hot apple cider. Since Hannah hadn’t made the Kentucky chocolate chip pie like she’d planned, Esther had also baked an apple and a pumpkin pie to serve for dessert on Christmas Day.

Esther looked forward to spending Christmas Eve with Samuel and his family, and was glad she could be here at Samuel’s all day to help with the cooking and cleaning. She felt sorry for Hannah, though, knowing how disappointed she was over her folks not being able to come. Yet despite Hannah’s sullen mood, she was upstairs right now, putting clean sheets on the bed in the guest room. Fannie and Abraham would stay here for a few nights, and since they didn’t plan to return home until New Year’s Day, they would spend a few nights with Titus and Suzanne. Esther knew Titus, Timothy, and Samuel were looking forward to seeing their folks. She’d hoped her own folks might be able to come for Christmas, but they’d decided it was best to stay in Pennsylvania to be with Sarah and Dan. Esther hoped they’d be able to come for her wedding—whenever that would take place. At the rate things were going, she was beginning to wonder if she’d ever become Samuel’s wife.

Esther had been relieved that Hannah hadn’t said anything to Samuel about Jared causing Mindy’s nose to bleed the other day. If Hannah had mentioned it, then Samuel hadn’t brought it up to Esther, which probably meant he either didn’t know or didn’t blame her. She hoped that was the case, because she didn’t want anything to come between her and Samuel.

Esther had just taken the last batch of pumpkin cookies from the oven when Samuel, Timothy, and Leon entered the kitchen laughing and kidding each other.

“Brr…It’s mighty cold out there,” Samuel said, rubbing his hands briskly together.

“And it’s snowing even harder now.” Timothy rubbed a wet spot on the bridge of his nose. “Sure hope our folks make it here soon, ‘cause I can’t help but be concerned about them.”

“Worrying won’t change a thing,” Samuel said.

“Your brother’s right,” Esther agreed. “Whenever I find myself worrying, I just get busy doing something, and that seems to help. It makes the time go by faster, too.”

“Guess you’re right. While we were out in the snow chasing each other with snowballs, I didn’t even think about my worries. But now that I’m back inside, I have a nagging feeling that the weather is going to cause some problems on the roads.”

“Well, I don’t think it’ll bother Mom and Dad,” Samuel said with an air of confidence. “They’ve hired an experienced driver with a reliable van, and I’m trusting God to keep them all safe.”

“I need to trust Him, too.” Timothy moved across the room toward Esther. “Any chance I might have one of those Kichlin?”

“The cookies are really for this evening, but since I baked plenty, it’s fine if you have a few. I’m sure you guys must have worked up an appetite playing out there in the snow. You can let me know if they’re any good.”

“If they taste as good as they smell, you don’t need to worry.” Timothy grabbed two cookies. “So, where’s my Fraa and
dochder
?”

“Hannah’s upstairs making the bed in the guest room,” Esther replied. “And Mindy’s playing with Samuel’s kinner up in Penny’s room. I think I heard Leon running up the stairs to join them. No doubt he wants to tell them about that snowball fight you all had.”

“Think I’ll go up and see how Hannah’s doing,” Timothy said, holding up one of the cookies. “I know she’s feeling pretty down today, so maybe I can cheer her up with one of these.” He ate the other cookie he’d taken. “Mmm…This is really good, Esther. Think I may need to have a couple more when I come back downstairs.”