The Universe is a Very Big Place (36 page)

"You left me!" she accused, wiping her nose on his flannel shirt before he sat her down.

Daddy smiled and twisted the ends of her long hair in his hand. "I didn’t leave you. I would never leave you. You are Daddy’s girl." He looked at her for a long time and his blue eyes looked bluer than she had ever seen them.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Spring took his hand and they made their way together towards their trailer. Lanie was waiting with soup and hotdogs as Chloe shoved pork and beans up her nose. Spring lay her head on her father’s lap while he munched Fritos.

Chloe spent the afternoon with Spring, shopping for a wedding dress. Sam had given her two-hundred dollars to
go wild
. He wasn’t keen on Chloe shopping with her. He considered Chloe a bad influence, but he relented when she had threatened to go alone instead.

"Does he not understand that the only wedding dress you will find for that price is going to look like something from
The Rocky Horror Picture Show?"
Chloe asked as they left their third shop empty handed.

"I don’t think it matters what I wear," Spring said. "Sam’s reserved a place in line at some chapel, and it’s not like anyone will see us. We are spending the night in Sedona and then he’s whisking me away for a romantic honeymoon at Grandma Rosary’s house in Eggshell."

"An Eggshell Honeymoon," Chloe clucked. "Living the dream aren’t you, sis?"

"I like this one," Spring said, ignoring her sister’s comment as she pointed to a short, floral sundress in the next store. Spring found her size and examined the price tag. "One twenty-nine. Perfect."

"Sam’s gonna be pissed," said Chloe, as Spring emerged from the fitting room. Spring twirled and the skirt flared up in compliance, revealing a hint of her thigh. "So you get my seal of approval."

The girls took Spring’s package and made their way to a corner café. Spring had offered to buy Chloe lunch with the remainder of her wedding dress money.

"You don’t have to marry him," said Chloe as she picked through her salad, spearing a cherry tomato and popping it into her mouth. Her sister’s brown eyes misted and Spring saw a sincerity in them she wasn’t used to.

"It’s too late, Chloe. The wheel has been set in motion."

Chloe chewed, considering. "You aren’t going to lose the kids just because you aren’t married. This isn’t the Biblical days."

"It will make things easier on me. And Mom. And Blaine and Shane. I’m tired of struggling. It’s all I have ever done."

Chloe’s face reddened, and Spring wondered if her famous temper was going to make an appearance. "You’d rather settle than struggle?"

Spring turned her head and caught the image of a young couple holding hands outside. They were smiling at each other. Laughing. Looking into each other’s eyes. The woman stood on her tiptoes to kiss the man and he held the small of her back as their lips met.

"Ever have moments like that with Sam?" Chloe asked, pointing her fork in the direction of the two lovers.

"No," Spring said, feeling the ache of the honesty.

Chloe pressed on. "Ever had moments like that with anyone?"

Spring took a drink of water and swallowed. You couldn’t cry and swallow at the same time. A little trick the man who ate swords had taught her.

"Dad’s never coming back, Spring," Chloe said, putting her fork down and leaning across the table. "You gotta stop replacing him."

Spring was stunned. "I’m not replacing Dad. That’s not what I’m doing."

"Really? You get one guy who was a deadbeat. One who abandons women. And now a guy who treats you like a child. Roll them all up and who do you have?"

"Shut up, Chloe." Spring's fingers tightened and she attempted to keep her voice steady, but her words were shaky and staggered. "You don’t know what you are talking about?"

"Don’t I?" Chloe’s own voice trembled. "I know you think you’ve lost your perfect love, but there is no such thing as perfect. Perfect only exists in fairy tales. So, you didn’t end up with Prince Charming. Does that mean you run away with the toad? Even if he does promise you a castle?"

Spring stared at her sister for a moment, not sure how she should respond. She wanted to be more like Chloe. Wild. Reckless. Free. "You make things sound so simple."

Chloe winked at the waiter as he poured more water. "Sometimes things really are that simple."

Jason was there when she pulled into the driveway; sitting in the van, tapping his fingers on the dash in time with Lynard Skynard. The sun beat down hot, searing the lawn and withering what few plants existed, but Jason seemed unaffected by the heat. In fact, he looked comfortable. "Hey, babe," he said as she got out of her car. "Good to see you."

"How do you tolerate this heat?" she asked, fanning herself with one hand and tying her hair up in a knot with the other.

"I love the cleansing purge of the sun. The heat is nature’s enema." He smiled lazily, revealing surprisingly white teeth for a man who most likely did not own a toothbrush.

Spring smiled, relaxing in the presence of an old friend, until she smelled a suspicious aroma wafting from his vehicle. "I thought you gave that up," she said, crossing her arms.

