The Unexpected Life of Carnegie Lane (26 page)

“Wow.” Carnegie said in awe, wishing she had those skills to organize her children. “Precision plus.”

“Get used to it. Kat is worse than she is.”

“Oh she’s good! Don’t get me wrong.”

“Might be a boring day for you, hope you don’t mind.”

“Na… I’m good, girls are taking the little ones to the movies.”

Nate laughed a little. “Carnegie, the little ones aren’t that little.”

“They are to me. They will always be the babies.”

“Yeah I guess they will.” He got lost in that thought for a moment. “Here, have some coffee, you’re going to need all the help you can get. I know I do.”

“Great, haven’t got there yet. So need one!” She took the cup and savored the moment. Coffee was usually the only thing that made her day sufferable. Today, the only replacement that even came close, might have been Nate.

Before she knew it, Carnegie Lane was off to see the other side of the life she thought she always wanted. It proved to be demanding and very fast paced. There were cameras and people everywhere, all wanting a piece of that band and in particular, Nate. Girls running up to him, and grabbing his hand. Throwing themselves at him. On one level, it made her feel great. The other side of her wanted to go slap the lot of them away like you would flies.

They were the fans, they were the bloodline to everything he was. Right now he belonged to them, he was just an object, a cheap purchase, a secret thrill. All of them believed they knew him, that they above all, had the right to stand there with him and on one level they did. The Nate Bowman they loved had been their creation. Theirs and the media’s, who invented a persona of a man none of them really knew. His music was great, sure, but it was the possibility of who this handsome man could be, that encouraged them to continue their relentless love affair with posters, CD’s and every magazine clipping they could get their hands on.

Carnegie stood back with Leonie and blended into obscurity. It all proved to be harder for her to deal with than she thought. She never would say that to anyone, not out loud. Occasionally, Nate would look over at her, and in that fleeting moment, his eyes told her that she was to him… the only one that mattered.

Seconds became minutes, and those minutes eventually met the hours that made up a day. There wasn’t much said on the way home. Everyone was tired and needed to clear their head, enough to play the next show. Always the next show, always…the next. That’s why they were here. For the thrill of a crowd, to close their eyes and feel the energy created in a room by those that loved them above all. The joy in handing a microphone out towards a crowded room, and have them sing the words you wrote back to you like they were the most important words in the world. It was an addiction. The fans were their drug, and the music was the high of their own creation.

Carnegie Lane closed her eyes. She was looking for a song, any song that would give her advice, like a tarot card. When it came, it threw her a little. Carly Simon, ‘
Will you still love me tomorrow
’. It wasn’t the right one. That song had no right to be there. She opened her eyes and looked right back into Nate’s. He had been watching her. She needed that relief. It may as well have been the hangman’s card, the one that signaled everything in front of you right now was going to change.

“Hi.” He said with a smile.

“Hi.” She said back, remembering to breathe again. Clearly, the song had been wrong.

The frantic pace continued, right into the Entertainment Center for a final time. Sienna was happily standing beside Leonie with her clipboard covered in important things for her to remember. She also had a head set that allowed her to hear all the things going on backstage, they muted the mic, for obvious reasons. Connor was just cruising around with some of the roadies deciding on a future career. Sobian and Olivia, were walking around like the super models they believed themselves to be.

Occasionally a photographer would take their photo. They felt extremely justified when they did. Carnegie on the other hand, was beginning to feel the fleetingness of time, as it passed all too quickly, threatening with every stroke of the second hand to take her heart away with it.

Nate sang, and Carnegie got lost in every word. She watched him as if hypnotized and devoured every moment as if it were her last. It wasn’t like her to be morbid in her thinking. In many ways, she wasn’t. Just right now was all she had until the next time, and how ever long or short that time would be, was about to be lost in the hands of schedules and interviews. Nate knew it too, and at one stage, Leonie asked her to go out into the crowd, so at least it looked like he was singing for them.

