The Taming of the Shrew (6 page)

TRANIO
    Ay, marry, am I, sir, and now ’tis plotted.

LUCENTIO
    I have it, Tranio.

TRANIO
    Master,
for my hand
¹⁸⁷
,
    Both our
inventions meet
¹⁸⁸
and jump in one.

LUCENTIO
    Tell me thine first.

TRANIO
    You will be schoolmaster
    And undertake the teaching of the maid:
    That’s your
device
¹⁹²
.

LUCENTIO
    It is: may it be done?

TRANIO
    Not possible, for who shall
bear
¹⁹⁴
your part,
    And be in Padua here Vincentio’s son,
    
Keep house
¹⁹⁶
and ply his book, welcome his friends,
    Visit his countrymen and banquet them?

LUCENTIO
    
Basta
¹⁹⁸
, content thee, for I have it full.
    We have not yet been seen in any house,
    Nor can we be distinguished by our faces
    For man or master. Then it follows thus:
    Thou shalt be master, Tranio, in my stead,
    Keep house and
port
²⁰³
and servants as I should.
    I will some other be, some Florentine,
    Some Neapolitan, or
meaner
²⁰⁵
man of Pisa.
    ’Tis hatched and shall be so. Tranio, at once
    
Uncase
²⁰⁷
thee: take my coloured hat and cloak.

They exchange clothes

    When Biondello comes, he waits on thee,
    But I will
charm
²⁰⁹
him first to keep his tongue.

TRANIO
    So had you need.
    In brief, sir,
sith
²¹¹
it your pleasure is,
    And I am
tied
²¹²
to be obedient —
    For so your father
charged
²¹³
me at our parting,
    ‘Be serviceable to my son’, quoth he,
    Although I think ’twas in another sense —
    I am content to be Lucentio,
    Because so well I love Lucentio.

LUCENTIO
    Tranio, be so, because Lucentio loves.
    And let me be a slave, t’achieve that maid
    
Whose sudden sight
²²⁰
hath thralled my wounded eye.

Enter Biondello
    Here comes the rogue. Sirrah, where have you been?

BIONDELLO
    Where have I been? Nay, how now? Where are you?
    Master, has my fellow Tranio stolen your clothes? Or you
    stolen his? Or both? Pray, what’s the news?

LUCENTIO
    Sirrah, come hither. ’Tis no time to jest,
    And therefore
frame
²²⁶
your manners to the time.
    Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life,
    Puts my apparel and my
count’nance
²²⁸
on,
    And I for my escape have put on his,
    For in a quarrel since I came ashore
    I killed a man, and fear I was
descried
²³¹
.
    Wait you on him, I charge you, as
becomes
²³²
,
    While I make way from hence to save my life.
    You understand me?

BIONDELLO
    I, sir? Ne’er a whit.

LUCENTIO
    And not a jot of Tranio in your mouth.
    Tranio is changed into Lucentio.

BIONDELLO
    The better for him. Would I were so too!

TRANIO
    So could I, faith, boy, to have the next wish after,
    That Lucentio indeed had Baptista’s youngest daughter.
    But, sirrah, not for my sake, but your master’s, I advise
    You use your manners
discreetly
²⁴²
in all kind of companies:
    When I am alone, why, then I am Tranio,
    But in all places else your master Lucentio.

LUCENTIO
    Tranio, let’s go. One thing more
rests
²⁴⁵
that thyself
    execute: to
make
²⁴⁶
one among these wooers. If thou ask me
    why,
sufficeth
²⁴⁷
my reasons are both good and weighty.

Exeunt
The Presenters above speak

FIRST SERVINGMAN
    My lord, you nod. You do not
mind
²⁴⁸
the play.

SLY
    Yes, by Saint Anne, do I. A good
matter
²⁴⁹
, surely.
    Comes there any more of it?

PAGE
    My lord, ’tis but begun.

SLY
    ’Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady.
    
Would
²⁵³
’twere done!

They sit and mark

Enter Petruchio and his man
Grumio

PETRUCHIO
    
Verona
¹
, for a while I take my leave,
    To see my friends in Padua; but
of all
²
    My best belovèd and approvèd friend,
    Hortensio, and I
trow
⁴
this is his house.
    Here, sirrah Grumio, knock, I say.

GRUMIO
    
Knock
⁶
, sir? Whom should I knock? Is there any man
    has
rebused
⁷
your worship?

PETRUCHIO
    Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.

GRUMIO
    Knock you here, sir? Why, sir, what am I, sir, that I
    should knock you here, sir?

PETRUCHIO
    
Villain
¹¹
, I say, knock me at this gate
    And rap me well, or I’ll knock your knave’s
pate
¹²
.

GRUMIO
    My master is grown quarrelsome.
I should knock you first,
    And then I know after who comes by the worst
¹³
.

PETRUCHIO
    Will it not be?
    Faith, sirrah, an you’ll not knock, I’ll
ring
¹⁶
it.
    
I’ll try how you can
sol-fa
and sing it
¹⁷
.

He wrings him by the ears

GRUMIO
    Help,
mistress
¹⁸
, help! My master is mad.

PETRUCHIO
    Now, knock when I bid you, sirrah villain.

Enter Hortensio

HORTENSIO
    How now? What’s the matter? My old friend Grumio
    and my good friend Petruchio?
How do you all
²¹
at Verona?

PETRUCHIO
    Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray?
    
