The Trials of the Honorable F. Darcy (27 page)

***

Elizabeth drove to Darcy’s building the next night at seven. The doorman recognized her and smiled at her as he let her into the lobby. Elizabeth punched the elevator button and glided gently up to the 21st floor. She rang the doorbell. Darcy opened the door; he had the phone to his ear but was not talking. He was nodding and smiled at her as he let her in.

“Yes, I understand. I will,” he said into the phone. “I
...”
he began but was cut off. A few seconds later, he said “Yes, I will.” He looked at Elizabeth in exasperation and rolled his eyes. He picked up his keys from the counter and dropped them into his pocket. He firmly interrupted the voice at the other end mid-sentence.

“
Caroline
, I have to go. We’ll talk tomorrow,” he said. He hung up the phone and tossed it on a chair.

Elizabeth had intended to kiss him but at the mention of Caroline’s name, she had lost her nerve.

Darcy saw the shift in her expression at Caroline’s name; it had gone from anticipation to disappointment. He felt terrible. He shouldn’t lead her on like this, there was no doubt in his mind that this was going to end badly if he didn’t come clean soon. But on the other hand, he was enjoying her attentiveness. It was such a pleasant change from the two weeks they had spent after returning from England when she refused to even speak to him.

They had a cozy dinner at a quiet restaurant overlooking the city lights. Elizabeth seemed at a loss for conversation; Darcy picked up the slack by asking her about her progress at the new office. It was already the second week of September and she had been able to hire two attorneys. She was already beginning to train them. The staff was all in place. She hoped to be able to come back by the first week of October, a full month early, if she were able to hire some experienced attorneys to help her with the training.

After she told him about work, she fell into another silence.

“You look lovely tonight,” he said quietly to her, touching her hand. It was a small scrap to her and she latched onto it. She felt tears sting her eyes and looked away. “What is it?” he asked, concerned. He slid closer to her and rubbed his thumb across her fingers. She shook her head and laughed a little.

“Nothing, sorry. Thanks.” She blinked the tears back. “Can I see you next Saturday night?” she asked.

He pulled his hand away. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth, I’m busy next Saturday. I can’t get out of it.”

“Caroline?” she asked. She put her hands in her lap and squeezed them together.

“Yes, but it’s not a date. It’s a charity event, I promised to help. I can’t get out of it. I can see you on either Friday or Sunday, though,” he offered.

She shook her head. She wouldn’t accept crumbs from him, she wouldn’t schedule around his other girlfriend. He was going to have to make a choice.

“I’m sorry. I really am,” he said, blissfully unaware of her train of thought.

Elizabeth looked away. He didn’t invite her to the charity event, probably because Caroline would be there. She would ask Jane about it; she was sure Bingley would know something.

The rest of the dinner passed with Elizabeth sulking and Darcy feeling like a heel. He tried to make small talk again but she wasn’t responsive. He paid the bill and drove them back to his building, remembering another car ride when she had put his hand on her chest and nibbled his ear.

“Elizabeth. Lizzy. I’m sorry about next week,” he said, squeezing her hand. She pulled it away from him. It was the first time he had called her Lizzy in ages. It gave her little shivers. He wasn’t p
laying fair by pulling out the ‘
Lizzy
’
card.

She didn’t answer his apology.

He parked the car. “Will you come up?” he asked her.

She shook her head. “No, I’m going home.” They got out of the car and he walked her to her own. He took her hand and kissed her fingers softly.

“Drive safely, OK?” he said. She nodded. The familiar sensation of intoxication was beginning to come over her, as it always did when he was this near. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself in his arms but she couldn’t do it yet. The specter of Caroline was still too heavy on her.

Why is he doing this?
she thought.
He told me his feelings were unchanged, that I needed to make mine known to him. How can I do that when he’s seeing
her?

Darcy sensed that she was very, very hurt by his commitment to Caroline for next Saturday. After all he had done to play up his relationship with Caroline as something romantic, he couldn’t blame her. He sighed deeply. All of this would be resolved if they could just have some time, one night, together. He’d show her how much he loved her but he wanted her to make the first move. She wasn’t doing it.

He dropped her hand. She swallowed and hastily got into her car. He waved as she drove away.

When she got back to the house, she found Jane and Bingley watching TV.
And now the brother
, she thought angrily.
Am I to be overrun by
Bingley’s
?
She said a brief goodnight and went upstairs to pack her things and undress for bed. A few minutes later Jane was knocking on her door. Elizabeth opened the door for her.

“What happened?” Jane asked.

“He’s still dating your fiancé’s sister,” she replied bitterly. Jane frowned and looked worried. This was becoming very, very complicated.

