The Universe is a Very Big Place (32 page)

Spring looked up at her sister and felt a wave of love rush over her. "You mean it?"

"Yes. People envy that about you. You wear torn dresses and cry in public. You don’t talk in that annoying nicey-nice voice to your children. You admit you’re in debt. Your hair is always a mess and sometimes your shoes don’t even match. You show your humanity and it is a sweet, endearing thing. Don’t knock it."

Chloe smiled at her until a
ding-dong
at the door caught her attention. She ran to answer it, one hand still fastening the towel in place. She returned with a package. "Toys for the bedroom," she smiled, holding up the plain brown box. "What’s really normal, Spring, is what we hide from the world."

Spring spent the rest of the afternoon with Chloe. She was reluctant to see Sam and to tell him that she was now without a job. As she pulled into her driveway she saw him, watering the lawn in white sneakers, black socks, a striped button-down shirt, and a pair of long denim shorts that flared at the hips, giving him an oddly pregnant profile. His thumb covered the mouth of the hose so that he could control the flow of the spray. When he saw Spring, he waved with his free hand and turned the water off at the spigot.

"Hi, Pookie. Just tending to things that need tending to." Sam kissed her on the cheek as she got out of the vehicle. Behind her, she heard a familiar rattle she recognized as Jason’s van. She skirted out of the way as he pulled in.

"Mommy!" Shane and Blaine shouted, tumbling out of the double-doors in the back of the van. There were two sleeping bags lying on the floor of the vehicle and Spring decided not to ask if they had been sleeping in them while Jason drove.

"Hello, beautiful," Jason said, as the boys ran in dizzying circles around them. Jason put the crook of his arm around Spring’s lower back and guided her to a private spot on the opposite side of the yard. She could feel Sam’s eyes burn into her back. "...We need to talk."

"One moment, please, Jason. Take the boys to Lanie. I need to speak to Sam real fast."
 

Jason nodded and rounded up the twins, herding them indoors.

"I don’t like him," Sam said. "The sooner we can get rid of him the better. Ever think of giving him full custody?"

"Sam!"

"I was joking, Pookie. Relax." But Sam’s eyes were still on Jason, watching him intently as he made his way into their home.

"Sam. I did something today. Something I’m afraid you aren’t going to like."

Sam turned his full attention to Spring. "You went and saw John."

"No!"

Sam fanned himself, relieved. "Then whatever you did couldn’t be that bad. Try me."

Spring fidgeted a moment. "I quit my job."

"What?" Sam threw open his arms in a gesture of incredulousness. The sun hit his bald spot, funneling a deep beam of light into his head and Spring worried he would fry.

"I couldn’t take it anymore, Sam. They are crazy. And now that Sarah’s gone and Kimberly wants me to be Casey, well, I just couldn’t go back." Spring leaned against her car defiantly and looked out over the endless horizon of tract homes. With the exception of Zara’s home, each was an exact replica of the last.

"Well, that’s just dandy. And how do you suppose we eat?" Sam’s hands reached down to comfort his belly as if it was already sensing the impending hunger pangs.

"We aren’t destitute. You still have a job. We have enough to pay the bills. We may have to cut down on the luxuries for a while."
 

Sam’s body began to quake. His whole body convulsed and Spring wondered if he were having a seizure.
 

"Sam? You okay?"

Finally, he composed himself and carefully formed the words. "What kind of luxuries were you thinking of cutting out exactly?"

Spring thought for a moment. There was no easy way to say it. "Coffees. Trips to the movies. Books."

The last word registered across Sam’s face, turning it the color of toothpaste. He turned and paced the length of their newly-watered lawn, hands clasped over his head like he were about to surrender to the cops. "It’s so nice of you to put things into perspective for us. So very fucking nice of you." Sam stopped in front of his car and fished around in his front pocket until he produced his keys. "I’m going for one last coffee before the apocalypse."

"Sam. Why are you so upset? You are going to get an inheritance soon?"

"That doesn’t help me today, does it?" Sam slammed the car door closed and started up the engine while Spring watched him drive away. She thought she saw him flip her off but she couldn’t be sure.

"What’s got his panties in a wad?” Jason asked, emerging from the house, his tan hands tucked lazily in his front pockets.

"Oh, that’s Sam. He gets flustered sometimes."

"What you need, my dear, is a laid-back man." Jason smiled playfully at her. "One who doesn’t freak out on you at every little thing."

"A laid-back, employed man would be nice," she teased.

"No such thing. Guess you are out of luck."