Jason shrugged. "Hey, it’s from your garden. Your mom gave it to me." Spring looked in the direction of her house and shot an unseen Lanie a dirty look.

"Got the boys ready?" he asked. "I think I’m gonna take them to the hemp museum in Northern California this weekend. Everything there is made out of hemp. It’s the first lesson in my home-schooling curriculum."

"Jason. We need to talk."

Spring circled the van and climbed into the passenger’s seat. Jason sighed in anticipation of a lecture. "Is this a nagging session? Because you know I don’t get into the nagging sessions." Jason reached to adjust the volume on the radio, but Spring got to it first and clicked the knob to the off position.

"What’s gotten into you? Are you taking your mother’s estrogen pills or something?"

Spring glowered. He had a way of making the anger rise up in her. She took a moment to calm herself and then began. "Jason, things have to change. Blaine and Shane need better parenting than we are giving them. Unless we want to end up on the news someday then we..." She fanned her hand between the two of them, to motion that they were in this together. "...We need to fix this."

"You
are
on something," he said, a smile crossing his face. "Right on. Just don’t do it in front of the boys. That’s all I ask."

Spring gritted her teeth and tried again. "No, Jason. This is about the boys. They have no stability. You
live
in a car."

"Van," he corrected.

"A motor vehicle at a campground for hippies. That’s their home, half the month. You don’t discipline them. They don’t have a schedule. They don’t have any rules or boundaries. No wonder they are screwing up in school."

Jason shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Spring braced herself for his reply. "Now listen here, Little Miss Prim and Proper. Just because you’ve sold out doesn’t give you the right to lecture anyone. What rules do you have for the boys?"

Spring thought for a moment. She hadn’t meant to put this all on him but that’s how it was coming out. "God, Jason. I hate to say this, but I agree. It’s not only you. It’s both of us." Spring took a deep breath in and began to sob. "They are going to take Blaine and Shane away. Lanie was visited by a social worker. I know I’m a sucky parent who can barely keep her own life together let alone the lives of two children, but I love them. They’ve given me stretch marks. They’ve kept me up all night. They’ve given me a patch of grey hair..." She pointed to a spot on her head where she had noticed three white hairs seeding up recently. "...But I love them so much. I can’t lose them, Jason. They are all I have. We have to fix this."

Jason appeared flabbergasted. He glanced from Spring to the lawn outside of his window, and back to Spring. He tapped his knee thoughtfully and Spring could see that he was considering. Something. The moment was broken by the sound of Blaine and Shane rushing from the house. Spring slid out of the seat. "We could look into taking parenting classes together. For the boys."

Blaine and Shane dashed to the truck, their arms in the air, smiles on their faces. "Daddy!" they cheered as Lanie followed behind, complaining that they had broken the last working video game controller in the house.

Jason scratched his head with one hand, while opening the door for the boys with the other. "Yeah. Maybe. But let’s do baby steps, okay?"
 

Spring nodded and buckled in the twins.
 

He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I didn’t smoke anything today either, if that’s what you are worried about. I threw out Lanie’s shit. It’s terrible. Whatever she is using for fertilizer should probably stay in the cow. What you smelled is from a lady friend I gave a ride to."

"Bye, boys,” Spring said, blowing them kisses. They waved and bounced, protesting their belts.

"Let’s talk next week, okay? You listen to me, and I’ll listen to you. We’ve got to make this work." Jason saluted her with two fingers as he drove away.

Spring watched them go, feeling a sense of pride for the father of her children she wasn’t used to, interrupted promptly by Lanie.

"Is it okay if Buttermilk moves in for a few days? Bob’s gotta go out of town next week and the airline refuses to recognize pigs as service pets."

Spring shrugged. "Sure, Mom. Why not?

Twenty-Seven

Sam packed into his duffel bag a pair of jeans, a button-down shirt, a top hat (which folded down, accordion-style) and a shiny, black tuxedo. Spring watched the event through the mirror of her vanity as she combed her hair for bed.

"I heard you got your wedding dress." Sam zipped his bag and looked at her with a glint in his eye. Spring nodded and busied herself with a knot. Her hair was always tangled. Maybe she should have donated it to Kimberly.
 

"...I guess it’s bad luck for the groom to see it, anyway," Sam sighed when he realized she wasn’t going to speak of it, and went to retrieve his copy of
Bride Magazine.
He flashed her a photo of a teal gown, trimmed with peacock feathers. "Oh sweetie, I hope you got something like this," he said, tapping the page with his long, thin fingers.
 

Spring imagined them probing specimens on some intergalactic space mission. Maybe that was why he was so fond of the tuxedo; it was made from the same material as his mother ship.