The Twelve Dates of Christmas (17 page)

Claudia slid in next to him. ‘I have to ask you something. Are you nervous at all?’

‘Nervous? Of you? You’re not scary.’

‘Of … us. Of our first date. Of things to come.’

‘I’m not nervous.’

Claudia took a breath and whooshed away. She skated as fast as she could, ducking, spinning, unable to keep the smile from her face. The booming bass of the pumped-out Christmas music reverberated through her, and though it wasn’t traditional dance, in her heart she was dancing like no one was watching. On the ice she was free, and couldn’t remember being this happy.

The rush gave her cheeks a glow and a confidence she’d all but lost recently. She whizzed close to Nick, pulled off a mitten and trickled fingertips down his arm as she passed. He tried to grab her but missed.

She circled him and took his hands, spinning him in a small circle with her. She tilted up her chin until their lips were close, then she spun him hard and he whirled around, laughing.

‘You’re killing me, woman.’

‘You said you chased me for years, you can’t handle a little longer?’

‘No. Come here and kiss me.’

‘Nope. What, do you think you can stop trying now you’ve got me on a date?’

‘I’ve got you on four dates, five if you count the dinner when Penny showed up. So yeah, I think I’ve put in all the effort I need to.’

Claudia laughed just as the voices of Tom Jones and Cerys Matthews rang out across the rink. Nick was improving, and the two of them skated laps, bellowing the words to ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ to each other in their loudest, most God-awful singing voices.

‘You,’ Claudia panted, as they swirled to a stop in the centre of the rink. ‘You make me happy.’

‘You’re all right, too.’ Nick put his arms around Claudia,
causing her legs to wobble.

‘Excuse me, I thought we said no kissing on the first date,’ she whispered.

He moved closer and her legs gave way. She stumbled on the spot and Nick held her tight. ‘You know we’ll both go if you do,’ he said.

She just needed a few more minutes to prepare, this was a
big deal
. She ducked and slid out from under his arms and skated away.

‘Don’t make me throw you down and do you right here, because I will and its cold, and the ice’ll make your hair frizz up like you hate,’ Nick yelled, following her.

Claudia took a deep breath. Time to stop being a chicken. This was going to happen. She was dying for it to happen. She stopped and spun round.

Splat.

Nick hurtled into her and they both sprawled on the ice. Nick lay on top of her, simultaneously laughing hysterically and screaming in agony, pointing at his leg. ‘Pulled … muscle … can’t move … owwwww.’

Claudia laughed and shrieked under the weight of him.

‘Hey – get off that girl!’ she heard someone shout. ‘I heard him threaten her – he said he was going to throw her down.’

Claudia turned her head but couldn’t see through her blurry tears of laughter and couldn’t force any words through her guffaws.

Nick was trying to prop himself up on his elbows to take the weight off her, but they kept slipping on the ice, slamming his body back down and only making their laughing fit worse.

Suddenly she was released as Nick was hauled off her by two men in red jackets. She lay panting, staring at the sky. Well that wasn’t how she’d expected her first experience of Nick on top of her to be. She kind of liked it, though.

She sat up, waving away the hands that reached for her. She turned her head to see Nick getting a stern telling-off from the stewards outside the rink. He was gesticulating wildly, his face flushed, whilst trying to shake the pain from his leg.

As she got her breath back, the ice soaking through her jeans to her knickers, she saw two police officers approach Nick. What was going on over there?

Oh no. They each took one of Nick’s arms and started leading him away. ‘Where are you taking him?’ she called. They didn’t hear. Nick looked back at her.

She struggled to push herself up, but the second she dug the blade of the skate into the ice a shooting pain burst from her ankle and sent darts up her leg that brought tears to her eyes. Her old injury.

Nick was being taken away by the police;
she had to do something.

But the pain was
intense
.

Claudia couldn’t get up.

Claudia leaned against the crutches, tittering to herself. Any minute now, any minute …

The doors to the police station opened and out Nick sauntered, rubbing his eyes, his T-shirt crumpled and his bare arms looking very sorrowful in the late-afternoon shade. She hopped forward. ‘Nick—’

‘Whoa – what did I do to you?’ He raced over, mortified.

‘I think it’s broken,’ she squeaked, her eyes beginning to water with the pressure of trying not to laugh. Nick dropped to the snowy ground and tenderly held her foot like Prince Charming.

