The Unorthodox Arrival of Pumpkin Allan (11 page)

Read The Unorthodox Arrival of Pumpkin Allan Online

Authors: Suzie Twine

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Humor & Satire, #Humorous, #Teen & Young Adult, #Contemporary Fiction, #General Humor

BOOK: The Unorthodox Arrival of Pumpkin Allan
9.2Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

“Planning permission, what planning permission? I think mum’ll be the word on this one.” Annie tapped the side of her nose.

“Annie, what about old Charlie-boy? He’s bound to get wind of it and cause problems.”

“Oh Lois, where’s your sense of adventure? It’s all a game you see. I bet you fifty pounds he’ll know nothing about it, even when there’s a tenant living there.”

“You’re on!” said Lois. Annie and Lois shook hands, both confident they would win the bet.

 

 
13

 

On Thursday morning Lois was woken at six, by sunlight pouring through the window of Annie and Dave’s spare-room. Tom was perched on the edge of the bed, supporting his chin in his hands, elbows on the window ledge, gazing out of the window.

“Morning,” Lois said, joining him on his perch.

“Good morning to you too, the soon to be Mrs. Allan and Master or Miss Allan.” He stroked Lois’s tummy, Pumpkin responded with a little kick. “Incidentally, when are we getting married?”

“‘Incidentally’, what sort of an attitude is that?” Lois said, giving Tom a gentle poke. “You have to get down on one knee and beg me first!”

“Oh, is that all?” Tom slowly lowered himself onto one knee, squashed between the bed and the radiator, his ribs were better, but not that much better. Lois felt her cheeks start to glow red, anticipating the question she had been waiting for him to ask. “Ow,” Tom grimaced as he took Lois’s hand. “Lois, Lois, will you, please,” he paused, “move to the other side of the bed so I can do it properly!”

Lois laughed, “That was a bit of an anticlimax Tom!”

She moved to the other side of the bed, grinning broadly and sat on the edge. Tom lowered himself once again onto one knee. “Lois, I love you more than pie! Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife, as soon as we can get an appointment at the registry office?”

“Tom you are so romantic! How could I refuse? Yes of course I’ll marry you, and shall we have the reception at McDonald’s?” Lois laughed, “And the ring Tom, I expect you’ve bought me a beautiful ring?” she added sarcastically, knowing that the thought would not have crossed Tom’s mind.

“Now it’s funny you should say that Lo,” he said, easing himself up and fumbling in the pocket of his jacket which was hanging over the back of a chair. Lois’s heart started to race as he took out a black velvet box and opened it to reveal…….a child’s ring, silver coloured with a large red stone. Lois didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as Tom took her left hand in his plastered one and pushed the ring as far as it would go, which was the first knuckle, on her little finger.

“Tom, I’m speechless!”

“Well, Mel and I discussed this. I asked her if she would come and help me choose, but in the end we both decided you would probably rather choose it yourself. So, I’ve booked us an appointment at Le Posh Jewellers in Hatton Garden on Saturday, just in case you said yes.”

“So, when are we going to do the deed?”

“Before the Pumpkin’s due date I think. Don’t you?”

“Sounds good to me!” said Lois, beaming.

 

Having breakfasted together, Lois and Tom agreed that they would meet at the flat that evening and Lois waved Tom off.

Lois went back up to Annie and Dave’s spare room, propped herself up in the bed with a note pad and pen and wrote a list for the day, which was of course now complicated by the fact that she and Tom were getting married. She practiced saying ‘Lois Allan’ out loud a few times and then tried her new signature, smiling to herself. She and Tom had agreed they were committed to each other about a year after they met, when they decided to move in together. Then Lois had fallen pregnant the month after they started trying for a baby and she hadn’t really given a lot of thought to marriage; the commitment was there after all, what did a piece of paper and a ring mean anyway? But now that Tom had asked her, she was very excited. “Mrs. Allan,” she said out loud, just as Annie knocked on the door with a cup of tea in hand.

Annie looked mystified, “Who were you talking to Lois? I thought you must be on the phone.”

“No, I’m practicing my new name. Tom proposed this morning!”

“Oh Lois, congratulations!” Annie gave Lois a hug, “Actually, I didn’t realise you two weren’t married. Big white wedding?”

“Well, I’ll be big!” Lois smiled, looking at her ever-expanding midriff, “No, it’ll be small, just family and close friends.”

“Well if you need help with anything, let me know.”

Lois told Annie how Tom had produced the ring box, taking her by surprise and how it had a toy ring in it. She laughed as she recalled the story. Annie started to look pensive.

“I remember Dave and I having fun like that, not taking life too seriously. It’s sad that things have changed so much.”

“What’s changed?” asked Lois.

“Well, I suppose I’ve turned into the proverbial nagging wife and he’s responded by becoming a down-trodden husband.”

“I can’t believe that Annie, you seem to get on fine, you were both great fun at the dinner party.”

