The Taming of the Shrew (8 page)

Enter Katherina
    Good morrow, Kate, for that’s your name, I hear.

KATE
    Well have you heard, but something
hard
¹⁸³
of hearing:
    They call me Katherine that do talk of me.

PETRUCHIO
    You lie, in faith, for you are called plain Kate,
    And bonny Kate and sometimes Kate the curst,
    But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom,
    Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate,
    For
dainties are all Kates
¹⁸⁹
, and therefore, Kate,
    Take this
of
¹⁹⁰
me, Kate of my consolation,
    Hearing thy mildness praised in every town,
    Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty
sounded
¹⁹²
,
    Yet not so
deeply as to thee belongs
¹⁹³
,
    Myself am
moved
¹⁹⁴
to woo thee for my wife.

KATE
    Moved?
In good time!
¹⁹⁵
Let him that moved you hither
    Remove
you hence. I knew you at the first
¹⁹⁶
    You were a
movable
¹⁹⁷
.

PETRUCHIO
    Why, what’s a movable?

KATE
    A
joint stool
¹⁹⁹
.

PETRUCHIO
    Thou hast hit it: come,
sit on me
²⁰⁰
.

KATE
    
Asses
²⁰¹
are made to bear, and so are you.

PETRUCHIO
    Women are made to bear, and so are you.

KATE
    No such jade as you, if me you mean.

PETRUCHIO
    Alas, good Kate, I will not
burden
²⁰⁴
thee,
    For knowing thee to be but young and
light
²⁰⁵
—

KATE
    Too
light
²⁰⁶
for such a swain as you to catch,
    And yet
as heavy as my weight should be
²⁰⁷
.

PETRUCHIO
    Should
be
²⁰⁸
? Should — buzz!

KATE
    Well
ta’en
²⁰⁹
, and like a buzzard.

PETRUCHIO
    O slow-winged
turtle
²¹⁰
, shall a buzzard take thee?

KATE
    Ay, for a
turtle, as he takes a buzzard
²¹¹
.

PETRUCHIO
    Come, come, you wasp, i’faith, you are too angry.

KATE
    If I be
waspish
²¹³
, best beware my sting.

PETRUCHIO
    My remedy is then to pluck it out.

KATE
    Ay, if the fool could find it where it lies.

PETRUCHIO
    Who knows not where a wasp does wear his
sting
²¹⁶
? In his tail.

KATE
    In his tongue.

PETRUCHIO
    Whose tongue?

KATE
    Yours, if you talk of
tails
²¹⁹
, and so farewell.

PETRUCHIO
    What,
with my tongue in your tail
²²⁰
? Nay, come again.
    Good Kate, I am a gentleman.

KATE
    That I’ll
try
²²²
.

She strikes him

PETRUCHIO
    I swear I’ll
cuff
²²³
you, if you strike again.

KATE
    So may you
lose your arms
²²⁴
:
    If you
strike
²²⁵
me, you are no gentleman,
    And if no gentleman, why then no arms.

PETRUCHIO
    A herald, Kate? O, put me in thy
books
²²⁷
!

KATE
    What is your
crest
²²⁸
, a coxcomb?

PETRUCHIO
    A
combless
²²⁹
cock, so Kate will be my hen.

KATE
    No cock of mine, you crow too like a
craven
²³⁰
.

PETRUCHIO
    Nay, come, Kate, come, you must not look so sour.

KATE
    It is my
fashion
²³²
, when I see a crab.

PETRUCHIO
    Why, here’s no crab, and therefore look not sour.

KATE
    There is, there is.

PETRUCHIO
    Then show it me.

KATE
    Had I a
glass
²³⁶
, I would.

PETRUCHIO
    What, you mean my face?

KATE
    
Well aimed of such a young one
²³⁸
.

PETRUCHIO
    Now, by Saint George, I am too
young
²³⁹
for you.

KATE
    Yet you are withered.

PETRUCHIO
    ’Tis with
cares
²⁴¹
.

KATE
    I care not.

PETRUCHIO
    Nay, hear you, Kate. In sooth you
scape
²⁴³
not so.

KATE
    I
chafe
²⁴⁴
you, if I tarry. Let me go.

PETRUCHIO
    No, not a whit. I find you passing gentle.
    ’Twas told me you were
rough
²⁴⁶
and coy and sullen,
    And now I find report a very liar,
    For thou are
pleasant
²⁴⁸
, gamesome, passing courteous,
    But
slow
²⁴⁹
in speech, yet sweet as spring-time flowers.
    Thou canst not frown, thou canst not look
askance
²⁵⁰
,
    Nor bite the lip, as angry wenches will,
    Nor hast thou pleasure to be
cross
²⁵²
in talk.
    But thou with mildness
entertain’st
²⁵³
thy wooers,
    With gentle
conference
²⁵⁴
, soft and affable.
    Why does the world report that Kate doth limp?

Kicks her?

    O sland’rous world! Kate like the hazel twig
    Is straight and slender and as brown in hue
    As hazelnuts and sweeter than the kernels.
    O, let me see thee walk: thou dost not
halt
²⁵⁹
.

KATE
    Go, fool, and
whom thou keep’st command
²⁶⁰
.

PETRUCHIO
    Did ever
Dian
²⁶¹
so become a grove
    As Kate this chamber with her princely
gait
²⁶²
?
    O, be thou Dian, and let her be Kate,
    And then let Kate be chaste and Dian
sportful
²⁶⁴
!

