The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio (5 page)

The scrotum is a container of loose, thin skin that holds the testicles inside. Its unusual characteristic is the
cremaster muscle,
which causes the testicles to wrinkle here and there and to go up and down as they contract and relax. It’s really a heat regulator: when it’s chilly, the muscle will pull the scrotum up and the testicles close to the body, and when the temperature rises, it relaxes and lets them hang. Before he’s about to ejaculate, the muscle retracts, pulling the testicles close to the base of the penis.

Inside the scrotal sack lie one, two, or sometimes three testicles—though you will most often find two. Men can have one, two, or more testicles from the time they are born, or they might later have one (or more) removed for medical reasons, such as cancer. These small, egg-shaped spheres feel uneven and bumpy in texture when you touch them through the skin, but that’s because they’re tightly wound masses that consist of tubes—similar to a rubber-band ball. Between the tubes are cells that produce that celebrity hormone testosterone, and the tubes themselves are where sperm are born and bred. The sperm travel from the tubes through a lumpy mass at the back of the testicle that’s actually one long coiled-up tube, and into the fast freeway of the
vas deferens.
Destination: urethra.

A man’s testicles are very sensitive to the touch, but many men enjoy having them caressed, lightly massaged, or even gently tugged or pulled during foreplay and arousal. Most men will not enjoy having them slapped, spanked, or even sucked—but there are exceptions, and this type of pleasure play should be expressly discussed in advance. Generally, you should treat them like a pair of delicate eggs.

Behind the testicles and between the thighs is a flat stretch of skin that’s also covered with hair and often the same color as the penis—this is his
perineum.
Beneath the skin of the perineum is where the root, or bulb, of the penis lies, and when he gets an erection you can feel this area harden, too. Stroke or rub this area during other sexual stimulation, and you will probably get a positive response.

The Anus and Prostate

The prostate gland is the starlet gland of the male body. It is at once villain and vixen: the seat of the most-diagnosed cancer in men, and the possible promise of pleasure from beyond the stars. Rebuked, reviled, redeemed, and romanced, this little gland manages to make headlines when viewed from any angle. Sometimes the attention is conflicted: the gland makes prostatic fluid for carrying virile semen, making the man “a man”; it also makes orgasm outrageously powerful but requires access through anal penetration, questioning some people’s definition of “a man.”

Illustration 3. Internal Anatomy (Side View)

Not all men enjoy anal stimulation—whether it’s gentle touching on the outside, rimming, or penetration and prostate stimulation—but many men find that it adds a new dimension to sex play. One of the reasons that men like anal play is because massaging the prostate gland feels incredibly pleasurable and can make orgasm very powerful, but they might also like it because the anus and anal opening is rich with nerve endings that feel good to the touch, or for various psychological reasons. He may like that it’s a big taboo, that it’s a “dirty” thing to do; maybe no one touches him there and it means a lot to have you care about his pleasure; or it may be part of a dominant/submissive fantasy scenario in which he “makes” you do it, or you “make” him submit to it. One thing is certain—the men who like anal stimulation during fellatio like it a lot, and for many of these men, prostate stimulation can turn a good blow job into an unforgettable experience.

The perineum stretches from the base of the testicles to the anus, where it is no longer perineum and definitely ass. It has some hair, either a light, downy covering, or a thick, coarse carpet—it’s different on every man. All humans have hair around their anus, whatever your gender; if you don’t, then you either shave it or are too young to be reading this. Between his cheeks, you’ll see the anal opening, a pucker that will differ in color from the skin on the rest of the body. In fact, it’s common for the thin skin surrounding the pucker to be lighter or darker in color between the cheeks.

The prostate gland is within the front wall of the anal opening, usually around 1 to 3 inches inside and forward (toward the front of the body or belly button). Its location inside the wall is just behind the bulb of the penis, beneath the bladder, surrounding the urethra in a ring. Because the prostate is anchored at the internal base of the penis, when a man thrusts hard with an erect penis he transmits highly pleasurable sensations to the prostate. It’s a little larger than a quarter in size, though it is heart-shaped and is usually described as being the size of a small walnut.

Surprisingly little is known about the prostate gland. It produces prostatic fluid (the whitish liquid that carries sperm during ejaculation), it grows as a man ages (sometimes dangerously), and it can feel really, really good when sexually stimulated. It’s clear that it plays an important role in the male pleasure cycle, and it has become touted as the male G-spot. When a man reaches the point of orgasmic “no return” (ejaculatory inevitability), the prostate gland joins the seminal vesicles and other ducts in pleasant-feeling spasms and rhythmic contractions to create ejaculate—and this is before the contractions of orgasm. If you are stimulating a man’s prostate prior to and during ejaculation, you can often feel the gland swell to hardness, then contract before his orgasm.

To feel the prostate, insert a well-lubricated finger inside his anal opening and stroke toward the front of his body, in a “come-hither” motion. It may be too soft to feel easily in its unaroused state; in fact, you may not be able to feel it at all until he becomes aroused, when it swells and hardens. Similarly to the G-spot in women, the prostate may trigger the feeling of needing to urinate when stroked. For men who aren’t ready for penetration, you can stimulate the prostate indirectly by massaging the perineum in firm circles with the flat of your thumb. Some men like perineum massage only when they’re aroused, and some don’t like it at all—when in doubt, ask. For prostate stimulation tips and techniques for fellatio, read chapter 10, “More Techniques.”

