The Sunset Limited: A Novel in Dramatic Form (4 page)

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Authors: Cormac McCarthy

BOOK: The Sunset Limited: A Novel in Dramatic Form

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Black		Oh I’d thought of it that way.
White		And?
Black		And what?
White		Isnt that the real story?
Black		Well. I dont want to get on the wrong side of you. You seem to have a powerful wish for that to be the real story. So I will say that that is certainly one way to look at it. I got to concede that. I got to keep you interested.
White		String me along.
Black		That okay with you?
White		And then put me in the what was it? The trick bag?
Black		Yeah.
White		Right.
Black		You got to remember this is a jailhouse story.
White		All right.
Black		Which you specifically asked for.
White		All right.
Black		The point is, Professor, that I aint got the first notion in the world about what makes God tick. I dont know why he spoke to me. I wouldnt of.
White		But you listened.
Black		Well what choice would you have?
White		I dont know. Not listen?
Black		How you goin to do that?
White		Just dont listen.
Black		Do you think he goes around talkin to people that he knows aint goin to listen in the first place? You think he’s got that kind of free time?
White		I see your point.
Black		If he didnt know I was ready to listen he wouldnt of said a word.
White		He’s an opportunist.
Black		Meanin I guess that he seen somebody in a place low enough to where he ought to be ready to take a pretty big step.
White		Something like that.
Black		And you think that maybe I think that you might be in somethin like that kind of a place you own self.
White		Could be.
Black		Well I can dig that. I can dig it. Of course they is one small problem.
White		And that is.
Black		I aint God.
White		I’m glad to hear you say that.
Black		It come as a relief to me too.
White		Did you used to think you were God?
Black		No. I didnt. I didnt know what I was. But I thought I was in charge. I never knowed what that burden weighed till I put it down. That might of been the sweetest thing of all. To just hand over the keys.
White		Let me ask you something.
Black		Ask it.
White		Why cant you people just accept it that some people dont even want to believe in God.
Black		I accept that.
White		You do?
Black		Sure I do. Meanin that I believe it to be a fact. I’m lookin at it ever day. I better accept it.
White		Then why cant you leave us alone?
Black		To do your own thing.
White		Yes.
Black		Hangin from them steampipes and all.
White		If that’s what we want to do, yes.
Black		Cause he said not to. It’s in here. (Holding up the book)

The professor shakes his head.

Black		I guess you dont want to be happy.
White		Happy?
Black		Yeah. What’s wrong with happy?
White		God help us.
Black		What. We done opened a can of worms here? What you got against bein happy?
White		It’s contrary to the human condition.
Black.		Well. It’s contrary to your condition. I got to agree with that.
White		Happy. This is ridiculous.
Black		Like they aint no such a thing.
White		No.
Black		Not for nobody.
White		No.
Black		Mm. How’d we get in such a fix as this?
White		We were born in such a fix as this. Suffering and human destiny are the same thing. Each is a description of the other.
Black		We aint talkin about sufferin. We talkin about bein happy.
White		Well you cant be happy if you’re in pain.
Black		Why not?
White		You’re not making any sense.
The black falls back clutching his chest.

Black		Oh them is some hard words from the professor. The preacher has fell back. He’s clutchin his heart. Eyes is rolled back in his head. Wait a minute. Wait a minute folks. His eyes is blinkin. I think he’s comin back. I think he’s comin back.
The black sits up and leans forward.