“Elizabeth, I’m sure it’s nothing serious. Charley told me that she’s been chasing him for years and Darcy was never interested.”

“He seems to have changed his mind.”

Jane sighed miserably. She did not like this conflict. She thought maybe Darcy was seeing Caroline just to make Elizabeth jealous but she had no proof of that other than her own observations that Darcy did not appear to return Caroline’s affection.

“What is this charity thing going on next week?” Elizabeth asked.

“It’s a bachelor auction. Bingley pulled out because we’re engaged, so Darcy stepped in for him.”

“How is Caroline involved?”

“She helped organized the auction and convinced Darcy to step in.”

“Will she be there?”

“Probably.”

Elizabeth fell silent. She was irrationally angry at Jane because Bingley’s sister was making her, Elizabeth, unhappy. She didn’t want to talk to Jane anymore. After she refused to respond to Jane’s comments, Jane unhappily left. She went downstairs and took her unhappiness out on Bingley by giving him the cold shoulder. Bingley silently cursed Darcy, Caroline, and Elizabeth. He cursed Georgiana too, for good measure.

Elizabeth fumed and finished packing. She pulled out the shirt that she slept in every single night: Darcy’s shirt. It no longer smelled like him but it still gave her some comfort. She put it on and slipped into bed.

***

Elizabeth was pretty unhappy when she called Darcy Monday night.

“Why are you still seeing her?” she asked. He thought maybe she was crying, although he didn’t hear her sniffing.

“I
...
it’s complicated,” he said weakly. She rolled her eyes.

“No, it’s not. Either you want to be with me or you want to be with her. You can’t be with both of us. You told me that your feelings haven’t changed and that you need to be certain of mine but you’re still seeing her. How does that reflect on your feelings about me? Was this how you always felt? Am I a little something on the side?”

“No!” he exclaimed, alarmed. He ran a hand through his hair.

“You’ve got a fine way of showing it!” she retorted.

His temper flared and he completely failed to see that
this
was the moment he had been waiting for, the move on her part to force action. He had always anticipated it would be something more romantic.

“You’re the one who ran away to ‘figure things out!’ I threw myself at you over and over again and you rejected me!” he exclaimed hotly.

“That’s not true! You knew why I left, it was too intense and it was
wrong
. You seem to think it was just fine to break the rules.”

“I did not! I was trying to find a way to work it out before you ran away!”

He was shouting at her now, his breathing coming hard.

“You can’t have it both ways. You have to make a choice,” she said bluntly. Then she hung up on him.

***

Darcy argued with Caroline Tuesday night.

“It’s too much, Caroline, I’m hurting her.”

“Of course you are, she needs to feel the pain of not having you before she will make her move. I’m telling you, Darcy, this
will
work.”

“No, I’m not doing it anymore. I’m calling her.” He was pacing in his living room while Caroline lounged on his couch. She draped an arm lazily over the back of the couch and stretched.

“You can’t tell her, Will. If you do, she will just be mad and you will push her further away, especially if you do it over the phone.” She put her thumb and pinky to her head, mimicking a telephone. “Hi, Elizabeth? Just wanted to tell you that I’ve been faking it with Caroline to make you jealous but I want you to come back to me now. What’s that? I’m a fucker? And you never want to see my big stupid head again? Alrighty then. Buh-bye.”

Darcy bit his thumbnail and looked at her. She laughed; he was clearly desperate to get out of this bind. She had never seen him so anxious and she found it quite amusing. She hadn’t conquered him in romance but she felt like she was pretty effectively pulling his strings now. But in all honesty, she was trying to help him. He was just so completely clueless!

“By the way, you really need a haircut. Please get one before the auction.”

***

Elizabeth’s cell phone rang. The picture ID showed a tiara.

“How did it go?” Lou asked.

“I’ve given him an ultimatum: her or me,” she said.

“Ouch. That’s a risky move, have you thought out the strategy completely?” he asked.

“Strategy? What the fuck are you talking about? This isn’t chess!” she said angrily.

“No, it’s Survivor and you are trying to get him to vote Caroline off the island but you have to be careful that he doesn’t begin to find you more annoying than her.”

“Do you know anything about the Pediatric AIDS Foundation bachelor auction this Saturday?” she said shortly.

“Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m involved in every AIDS charity,” he laughed.

“I need a ticket, I thought you might know somebody. Will’s a bachelor in the auction,” she mumbled apologetically.

“
What?
He’s selling himself? Do you think I could bid? I think he’s yummy.”

“Yes, he is. He’s got a little bit of a buttery taste,” she said shamelessly. “Now, do you know anyone?”

“I’ll call around.”

