The Unexpected Life of Carnegie Lane (36 page)

“Mr Bowman, please think about this. It might work, in the mean time, can I suggest you keep singing to her, she responds to it very well.”

The doctor left, and Nate took hold of her hand and continued talking to her.

“Watch these doctors Carnegie, they want to kill you off you know. It wouldn’t matter where you went. I would find you. I won’t let you go that easily. I promise.”

He pulled out his guitar, and started again, at the beginning of the cure songs onto the Dire Straits, and through the Police Albums, tirelessly working to get her to come back to him. All she had to do was wake up.

Carnegie was standing outside of the room where Nate was singing. This time she could hear his songs clearly, they were perfect as always, every note was in place every word was correct. All she had to do was enjoy it. Suddenly, she didn’t feel so alone. Turning she thought she saw someone walk into a room, she ran back in their direction.

“
Hello?” She called out.

No one answered, but a door was open. She knew better than anyone, that no doors in this hospital were ever open. She walked in.

“
Is anybody here?” she asked cautiously.

“
I’m here.” Said a voice from the corner of the room.

“
Oh my god…you’re the girl.”

“
Yes I am.”

“
I saw you…I remember seeing you…Oh…oh am I dead?”

“
No Carnegie you’re not dead. Not yet.”

“
Not yet, what do you mean not yet?”

“
Well if you don’t find a way to open that door down there, you will be.”

“
What’s behind that door?”

“
Nate, your kids, your life…”

“
How do you know?”

“
Because I’ve followed you for 20 years… from over here.”

“
What…from a hospital corridor?” This was the most bizarre conversation Carnegie had ever had.

“
No Carnegie, not from here, this is just…identical to the last place I was. Once… if you get my drift.”

“
So you’re dead?” She was trying to figure all this out.

“
Clearly. Yes I’m dead.”

“
Oh, You’re Taylor! You are “the” Taylor!”

“
And you are “the” Carnegie Lane, the only other person in that entire world that could love him like I did. And look what you went and did.”

“
I didn’t mean to…what did I do?”

“
You got hit by a car. It was very nasty I might add.”

“
Oh poor Nate, he must have been beside himself.”

“
Must have been…yeah… try still is. So much so he is going to bring me back to life instead of you, if he doesn’t stop calling me to back to help him. I’m so not into that whole Zombie possibility…” For a dead person, Taylor certainly had a fine sense of humor.

“
Should I be sorry for that?”

“
No, he isn’t calling and holding me here anymore, well not because he believes he can’t live without me. You fixed that, finally. His grief is something I’ve tried to stop for twenty two years, now he’s asking me to help you to come back to him. It’s the least I can do, given the circumstances. So I am pleased to say, I am sure you’re now his number one and only. Which means I can move on, and become… something else.”

“
Thanks. ” Carnegie felt almost chuffed about that.

“
You’re Welcome.” Taylor replied with a smile. Then her tone turned more serious.

“
If you want to go back to him, and to those kids of yours, you need to work harder than ever…and now Carnegie would be a good time to start. The doctors want to take you off that life support. Your souls been wandering around in here for twenty one days. It could go either way now.”

“
I don’t understand any of this.”

“
You’re not supposed to understand it. You’re not even supposed to be here. That wasn’t your exit point. It was one of mine.”

“
What’s an exit point?” She had never heard of them before. Sounded to Carnegie like the left lane on an Australian highway.

“
Everyone in their life, has exit points…times in their life where a series of events will pre determine when you get off the roundabout…so to speak. Nate had worked so hard to replace me with you, that he tangled us up. It’s called Quantum entanglement. That accident you had was one of the accidents I could have had, if I had lived through the first one.”

“
If you had him, then why did you have the accident you did? Why did you die back then if you had a choice not to?”

“
Oh, it’s more complicated than that…believe me I know. You more than anyone should understand why I did it. You wrote it into that book.”

“
You did give me that story didn’t you? I knew it!”

“
Oh yes, I did give it to you, for two reasons. The first was because I knew you would write it down just as I had told it, and secondly, because I wanted Nate to find you. It was the only way I knew he would.”

Carnegie thought about that story. About a parallel world where there were other versions of ourselves that existed. In that world…it was Nate who had died, only he wasn’t called Nate…she changed his name, just not hers…

“
In that other world, in my book he died, not you.”

“
That’s right. And in that world, he really did die. Ten minutes before he nearly died in this one. In that world, my alternate self misses him every day. She also climbs on a stage nearly every night and sings songs to a crowd of thousands secretly written for a dead man. See the similarities here? On some level, in this world it was never meant to be. Nate Bowman was supposed to live a long life here, and the other side of me knew it. That’s why I got in that car, and not him. That’s why I fought with him before I did, so to be sure he wouldn’t get in with me. I was never accepted to a different University, I just said that. I shielded him, because I love him on a soul level, and you Carnegie, on a soul level, love him too, just it wasn’t that clear and obvious from the start being born on the other side of the world and all. It wasn’t a conscious decision at the time what I did. I had no idea what was about to happen, then when I died, it was quick and confusing.

