The Unexpected Life of Carnegie Lane (19 page)

This time, she had more to protect than just herself. She closed her eyes and tried to think of a song, any song that would distract her and allow her to believe she was somewhere else. She opened them moments later, there was no song, not even a chorus.

Carnegie Lane, mother of four, idol to inanimate objects and almost author, was suddenly and unexpectedly… shutting down.

I finished crying in the instant that you left

And I can’t remember where or when or how

And I banished every memory you and I have ever made

But when you touch me like this

And you hold me like that

I just have to admit

That it’s all coming back to me now

“
It’s All coming back to me now”

Written by Jim Steinman

Performed by Meatloaf & Marion Raven

Bat out of Hell III Album- 2006

11

The
next morning came quickly and before long Nate was on the road, heading for Brisbane leaving the cane fields and Carnegie behind. The three cars that contained the crew and the rest of the band were working in tandem as they made their way south on the highway. He was distant, lost in a world of his own. He often seemed that way when he was writing new songs. Escaping into a different place, one where no one was invited until he had all the lyrical prose written down and the rhythm and chords reproduced on his guitar, never to be forgotten. This was different and Leonie knew it.

Nate had done as she told him and he had remained aloof to Carnegie Lane. She saw the remnants of disappointment in them both as they struggled to say goodbye and tried to look like it didn’t matter. Although her loyalty had always been to Nate, somehow, this time, it felt like he was intruding on a person that didn’t belong to him. Carnegie belonged, in a sense to Katalie. If she thought it was any different, she wouldn’t have done what she did.

They were the only two in the car, along with the driver. So she took the opportunity to try to get in his head a little. The last thing she needed was a miserable front man.

“So, did you have fun?” She was smiling at him, priming up to the conversation.

“Yeah, I suppose it was ok.” He was still distant.

“I am sorry Nate. It was best. You know that.”

“Do I?” He retorted quickly and sharply, feeling a little sorry for himself.

“Well, Kat said…”

“Kat said what? That I couldn’t have her? That she was
her
client? She is a friend Leonie…she is
my
friend! I’m not having an affair with a married woman damn it she’s divorced... I’m not even having an affair with her... My
friend
!!” He reiterated in a huff and turned back to keep looking out the window attempting to ignore her, which proved hard, since the distance between them in the car was still not quite beyond the confines of “personal space”.

“Well… talk to me Nate…What’s going on? I can’t help you if you won’t tell me.”

“There is nothing going on. And besides, I invited them to Brisbane. They are the extra rooms you booked. So I’ll get the chance to apologize at some stage for ignoring her existence.”

Oh my god!
She thought to herself. This time, she didn’t try to talk him out of it. There was no point. He had made up his mind and she knew better than to try to get in his way.

Katalie was at Heathrow Airport waiting for Jason to arrive. She saw him come out with a flood of people through customs and gave him a wave and a smile. He saw her and walked over with the entire sum of his worldly possessions…His military style back pack.

“Hey you.” She said as she put her arms around him and gave him a hug.

“Hi kid. How are you feeling?” He questioned genuinely.

“I’m ok, was just a rant, I’m almost over it.”

“Well I’m here now. So make the most of it. I’ll fix things up with Nate if I have to.”

He grabbed his stuff and headed for the doors, Kat just looked at him. He was so emotionless, he always had been, yet he had an uncanny ability to calm down the family wars. It was like he was a silent observer, able to see both sides for exactly what they were. He also had an uncanny ability to break things; her last television was living testament to that. She sighed and followed him out to the car park, they chatted about Lilli and the kids as they made their way home. They were almost in her front door before the conversation had changed to Nate and the reason he was here.

“Well I mean, come on. It’s not like he had to go there of all places and he didn’t even tell me.”

“Are you sure this reporter will cause trouble? Maybe it won’t matter.”

“Won’t matter! Jase, this reporter could turn Mother Teresa into a serial killer if he wanted to.”

“Why would he want to?”

“All he needs is an angle and the photos, well he has that, which means my client….
MY
client will be affiliated with Nate, and all my work to prove myself will be for nothing. I will still be Nate Bowman’s little sister.”

“Na, your awesome. Well what’s the worst he could do? If he kept seeing her?”

“Destroy my life, I won’t talk to him ever again you know, it wouldn’t matter how hard you try to smooth this one over. He had no reason to like her in the first place.” Katalie sat defensively on her lounge. She had made her point very clear. Jase kind of wondered what the fuss was about, since he rarely cared what the tabloids said and Nate had said once that all publicity was good publicity.

“Maybe he just really liked her story.” He was wondering what
did
attract him to her in the first place, since she apparently wasn’t his type.

“It’s a great story, but it’s not the only story in the world.”

“What’s it about?” Jase was sitting on the lounge next to Kat, ready for the synopsis.

She sighed a little, wondering where to start. “Well, there was this guy called Seth, and he’s like eighteen or so, and has a girlfriend, called Taylor. And she dies in an accident after an argument. Anyway he never forgives himself, he thinks it was his fault. But it wasn’t. Somehow his
want
to have her back, was so great he finds a way to be with her…and he begins to live this kind of dual… life. Move into a different reality where she is still alive….It’s way more complicated than that though…Look, read it for yourself. There is a copy over there on my table.”