Elizabeth was hurt by Darcy’s actions but she was willing to make one last effort to show him how she felt. She liquidated her savings, investments, and 401(k). With $60,000 at the auction, she was confident that she could bid on him and win. She didn’t tell him that she would be there. If it didn’t work, she would get on the plane to San Diego and not come back. She would not return to practice before him if he rejected her; she would ask for a permanent transfer to San Diego.

Elizabeth flew in Saturday afternoon, with her return flight scheduled just hours later. The auction was set to begin at six. Her return flight was at nine thirty. She did not meet with Jane or Lou. As far as she was concerned, this was a business meeting. Either she and Darcy closed the deal or they didn’t. She nervously checked her appearance in the rearview mirror of her car and steered toward the luxury hotel where the auction was being held. She entered the ballroom and took her bidding paddle and stood near a banquet table by the wall.

She suffered through the auction of a hockey player, a newscaster, a doctor and several others while waiting for Darcy’s number to come up. She sipped a glass of wine but did not taste it. The emcee was a local radio personality who was grating on Elizabeth’s nerves. The crowd was rowdier than she expected and seemed to be verging on breaking into a bachelorette party.

Finally, Darcy’s number came up. The emcee introduced
him over the opening beats of ‘
I Like the Way
’
by the Body Rockers.

“Our next bachelor is Fitzwilliam Darcy, a circuit judge here in Meryton. Judge Darcy was born and raised in England, and came to California several years ago to open an office for his international law firm. He was later appointed to superior court circuit judge by the governor. He is the youngest judge ever to be appointed in the county.”

“Will, please come on out so we can get a good look at you,” she said. He came out wearing his judge’s robe. The ladies booed loudly.

“Will is 36 years old, stands six foot four, weighs in at a svelte 210 pounds, and has beautiful green eyes. Oh! He looks even better close up than he does in our catalogue!” she tittered. There were some cheers and Darcy smiled.

“Will’s hobbies are playing guitar, riding horses, fencing, and riding motorcycles. You may also be interested to know that he was a semi-professional race car driver while he was in college. He lives in the fast lane, ladies!” There was more cheering.

“Judge Darcy, if you could just show us your legal briefs?” the emcee shouted into the microphone. A swell of cheers went up and Judge Darcy obliged by pulling his robe apart and dropping it to the floor.

Elizabeth gasped. This was undoubtedly Caroline’s doing. He was in a black t-shirt that showed his broad shoulders and slender waist. His jeans were low-slung and clung seductively to his narrow hips and strong thighs and draped over his motorcycle boots. His hair was cut shorter and was mussed and s
piky; his whole image screamed ‘
bad boy.
’
He slipped on a pair of sunglasses to complete the look. He held out his arms as if to say “how do I look?”

“Can we start the bidding at $1,000?” the emcee shouted. Elizabeth’s mouth went dry. The bidding quickly escalated to $10,000, and soon died down to about five women determined to have a date with him. Elizabeth put in her first bid at $11,000. Darcy was focused only on Caroline in the audience; they had agreed he would signal her if he wanted her to bid up. He nodded to Caroline and the bid went up to $15,000. Another bid pushed it to $16,000. Elizabeth bid again. She was conscious that she was bidding away all her savings and was now tapping into her investments. It was worth it to her.

Darcy grinned and made a gesture
to the audience, as if to say ‘
more money, more money.
’
He leaned over to the emcee’s microphone and said, “Come on, ladies, it’s for a good cause. Have pity on me and take me out on a date!” His strong lilting accent sent shivers down Elizabeth’s spine.

The emcee grinned and said “Well, girls, you could hear that lovely accent aaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll night long! Get out your checkbooks!”

“Twenty thousand!” Elizabeth bid. Darcy looked out and saw her. He pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head.
What the hell is she doing here?

“Twenty-five,” came another bid. Elizabeth looked over and saw Janelle from the park.
Damn her
.

“Thirty!” Elizabeth called. Darcy looked at Caroline.

“Thirty five,” bid Caroline.

“Thirty seven,” bid the blonde.

“Thirty eight,” bid Elizabeth.

“Forty,” bid Caroline.

“Forty two,” bid the blonde.

“Forty five,” bid Elizabeth.

“Fifty,” bid Caroline.

“Fifty two,” bid Elizabeth. Everyone looked at the blond but she shook her head. Darcy looked at Caroline.

“Fifty five,” bid Caroline.

“Fifty seven!” shouted Elizabeth. Darcy nodded to Caroline.
He was telling Caroline to
outbid
her!

“Fifty nine.”

“Sixty.” That was it, she would be emptying everything with this bid. Darcy nodded at Caroline.

“Sixty one,” bid Caroline. The emcee looked at Elizabeth. She shook her head and threw her paddle down.