I was in shock for ages, just lingering, unable to help matters any by hanging around. It only became clear to me after years of being pulled back here by him, and being guided to the answer by others.”

“
There are others?”

“
There are many Carnegie, but not here, not now. This is not your time. You need to find a way to go back there. Listen to him. Nate is your key. I’ll do my best to guide him to help you, but really, now you know the truth. It’s all up to you.”

“
So…I’m not dead…”

“
Not yet…”

She disappeared, right in front of her eyes. Carnegie was once again alone, in a hospital with locked doors. All but one… This one. She walked back into the hallway that she had come to know. She could hear him behind the door down the hall, singing to her. Still, no matter how hard she tried, that door remained locked. She started screaming, hoping to be heard. Above all, she recognized that what Taylor said was right. The book she wrote wasn’t just a story. It was a guide. She turned around and looked at the chair she had somehow manifested in this nightmare. She picked it up and started bashing it against the door, hoping to break it down, all the time praying for Nate to hear her.

Carnegie Lane, mother of four, idol to inanimate objects, and Best Selling author was suddenly and unexpectedly on her way home…from half way to heaven.

I see your face

I know I’m finally yours

I find everything

I thought I lost before

You call my name

I come to you in pieces

So you can make me whole

“
Pieces”

Written by Robert Douglas Graves

Red – End of Silence Album 2006

20

Nate
Bowman lay on the hospital bed next to Carnegie Lane. He gently stroked her hair, all the while talking to her. Almost begging.

“Come back to me Carnegie…I love you. I need you.”

Beep…Beep…Beep…
Her only response.

At what stage do you accept what appears to be inevitable? Carnegie Lane had very little change in her vitals for Twenty three days. She was trapped, although no one but her could know that. She wasn’t far away, just behind a door, one she still had to open.

Her children walked into the room, and took up a position around her. They spoke to her, they sang to her and apart from her heart rate increasing occasionally, there was no change.

Dr Rodelle was observing from a distance. He was a head trauma specialist, one that had been assigned to make the decision to turn off the life support. Today was the day, yet for Nate it came too quickly.

“How long, doctor. Till we…” He trailed off, unable to even think the words, let alone say them in front of her.

“In an hour. We’ll be here to make the decisions on what happens next depending on her reactions. It’s not over yet Mr Bowman.”

Those children looked lost. Until now, their mother had been their security, it seemed that they would be forced to go and live with a father if she died, one that had all but forgotten how to love them. They didn’t know that Nate had other ideas and had already made up his mind to fight for custody if anything were to happen.

Lilli walked into the room with coffee. She had been with Nate for the last twenty four hours. Even though the difference this time, was Carnegie still breathing, she saw a pattern beginning to repeat in her brother, a look in his eye, a recklessness. It scared her to remember what he was like and how hard she had tried to save him once before.

The distance in his eyes meant he was trying to remove himself from everyone and everything around him. To her it felt like he was searching for a way to go to the other world he discovered in his dreams long ago. The one that almost had him diagnosed insane. After reading Carnegie’s book, she wondered…for the first time, if it was possible to move into other realities. One thing she was sure of, if it was possible, Nate had the conviction to do it, even if everyone else thought it was the sign of madness to believe it real.

Jason walked in, calm and relatively without emotion. He showed little outward signs of much, yet he had an amazing mind that continued to tick over unseen. Nate began singing to her again, as he had done and would continue to do until, she was no longer there to listen.

With her book pulling huge sales, it seemed that Katalie had taken up the official position of promoting it, appearing in her absence for interviews. Even though the questioning always went back to Nate, she knew this time to embrace it. Carnegie Lane was now an Author with international standing. She was the overnight success story that everyone loved, the underdog with little to no hope for changing their life. Yet, she had done it. All the time she had conducted herself beautifully. It was the media that turned her into something she wasn’t; now it was the public who were demanding them to make it right.

The vigils outside of the hospital where she lay were larger today than they had been. The fans were given constant updates from within the hospital, at the request of Nate. It seemed everyone was holding their breath, hoping for a perfect outcome.

The book was in reprint, with over five million copies already sold. Nate had told her every milestone she passed as they happened. At the very least, he hoped she could hear him.

How do you define the moments of losing someone that matters to you? How do you recreate an increment in time that allows them to live on, regardless of the tragedy? How do you give up, before they have even taken their final breath? Well giving up was something Nate Bowman wasn’t prepared to do.

The reality that remained unseen was that Carnegie Lane was standing on the other side of a doorway, caught in someone else’s cosmic exit. They couldn’t hear her screaming their names, but she could hear them. She could hear Sienna talking to her, she could hear Nate as he spoke to a voice unfamiliar.

“It’s time. I suggest Mr Bowman, that you do what it is you have been doing. Sing to her.”

Carnegie’s heart rate moved faster a little, everyone looked over toward the bed where she lay, then it returned to normal. Like the metronome Nate had heard so many times in his studio.

One by one, those tubes were removed and then they waited. It felt like hours had passed, yet it was only seconds. Then she did exactly as the doctors hoped she would. Carnegie Lane continued to breathe, unaided.