Black		The point, Professor, is that if you didnt have no pain in your life then how would you even know you was happy? As compared to what?
White		You dont have anything to drink around here do you?
Black		No, Professor, I aint. You a drinkin man?
White		Are we about to get a temperance lecture?
Black		Not from me.
White		It’s been a difficult day. I take it you dont drink.
Black		I dont. I have done my share of it in my time.
White		Are you in AA?
Black		No. No AA. I just quit. I’ve had a lots of friends was drinkers. Most of em, for that matter. Most of em dead, too.
White		From drinking.
Black		Well. From drinkin or from reasons that dont get too far from drinkin. Not too long ago I had a friend to get run down by a taxicab. Now where do you reckon he was goin? Drunk.
White		I dont know. Where was he going?
Black		Goin after more whiskey. Had plenty at the house. But a drunk is always afraid of runnin out.
White		Was he killed?
Black		I hope so. We buried him.
White		I suppose there’s a moral to this story.
Black		Well, it’s just a story about what you want and what you get. Pain and happiness. I’ll tell you another one.
White		All right.
Black		One Sunday they’s a bunch of us settin around at my house drinkin. Sunday mornin. Favorite time for drunks to get together and drink and I’ll let you think about why that might be so. Well here come one of my buddies with this girl. Evelyn. And Evelyn was drunk when she got there but we fixed her a drink and directly Redge—my buddy—he goes back in the kitchen to get him a drink only now the bottle’s gone. Well, Redge has been around a few drinkin people in his time so he commences to hunt for the bottle. Looks in all the cabinets and behind everthing. He cant find it but of course he knows what’s happened to it so he comes back in and he sets down and he looks at Miss Evelyn settin there on the sofa. Drunk as a goat. And he says: Evelyn, where’s the whiskey? And Evelyn, she goes: Ah ghaga baba lala ghaga. And he says: Evelyn, where did you put the whiskey? Ah lala bloggle blabla. And Redge is settin there and this is beginnin to piss him off just a little and he gets in her face and he goes: Ah loddle loddle blabble ghaga blabla and she says I hid it in the toilet.
White		That’s pretty funny
Black		I thought you might like that.
White		And is that where the whiskey was?
Black		Oh yeah. That’s a favorite place for drunks to hide a bottle. But the point of course is that the drunk’s concern aint that he’s goin to die from drinkin—which he is. It’s that he’s goin to run out of whiskey fore he gets a chance to do it. Are you hungry? I can come back to this. I aint goin to lose my place.
White		I’m all right. Go ahead.
Black		If you was to hand a drunk a drink and tell him he really dont want it what do you reckon he’d say?
White		I think I know what he’d say.
Black		Sure you do. But you’d still be right.
White		About him not really wanting it.
Black		Yes. Because what he really wants he cant get. Or he thinks he cant get it. So what he really dont want he cant get enough of.
White		So what is it that he really wants.
Black		You know what he really wants.
White		No I dont.
Black		Yeah you do.
White		No I dont.
Black		Hm.
White		Hm what.
Black		You a hard case, Professor.
White		You’re not exactly a day at the beach yourself.
Black		You dont know what he wants.
White		No. I do not.
Black		He wants what everbody wants.
White		And that is?
Black		He wants to be loved by God.
White		I dont want to be loved by God.
Black		I love that. See how you cut right to it? He dont either. Accordin to him. He just wants a drink of whiskey. You a smart man, Professor. You tell me which one makes sense and which one dont.
White		I dont want a drink of whiskey, either.
Black		I thought you just got done askin for one?
White		I mean as a general proposition.
Black		We aint talkin about no general propositions. We talkin about a drink.
White		I dont have a drinking problem.
Black		Well you got some kind of a problem.
White		Well whatever kind of a problem I have it’s not something that I imagine can be addressed with a drink of liquor.
Black		Mm. I love the way you put that. So what can it be addressed with?
White		I think you know what it can be addressed with.
Black		The Sunset Limited.
White		Yes.
Black		And that’s what you want.
White		That’s what I want. Yes.
Black		That’s a mighty big drink of whiskey, Professor.
White		That I dont really want.
Black		That you dont really want. Yes.
White		Well. I think I do want it.
Black		Of course you do, honey. If you didnt we wouldnt be settin here.
White		Well. I disagree with you.
Black		That’s all right. That’s the hand I’m playin.
White		I dont think you understand that people such as myself see a yearning for God as something lacking in those people.
Black		I do understand that. Couldnt agree more.
White		You agree with that?
Black		Sure I do. What’s lackin is God.
White		Well, as I say, we’ll just have to disagree.
Black		You aint closin down the forum for discussion are you?
White		Not at this juncture.
Black		Cause I had a little more to say.
White		How did I know that?
Black		I did go to one or two AA meetins. Lot of folks didnt like the God part of it all that much but I hadnt set there too long fore I figured out that the God part was really all the part they was. The problem wasnt that they was too much God in AA it was that they wasnt enough. And I got a pretty thick head about some things but I finally figured out that what was true about AA was probably true about a lot of other things too.
White		Well I’m sorry, but to me the whole idea of God is just a load of crap.
The black puts his hand to his chest and leans back.

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