KATE
    Where did you
study
²⁶⁵
all this goodly speech?

PETRUCHIO
    It is
extempore
²⁶⁶
, from my mother-wit.

KATE
    
A witty mother, witless else her son
²⁶⁷
.

PETRUCHIO
    Am I not
wise?
KATE
    Yes, keep you warm
²⁶⁸
.

PETRUCHIO
    Marry, so I
mean
²⁷⁰
, sweet Katherine, in thy bed.
    And therefore, setting all this chat aside,
    Thus in plain terms: your father hath consented
    That you shall be my wife; your dowry ’greed on,
    And,
will you
²⁷⁴
, nill you, I will marry you.
    Now, Kate, I am a husband
for your turn
²⁷⁵
,
    For by this light, whereby I see thy beauty,
    Thy beauty that doth make me like thee well,
    Thou must be married to no man but me,

Enter Baptista, Gremio, Tranio
[
disguised as Lucentio
]

    For I am he am born to tame you, Kate,
    And bring you from a
wild Kate
²⁸⁰
to a Kate
    
Conformable
²⁸¹
as other household Kates.
    Here comes your father.
Never make denial
²⁸²
,
    I must and will have Katherine to my wife.

BAPTISTA
    Now, Signior Petruchio, how
speed you
²⁸⁴
with my daughter?

PETRUCHIO
    How but well, sir? How but well?
    It were impossible I should speed
amiss
²⁸⁶
.

BAPTISTA
    Why, how now, daughter Katherine?
In your dumps?
²⁸⁷

KATE
    Call you me ‘daughter’? Now, I promise you
    You have showed a tender fatherly regard,
    To wish me wed to one half-lunatic,
    A mad-cap ruffian and a swearing Jack
    That thinks with oaths to
face the matter out
²⁹²
.

PETRUCHIO
    Father, ’tis thus: yourself and all the world
    That talked of her, have talked amiss of her:
    If she be curst, it is for
policy
²⁹⁵
,
    For she’s not froward, but modest as the dove,
    She is not hot, but
temperate
²⁹⁷
as the morn,
    For patience she will prove a second
Grissel
²⁹⁸
,
    And Roman
Lucrece
²⁹⁹
for her chastity.
    And to conclude, we have
’greed
³⁰⁰
so well together
    That upon Sunday is the wedding day.

KATE
    I’ll see thee hanged on Sunday first.

GREMIO
    Hark, Petruchio, she says she’ll see thee hanged first.

TRANIO
    Is this your
speeding
³⁰⁴
? Nay then, goodnight our part!

PETRUCHIO
    Be patient, gentlemen, I choose her for myself.
    If she and I be pleased, what’s that to you?
    ’Tis bargained
’twixt us twain
³⁰⁷
, being alone,
    That she shall still be curst in company.
    I tell you, ’tis incredible to believe
    How much she loves me: O, the kindest Kate!
    She hung about my neck, and kiss on kiss
    She
vied
³¹²
so fast, protesting oath on oath,
    That in a
twink
³¹³
she won me to her love.
    O, you are novices! ’Tis
a world to see
³¹⁴
    How tame, when men and women are alone,
    A
meacock
³¹⁶
wretch can make the curstest shrew.
    Give me thy hand, Kate. I will unto Venice
    To buy apparel
gainst
³¹⁸
the wedding day;
    Provide the feast, father, and
bid
³¹⁹
the guests.
    I will be sure my Katherine shall be
fine
³²⁰
.

BAPTISTA
    I know not what to say, but give me your
hands.
    God send you joy, Petruchio! ’Tis a match.
GREMIO
and
TRANIO
    Amen, say we. We will be witnesses
³²¹
.

PETRUCHIO
    Father, and wife, and gentlemen, adieu.
    I will to Venice. Sunday comes
apace
³²⁵
.
    We will have rings and things and fine array,
    And kiss me, Kate, we will be married o’Sunday.

Exeunt Petruchio and Katherine
[
separately
]

GREMIO
    Was ever match
clapped up
³²⁸
so suddenly?

BAPTISTA
    Faith, gentlemen, now I play a merchant’s part,
    And venture madly on a
desperate mart
³³⁰
.

TRANIO
    
’Twas a commodity lay fretting by you
³³¹
:
    ’Twill bring you gain, or perish on the seas.

BAPTISTA
    The gain I seek is
quiet
³³³
in the match.

GREMIO
    No doubt but he hath got a
quiet catch
³³⁴
.
    But now, Baptista, to your younger daughter.
    Now is the day we long have lookèd for.
    I am your neighbour, and was suitor first.

TRANIO
    And I am one that love Bianca more
    Than words can witness, or your thoughts can guess.

GREMIO
    Youngling, thou canst not love so dear as I.

TRANIO
    Greybeard, thy love doth
freeze
³⁴¹
.

GREMIO
    But thine doth
fry
³⁴²
.
    
Skipper
³⁴³
, stand back, ’tis age that nourisheth.

TRANIO
    But youth in ladies’ eyes that flourisheth.

BAPTISTA
    Content you, gentlemen, I will
compound
³⁴⁵
this strife.
    ’Tis
deeds
³⁴⁶
must win the prize, and he of both
    That can assure my daughter greatest
dower
³⁴⁷
    Shall have my Bianca’s love.
    Say, Signior Gremio, what can you assure her?