Con tutto il cuore, ben trovato
²³
, may I say.

HORTENSIO
    
Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorata signor
    mio
²⁴
Petruchio. Rise, Grumio, rise. We will
compound
²⁵
this
    quarrel.

GRUMIO
    Nay, ’tis no matter, sir, what he
’leges
²⁷
in Latin. If this
    be not a lawful cause for me to leave his service, look you, sir:
    he bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir. Well, was it fit
    for a servant to
use
³⁰
his master so, being perhaps, for aught I
    see,
two and thirty, a pip out
³¹
?
    Whom would to God I had well knocked at first,
    Then had not Grumio come by the worst.

PETRUCHIO
    A senseless villain! Good Hortensio,
    I bade the rascal knock upon your gate
    And could not get him for my
heart
³⁶
to do it.

GRUMIO
    Knock at the gate? O heavens! Spake you not these
    words plain, ‘Sirrah, knock me here, rap me here, knock me
    well, and knock me soundly’? And come you now with,
    ‘knocking at the gate’?

PETRUCHIO
    Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.

HORTENSIO
    Petruchio, patience. I am Grumio’s
pledge
⁴²
.
    Why,
this’
⁴³
a heavy chance ’twixt him and you,
    Your
ancient
⁴⁴
, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.
    And tell me now, sweet friend, what
happy
⁴⁵
gale
    Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?

PETRUCHIO
    Such wind as scatters young men through the world,
    To seek their fortunes further than at home
    Where small experience grows. But
in a few
⁴⁹
,
    Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me:
    Antonio, my father, is deceased,
    And I have thrust myself into this maze,
    Happily to
wive
⁵³
and thrive as best I may.
    
Crowns
⁵⁴
in my purse I have and goods at home,
    And so am come abroad to see the world.

HORTENSIO
    Petruchio, shall I then
come roundly
⁵⁶
to thee
    And
wish
⁵⁷
thee to a shrewd ill-favoured wife?
    
Thou’ldst
⁵⁸
thank me but a little for my counsel.
    And yet I’ll promise thee she shall be rich,
    And very rich. But thou’rt too much my friend,
    And I’ll not wish thee to her.

PETRUCHIO
    Signior Hortensio, ’twixt such friends as we
    Few words suffice: and therefore, if thou know
    One rich enough to be Petruchio’s wife —
    As wealth is
burden
⁶⁵
of my wooing dance —
    Be she as foul as was
Florentius’ love
⁶⁶
,
    As old as
Sibyl
⁶⁷
and as curst and shrewd
    As Socrates’
Xanthippe
⁶⁸
, or a worse,
    She
moves me not
⁶⁹
, or not removes, at least,
    Affection’s edge in me, were she as rough
    As are the swelling Adriatic seas.
    I come to wive it wealthily in Padua,
    If wealthily, then happily in Padua.

GRUMIO
    Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his
mind
⁷⁴
    is. Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or
    an
aglet-baby
⁷⁶
; or an old trot with ne’er a tooth in her head,
    though she have as many diseases as two and fifty horses.
    Why, nothing comes amiss,
so money comes withal
⁷⁸
.

HORTENSIO
    Petruchio, since we
are stepped thus far in
⁷⁹
,
    I will continue
that I broached
⁸⁰
in jest.
    I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife
    With wealth enough and young and beauteous,
    Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman.
    Her only fault, and that is faults enough,
    Is that she is
intolerable
⁸⁵
curst
    And shrewd and froward, so beyond all measure
    That, were my
state
⁸⁷
far worser than it is,
    I would not wed her for a mine of gold.

PETRUCHIO
    Hortensio, peace! Thou know’st not gold’s effect.
    Tell me her father’s name and ’tis enough,
    For I will
board
⁹¹
her, though she chide as loud
    As thunder when the clouds in autumn
crack
⁹²
.

HORTENSIO
    Her father is Baptista Minola,
    An affable and courteous gentleman.
    Her name is Katherina Minola,
    Renowned in Padua for her scolding tongue.

PETRUCHIO
    I know her father, though I know not her,
    And he knew my deceasèd father well.
    I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her,
    And therefore let me be thus bold with you
    To
give you over
¹⁰¹
at this first encounter,
    Unless you will accompany me thither.

GRUMIO
    I pray you, sir, let him go while the
humour
¹⁰³
lasts. O’
    my word,
an
¹⁰⁴
she knew him as well as I do, she would think
    scolding would do little good upon him. She may perhaps
    call him
half a score
¹⁰⁶
knaves or so. Why, that’s nothing; an he
    begin once, he’ll
rail
¹⁰⁷
in his rope-tricks. I’ll tell you what, sir,
    an she
stand
¹⁰⁸
him but a little, he will throw a figure in her
    face and so disfigure her with it that she shall have no more
    eyes to see
withal
¹¹⁰
than a cat. You know him not, sir.

HORTENSIO
    Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee,
    For in Baptista’s
keep
¹¹²
my treasure is:
    He hath the jewel of my life in
hold
¹¹³
,
    His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca,
    And her withholds from me and
other more
¹¹⁵
,
    Suitors to her and rivals in my love,
    Supposing it a thing impossible,
    For those
defects
¹¹⁸
I have before rehearsed,
    That ever Katherina will be wooed:
    Therefore this
order
¹²⁰
hath Baptista ta’en,
    That none shall have access unto Bianca
    Till Katherine the curst have got a husband.