The Truth About Love (11 page)

“Well, he’s in the back of a police car.  They have him cuffed.  He’s calm and talking to them.” She spoke as though this were the most normal thing in the world.

The picture created in my mind hurt my heart.  No wonder I found myself bursting into tears yet again.  Before this, I never would’ve labeled myself as the overly emotional type.  Although I am sure Shane would have argued.  

“So, I’m going to bed.  We’ll talk in the morning.”  Then she hung up.

After the call ended, I found myself curled up on the floor with Kylie.  She was sound asleep, blissfully unaware of the drama unfolding around her.  I could feel Lily and Lyle staring at me as tears dripped down my face.

“He’s in a police car.  He’s going to jail,” I explained.  

“He should.  He disobeyed the order,” Lily noted.  

I lay there quietly, thinking. 
I bet he hates me.  I bet he thinks I tried to steal his house.  I bet he thinks I’m thrilled he’s going to jail.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  All of it.  I know he’s done some terrible things lately, but he’s still my husband.  I hate this so much.

They didn’t really know what to say.  Who can blame them?  It’s not like Hallmark makes a card for this, which is strange because their ‘Sorry Your Husband Lost His Damn Mind’ line could be huge.  After about ten minutes of silence, I had dried my eyes and immersed myself in my online world.  Speaking quietly, Lily tried one last time to cheer me up on her way to bed.

“Don’t worry, Nina-banina,” she murmured.  “I still love you.”  

I gazed up at her for a moment, tried really hard to smile, but in the end merely nodded while tears filled my eyes.  She looked totally exhausted and yet she was still determined to cheer me up.  Man, I love her.  I really have the best friends.  Finally, I was alone in the living room, waiting to see if the phone would ring, if anyone were going to let me know what was going on with Shane.  When a call never came, I resorted to the Internet.  The laptop was opened to the Sheriff website.  I had typed in Shane’s name in the arrest inquiry and kept refreshing it to see if he was in jail.  Somehow, after hours of it, I managed to fall asleep.

The moment the sun began to stream through the filmy curtains, I woke up and reached for my laptop and my cell phone.  I had to know what happened last night after I fell asleep.  Sure enough, I had missed a phone call at 1:30am from a number remarkably similar to the other officer phone numbers.  Despite calling it back right away at six in the morning, no one answered.

After logging into the laptop once more, and refreshing the pages, I had my answer.  In bright blue letters on a plain black screen was Shane’s name.  Once I clicked on it, his mugshot appeared.  The first thing I noticed was he was dressed out in the orange jail scrubs.  The way his jaw jutted out in defiance was the second. His eyes were cold and angry.  Burying my face in my hands, I rocked back and forth for a moment.  

Day after day, I wondered
how did we get here?  
This was crazy.  I didn’t know what to do any more.  According to the site, he was still in jail.  He had a hearing at nine in the morning for bail.  So, I had to put my plans on steroids.  

Lily wandered out into the living room with Isaac before I even made it off the floor.  Pointing to the laptop, I showed her the picture.

“Oh, man,” she moaned.  That pretty much summed it up.  Then she asked the question I had no answer for.
  “
What are you going to do?  Are we still on for meeting at the house and lunch?”

“Yeah.  Thank you.”

This part couldn’t change.  Still, it wasn’t safe for me to be at the house any length of time.  He could, theoretically, make bail and try to return before then.  My guess would be a night in jail had only given him time to ruminate on how horrible I am.  He could be seething.  I just couldn’t take a chance.

“You could go be with Julia now,” Lily suggested.

“No.  She’s out of town at a conference I was supposed to attend.  Crap.  I forgot.  I have to cancel that now too. Would you believe I was supposed to speak?  You know, because I’m so wildly successful.”  A mirthless laugh escaped my lips.
 
Before we could speak further, my phone began to ring bringing a slight smile to my face.  What would I do without my daily check in from Jules?  

“Morning, sunshine.”  I greeted her.
 
The words were spoken even as I recognized how sad they sounded.

“So what happened?”   

“He’s in jail.  I can’t believe it, but he is.”  I curled a fist under my chin and balanced my head on it as I sat on the floor.

“What are you going to do?  You can’t go back there.  You can’t stay there.”  She sounded panicked.

“I know.  I don’t plan to stay, but I do have to get some things...things Kylie needs, things I need, and items I plan to sell fast to get some cash.”  I inhaled deeply to stay calm.

“I don’t like it.”  She announced.

“What are my options?” 

She growled.  “He could get out any time.”

