The Time Until (25 page)

1 Year Ago (Age 19):
 
December

Once again, we’re in this park.
 
The park has taken on a completely new
meaning for us since I started the plan two years ago.
 
This is the “set in motion” phase of my plan.

This is phase three.

“So here we are again,” Sam announces as we
walk up to the park, “is this the day?” I smile a little at her cynicism.
 
She is excited about finding out and really,
really wants to know, but she’s trying to hide it under all that sarcasm.
 
I think it’s adorable.

“Let’s find out,” I answer, smiling as I pull
out the ring box.
 
Sam tries to hide her
excitement, but I can still see her bounce slightly on the balls of her feet
and the twitching of her mouth as she fights the smile.
 
Handing her the box, I watch her open it.

Once again, disappointment and relief play on
her face as she gazes at the charm bracelet in the box.
 
There are a few charms on it and each
represents something of importance.
 
I
carefully take the bracelet out of the box.

“I promise to support you in anything you wish
to do, be it skydiving or lounging at home on the couch, nothing will prevent
me from being your biggest supporter,” I promise as I slip the bracelet on her
wrist.
 
Sam stares at it for a few
moments, gently fingering the charms one at a time.
 
I clasp her hands in mine and pull them to my
chest.

“This bracelet is a physical representation of
the promise I have made to you,” I tell her as I indicate the bracelet, “a
constant reminder of how much I believe in you.” A single tear falls from her
eyes and I quickly use my finger to catch it.
 
She smiles softly at me and I feel warmer for it.

“Will you just propose already, you pansy,” she
tells me.

I smile at her annoyance and pull her into a
tight embrace.
 
Placing a soft kiss to
the top of her head, I soothingly pet her hair.

“Don’t worry,” I whisper, “soon.”

Phase
three successful

Present Day

Mary and Nate rush up to the doctor as he gets
closer.
 
Kate, Ethan, and I take up in
the rear within earshot.

“For now, we have induced a coma.” Mary whimpers
and Nate wraps his arm around her.
 
I can
see the question playing on his lips even from behind him.
 
I have the same question.

“What do you mean?” Nate asks.

The doctor takes a breath as if trying to gather
his thoughts.

“The pressure seems to be pressing on her brain.
 
She suffered a seizure from it, which in
turn, caused the cardiac arrest.
 
Without
some tests, there’s no way to be sure, but inducing a coma relieves the burden
on her and allows us time to figure it out.
 
Hopefully, it’ll only be a few days, but you have to be prepared for a
long run.
 
There have been cases that
have lasted months.” Mary’s eyes grow a little wider at that.

“For now, I want to observe her.
 
I think we’ll be ready to let visitors in a
couple of days,” the doctor finishes and we all, reluctantly, nod our
heads.
 

“What are her chances?” Nate asks, seeming to have
just thought of it.

“I won’t lie to you, the risks can be great,
especially since she’s already been in a coma for over a week,” the doctor
explains.
 
He seems tired and reluctant,
but honest.

“I have to tell you, there is a chance she might
not wake up from the coma when we do try.
 
You’ll just have to be ready for that possibility.
 
I’m sorry I can’t give you better news.” Nate
nods and the doctor excuses himself to go see about another patient.
 
I just stand there lost, not knowing where to
go or what to do.

It’s going to be a very long couple of days.

Today, we try to wake up Sam.
 
The doctors say that they like the progress
they’ve seen in her and think it’s a good time to wake her up.
 
If anything, they want to see how she’ll do
once awake.
 
Nothing is certain when it
comes to a coma and they can only really guess — educated, but still a guess —
about how she’ll recover or what kind of side effects she’ll have.

The only way to know for sure what’s going to
happen is to wake her up and see.

The last few days have been a blur of movies,
Sidetrack, sleeping, and visiting Sam — when the doctors finally allowed
us.
 
I tell her about my day and what
I’ve been up to since I last saw her.
 
She only lies there of course, but for some reason, telling her about it
makes me feel better.
 