She burst, a huge ‘PAH-HA-HA’ escaping her. She was crap at playing tricks. ‘I’m sorry, it was a joke, I don’t need these at all.’ She put the crutches down, mopping her eyes. God, she was funny.

‘What? So you’re okay?’

‘I’m fine.’

‘But you’re not standing properly. Did I hurt you?’

‘Nope, nothing more than a mild sprain, as confirmed by medical professionals.’

‘I don’t understand what’s going on! How the world has changed since I’ve been in the slammer.’ Nick scratched his head. ‘Why did they give you crutches?’

‘They didn’t, Penny had these lying around. I thought I’d trick you.’

‘Penny is such a hoarder, and you’re such a wannabe Ashton Kutcher, but you always laugh three seconds into a prank. Is the ankle support fake?’

‘No, that’s real, but honestly it’s no big deal.’

‘I am a crap date. I’m really sorry.’

‘Stop it, I had the best time.’ Despite everything, she really had. When she
couldn’t get up there’d been a whole commotion of stewards and burly men who’d helped her off the ice, and after a little flexing and a quick check by a first-aider, followed by a very unflattering amount of cankle-swellage, Claudia had been sent on her way. But not before she demanded to know where Nick had been taken.

She’d called the police station, insisted that of course she wasn’t about to press charges, and they’d told her he was being held but would be out later that afternoon. She’d hobbled her way over and waited, and Nick had called her about five minutes ago to say he was on his way out.

‘I’m going to make it up to you,’ said Nick. ‘Tomorrow night let’s do something much more low key and I will treat you like a princess. No, better, because that’s a bit cheesy. Like one of those queens that people carry about in the air. No! Like a Christmas fairy. No …’

‘Treat me like you did this morning, I liked it. I don’t mind a little rough and tumble.’

‘Good to know.’

Claudia reached into her bag. ‘I brought you a jumper.’

He unravelled the bundle to reveal a large black hoodie with ‘Fat Willy’s Surf Shack, Newquay’ emblazoned on the front in neon letters. ‘Claud, this is obviously a big stinking man’s jumper. I can’t wear Seth’s old shit, it’s too weird.’

‘Hey, that’s
my
hoodie. Shut up and put it on or I’ll march you straight back into that station. So what happened with the police?’

‘Well,’ said Nick, pulling on the hoodie, ‘prepare to go weak at the knees because you’re now dating a member of the criminal underworld.’

‘They didn’t
arrest
you? You didn’t do anything!’

‘Okay, they didn’t arrest me, but I did get a caution.’

‘For what?’

Nick smiled sheepishly. ‘Threatening behaviour, assault and, um, indecency in a public place.’

‘What?’ This was bad. But also just a little bit funny.

‘Threatening behaviour because some bloke heard me yell that I was going to throw you down. I promise that was a joke.’

‘I know, and you meant it as a nice joke.’ Quite a yummy joke.

‘Assault because I did then throw you down.’

‘You
knocked
me down; surely that means most ice-skaters should be done for assault at some point.’

‘And indecency because of the, erm, writhing about and inappropriate screaming. That one really should have been slapped on both of us.’

Claudia was laughing so hard she had to grab the crutches for support.
‘Did the police really say we were inappropriately screaming?’

‘Yep,’ said Nick, a smirk on his face. ‘It’s a family place, Claud, and not suitable for sex-starved teenagers.’

‘Did they really think I was a teenager?’ she asked with pride.

‘I think they meant it more as a metaphor.’

‘Oh.’

‘Don’t worry, you’re not that withered and haggard yet.’ He took the crutches from her and held out his arm. ‘Come on, let’s blow my dosh on a cab home for you. It’s the least I can do. Then your big hunk of an outlaw has to go to work.’

‘I’m glad they didn’t bang you up.’

‘Me too. Do you dare to go on a date with me again tomorrow night?’

‘Yes please, I’m not sure how much longer I can go without that kiss.’ Urgh, saying that to Nick sounded like the dorkiest thing on earth.

Date Eight was set, and she couldn’t wait to open the advent calendar door on that one.

‘But if you
had
to.’