“His bond hearing is at 9 am.  He won’t make it back to the jail until after noon.  Then he’ll have to find someone to bail him out.  I have time.  Not a lot, but enough.”  As we talked, I stood and started gathering my things, hoping I could pack some before Kylie woke.

“I think you need to call Victim’s Assistance and the DA to make sure they know what’s going on.  Do it fast,” Julia suggested.  “It’s already after 8am.”

“
Okay.  Consider it done.  I’ll call you when I’m driving back to the house to let you know what’s going on.” 

“I love you.”  She sounded so sad as she spoke, as though this would be our final goodbye.  I hated it.

“Love you back.”  We ended the call, and then I gave my still sleeping Kylie a light kiss before I walked out the back door to my vehicle.

When I returned I phoned Victim’s Assistance first.  It made sense to me, since I knew what to say to them and they could tell me what I should say to the DA.
  “
Is Paula in?”  I wrapped my arms around my body as I spoke in an effort to soothe my nerves.  “It’s Nina Powers.  We spoke Tuesday.”

“No, she’s headed to court this morning,” the receptionist responded mechanically.

“Okay.  Is there anyone I can speak with?”   I sighed as I prepared to explain my struggle.  “Yesterday, I was granted an Order of Protection and my husband violated it within an hour of being served.  He’s currently in jail awaiting a bond hearing this morning.  I just...well, I don’t know what to do.”

I could hear the click of the door opening on the other side of the phone.  The receptionist perked up.  “Oh, just a minute.  You’re lucky.  She just walked back in the office.  Let me tell her you are on the line.”

Moments later, a voice I recognized as Paula’s spoke to me.
  “
Nina, what happened?”

It only took a moment for me to brief her on the events of the previous evening and arrive at the more pressing issue.  “So what should I do?”

“Let me look him up.”  There was the clicking sound of her fingers keying in Shane’s information before she spoke again.
  “
The look on his face...it’s defiance.  Nina, you are married to the most dangerous kind of abuser there is.  I’ve seen it before.  He will just keep coming. Don’t go back.  Don’t stay in that house.”  Her voice grew even more serious.  “You take that baby and you go far away until the court hearing.  Then after the hearing, you will definitely get the year long Order of Protection.  Go wherever you want.  Start fresh.  Just stay safe, you and that precious child of yours.”

My heart sank as she spoke.  Though it should’ve meant hope, happiness and the promise of a bright new future, I was in mourning for the shattered dreams, the plans that would never come to fruition, the life changed forever.  I was silent for a moment before I spoke.  Even then, my words were barely more than a whisper.
  “
I have to get some supplies from the house while he’s still in jail.  I wish there was a way to know if he was released.  I can’t keep checking every five minutes.  This is no way to live.” 

“Now, the website updates instantly, but there is the Vine system.  You should register for that right away,” Paula urged.  “The phone number is on the purple card the police gave you.  They will let you know if he’s released.  It isn’t as fast, sometimes it takes a good twenty minutes, but it’s better than sitting in front of your computer all day.  Now hurry.”

I nodded my head even as I realized she couldn’t see me.  I felt numb.  “Okay, I understand.  Thank you for speaking with me.  Apparently, I need to go get everything taken care of before he is released.”

Over the phone I caught the sound of her chair creaking as she leaned back.  “In a year, you are going to be in a much different place.  Don’t worry.  You’ll be fine.  Take care.”

The call ended and I turned my attention to finding the number for the DA.  The closer it came to nine in the morning, the less likely that I would reach anyone.  They would all be in court.  Sure enough, when I finally was connected, I was told to leave a message for the DA.  I wasn’t sure what to say, so I simply spoke from my heart.
  “
Hello, I’m calling regarding Shane Powers.  He’s currently in jail for breaking an Order of Protection.”  It took me a moment to read off the lengthy case number and share his jail ID number.  
“
I’m concerned, not for me, but for him.  This isn’t the man I married.  I asked that he have a mental health evaluation.  Can that be done, please?  And I’d like to make sure he’s getting his medication.”

After leaving my return phone number, I ended the call.  Picking up the purple card, I made my next phone call.  The automated system walked me through the Vine registration process and even updated me on his current status.  

I’d accomplished all I could at the moment besides getting ready and packing up to vacate Lily’s home.  When she and Lyle walked out with Isaac, ready to go their separate directions to work, we spoke.
  “
I guess I’ll meet you at the house.  I need to be there as soon as possible.”

“Have you decided where you are going from here?”  Her brow wrinkled in worry.

“Oh, shoot!  I forgot to contact Grace.  I better do that right away.”

As soon as they walked out the door, I called my best friend of twenty years.  After the first ring, she picked up.  “Hey, I’m working from home today.  What’s up?” Grace always sounded so relaxed and happy.

