The Unexpected Life of Carnegie Lane (31 page)

“He said something about that. It really wasn’t supposed to happen this way.”

“Nothing like this is supposed to happen. There’s no blame Carnegie and as for Nate, I wish for him nothing more than finding happiness with someone.”

“Well, I think he’s all but given up on me.” Carnegie was starting to feel that well of emotion that could erupt into tears brewing from deep within her. She looked with more conviction at the clothes racks to offset the situation.

“Two weeks now till the book is released. Once it is critiqued, it won’t matter so much. Just keep doing what you’re doing. This will end, I promise.”

They continued to shop in silence, Katalie felt a sudden rush of guilt. She liked Carnegie, and underneath it all, she figured she wouldn’t mind her being in the family. Although she was different to the other women Nate had been with in the past, Carnegie appeared level headed and down to earth. Her phone rang and distracted her, it was Lilli.

“Hey Kat, how’s it going?”

Kat moved carefully to the other side of the store and out of ear shot.

“Hey Lills, good. I’ve got Carnegie with me, we’re shopping.”

“Ahh, the eternal cure all. Poor thing, she’s almost branded a musical serial killer over here.”

“Here too. It’s not true though, there were plenty who stepped forward for her about that.”

“The New York Times said as much. Hey, I read the book.”

“And….?”

“It’s almost spooky. There’s resolution in it for Nate in a fantasy fiction kind of way. I’m going to tell you this much, it’s as if Taylor put that story in her head, just for him to hear it. It’s like she’s begging him to let her go. For years it was me doing the begging. I remember it well.”

“It’s just a coincidence Lilli, there can’t be any connection.”

“All I’m saying is, sometimes things happen for a reason. This is a great read, and it will go far, but underneath it, there are some parallels that are too close to be fiction. She was given this story, this is Taylor’s story from the grave, I’m telling you Kat. That’s why Nate wants her so badly.”

“Oh you always were more
hocus pocus
than me.”

“Why don’t you just ask her, how she came up with the idea? I would be curious to know.”

Kat laughed a little. “Yeah…OK, I’ll do that.”

“Have you spoken to Nate?” Lilli asked since not once in this conversation had her little sister gushed her brother’s name, which was unusual.

“No, I don’t think he is talking to me at the moment. And he hasn’t called Carnegie either.”

“When is he in London?”

“Next week. I don’t know what his plans are. I might call Leonie later on and just check in. Poor girl, she has become the counselor and the manager.”

“Yeah she works hard. Well I have to go. Ask her, and tell me how she got this story. Love you Kat.”

“Love you too Lills, talk soon.”

Katalie hung up and went to find Carnegie who was in a change room, oblivious to the conversation. The shopping virus was taking hold and she was in a sacred world of her own.

Eventually they left the store, and at Katalies insistence they stopped for a coffee. Lilli’s words rang in her ears. How did she find this story? There was no time like the present to dispel her sisters’ trippy theory and leave all the esoteric coincidences behind. What she wasn’t expecting was the answer.

“I dreamed it. It was given to me, by a girl in a dream. Before I woke up, she told me…
Write this down
. It was the strangest thing…” Carnegie drifted off, thinking back to the moment that started all of this.

“And this idea had never come to you before that?”

“Nope…I never had entertained the idea of writing at all for that matter.”

“Oh…wow.” Kat was lost for words, she also felt the blood drain from her face. Maybe her family was closer to the mark than she gave them credit for. Only this time it did involve her. She wasn’t the baby anymore.

They were walking back to Carnegie’s hotel, when they were confronted by two photographers. They were relentless, taking full advantage of the fact this was the first time Carnegie Lane and Katalie Bowman were photographed together. Up until this point, Carnegie had managed to control herself, yet there is a breaking point in everyone.

Without warning she stepped forward, and pushed one of the photographers to the ground. She’d had enough. The other one couldn’t believe his luck. This was great footage and added to the theory that somewhere within her, she was violent by nature.

“Carnegie, come on, walk away.” Katalie was trying to defuse the situation.

“I’m so over this!” Was all she managed to say. “They are destroying my life!”

“It will only get worse if you retaliate. Come…walk away.”

She grabbed her hand and led her as quickly as she could towards the hotel. Once inside her room, and after Kat calmed her down, then left, Carnegie burst into tears. She missed her kids, and she missed Nate. There was a hornets’ nest in her stomach, not from the first of her interviews scheduled in four days time, but for the fact that in three days, Nate would arrive in London, and so far, she had no idea if he was even talking to her.

It all seemed so unfair. She missed her music, her stereo and the simplicity of her ornamental audience. She wanted to run away now, before her heart broke anymore than it had. Nate had dumped her in the middle of this, and there was little to no excuse for not contacting her. He had found time before, why not now? Now when they were supposed to be closer. She wanted to sleep and stop thinking. She needed to change the direction of her thoughts, before they consumed her. She closed her eyes, and looked at the rooms of her life in her mind, thinking all the time….
What did I miss?
Eventually she fell into a fitful sleep.

Katalie arrived back at her office and picked up her phone. She called Nate, and hoped he had some time to talk to her.

“Kat…what’s up?”

“Everything…” Kat didn’t know where to start this conversation, she didn’t know if she should apologize, and tell him she got it wrong. All she knew was that Carnegie was falling apart, and from what she was starting to realize, maybe there was more to why than she could ever understand.

“How’s Carnegie Kat?” It was his first thought, and the seriousness in his voice assured her that he was concerned.