“That’s amazing!” Jase replied, absolutely ore struck. “I can’t believe it.”

His eyes lit up as he looked at Kat.

“What? I mean… yeah so you get it…it’s a really cool story.”

“Well yeah… considering some of it is real Kat. Oh my God, of course. You were too young.”

“Too young for what?” She had no idea what he was on about.

“Taylor…Taylor was the name of Nate’s girlfriend when he was eighteen. They had a fight after a party one night, and she took off in a car with some other kids. They wrapped the car around a tree, they didn’t even make it to the end of the street. Nate was watching the whole time and saw Taylor thrown from the car. She died in his arms. He promised her he would never leave her while he held onto her. He said he would find a way to be with her.”

Kat was wide eyed with her jaw almost on her lap.

“You’re kidding?” She questioned, although some vague memory started to tug at her on this.

“No I’m not and it took ages for him to get over it. Mum took him to so many Psyches’, it lasted for about four years, and everyone thought he was going to kill himself to be with her... That’s when he started playing music and writing songs. Most of the songs off his first two albums are about Taylor. Although no one knows that and it’s never been brought up in the press. I don’t even know if the other members of the band know it.”

“Oh no, poor Nate.”

“So that’s the connection. This girl, whoever she is, this Carnegie, just gave him his Taylor back…Or replaced her.”

There was silence for a while, as they both let that last bit sink in.

“He can’t replace her…Oh no! It’s some kind of post traumatic stress disorder, deferred for twenty one years.” Kat said with an edge of demented fear.

“Tread real careful here Kat. I remember what he was like. I know I was younger than he was but I shared a room with him. I know what he went through. He used to scream for her. He lived that accident over and over again as if he was trying to change the outcome.”

“Well what am I supposed to do Jase? I have to get this book out and I need to do it without Nate being involved with the author, at least until we can see if it will stand on its own two feet…so to speak.” Kat felt suddenly defeated in all of this.

“Well, let’s just give it a couple of days to think about what to do. I’ll call Lilli later and fill her in, she was right in the thick of all of that mess, Taylor was her best friend. I’m sure she will have some kind of input that might be useful.”

They ordered pizza and watched a movie together. Kat felt almost guilty for being so harsh. She was also a little put out that this major tragedy involving two of her siblings was a complete mystery to her. Hopefully Leonie was right and it would all blow over and be nothing more than a storm in a teacup. She sent a text off to Nate. It didn’t say much, she just suddenly needed to have contact.

I love you.

Kat xx

It didn’t take long for her to get a reply.

Love you too kid.

Always xx

It had been a strange day for Nate and for Katalie. For Carnegie it was no different. She had no idea why she felt the way she did, or even why she had the right to think it. Nate was a friend, although there had been a moment, just one…very brief…fleeting moment where between them there was more than that. It left the night of the concert. Every time she tried to go and talk to him, he would find a reason to move to the other side of the room. Even then, if she looked at him he would smile, as if apologizing for the distance between them. It was strange. Maybe it was a rock star thing…something she needed to get used to. She decided that music would make her feel better so she fumbled through her collection until she found something she believed she could relate to. Something that reflected her mood. Something… sung… by Nate.

His first album was haunting. It was strangely sad and then it dawned on her. It reminded her of her book. It reflected the loss. Carnegie lay on the lounge listening to the words, feeling the music, ingesting the beat. It was what she did best, although usually it also cleaned her house. Like a magical fairy.

She drifted off to sleep thinking about how amazing it had been to meet someone as wonderful as him. Then she thought of how it came about…
write this down
…the voice had said, gently as she was waking up that morning…..
write this down
!

Carnegie Lane fell asleep on her lounge in the middle of the day. It was something she never did, yet the pace of the last few days physically and mentally had left her exhausted. Everything would be better later, she decided as she drifted off to sleep with the sound of Nate’s voice playing softly in the background, enveloping her like a blanket. She was so asleep, she didn’t even hear those kids walk in the door from school, and none of them were game enough to wake her.

The day rolled into night, and even though she slept through dinner, which the girls managed to provide for the little ones, she still went to bed reasonably early. She was reading through the Publishing offer that had arrived through the day and was left under the mat at her door. It was nearly midnight when the phone rang. She reached over without even thinking and picked it up.

“Hello?” she said, a little indifferently.

“Hey.” The voice replied. “It’s Nate…”

He was quiet, but it didn’t matter. He was there…on the end of the phone.

“It’s late, why are you still up?” She taunted him a little.

“Can’t sleep, why are you still up?” He mimicked.

“Can’t sleep.” There was silence… both of them holding onto the knowledge that the distance between them had somehow disappeared by no more than a connection through a telephone line.

“Carnegie, I’m sorry...” She cut him off.

“You don’t have to apologize, there’s nothing to apologize for.”

“Well, I need to explain it to you.”

“Nate… you’re not obligated to explain anything to me, really, and I’m so grateful that you came.” She genuinely was grateful. That would never change.

“Well, I feel like I do, and I will… You know that guy that was there, Tye Markham?”

“Yeah…” She replied, not seeing a connection and hoping that he wasn’t about to tell her he was gay or something.

“Well, he was a reporter, an undercover reporter for one of the most ruthless paparazzi teams in England. It filtered back to Kat. I was avoiding conflict, for both of you.” Again…there was silence while she took it in.