The Unexpected Life of Carnegie Lane (12 page)

She remembered the day she put away her Doc Martin boots, knowing they were suddenly politically incorrect to be worn in their new circle of friends. The dark make up had to go, replaced with gentle clinic tones that highlighted what was real in a world of plastic surgery and Botox. The music she danced to in public became dull and boring, something that sat in the background and didn’t intrude on the conversations that appeared to matter more than the creation of sound. Her life was stripped bare, in order to have a new life. One she never chose yet one she continued to allow, no matter how great the loss.

That was why she wrote that book. Every part of her was calling out to be found. Every word she wrote tore her apart a little bit more than she already was. Every heartache and loss showed the depth of despair she carried for not ever having found
him
, or from possibly losing him. It screamed how much she wanted her world back, just the way it was.

Maybe, just maybe, that was true. She hadn’t found
him
yet. Her world was all back to front and her marriage had really only served the part of her life that allowed her to have a family. Now it was possible that the one it was meant for just happened to be a successful lead singer in a band, who she had never met and yet, she liked him. She liked that he called her, she liked that he offered her help. Most importantly, she loved the fact he enjoyed her story. It gave her hope.

So what happens the day she finds what she is looking for? Does it all end? Does her creativity stop at one book, one story, one reflection of a dream? Or was it just the beginning? The song she was listening to ended and at the same time the phone rang, like synchronicity.

She was brought back from the memory of her life seventeen years before by the reality of a relentless digital bell. She got up and answered it. Not expecting the conversation to answer most of her questions and be the salvation to her immediate prayer.

“Hello” She said a little sleepily, still caught in the mood of her music.

“Carnegie?” The female voice questioned at the other end. She sounded too young in her opinion.

“Yes…This is Carnegie Lane.”

“Carnegie…Its Katalie Bowman, great to hear your voice.” Carnegie’s heart began to beat a little faster.

“Wow, Katalie, I wasn’t expecting a call. Hi, it’s great to finally talk to you too.”

“Well, we have some great news. We have a publisher for “
Impossible Things
” The offer is being put together this week, and we are having some meetings next Wednesday.”

This was clearly good news.

“That’s amazing. I thought it took much longer than this.”

Katalie laughed a little. “It often does, although this is a great read. It hit a nerve with everyone who read it, me included.” She deliberately left out the mention of her brother. This was their conversation and it didn’t belong to him. Not now. She continued on without distraction or small talk, trying to keep the conversation on track, as there was some work for Carnegie to do, that would help her secure an even more lucrative deal than the one being offered now.

“Carnegie, I recognize this is your first book, although, is there another one you have been working on? Have you thought about writing two? Often we can pull a better deal if there is more than one book on the table.”

There was silence for a moment. Writing another book hadn’t even been a consideration for her.

“Well, I hadn’t really thought about it. What kind of book do you want? I mean…I guess I could give it a go.” She was in shock, trying to come up with an idea.

“Well, have a think about it. See if you can even come up with an outline, you’re not expected to have a complete manuscript ready by next week, just a concept. If you can do that, we can get you an advance and a time frame to write it.”

“Do I get anything for the one I have written?” She asked innocently.

“Oh yes. You get a quite a lot actually. The figure isn’t set of course and as I was saying, offering another book at the same time will raise the bar on the final offer, although it is somewhere around the one hundred mark at the moment. That’s to you upfront.”

It took a while for her to read between that line. Was that one hundred dollars, or one hundred thousand dollars? Or was it Pounds?

“So, somewhere around one hundred what?” She asked with a dry mouth and with a sudden shake in the hand holding the phone.

“Oh…around one hundred thousand pounds. Sorry, I wasn’t very clear was I.”

There was no answer…Carnegie was unable to answer.

“Carnegie? Are you still there?” Katalie thought for a moment the phone had dropped out.

“Oh…Sorry. Yep. I’m still here.” She was only just there, working hard not to faint. The blood in her body was rushing to her head.

“So…What do you think? Any chance you could come up with a theory for a second book?”

“And the second book, it brings in more money on top of that amount?” She asked again, wondering if this was way too easy. Also wondering how she missed this for so long as a career option.

“Yes it will, not as much since you’re not offering a complete manuscript, but enough to allow you an income to continue writing uninterrupted.” Katalie did this every day, none of it was remarkable to her so it rolled off her tongue as easily as water over a rock.

“I’m sure I have a few ideas I could put together in the next week. I’ll do my best Katalie, and thank you…For the call.” It wasn’t that she was deliberately cutting it short. She just needed to get off the phone, sit down and allow it all to sink in.

“It was great to finally catch up with you Carnegie. We will talk again soon, in the mean time I’ll send you an outline of the offer and an email that will explain how it all works.”

“That would be great. Talk to you soon Katalie, bye…and thanks!”

Carnegie put the phone down, sat on her bed and burst into laughter. For the first time in her adult life, she’d just earned an income and it was by no means a small one. All of the financial pressure suffered from that messy divorce lifted… in the space of one phone call.

“Paddington, here we come.” She muttered to herself under her breath, happy now to continue the dissection of her outdated wardrobe. It didn’t matter anymore. She was about to go on a spending spree, and felt the excitement of it. Once, shopping held no reward. It was easy and money was no object. When the kids got home it was the first thing she was going to do, give them free reign to shop and make their absolute own decision on what they were going to buy. Simply, because she could.

