The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio (9 page)

The human body is a complex container for water, salt, sinews, bones, brains, feelings, dreams. The many things we can do with it are astounding: making buildings, babies, ideas, orgasms. The body itself is a fortress against intruders; white blood cells, helpful bacteria, and acids—nature’s polymorphous armies—can combat the common cold, keeping our delicate system in balance. And yet, when compromised, our own helpful tools can be turned against us and we suddenly become the perfect host to bugs, germs, diseases, and infections. In the realm of sex, becoming a good host means anything from engaging in unprotected sex to weakening yourself with illness and uninformed lube and toy practices, all the way to being a careless (or unknowing) carrier of unfriendly bugs.

Is Fellatio Risky?

When it comes to unprotected fellatio, everyone involved is taking a risk of some kind. Unprotected fellatio carries a lower risk for the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) than unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse (with a penis or a just-shared, unprotected sex toy), or unprotected cunnilingus (unless she ejaculates in your mouth), but there is risk involved—for both the giving and the receiving partner. When a guy gets a blow job without a condom from a stranger, he’s in the low-risk category for HIV and hepatitis B and C; but he’s at high risk for herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, and HPV (human papillomavirus, or genital warts). If you go down on a man and you don’t know whether he is infected, you put yourself at risk for hepatitis B, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, and HPV—and if you have a cut, bite, sore, or abrasion in your mouth, you are also at risk for HIV and hepatitis C. Unprotected rimming (oral-anal sex) puts you at risk for all of the above, along with hepatitis A. Brushing or flossing your teeth or going to the dentist before a round of oral sex will put you at significant risk; these activities produce tiny cuts on the gums.

Risk Awareness

Please note that the best way to avoid transmission of most viruses and STDs is to use a latex or nonlatex (but non-animal-skin) barrier for all activities involving fluid transmission.

The following tables show at a glance the risks that accompany fellatio and other sexual activities; for more details on the risks for specific STDs, see the section that follows.

Is Rimming Risky?

Rimming,
or
analingus,
refers to caressing or penetrating your lover’s anal opening with your tongue. Because the delicate pucker of the anus is rife with sensitive nerve endings, rimming feels incredibly pleasurable to many people, and just as many people enjoy giving it as getting it. For both givers and receivers, rimming sets the night on fire.

Though rimming is certainly enjoyable, it isn’t a very safe activity. Unprotected rimming can transmit hepatitis A, anal herpes, anal warts, and possibly viruses such as HIV. Always use a barrier for rimming—but if you insist on barrier-free rimming, get a hepatitis A shot. Read about erotic rimming techniques in chapter 10, “More Techniques.”

STDs and Fellatio

Some STDs are easier to transmit than others. Let’s look at the most common STDs and their relative risks for transmission during fellatio.

HIV

HIV is transmitted when the blood of an infected person enters another person’s bloodstream via an open cut, sore, or blood vessel. According to the Centers for Disease Control, HIV has also been found in varying amounts in semen, vaginal fluid, breast milk, and pre-come. The CDC cautions against allowing the blood of an infected person to make contact with mucous membranes. If you perform unprotected fellatio, you may be at risk, especially if you have a cut or sore on your lips or in your mouth (perhaps from recently brushing or flossing your teeth). While great strides have been made in managing HIV infection, there is no cure for HIV. The virus can lie dormant in the body for a very long time and can be transmitted even when there are no symptoms present. The person infected with HIV may not even know they have it.

Fellatio (Giving)

Fellatio (Getting)

Rimming (Getting)

Rimming (Giving)

Sharing Sex Toys

Deep Kissing

Dry Kissing

Hepatitis

Hepatitis A, B, and C infect millions of people worldwide and can be asymptomatic for years before liver disease is evident. Hepatitis A is transmitted through oral-fecal contact and can be contracted when rimming an unprotected partner (for more on rimming, see the section above). Hepatitis B is very similar in transmission to HIV: it is found in blood and other body fluids, such as semen, vaginal secretions, breast milk, and tears. You contract hepatitis B when fluids from a carrier, such as pre-come or ejaculatory fluid, enter your body via an opening such as a cut or sore in your mouth. Hepatitis C is found only in the blood of an infected partner. That doesn’t mean, however, that you shouldn’t treat it like any other serious virus, and if you think your partner might be infected you should follow safer-sex guidelines at all times when performing fellatio. Hepatitis A has no chronic or long-term infection; there is a vaccine to prevent both hepatitis A and B, and they can be can be treated in some cases; there is no cure or vaccine for hepatitis C.

Herpes

Herpes is an extremely contagious STD. There are basically two types of herpes—oral and genital—and what lives in the mouth can easily take up residence in the genitals. Herpes is spread when sores or shedding skin from an infected partner make contact with mucous membranes—penis to mouth and mouth to penis—as well as through skin-to-skin contact, such as hand-to-penis or hand-to-anus contact. That’s why you should use gloves with your condoms—fellatio is almost always a hands-on activity, and you’ll definitely want to touch your partner’s penis, balls, and/or anus while going down on him. While it’s true that the herpes virus is benign when not active, the CDC states that it’s possible to contract herpes between eruptions, when the skin is shedding (before an outbreak). An outbreak can range from a collection of blistering, painful sores to one small sore that can be unknowingly tucked in a fold of skin. There is no cure for herpes.

HPV

Human papillomavirus (HPV) is the virus associated with genital warts. However, you can have HPV and never have a genital wart; in fact, most people who have HPV do not know they have it, because it usually causes no symptoms. Approximately ten of the thirty identified strains of HPV can lead to the development of cervical cancer in women. HPV is spread much like herpes, through skin-to-skin and mucous membrane contact when the virus is apparent or simply shedding. It should be considered highly contagious, and you are at much higher risk for contracting HPV through fellatio than you are for contracting HIV or hepatitis. The symptoms of HPV can take several weeks or even months to appear, if they appear at all. They can be small, painless bumps or look like a collection of cauliflower-like constellations, appearing on the penis, scrotum, thighs, mouth, anus, or vagina. Again, gloves and condoms are advised, but if you see symptoms you’ll want to avoid sexual contact until the outbreak has cleared up, since HPV is spread by touch and can appear in areas condoms don’t cover. There is no cure for HPV.