“Is there any chance I can spend a week with you...maybe less?”  I bit my lower lip and waited.

“What’s going on?”  I heard her feet hit the hardwoods and knew she had stood as we spoke.

“Oh, Shane lost it.  I had to call the police.  I’ve been staying with Lily.  I have custody of Kylie and the vehicle...not to mention a house I can’t stay in because he already broke the Order of Protection and is currently in jail.”  I took a breath before continuing.  “Of course, he could make bail any time and I was advised to go far far away until the hearing on the 24
th
.  So, can I stay with you?”

She sighed heavily.  “Well, you know I would love to have you.  Let me just make sure it’s okay with Henry.  I’m sure it will be, but we always check with each other.  You know how it is…”
 
Her voice trailed off.
  “
I’ll call you back as soon as we talk.  When would you get here?”

It took me a moment to calculate how long it would take me to run all my errands and drive there.  “Oh, sometime after dinner tonight, so don’t worry about feeding me.”

Her voice grew serious.  “Do you need money, Nina?  You know I’m more than happy to help.”

“Nope.  I’m good,” I lied.  Pride had me refusing financial assistance for as long as possible.

“Okay.”  She sounded doubtful.  “You let me know if you change your mind.  And we’ll talk soon.”

We said our goodbyes and I turned my attention to my daughter.  She had woken and needed to be fed, so I hooked up her tubing and started her pump while I packed.  My little one was being so good.  As long as she had mommy and Sprout TV, she was happy.  As soon as her feed finished, I dressed her and brought her into the bathroom.  Originally, I planned to take a shower.  That was my thing...daily showers.  I did some of my best thinking in there.  Yet today, as I saw how close it was to ten in the morning, I realized I’d run out of time.
Instead, I opted for the last resort whore bath.  

As I finished loading the vehicle, I remembered Kylie would need meds refilled before we left the area.  Before I could forget, I called the hospital since the meds Kylie needed could only be made at a compounding pharmacy.  They had to be made on site, which couldn’t be accomplished hardly anywhere.  Every time I needed a refill, I had to run to uptown Charlotte, at least thirty minutes away.  Finally, the vehicle was completely loaded and we were on our way.  We couldn’t have been more than halfway home before Grace called back.  

“It’s fine!”  She announced in her singsong voice.  “Henry looks forward to meeting Kylie.  Just one question...he won’t be able to find you, will he?”

I answered quickly, without giving it a moment’s consideration.
  “
No.  He won’t.  I’ve been in town, staying with Lily and he hasn’t ventured over here.”

“Whew! Just wanted to be sure.”

“No worries.”
 
Still, after we hung up, I might have worried a little.  It was time to protect Kylie.  

When I pulled into the neighborhood, I parked in Pilar’s driveway.  Kylie was asleep in her car seat and I knew it would be easier to pack if she wasn’t with me.

Pilar met me at the door.
  “
Oh!  You’re back!”

Shaking my head, I frowned.  “No.  Just packing.  Could Kylie stay with you?  She’s asleep.”

“Of course!”  She glanced at the clock on the wall near the door.  “I only have an hour though before I have to leave.”

“I’ll be quick as I can.  Thank you.”

Then I went back to the vehicle, gently removed Kylie from her car seat, carried her in, and laid her on the couch.  After giving her forehead a light kiss, I walked over to the house that just four days before had been my home.  It felt so foreign to me, being there, the circumstances.  I couldn’t imagine living there again.  

The front door was unlocked, all the lights in the house were on, and nothing under the sun could have caused me to linger.  As I glanced around the house, trying to get the lay of the land, so to speak, I took note of any changes.  First, he had taken the time to sweep.  The glass had been mostly picked up.  The offending wedding frame from Grace was in the garage with a pile of garbage, which included the broken IV pole and a box of broken glass. None of the holes had been repaired, despite his lofty claims about how he’d repair them the next day when he’d spoken to the police.  

The more I moved about the house, the more I became aware of an overwhelming sadness gripping me.  More than that, there was a discomfort which had taken hold and maybe even a healthy amount of fear. Shane had completely snapped days ago.  I couldn’t imagine what he would be like after a night in jail and I sure as hell didn’t want to find out.  Determined to leave as quickly as possible, I grabbed some of the empty diaper boxes we had set aside to store and pack away Kylie’s clothes as she outgrew them.   I emptied the cupboards of all the foods Shane wouldn’t eat.  In the master bathroom, I removed all my toiletries.  Blankets and comforters I had purchased or brought into the relationship were folded and piled.  The last of my bags were filled with all kinds of random possessions.  It didn’t take long.