His Sexual Response Cycle

When a man becomes aroused, his senses go into overdrive. The everyday becomes the superreal; his sense of smell is heightened, colors are brighter, his skin becomes more sensitive and responds readily to touch. Whatever was sexy to him before he got turned on is even more sexy, and his focus is hormonally sharpened on just one thing: more pleasure. Meanwhile, his internal and external sexual anatomy are responding—big time. Many different muscles involuntarily tense, resulting in contractions of facial and abdominal muscles. His breathing becomes heavier, his core body temperature rises, his heart rate increases, his nipples may become erect, and some men get a sex flush across their chest, neck, face, and stomach. And if his penis begins to become erect, the head darkens in color and his testicles swell and move close to his body.

Arousal triggers physical reactions, but it doesn’t necessarily have to come from a physical source. Physiological arousal can come from either of two sources or, more likely, a combination of the two—mentally, from his brain, or physically, from his body’s response to stimulation. These two factors need each other to create physiological arousal, though they can operate at varying levels: in a given instance, fantasy may be fueling the fires more than touch, or vice-versa. The mind and body work in tandem to make a man hot under the collar and hard under the Calvins—you can have one without the other and still be aroused, but then, well, you have one and not the other. These two factors (in whatever proportion) trigger neural responses along nerve pathways that widen the arteries leading to the penis and other erectile tissue. Blood begins to flow into his penis and its underground erectile tissue, and his penis and perineum begin to harden. The prostate starts to grow firm to the touch.

Blood flows into the main tubes of the penis, creating rigidity as the flow of blood expands the erectile tissue, trapping the blood in his penis, creating and sustaining the erection until the nerve messages stop, or he ejaculates. (The nerve pathways for erection and ejaculation are different, which is why a man can ejaculate without erection and vice-versa.) The blood flowing to his genitals is also being trapped inside in the bulb and root of his penis, contributing to a firmer perineum.

To make an erection, the blood swells the tissue inside until it strains against the sheath of skin covering the penis. Lo, it is risen. The head also swells, and in uncircumcised men this swelling pushes the glans forward out of the opening in the foreskin. Erections come in many flavors—soft, semisoft, hard, rock-hard—and can fill out the shape of the penis differently depending on the man. When erect, he may be straight as a board, curve up, down, left, or right, or be firmer at one end than the other. As his pleasure cycle moves up and down the peaks and valleys of arousal, so will his erection grow soft and firm again. In prolonged sexual encounters, it’s not uncommon for erections to come and go as the lovemaking session progresses, and this normal cycling has nothing to do with his actual arousal or desire.

At the urethral opening, during arousal some men get wet with what’s commonly called
pre-come.
This clear fluid usually appears when he’s really turned on, and while some men have only a little, others can be quite juicy. It also changes in amount from one experience to another; he might be really wet sometimes, while other times he’s not wet at all. Pre-come is a combination of the fluid forced from the walls of the urethra and ejaculatory fluids produced in the prostatic urethra (where the fluids mix with semen before ejaculation). Pre-come contains semen, and it can contain viruses if your partner has one, so it’s important to treat it just as you would ejaculate—with all the necessary safer-sex precautions. (For information on safer sex, see chapter 4, “Know the Hard Facts: Health Considerations.”)

As his arousal heightens, all the muscles and ligaments in the genital region begin to tighten, creating an exquisite tension. The prostate gland is swollen with fluid, waiting for the signal to begin its contractions. The figure eight of muscles that surround the penile system and ring the anus become tense, creating more pleasure and making his entire lower body part of the pleasure process.

I hold my boyfriend’s balls while I suck him off. He likes it, and as they get tighter I can tell he’s about to come.

Muscle tension builds to a pinnacle as he reaches the point of no return. His glans is very sensitive to stimulation, and both penis and shaft become very hard, as does the prostate. The testicles pull up very close to his body, contributing a delicious pressure. His breathing is labored, his blood pressure is up, and the skin all over his body is electric and extremely sensitive. His whole body is flooded with potent sexual chemicals, coloring his vision with nothing but the demands of getting more of whatever is pushing him onward. Before the peak, the prostate gland shudders and releases the prostatic fluid to mix with semen and other juices—this is “orgasmic inevitability,” the point when a man knows he is about to come, and nothing on earth can stop it. Then the short, rhythmic muscular contractions of orgasm begin, not just in the penis but also throughout the entire genital region (including the sphincter muscle), and he orgasms, usually with ejaculation. This is the moment of pure pleasure. And with a little experimentation, men can orgasm multiple times and in many ways.

Ejaculation

During the orgasmic phase of sexual response, when a man feels orgasmic inevitability, the fluids that comprise ejaculatory fluid are being pushed into the prostatic urethra. This makes him feel like he’s about to come. When the involuntary muscular contractions of orgasm begin, the muscles of his penis and urethra squeeze the opening to his bladder completely closed, and the seminal fluid (now mixed with sperm) shoots out of his penis. Ejaculation is usually accompanied by the rhythmic contractions of the pelvic muscles, though it’s possible to ejaculate without orgasm, and it’s also possible for him to orgasm without ejaculation.

Most men ejaculate when they orgasm, but not all do, and not all men ejaculate every time. A man may not ejaculate due to frequent ejaculation, because of health issues such as retrograde ejaculation, or because he has learned how to orgasm without ejaculating using a technique for male multiple orgasms. If he has been ejaculating frequently or is having several orgasms in one session of sex, the amount of fluid he expels will decrease, sometimes until it seems like nothing is coming out. Retrograde ejaculation is when the opening, or valve, between the bladder and the urethra doesn’t close during the muscular contractions of orgasm. When this happens, ejaculatory fluid is sent into the bladder. Retrograde ejaculation generally occurs in men who have spinal cord injuries or have had prostate or bladder surgery. This should not interfere with the pleasure of orgasm, but if there is pain or discomfort, he should see a doctor.