“Sold for sixty one thousand dollars to our own Caroline Bingley. I think that’s a record, Judge Darcy! You better make it worth Caroline’s while! And Caroline, that better not be coming out of our fund!” she teased.

Darcy saw Elizabeth throw down the paddle and look once at him, then push toward the exit. He walked off stage as calmly as he could and then ran to the hall to look for Elizabeth. He did not see her. He ran outside to the parking lot and saw her car pulling out of a spot. He ran out in front of her car and held his hands up.

“
Stop
!” he shouted. He saw her face. She was not crying; she looked like she wanted to stomp on the gas and mow him over. Instead she got out of the car and slammed the door
-
really,
really
hard
-
and marched toward him.

Although he saw her twist at the waist, he was not expecting the slap she dealt him across the face with all of her might. His head jerked to the side; he literally saw stars. He blinked in dazed astonishment for a moment, his hand touching his flaming cheek.
Christ that hurt
! he thought somewhere in his befuddled mind.

“
Is that your choice
?” she shouted at him. She had never been so livid in her entire life; she was embarrassed, furious, and above all,
hurt
. She wanted to hit him again and again, to give him some semblance of the torture he had just inflicted on her.

Darcy shook his head to clear it. Her furious, shaking form came into focus before him.

“Elizabeth, calm down,” he said, putting his hands on her arms. She threw her arms up, flinging his hands off her.

“You
Motherfucker
! I can’t believe you!” she yelled. She was shaking uncontrollably and her palm hurt fiercely from slapping him. “You tell me
I
have to chase
you
! Did you have fun watching me? Did you and Caroline laugh at me over breakfast every morning?”

“
Stop
! Listen to me!” he grabbed her by the arms again and shook her once. She was beyond reason. “I am not, and
never was
, seeing her.”

“You are so full of
shit
!” she yelled.

“I am not
lying
to you!” he yelled back.

“You
told
her to out-bid me!” she cried.

“Of
course
I did! That has to be your life savings! I couldn’t have you spend that kind of money over this stupid,
stupid game
!”

He dropped his hands from her arms and clutched his head in frustration. Both were breathing hard.

“I hate you,” she said hotly. He threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.

“What’s new, Elizabeth? I can’t do anything right with you! I try to see you and you refuse. I tell you I love you and you move to San Diego. I play hard to get and you don’t even try. I keep you from throwing away your life savings and you tell me you hate me. You give me every reason to think you don’t love me and then you freak out when you see me with someone else. What do you want me to do? I don’t know what to do anymore! Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it!” he shouted at her. He put his hands on his hips and shook his head, pacing to regain his temper.

She took a moment to try to calm down, to hear what he was saying.

“Lizzy,” he began. She shot him a look that pierced him like an arrow. “Elizabeth,” he started again. “I am not seeing her. She is nothing more than a friend. I swear it on my mother’s grave.”

She sat on the hood of her car and rested her elbows on her knees; then she put her face in her hands and started to sob. He had never seen her cry, really cry as if her soul were being wrenched out of her, as she was now. His heart thudded in his chest; he wanted to cradle her into his arms and comfort her. He squatted before her and put his hands on her knees and said to her quietly,

“Lizzy, I
love
you. There’s no one else. I am yours, if you would just open your eyes and see it.” He stopped and put one fist to his mouth, pausing to temper his emotions. After a moment, he put his hand back on her knee. “This has to stop. Either we go forward together or we end it for good. Neither of us can bear any more heartbreak.”

She nodded, still crying. She wiped her eyes and nose on her sleeve; he gave her a handkerchief and she laughed slightly. She blew her nose in it and then handed it back to hi
m. He held up a hand and said, ‘
keep it.
’
She laughed again. He sat on the hood next to her and put his arm around her waist. She leaned her head against his shoulder. They sat like that for some time, heedless of the cars that drove around them beeping their horns. He kissed her on the top of the head.

“What will it be?” he asked quietly. She said nothing. Her nerves were jangling; she felt as if she had been scraped over a cheese grater. She still felt raw and furious but, after all, she had come here to make a final effort to win him back. Now was not the time to try; she couldn’t think straight. Rather than answer him, she said quietly,
“I have to go.”

He sighed. He stood and pulled her up from the car hood. She was running again. He didn’t think it would be wise to try to stop her right now. At least she hadn’t said it was over.

“Have a good flight,” he said softly, cupping her face with his hands. They kissed, parted, kissed again, and repeated it several times. Finally, he pulled away and said thickly, “Go on, don’t miss your flight.” He watched as she climbed into her car and drove away. He made his way back into the auction where he met with Caroline and paid off her bid. This auction had been too costly; not only had he seriously jeopardized everything but he had also promised to match the winning bid.