The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio (11 page)

Plastic Wrap

Latex allergies are no fun, and they can rear their ugly heads as rashes, chronic infections, or severe allergic reactions leading to anaphylactic shock. When in doubt, use plastic wrap (a.k.a. Saran Wrap) for rimming; it does the trick nicely and has playful advantages. It can be even better than those slippery little dental dam squares, because you can use long sheets of it, see through it, and even make a stay-put lickable barrier out of it! For a long time, safer-sex literature insisted on nonmicrowaveable plastic wrap, because the microwaveable variety has microscopic holes to keep your soup from exploding in the microwave. But recent research has shown that those holes don’t really open up until the temperature reaches microwave oven levels—that is to say, much hotter than you’re both likely to get. Still, it never hurts to be extra safe, so if you’re shopping for plastic wrap for safer-sex purposes, do choose the nonmicrowaveable kind.

The Eroticism of Safer Sex

For some of us, the snap of the glove, the unfurling of a dental dam, or the tearing open of the condom package means one delicious thing: we are about to have sex. While others hem and haw about the extra steps required by safer-sex gear, or the hassle, or the lessening of sensation, we smell the latex and know we are about to “get done”—and get done
right
. It means not only that our partner is considerate and cares enough about our health to take the lead but also that we can relax and anticipate good sex, because we know we are in the hands of someone who knows a thing or two about sex. I don’t know about you, but when the gloves go on I think of a smooth and slippery hand, and I purr. Especially if they’re put on with a wicked smile. And when a dam is dangled knowingly before my eyes, or a condom pack seductively slipped to me when I’m slipping lower and lower… my sexy partner is telling me there is no escape from pleasure now—and I melt.

Introducing safer-sex gear into your erotic repertoire may seem awkward or even embarrassing at first, but you’ll quickly overcome these feelings by spending a little time experimenting with the new accessories. Buy some condoms, dental dams, gloves, and finger cots, and examine them when you get home. Open the packages—touch the items, feel the surface texture, pull and tug on them. Bring the items to your face and lips: become familiar with them by smelling and tasting them. Try on a glove, a finger cot. Taste a condom. Try it out with a dildo (or cucumber). Lubricate one side of a dental dam, place the lubed side on the palm of your hand, and give it a few test licks, varying the sensation to get an idea of what’s in store for your lover. Most of all, begin to put your safer-sex gear in the same mental category as your sex toys—because that’s what they are.

Allow latex barriers into your erotic fantasies. Incorporate them into your masturbation sessions. Imagine the naughty but sweet ways you can add them to your encounters, such as having a folded condom tucked in your garter belt or the top of your boot, or gloves conveniently placed in the pocket of your jeans.

CHAPTER 5

Hair and Hygiene

Encountering our lovers, for the first time or the hundredth, means encountering them fully; taste, smell, appearance, skinny legs and all. When you go down on a guy, you’re up close and personal with all these things. His pubic hair and how he wears it, how he smells and tastes are variables that depend on biology or mood. If it’s your first time going down, you may be wondering just what to expect, both visually and orally. Shaved, furry, musky, or squeaky clean, men are delightful and delicious in all their permutations, and the permutations can be many.

His Pubic Hair

My ex-girlfriend and I decided to completely shave our privates. Talk about arousing experiences... After I shaved completely (including the twins, basically everything down there), she proceeded to give me what I would consider the best blow job I’ve ever received. She totally loved having no hair to bother her, so she went at me with everything, licking up and down my shaft, licking my balls, taking me in as deep as she could…

Pubic hair is something that simply can’t be avoided, no matter how polite the company or skilled the waxer. Adult men have hair that covers their pubic bone, surrounds the base of their penis, and continues over their testicles and scrotum—for starters. Some men are very furry and thickly carpeted; others may have a light coating. It’s not uncommon for guys to have a “treasure trail” of hair from their navel to the thicker patch at the pubic bone, to have hair on the base of their penis, and to have pubic hair overflowing onto their thighs. And everyone has hair in the crack of their ass—it’s time we all faced this fact. Don’t go by what you have seen in porn; porn stars and men in erotic magazines routinely trim and shave their pubic hair, just as the women do.

How guys wear their pubic hair is a matter of individual preference—a combination of what they want to show their lovers, what their partners prefer, and what feels most comfortable. Some guys might want to shave or trim their pubic hair to foster a neat appearance, some might like the feel of less hair, and others may do it for more sensual purposes, such as increasing skin-to-skin contact during sex.

Shaving may seem like a daunting or even scary proposition for men who have never tried it, but many men who shave love the sensitivity it affords, and the way their bare skin can feel every little touch and kiss. Men new to shaving will want to read about it before they try it. Keep in mind that a newly shaved area itches when the hair grows back in. This can be irritating, in that the itching will sometimes happen when you really can’t scratch, but if you continue to shave, you will itch less as time goes by. Another thing to consider is that a shaved area will soon become an area with stubble. The best recourse for avoiding beard burn from your pubic region on a lover’s face is to either cover the stubble with a small towel or cover your pubic bone with your hand when your partner goes down on you—or shave again!

Illustration 5. Shaving

How to Shave or Trim

If you’d like to shave, follow these suggestions:

• Before starting, trim the hair down with a pair of small scissors, such as mustache trimmers, a pair of shears, or clippers.

• Take a shower or a warm bath to soften the hair.