‘If I
had
to …’ Claudia pondered as she tugged a black strapless dress up her body bit by bit. They were standing in Penny’s flat the next morning, choosing outfits for the upcoming wedding from Penny’s extensive, but a size too small for Claudia, wardrobe. ‘Then I’d snog Richard Madeley, marry James May and avoid Boris Johnson. But that’s not fair because you know I fancy them all.’

‘That looks nice,’ said Penny, once Claudia had stuffed both boobs inside the dress.

‘Black, though, for a wedding?’

‘I think black’s totally fine now, especially for a winter wedding. You’d look weirder in a floral sundress. How’s this?’ Penny slid on a pale silver maxi.

‘Nice, but a bit too close to bridal. Next.’

Penny whipped off her dress while Claudia rolled off the LBD, freeing her flesh and nearly taking her knickers with her. She picked up a pink kaftan.

‘So, is Nick now your “date” for the wedding? Is he going to be your plus-one?’

‘I don’t know. Neither of us were going to be taking anyone else, but I don’t want it to be “me and Nick”, and then “you”, I want it to be all three of us going together. Unless there’s anyone you were thinking of bringing?’

‘I don’t know,’ answered Penny vaguely. She looked Claudia up and
down. ‘No, definitely not the kaftan.’

‘But it’s comfortable.’

‘It looks absurd. You look like you’re only going to the wedding so you can tag along on the honeymoon.’

‘Even in heels? Even if I put a belt around it?’

‘No. Next.’

Penny slid herself with ease into the black strapless dress and Claudia reluctantly swapped the kaftan for a navy blue shift with a smattering of pearls. The girls assessed each other.

‘Winners?’ asked Penny.

‘Chicken dinners,’ Claudia confirmed. ‘Penny, are you
sure
you’re okay about Nick and me?’

‘Of course, I said I was.’

‘I know, but you said yourself that if you two were together it might have changed the dynamics. Are you worried about that now?’

‘Should I be worried? Are you two going to get all “smug couple” on me?’

‘No way, I swear it’ll be like nothing’s changed.’

‘Then I don’t mind. You don’t need to keep asking me,’ Penny said. ‘Are you going to take the job? Now that you’re banging each other?’

‘We’re not banging each other!’

‘You will be.’

‘No we won’t. Gross! Nick can’t see me naked. And I still haven’t decided about the job.’ Tick-tock, tick-tock.

‘You haven’t? It’s only a week ’til Christmas. After New Year we have a three-week break and then it’s back to work in the last week of January. I expect they’ll want you to start then.’

‘Hmm.’ Claudia hated being reminded that she had a decision to make, it only made her want to ignore it longer out of spite.

‘Basically, you’d have to start in a month. How much notice would you need to give at Edurnés?’

‘Two weeks, minimum.’

‘So what are you going to do?’

‘Do I really have to make a decision soon?’
Go away.

‘If we’ve learnt one thing this week, is it not that you need to
figure out your own feelings and get them out there – make decisions – the sooner the better?’ Penny raised an eyebrow at Claudia.

‘Yes,’ Claudia mumbled.

‘Then go home and sort yourself out.’

‘I’m going to go home and sort myself out.’

‘Good idea, bugger off.’

That afternoon, with her hair tied in three unbecoming pigtails in an attempt to dry it in mermaid waves, Claudia was back in her flat surrounded by holly leaf-shaped Post-its. It was very selfish of everyone she knew not to work in an office with a pilferable stationery cupboard, so that she’d actually had to go to WH Smith and
buy
some supplies on her way back.

The obligatory Christmas movie was playing in the background, this time
Home Alone 4
, which she was refusing to give her full attention out of loyalty to Macaulay Culkin.

Claudia shook the last of the tube of glitter on to the swirly glue-writing she’d carefully scribed at the top of a large piece of black cardboard. The board was divided into three. ‘ROYAL BALLET JOB – PROS’, ‘ROYAL BALLET JOB – CONS’ and ‘DREAM JOB’.

‘Right Claud, time to get serious: let’s start with pros and cons.’ She loved talking to herself nowadays; she was usually good company and always found her own jokes funny.

‘Work with Nick and Penny,’ she said, writing the same on a holly leaf. She hovered between ‘pros’ and ‘cons’. Would they get sick to death of each other? Would everyone think she was a total wet wipe for working with her boyfriend? But then, they wouldn’t really be working
together
, they’d just be milling around doing their own things, maybe meeting for cuppas. She stuck it in the ‘pro’ column for now.