I tell her about
the doubts and fears I have for her as well.
 
She probably knows about most of them already since she knows me so
well, but it feels good to get them out into the open.

Can I be the man she needs me to be?

Can I handle the responsibility of caring for her
if the worse is to happen?

Can I help her through the physical therapy?
 
Am I strong enough?

There are an infinite more, but I try to keep to
questions that are more general and leave the specific ones to my own thought
processes.

Nate and Mary haven’t left Sam’s side once since
the moment they were able to visit; at all times, at least one of them is with
her.
 
The doctor arranged for them to
stay in the room with her, even after visiting hours.
 
I stay with them on occasion, but I mostly
let them have their alone time with her.
 
It’s heartbreaking to see Mary with her though.

Kate and the rest of the gang have been trying to
keep me out of a funk every chance they get.
 
They’ve come and dragged me to the movies twice, Sidetrack once, and the
mall multiple times — that was Arianna, it doesn’t look like it, but she loves
the mall.
 
I appreciate all they’re doing
for me and it helps to get my mind off all that’s going on with Sam.

They’re great friends and I’m lucky to have them.

The doctor takes out a syringe and injects the
contents into the IV.

“It could take a few hours until she’s awake.”
Nobody moves
,
the doctor looks at each of us before
silently nodding his agreement and leaving the room.

Each tick of the clock seems to be going slower
and slower.
 
The room feels like it’s in
a time bubble where time has stopped moving.
 
Seconds click into minutes and the minutes turn into hours.
 
It’s nerve wracking.

The heavy feeling of hope mixed with desperation
clogs the air and weighs us all down.
 
Mary and Nate migrate to the chairs and sit down as the time drags on
and she doesn’t wake up.
 
Ethan starts
walking the room studying various random objects — the plotted
plant, the windowsill, even
the light switch under the
TV.
 
Quentin and Arianna seem content
holding onto each other and watching Ethan’s strange display of “captivity
syndrome.”
 
My parents stay close to the
Cohn’s as Jennifer hovers by me next to Sam’s side.
 
I gently hold her hand as I absent-mindedly
stroke Sam’s arm with my fingers.

It’s a calming effect to have Jennifer clasping my
hand like this.
 
I’m amazed at her strength
for a 14-year-old.
 
I’m sure she would
say it comes from Sam if I were to ask her.

“Any moment now, Al, she’s going to open her eyes,
look at you and smile the brightest smile you ever saw,” Jennifer
tells
me softly with a quick squeeze of my hand for emphasis.
 
I nod and look at Sam’s face for some sort of
sign that she’s coming around.

Nothing.

“I hope so.
 
I’d hate to think what would happen if we have to wait another two
weeks,” I comment low enough so only she can hear me, “or longer.” I shudder to
think about that last part.
 
The last two
and a half weeks has been hell and I’m not looking forward to repeating them if
I can help it.

Twelve hours of waiting starts to weigh on people,
and Mary is on the verge of cracking when the doctor comes back to check on
Sam.
 
No one moves a muscle as he
carefully lifts each eyelid and shines a light into her eyes.
 
He checks her pulse and carefully studies
each printout from each of the machines constantly monitoring her
condition.
 
One last time with the light
in her eyes to check if there is a response and he turns to us putting the
light stick away in his pocket.

“I don’t like how long it’s taking for her to come
out of this.
 
At this rate, there’s no
telling when she’ll wake up.”
 
Mary
breaks down and
bawls
into Nate’s shoulder as my mom
rubs her back.
 
I know how she feels, I
want to scream and wail at the doctor out of anguish and sorrow, not
anger.
 
My anger has been sated ever since
that fight
and near death experience in the parking
lot.
 
Something about almost dying really
calms you down, centers you to the universe if you will.
 
It makes you Zen.
 
I haven’t reached Zen though, I only feel
overwhelmed and desperate now.

No!

There is no
way I’m letting it go on longer than this has already gone on.