• To decrease irritation, you might want to rub a bit of oil into the skin under the hair before shaving; try almond or olive.

• Put hair conditioner in your pubic hair even before applying the shaving cream. Hair conditioner is what’s in those creams sold in adult bookstores specifically for pubic hair shaving, so you can avoid spending the extra money by getting a regular conditioner at the drugstore. Buyer beware—just use conditioner.

• Lather up well with a shaving cream or gel—a thick gel is recommended.

• Use disposable razors; you might even use two or three in a session.

• Start shaving in the same direction as the hair grows, if you can tell. The idea is to shave with as few strokes as possible. Rinse the razor in warm water after each pass; never dry shave.

• Use a mirror and sit on a towel (if you’re by yourself). A chair and a full-length mirror are ideal.

• To shave the testicles and scrotum safely, stretch the skin out flat with your hand.

• When finished, rinse off using a gentle soap, pat dry, and apply a scent-fee, hypoallergenic lotion.

• Never powder! It dries out your tender, newly shaved skin. If you must dust afterward to feel dry, use only cornstarch. Of particular interest to men with female lovers, many body powders contain talc, which has been linked to cervical cancer in women.

• Yes, it can itch like crazy when it grows back in. To avoid embarrassing moments in the elevator, apply more of the hypoallergenic lotion. It won’t make the itching stop forever, but it helps.

Razor Burn

Nothing’s worse than making yourself lovely with a clean shave, and then having it ruined by razor burn. That uncomfortable, ugly red rash of bumps is troublesome, but it can be avoided to some extent by following the shaving suggestions presented above. If you seek further help, beware of over-the-counter and prescription creams, because they contain cortisone. Cortisone will get rid of your razor burn, but using it more than twice a week causes thinning of the skin. Try these suggestions instead:

• Splash with cool water after shaving to close your pores.

• Wash shaved areas with goat milk soap, which restores the skin’s natural mantle and pH.

• Use calendula creams or ointments after shaving. Calendula works wonders on irritated skin.

• Use a natural aftershave from a health food store.

• You can find products that work well for razor bumps at drugstores (such as Tend Skin), but they usually contain harsh chemicals. Use these sparingly.

Waxing—For Men?

Yes, Virginia, men
do
get waxed. Salons that wax tend to have a client base that is both male and female, and if you think the men are only there to have their backs or chests depilated, think again. Some men do it for their partners, or for modeling or appearance concerns, and some do it for sports such as swimming or bodybuilding—so they say. Guys can and do have their bikini area waxed, and some go for the gold and get their entire genital area waxed. If you tend to get ingrown hairs, it’s best to stay away from waxing, which makes hairs split and loop around under the skin’s surface.

Waxing is the procedure in which a warm wax specifically formulated for hair removal is applied to the area of unwanted hair, then gauze is pressed onto it while it’s still warm. When it’s set, it’s ripped away from the skin, taking the offending hair with it. It hurts when it’s ripped away, and leaves you red and swollen for a day or two afterward. But when you consider that you’re left hairless for upward of six weeks, skipping a day or two of bicycle riding isn’t such a bad trade-off. Waxing can be done at home, but for delicate genital areas, you’re better off putting your gonads in the hands of trained professionals.

The type of wax treatment that removes all hair in the pubic region (mound, penis, testicles, perineum, and anus) is called a “Brazilian wax.” The popularity of this procedure has made it readily available in many salons, but you’ll want to call around and ask a few questions before you make an appointment. Look for higher-end salons; though they cost more, it’s worth it to know you’re in expert hands. Find out if they wax men, because some salons cater to women only or give Brazilians only to women. Next, find out how long their staff has been giving Brazilian waxes, specifically the staff member they will book your appointment with. Don’t settle for someone who has done Brazilians for less than a year or has little experience waxing men.

When you go in to get a Brazilian, check your shyness at the door with your coat and hat. Prepare yourself to strip down in front of the cosmetologist and spread your legs into a wide, Yoga-like position. You may wind up holding your legs over your head. Be sure to go in with enough hair to wax off; if you’ve shaved recently, the cosmetologist might tell you to come back when your hair has grown in more. The waxing begins with a dusting of baby powder and continues with a quick slathering of wax. Even more quickly, the wax comes off, and the sensation may make you see stars. Then, a once-over with tweezers, and, well, let’s hope the endorphins have kicked in, because you’ll be red, swollen, and quite sore. Be prepared for the possibility of getting an unintentional erection during the process, and consider that you might have a similar arousal reaction afterward, as the pain may stimulate your blood flow and nerve endings. Any waxer who has waxed a man has seen it all before, so if you feel ashamed or embarrassed, don’t sweat it—if you don’t, they won’t. If your doctor says it’s okay with for you to take Ibuprofen, a few tablets half an hour before your wax will help minimize swelling. But the whole procedure is over in about fifteen minutes and leaves you sporting a silky-smooth cock, balls, and butt.

Aromas and Flavors

Sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste are the sensual tools with which we fully meet our world, including our lovers. A nuzzle, an intake of breath, a caress with your lips, or the taste of a kiss all combine to filter your lover through your senses into a delicious sensory cocktail—ideally, one that is an aphrodisiac. Kisses, anywhere they land, draw your senses into erotic focus and make the pursuit of your lover’s essence into passion, desire, and need. The smell, taste, and feel of a first kiss can be unforgettable.