Out there, her world changed, which was why she avoided it the night before, and had hoped to avoid it now. She closed her eyes, and got lost in the sound of a drum, the hypnotic trance of a bass guitar, and the lead guitar that sent chills down her spine. Then there was Nate, her beautiful perfect friend. His voice rose above them all and blended in with the voices that sang along with him. Carnegie Lane was lost in her head, in a world that again belonged only to her. This time for very different reasons.

The show was nearing its end. Carnegie had decided to take the little ones back herself, since she hadn’t spent much time with them. She said goodbye to Olivia and Sobian, and Leonie called a car around to the side door for her.

“Just let him know… I’ll see him soon. I really need to get these two sorted.”

“Yep, you’re good Carnegie, I’ll tell him. See you soon.” She closed her door and walked back inside. Carnegie really didn’t want to give her too many instructions, it was clear that poor girl had enough to do.

Both of those kids almost fell asleep before their heads hit the pillow. Sienna as usual, fell asleep mid sentence. Carnegie settled into the lounge in her room and became absorbed in a movie. It was midnight when she heard the elevator stop at her floor, and heard familiar voices, along with a few she didn’t know as they made their way up the hall way. Sobian and Olivia bounded in the door, both of them yet again full of stories about how much fun they were having. Carnegie listened for a while, before she too, made her way back up that hall. She knocked loud enough to be heard. There was music inside. Sounded like a party.

Someone she had never met opened the door, and let her in. Carnegie smiled at the girl, wondering if she was even old enough to be out at this time of night. Then she let the thought go, since until ten minutes ago, her daughters had been out with them, she knew they were harmless. Nate saw her and gave her a wave, he was in deep conversation with someone, she could tell he didn’t want to be interrupted. She looked around for Leonie, making her way over to her.

“That’s Roland Phillips, the sound engineer for the new album. We didn’t catch up with him today, so we made time tonight. The people that are here, you might recognize some of them, over there, that chick is from some TV show you have here, and over there, they are models. That guy over there is one of the Australian arms of MTV, that guy over there is a journalist, works with the Murdoch group, not sure where he is from though, he’s not an Aussie. As for the rest. Don’t know, just one of the many faces that appear apparently out of nowhere. Kids go down all right?” She managed to take a breath after she said all that.

“Yeah, fine.”

“Any ideas what you’re going to do with them when you go to England yet?”

“None. Save calling their father.”

“Ah, make him do it. From what Olivia tells me, seems like he needs to step up to the mark a bit.”

“Impossible for him to even try. My mark has shifted, and it’s way out of his league.” They laughed, then Leonie went off and began chatting. Carnegie stayed on the peripherals of the room, trying to blend in, yet very aware, she didn’t even come close. It was nearly 4 am when the group began to break up and go home. A couple of girls were hanging around Nate, hoping that he would ask them to stay. He walked over to Carnegie and kissed her gently on the cheek.

“Hey Stranger.” He said quietly.

“Hey you.” She replied in almost a whisper.

“What’s say we go somewhere else. This lot are like cling-ons from the Starship Enterprise.”

“Suns about to come up.”

“I know. I have to be gone from here by 8am.”

Something inside her sunk, four hours, she had four hours left. Then like so many times in her life, the band would pack up and be gone, leaving her waving on the sidewalk.

“What are you thinking?” He asked, recognizing the change that came over her.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Tell me…tell me what you’re thinking.” He held her hand a little tighter.

“I’m wondering how I’m going to continue to breathe, when you’re not here to breathe with me.”

Nate put his arms around her, and held her tight.

“I’m not letting you go Carnegie Lane. I promise.”

They went back to her room, and for three hours, they continued to explore each other and be the lovers they were always destined to be. Time went way too fast, and before she knew it, Leonie was knocking on the door.

“Will you come to the airport, and see us off?” Nate asked as he got out of bed, walking across the room. Carnegie was loving every inch of his naked body as he wrapped himself up in a dressing gown. It was the first time she got to see the tattoo on his back, a series of symbols, like hieroglyphics, yet, they had an edge to them, almost mysteriously telling a story in an enchanting haunting way.

