The Unexpected Life of Carnegie Lane (35 page)

“I’m here tonight to honor, and speak on behalf of my beautiful friend…undeniably, my girlfriend, Carnegie Lane who was injured in a terrible accident, as you know. I stand here with her four children, Sobian, Olivia, Connor and Sienna, who have also gone through this bravely, with pride for their mother, and not without their own scars for it. Now I know that you have all read some pretty incredible fiction where she is concerned, and it’s a shame you did. But I can’t blame you for seeking the truth from other sources when it wasn’t offered from those of us who should have been honest and spoken up for her in the first place.

So your first question is answered. Yes, she is my girlfriend. She is also a beautiful mother, and now proven to be an amazing author, a part of her I’ve had the honor to be aware of for a while now. Carnegie’s book represents hope in so many ways, and it also begins with a tragedy not unlike the one she is suffering now.

We all hope and pray that she will come back to us soon, and I can’t wait to tell her I opened her book launch for her. She will probably kill me for it. Yet strangely, it’s fitting that I am. I was the first person who ever read this story, I even beat my sister, her agent to the mark on that one. It was a random selection of manuscripts that I flipped through and chose hers. I never knew what she looked like, or even looked at her name until I opened that package. Right from the start, I knew it would be a book that so many of you in the world that had ever wanted some closure and resolution, would understand.

When I was eighteen, I lost my girlfriend, in a horrible accident, her name was Taylor, that car crash also took the lives of three other friends. She died in my arms, but not before I promised her, I would never let her go, and I’ve struggled to move forward all of my life because of it. Well, I now understand that it’s time to let go of the past, and move on to what is right in front of me. Carnegie Lane showed me how, and I love her for it.

So your second question. Will this book prove the calibre of her talent? Yes it will. Buy it and enjoy it. And while you read it, send her a prayer. We hope she will be back with us soon. Thank you everyone for your support. Let’s now just wish, for impossible things.

The crowd clapped in appreciation. The books that were there moved out the door faster than candy in a store full of children. Simultaneously, in Australia, several book stores were holding vigil openings, watching the official release on television. All of them showing support not only for Carnegie, but also for Nate and the children that were so strongly supporting her every move. The book began to move in record numbers. It took twenty four hours before the first critique of that book came out. It out-did every ones expectations. Within the first three days of its release, it was clear that the next print run was going to be needed sooner than expected. The book was selling out all over the world and about to be translated into twelve new languages. It wasn’t selling through sympathy, although it’s undeniable the initial attention helped. The book was now selling, simply because it was… that… good.

Carnegie Lane, mother of four, idol to inanimate objects, and Author, was suddenly and unexpectedly…number 1 on the New York Times best seller list. All she had to do now… was wake up and live her fame.

Take my hand you know I’ll be there if you can I’ll cross the sky for your love

For I have promised, all to be with you tonight and for the time that will come.

Hold on, Hold on tightly, and don’t let go.

“
Drowning Man”

Written by U2 – Collectively

U2 – War Album 1993

19

Katalie
sat at her desk, unable to put Carnegie’s file away. Most of the work she had to do regarding this project was finished. It felt too final, it felt like goodbye. The mood with everyone had become the unspoken reality that it had been three weeks, and still, she lay sleeping. Trapped in a world of her own.

Every day, it was harder for Nate, yet his determination to bring her back never failed. Night after night, day after day, he remained. Singing to her constantly. Lilli was the one who made the call, gathering the family, and the oldest of her children together. Someone had to do it.

“It’s been three weeks, it’s time to really assess what’s going on here, with Carnegie.”

No one moved, least of all Nate. The unspoken words echoed around that room like thunder.

“I think we need a new doctor.” Nate was still working on the eternally optimistic approach.

“Stop Nate…just stop. Let me finish.” She had watched him fall into madness once before from losing someone close to him. She wasn’t about to facilitate a situation that allowed it to happen again.

If Carnegie was going to get through this, it was time to make her work a little. She had spoken to the Doctors, all seven of them. They agreed that maybe it was time to see if, at the very least, she could now breathe on her own. Nate had fought to allow the supports to remain in place. He was buying for time, regardless of the eventual consequence.

“All of the specialists agree that there is great hope that she will come out of this. All of them agree also, that there is a possibility she won’t. Now I don’t know your mother as well as you do, but I know the last way I want to live until I
don’t
anymore, is supported by a life support system.”

“You can’t put this on them.” Nate stood up, ready to challenge her.

“You can’t keep this going either. Take a look at yourself. This is killing you, it’s happening all over again. I cannot begin to imagine what you’re feeling, but I know these girls are feeling it along with you. So are the little ones.”

“They aren’t
that
little.” Nate argued the point, for argument sake, also to capture a memory of when he had that conversation with Carnegie.

“They are to her.” Olivia said, also knowing where Lilli was coming from, and hearing her mother’s voice in her head as she said it.

Lilli went over and put her hands in her brothers, looking him in the eye as if explaining something to a child. “I’m not saying let’s rush over there and pull the plugs, I’m saying…it’s time to consider the possibility that no matter how strong she is, she’s not coming back. And the longer she is under that much oxygen, the greater the risk that the damage to her brain will be permanent anyway. One in the end defeats the other. We know that.”

Even Nate couldn’t argue anymore. All he wanted was to go back there, and beg her, to wake up. Then the subject changed. It went in a direction that no one saw coming. Nate was opening up for the first time, about what had driven him all these years.