She danced and imagined her way through the rest of her afternoon to the sounds of Sigur Ros, throwing out bags of clothes, anticipating tomorrow and waiting for her kids to walk through the door, expecting nothing.

Carnegie Lane, single mother of four, idol to inanimate objects and almost author, was suddenly and unexpectedly, about to acquire a small fortune. And she did it all… by… herself.

Hey, whenever I fall at your feet

Won’t you let your tears rain down on me?

Whenever I touch your slow turning pain

The finger of blame has turned upon itself

And I’m more than willing to offer myself

Do you want my presence or need my help?

Who knows where that might lead?

I fall

“
Fall at Your Feet”

Written by Neil Fin

Crowded House - Woodface Album – 1991

8

Hours
became days that slowly became a week. There was one more week to survive. One more week of secrets she had to keep from the miserable girls that dragged their feet behind them with every step. Carnegie had found her own distraction, in the attempt to write an outline for another book. It came a little harder than the first, although ultimately, she had an idea that she could spin into a good yarn, one she was sure would be well received.

She had kept up her emails with Katalie, back and forth, until eventually she had a suitable outline with a full synopsis of the idea to support it. Now, it was up to Kat to see what she could pull out of her magic hat. All Carnegie had to do was believe she could write it.

She was aware she hadn’t replied to Nate’s email. Instead she dissected every tune from the body of music he had offered so freely. Every song held a memory for her. He wanted her memories, he had asked her what it was that made her who she was. She was exploring exactly who that someone was since up until now, she had been too numb to even consider giving a clear and honest profile of herself.

She had changed somewhere along the road of her life and now, before she could sit comfortably in her own skin, she had to change back. Remove from her timeline the parts that didn’t make sense, yet still leave in the parts that she refused to let go of. The children being the classic example of her dilemma. In one week, this man who had offered her respite from the average, was going to play a concert, just to make her daughters feel better. The very least she could do was reply to his email.

-----Original Message-----

From: Carnegie Lane ([email protected])

To: Nate ([email protected])

Sent: Thurs, July 14, 2010 10:15 pm

Subject: RE: Good news and Better News just for you

Hi Nate,

Sorry for the late reply to your last email. I have been lost in a world of music from your selection, I love them all! And Yes.. I had most of them too by the way.

So you asked me what music I like? Wow, my tastes are huge and varied. A long time ago, I followed the punk rock scene and explored the underground and emerging music around the city, really liked a band called Rocks, very indie of me. I loved a band called Up’s and Downs, they formed in Brisbane before moving to Sydney, and I made a point to follow them to every gig they did, along with another band called The Church. They later went on to have a few hits that made the charts. They did well. Another band I followed, called The Moffs, they were awesome, oh and never forget The Headstones! Another great band. I still have their 7” vinyl somewhere. So many memories. I have always had a passion for live and original. I fell in love with a band called Australian Crawl, in fact I think I wanted to marry the lead singer at one stage. Dragon, they were so good live. Oh… and I was in a film clip once for The Angels at the Maroubra Seals Club, I think the song was called the Nature of the Beast. They filmed it at their concert, I was so impressed. This list of blissful live original music from the 80’s that I tracked religiously could go on for hours, so we will leave it at this, I’m sure you can still find some of their stuff on YouTube. It has everything known to man on there and then some.

Out of the songs you told me you like. Well, Dire Straits clearly. Early is best, seems the same with most bands, early has their soul, later has the drive of commercial and the dollar if they last that long. The Police are amazing, wow the list goes on. Actually I really like Leonard Cohen!

My life isn’t that interesting really, and I think I cried it all out to you in a phone call. Sorry about that. Or at least some of it. Now…What makes me happy?

The phone call from your sister telling me I have a publishing deal! THAT made me happy! I had to give an outline for a second book, which is why I hadn’t gotten back to you sooner, I had to create it on the spot. Now sometime today, she is having a meeting with the publishers trying to stitch up a deal for both of them. I’m so excited.!

One more week, and you will be here. That is very awesome Mr Bowman! I still can’t begin to thank you enough! Now, go You Tube a song called “
I will Persuade You
” by The Huxton Creepers. That one is a serious blast from my past. It reflects my blurrish youth.

See you soon.

Carnegie x

Nate happily spent the last few days of his holiday in Italy researching her song list, enjoying the sounds she had chosen to share. It resembled his own taste for music when he grew up, always enjoying the live scene much more than the pop chart tunes. He was also wondering why he hadn’t heard from Katalie, why she had decided to exclude him from what was happening in her world. Although, he couldn’t really talk, he was doing the same. Somehow he felt that the existence of Carnegie Lane in his life and in his sisters, had come about because of him. Like a kind of fate that made him pick up her manuscript and read it, loving it above all other things for the day he held it in his hand. He was in a way, rather chuffed he had managed to have this concert organized without enough attention surrounding it to reach his sister in the first place. Although they both had agreed to disagree, there was a line that he was about to overstep that could force him to choose and he would know soon enough if he was prepared to fight for what he believed in.