“OK. I’ll come.” She said, she didn’t know if this was a good idea, but it gave her some more time to be near him.

“Nate, what’s the tattoo on your back?” He turned around and looked at her, dropping the robe, as he sat back on the bed. It was nearly too much for Carnegie. That body was beyond awesome. Nate got her mind back on track, as he began to explain the meanings.

“The top one means eternity. The second one means many lives, and the third one, is the symbol for destiny. They are Egyptian based, with a Celtic edge. Do you like them?”

“Yeah…they are amazing.” In fact, they suited him.

She ran her hand down his back, touching the drawings that looked as if they were part of his body, every muscle was perfectly in line with the other, as her hand moved, his body flexed. That’s when it dawned on her, almost enough to make her burst out laughing.

Carnegie had landed an absolutely perfect specimen of a male. It was as if the God of Karma had placed his finger on her and said “
You…Carnegie Lane, shall find retribution for the poor treatment and neglect by those only ordinary rock bands you dedicated yourself to, so long ago…We shall give you the Rock star of the gods…
” Nate Bowman was gorgeous, and for some bizarre reason, he was really into her. She couldn’t have set this up to happen even if she tried. Not only did writing this book give her confidence and a bank account full of money, it gave her him!

It’s hard to say what came over her in that moment. It had been a long time since she had been impulsive, but now seemed as good a time as any to become that way again.

“Nate…” She said, unintentionally seductively.

“Carnegie” He replied, picking up on her tone.

“You can’t go without a shower… So my shower… now…I’m coming too.”

“You’re on!” Nate put his arms around her and picked her up easily. He carried her to the bathroom, and closed the shower door behind them as the mist began to form in the room. It was one of the best fifteen minutes of her life. It left a grin that would take days to remove from her face… if you knew what to look for.

Nate had gone back to his room, meeting up with Leonie who had been pacing the floor outside in the hall on the way. She was getting ready to barge in and steal him, in fear of missing that plane. It was almost funny hearing him being scolded by her. She felt like a school kid, busted after a prom, it was almost laughable.

Carnegie went in and told the twins she would be back soon. The little ones were still sleeping soundly, they wouldn’t even know she was gone. There was no argument from either of them, who were happy to just hang in bed a little longer. For them all it had been a massive three days.

On the way to the airport, Nate was trying to make sure, she knew how much she mattered, and was trying to find ways to reassure her, no matter what…She was a priority now.

“I’ll call you tonight. We don’t have a show till Wednesday, so I’ll call you. ok?” Nate was setting up a schedule to keep in touch.

“You don’t have to call me all the time… I’ll be fine.”

“I want to, besides I’ll be bored without you. I think I miss the kids already. Can I keep one?” He asked with a grin and a wink.

“No!” She said jokingly.

“Tell those girls to study hard.”

“Yeah it’s only trials, they will do fine. Don’t you worry, I’m all over it.”

They arrived at the airport with the fanfare of photographers and screaming girls, just as had been expected. Carnegie got out of the car, followed closely by Nate and Leonie. She turned to see if there was any luggage or anything about to be unloaded, like a normal person…arriving at the airport. It appeared there wasn’t any. She turned around and Nate was gone, lost behind a wall of fans, being pushed along by security guards and photographers. She tried to push her way through, just a little bit, just enough.

Nate turned around, realizing what had happened and he could just tell she wasn’t behind him. The separation between the two of them could almost be felt on a physical level. It was too late, he couldn’t go back, he had to keep moving forward till he was through security and on the other side of the crowd.

Carnegie found a chair and stood on it to watch as he walked away, out of her world, taking every part of her with him as he did. It wasn’t for long, she knew he would be back, he promised.

Right now she felt ripped off and hated the fans that were standing between them. She didn’t even get to say goodbye. Every inch of her body wanted to be on that plane with him. Every inch of her common sense, told her to brace herself. This wasn’t about to get any easier. She walked back toward to car, and the driver who was waiting patiently for her to do so. Time continues forward… Even when you wish it would stop.