“I see her sometimes, out of the corner of my eye. I know she’s there.”

“Taylor?” Lilli asked, interested since she often felt the same.

“Yes…Taylor. I know I couldn’t save her. I was there, till the end, but I would have done anything to have stopped her in the first place, from getting in that car, especially under the circumstances that she did. It should have been me in that car and you all know it, even though you never said it. ”

“We know Nate, no one ever blamed you. It was just a horrible accident.”

“No. It was more than that. Part of her, became part of me. After she died something happened to me and no one would ever believe what it was, but Carnegie knows, she wrote it almost word for word. Don’t think I don’t know that the reason I became a singer was to help Taylor live out what we all knew she would one day be herself. Sometimes it felt like I just manifested this ability from thin air.”

“Well, we all do wonder where your lungs came from. Mom suggested Uncle Pete, he used to sing in the shower.”

There was almost a laugh out of that, if the circumstances had been different, it would have had them in stitches.

“I have been talking to Taylor, in my head. I’m asking her if she really
is
here, and I have no doubt that I see what I see. I beg her, just go to Carnegie and help her to come home.”

“Nate…I’m going to tell you this. I wasn’t going to, but maybe there’s something in what you’re saying. Taylor’s mother is still alive, she’s not good, but she’s strong, even with the Alzheimer’s. I went and saw her, on Taylor’s Birthday, I always do, without fail…She usually never speaks, and acknowledges little. This time she spoke like there was nothing wrong with her. She told me, Taylor wants you to let her go. She also said she sent you someone so you could. I took it for granted until she told me her name. She said she sent you Carnegie Lane. She knew her name, and it was back then impossible for her to have known, unless Taylor truly did somehow tell her. I hope that helps you a little.”

Nate just looked at Lilli, between them they had more secrets than the entire family combined. Between them, they lived out the loss of the most beautiful person either of them had ever met. If Lilli was saying this, Nate would never question its truth.

“I have missed her for twenty two years Lills. Twenty two years and not a day went by when she wasn’t the first thought I had when I opened my eyes. Then suddenly it changed. Carnegie became the first breath I took, and the only thing that mattered. So am I cursed? If I lose her, I’ll never ever love anyone again. That’s why I can’t. I lost one. I can’t lose both of them.”

“I have no doubt that Taylor isn’t far away, and I can assure you she wants nothing more than for you to be happy. Maybe it’s time to tell her that you let her go, so she can get on with whatever it is she needs to.”

Nate stood up, he looked and felt like a vulnerable small child, not knowing which way to turn, let alone who to look at first. Lilli stood up and walked over to him.

“I was there for you then, and I’m here for you now. Nate…you know I’m right. It’s time to make some decisions, one way or another.”

“I know…it’s just hard.” He had his arms around his sister, holding her as if his own life depended on it. Then he simply turned and walked out of the room, out the front door and was gone. Jason took off after him. He didn’t want him to go alone. He knew he needed company.

“I’ll drive.” Jase said as he met Nate at the elevator.

“Thanks little brother, you sure? I can drive you know.”

“Yeah it’s fine. I don’t get to spend much time with you anyway.”

“Thanks Jase, I appreciate it.”

Back at the hospital, the flowers were beginning to mount up. One of the nurses was almost on full time duty, distributing those beautiful things to other wards. There were cards, books, photos, songs, gifts, flowers and so many letters it was hard to keep up. It made Nate so proud of her, to see how her fans were beginning to love her, and understand who she was, for what she was. He walked into her room and picked up her hand.

“OK…time to get up now my love. You need to answer your fan mail. You have more fans than I do. You better be careful, I might get jealous.”

Beep…Beep…Beep…

Jason had a book with him, he went and sat silently on the other side of the room, giving Nate the space to do what it was, he needed to do.

“It’s nice outside today. Well, it’s nice in London terms anyway. The sun shone at one point. And for more than a minute… Amazing weather.”

Beep…Beep…Beep…

This conversation went on for a while, going nowhere. That’s when one of the specialist doctors who had been overseeing her, came into the room.

“Good morning Mr Bowman.”

“Morning Doctor.”

“No change?”

He hesitated for a second before answering. Afraid that if he told the truth, he would be sealing her death sentence in a way.

“No... No change.”

“Well, I think it’s time we discussed options here.”

“Not now. I can’t think about that now.”

“I’m sorry Mr Bowman, you don’t have a choice. She can’t go on forever like this. Sometimes, if we force them a little bit, they rally a lot quicker than you think. We want to see if she can breathe on her own. There is a possibility that by doing that, it will aid her recovery. We won’t be taking oxygen from her completely.”

“What’s the other option?”

“We keep her like this, allow the coma to remain, and eventually, she will die on her own terms.”

Jason made a move on the conversation. “Her brain patterns are showing that there is something going on, have you determined anything from that?”

“What we know, is that at least a part of her brain is fully functional still. Maybe a lot more of it than we realize. If she has gone into this state, not only from the physical trauma, but from a heightened degree of shock, we may be able to shock her back out of it as well.”

“So you think by removing the tubes and forcing her to breathe, it might make her wake up…from the shock? Oh that makes so much sense.”

“How does that make sense Jase?” Nate looked over at him, with a look of distaste. How dare his brother agree with the man that wanted to take her life support system away from her.

“Well…it’s like mum would say… Someone needs to snap out of it. I just get what he means…sort of.” He looked back at the pages of his book, indicating that was all he had to say.