“Not good, she knocked down a photographer today.”

“Good for her.” Nate said out loud, although he knew the consequences of her action would only lead to more negative press.

“Nate, I think I was wrong, maybe I shouldn’t have told you to stay away.”

“Too late now, what’s done is done.”

“I think she needs you. I don’t think she can go through this alone.”

“I haven’t left her. I’ll be there in three days. I have no intention of staying away from her.”

“Have you called her? I know what I said, but Nate… Please, can you call her?”

“You know Kat, I did what you said, I stayed away. I denied all points of contact in interviews, and I’ve hated myself for it. I did all of that because you asked me to. Now, that you can’t control the situation, and the girl who matters to me is falling apart because of it, you change your mind and tell me to change our entire media direction yet again? Well you better make sure that whatever you decide, you don’t change from here on in, because you’re fucking with someone that matters to me. Do you get that?”

“I know…I’m sorry.” She didn’t want to tell him about her conversations with Lilli, she knew she already crossed that line once. What she wanted was for Carnegie to settle down. Not just because of the book launching, also for the fact she could feel her pain. She was suffering as much, if not more than Nate.

“I’ll call her. Oh and Kat. It’s going to be alright I’ll fix this, but you should have trusted me on this one. I’ve been playing tag with these people for twenty years. Sometimes telling them how it is… is always best. Now, you go do your thing, get her interviews ready. I’ll talk to Leonie, and see what I can do.”

“Nate…thanks. I love you. I hope you know that.”

“Always…”

Leonie just happened to be in the room for the entire conversation, and she got the drift of it. She looked at Nate with a serious tone.

“What do you want to do?” She asked genuinely. So far, they had said there was no more than a casual friendship in all interviews. Nate hated it from the start, but went along with it, avoiding any media attention surrounding her.

“It’s a bit late now…I don’t have an answer for this one. I just hope…Carnegie understands that I haven’t abandoned her. I’m
still
here.”

“Did you call her, when you got to France like you said you would?” Leonie had a feeling he hadn’t, and she knew from her own experiences, that there is a time line most women will hold onto before the longing, becomes a type of sadness and then eventually turns to irrevocable anger.

“No…She was with Kat, I thought…she would be fine.”

“Oh God Nate…call her now! I’m going to try to move your flight up a day, let us finish the interviews here. You need to get to her and soon.”

They moved heaven and earth for an hour, rearranging schedules. Then once it was done, Nate picked up the phone.

Carnegie was asleep, but aware of the phone ringing. She let it ring out once, before she eventually opened her eyes enough to pick it up to answer it.

“Carnegie…It’s me.”

“Who?” She answered sarcastically, still waking up, and face it, no matter who he was, he was just a man and she was upset with him.

“I’m so sorry. I was only doing what I thought was best.”

“It’s ok. I discovered the paparazzi have less balance with a camera in their hand. They fall over easily when you push them. Wish I thought of that before.”

“Now, don’t go doing anything stupid.”

“You’re telling me not to do anything stupid? Little bit too late for that, don’t you think? I get the feeling I’ve already been stupid, more than once in the past few weeks.”

“Carnegie…We thought it would settle down.”

“Yeah, well, it didn’t.” Now all she wanted to do was cry. There was no way she would let him know that. She was trying to play the brave, Helen Reddy ‘
I am woman
’ type of face. The one that said she was so independent, she didn’t need his help. Underneath it all, she would have killed to have him put his arms around her, and tell her it was going to be alright.

“I changed the schedule. I’ll be there in two days. We were arriving the day of our first concert, but Leonie worked some magic, as she does, and I’ll be there a day before the band.”

“Do you have any idea what I’ve been through? Have you read this stuff? It’s shameful. It’s the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to me. Nate, it’s not true. None of it is true.”

“Baby I told you, they don’t even care who you are, they have created a public persona of what sells. I know who you are. Your kids know who you are.”

“Then who am I?” She wanted to hear it from him. She wanted him to tell her who he thought she was, because right now, even
she
was beginning to think she was Hitler’s daughter.

“You are
my
Carnegie Lane. You can raise one eyebrow which defines your expressions. When you talk about your kids, your face softens. You have three smiles that I have seen so far, all of them different, all of them beautiful. You love walking in the rain and you are an amazing author. You sing as if you were born to be on a stage. Your laugh could light a thousand candles, and you are my perfect friend. And I fall more in love with you every day that I continue to breathe.”

Well… she wasn’t expecting that!

“Nate, hurry up and get here. This is so hard. I miss the kids, and… England hates me.”

She cried out all her sorrows for the second time to him over a phone. Nate Bowman sat on the other end with a virtual shoulder and let her. He gently guided her back onto her path, and gave her tips for her interview, which she finally admitted she was nervous about. By the time they hung up, he was confident they were back on track.

She lay back on her pillow, feeling better for the tears, and relieved that he called. Two more days, she told herself over and over again as if making a subliminal promise to herself. Then he would come and save her from this nightmare.

Carnegie Lane, mother of four, idol to inanimate objects, and almost author, suddenly and unexpectedly… calmed down.

Hey, Hey, when everything goes wrong

Sometimes it makes no sense

Hey, Hey there once was a time

I should have known better then

Hey Hey, although you may try

It won’t come your way again

Hey little girl,

Where will you hide

Who can you run to now

“
Hey little girl “

Written by Iva Davies

Icehouse - Primitive Man Album 1982