"Maybe I’ll be a nun, then. I’m already getting nun in the morning and nun at night." Spring snorted, remembering her father telling that same joke to his carnie friends. The thought made her smile now that she understood the meaning. He must have been teasing though, because she was sure that Lanie had quite the appetite even in those days.

"You’re in a good mood. Guess it’s the perfect time for us to have a little chat." Jason stepped in closer and Spring tried to ignore how he made her feel. Her hormones seemed to be going crazy lately. Maybe she should go to a doctor.

"What do you want, Jason? It’s been a long day and if you have more bad news I’d rather you commit me now, please."

"You’re growing testicles, Spring. That’s good. One person in a relationship should have a pair." He laughed and Spring elbowed him in the ribs. "I miss you, you know?" He didn’t speak again and she didn’t respond. It was a statement, not a question.
 

She missed him too, at times. You didn’t have children with someone and go through the trials of pregnancy and the pangs of childbirth and the joys of diaper-changing without missing that person who had been there with you. And in truth, he hadn’t been a bad boyfriend. He was simply someone she couldn’t count on to start a life with. A cloud above them shifted into a dozen tiny shapes before stretching itself into a thin line and disappearing.
 

"I’ve known you a long time, girl. I can tell when something’s bothering you."

Spring turned towards him, observing the way his long brown hair hung perfectly around his face. The ends were dipped in honey. Women spent hundreds of dollars to have hair like that. It didn’t seem fair.

"Jason, do you ever wonder how we got here?" Spring focused on a tall blade of grass, bending to the weight of three beads of water. She watches as one bead melted into the next, and all three pooled at the base.

"Well, I drove the van."

Spring smiled and rolled her eyes. She missed him more at times like this. "We used to have dreams. I was going to save the world and you were going to be a famous musician."

Jason nodded thoughtfully. "I haven’t given up on my dream." Jason pointed through the van window to a guitar that sat fastened securely in the backseat. "Have you? Jason’s lips formed into a thin smile, revealing dimples she forgot he had. She wanted to kiss him in that moment, but not because he was sexy. She wanted to kiss him because he was Jason.

"I hate to change the subject," he said, breaking the spell. "But I want to talk to you about the boy’s education. I’m tired of the teachers telling us how bad they are. I think we should give home-schooling a shot."

"Jason. You live in a van!"

"Yeah, well, no one’s perfect. But I heard about this thing called un-schooling. It’s like home-schooling but you don’t do anything. So the boys could travel around with me, seeing different things and experiencing the world, but I wouldn’t be teaching them, so it would be legal." Jason tapped his right index finger to his temple to indicate the brilliance in this plan.

Spring shook her head. "Jason. I don’t know what the hell you are talking about. I gotta go." She had almost felt a kinship with Jason again. Almost.

"We wouldn’t have to worry about schools and social workers and what-nots. At least think about it, okay? And you may want to find out what kind of drugs Lanie’s taking. It’s nothing I’ve given her. It might be menopause, but I doubt it. I’ve known some crazy menopausal ladies in my time, but she’s just...nuts."

Jason got into his van and cranked the engine three times before it decided to turn over.

I sure can pick them,
Spring thought, and wondered if being a nun was an option for a woman who had given birth to twins, slept with men who didn’t love her, and consulted spiritual advice from a woman who lived in her spare bedroom.

Lanie had been cleaning for hours, but no matter how much she swept, dusted, mopped or shined, it wasn’t clean enough. She had, in fact, scrubbed one spot on the carpet for so long that she had worn through the fibers and could see the padding beneath.

"Why won’t this spot go away?" She cursed the spot and the two boys, which she guessed were earthbound spirits, blinked at her and dashed away.

"Grandma’s crazy," said one of them.

"Yep," replied the other.

Her daughter entered the room. Lanie knew it was her daughter intuitively, but somehow the person walking through the door didn’t match up to her memories. When had her daughter grown boobies?

"Mom? You okay?"
 

The words sounded distant and muffled, like someone talking to her through a glass door. Lanie had to pay close attention to make sure they were coming from the daughter‘s lips and not from inside her head.

"This place is filthy. We live in filth!" Lanie scrubbed the spot again, tearing through the padding. The daughter came over and placed a hand on her shoulder. Lanie slapped it away. "Go get your father and tell him we’re out of elephant ears."
 

Her daughter’s eyes opened wide and she scurried away. Hopefully to get some goddamned elephant ears. How could they run a show without elephant ears?

"Did you hear that?" Lanie turned her head. Sirens. She was sure it was sirens. Where were they coming from? Lanie ran to the window and peeked outside, down the row of homes that looked so much alike she was sure she was hallucinating. "The fuzz is coming. Everyone hide your stash."

"What’s Grandma doing?" asked one of ghost children.