“Yes, I know we can be fun and perhaps I’m exaggerating a bit, but, I know that seeing how light hearted you and Tom are, just reminds me of how we used to be. We used to have so much fun, then the stresses of children, mortgages and money. I don’t know, things just slowly change, until, before you know where you are, almost all the fun has gone. I think it’s time for me to change my attitude and hopefully if I can stop being so negative, Dave will be more fun again.”

“Well they say being aware is the first step,”

“Yes, perhaps we could start a support group. ‘Hello, I’m Annie. I’m a nag. I haven’t nagged my husband for twenty two days.’” Annie and Lois laughed.

“Good plan and I will always be fun, respectful and never nag because I will have joined a support group before getting married!”

Annie suddenly noticed the time, said she had to dash and as she left said, “Gosh, I almost forgot, we’ve all been invited to Debbie and Richard’s for dinner on Saturday night. Seven thirty. Hope you can make it!”

 

Annie disappeared and Lois completed her morning to-do list, which consisted mainly of making phone calls, chasing up the telecoms company, organising a service for the boiler, ordering central heating oil and finding a roofer to come and sort out some loose tiles. Lois suddenly realised she had a roofer for a neighbour, she thought Adam was sure to do it for her, and maybe not even charge too much. The afternoon to-do list consisted of all the fun bits related to getting married!

Lois decided she had to approach the dull tasks in a determined fashion, procrastinating was only going to depress her.

Positive thinking worked a treat and having successfully completed her list, Lois locked up Annie’s house and went next door to see how things were progressing at Honeysuckle. As she walked in through the back door, Lois saw the house was looking more disheveled than ever. There was a thick layer of dust everywhere and holes in the walls where George and son had been drilling for the new wiring. Lois walked around checking they had noticed all her wall scribblings, earmarking where she wanted sockets and switches. She was pleased to see that George had added a few of his own, in places she had overlooked.

The “House Martins” were busy wallpaper stripping in the dining room. As Lois walked into the Lounge, she gasped. Dean was halfway up the stairs, scrutinising his work of the previous afternoon, when he had applied a bronze effect glaze, which had fortunately dried before George had started drilling. The staircase was looking amazing.

“Dean, it looks incredible! Wow, I can’t believe it’s the same staircase!”

“Yeah, I’m pretty pleased with it myself. Wasn’t sure it would work, bit of a gamble, but I think it’s going to pay off. I’ve just got to varnish it now. Best do that when the dust’s gone though eh?”

“Good thinking. Thanks so much Dean it’s really great!”

Dean then handed Lois a list that George had left for her, of extras needed for today. So she went straight out on a shopping trip. While she was in town she tracked down the registry office and organised a meeting with the registrar to set a date for the wedding.

She was as high as a kite when she arrived back at the house and decided to pop round and see Doreen and Jack.

 

Lois walked up the metal ramp to the front door and rang the doorbell to Bramble Cottage, remembering how apprehensive she’d felt on her last visit. She could hear a lot of shuffling behind the door, which was eventually opened by Jack with help from Ellie, who wiggled her welcome.

“Oh bugger off!” said Jack in enthusiastic recognition, gesticulating to her to come in. He had a lovely smile, albeit a little one sided, his welcome was so heart-felt; Lois felt she may laugh or cry at any moment.

Jack ushered Lois through to the kitchen. “Oh bugger off?” asked Jack, air drawing a T shape with his index finger.

“Yes please,” said Lois, hoping she had understood correctly, “milk, one sugar please. Can I help you make it?”

“Oh bugger off!” said Jack, shaking his head as he skillfully manipulated the electric wheelchair. He pulled a chair part way out from the small kitchen table and offered it to Lois using his hand and eyes to gesture. The kitchen had been redesigned for Jack’s benefit, with one of the work surfaces lowered with a kettle and sink on it.

Jack put the kettle on, then went to the back door. He unlatched it and without him saying anything, Ellie pulled on a short piece of rope that was tied to the door, and opened it while Jack used his only functioning hand to manipulate his wheelchair. Once part way through the door, he called out, “Oh bugger off!” in the singsong way one uses to call someone’s name. He must have then gesticulated T again as Doreen’s voice came back from the garden, “Ooh, yes please Jack, that would be lovely, I’ll be there in one minute.” Jack moved away from the door and went to make three cups of tea, while the dog nosed the door shut.

Doreen came in just as Jack was transporting three cups of tea on a tray attached to his wheelchair.

“Oh hello Lois!” Doreen said, enthusiastically. “How’s it going at the cottage?”

Lois bought Jack and Doreen up to speed on the progress at Honeysuckle. She felt very touched that they seemed to have a genuine interest in what was happening in her life. It occurred to Lois that these people lived life at a very different pace to that which she was used to in London.

“We’ve been so looking forward to an update on the Honeysuckle goings on, haven’t we Jack?” said Doreen, with Jack nodding eagerly. “But we don’t like to intrude.”

“Well you’re both welcome at any time, although, it has to be said, you might not want to call in for the next couple of weeks as the house really is in turmoil and dust everywhere!”

Ellie nosed up to Lois for a stroke, “How long have you had her?” she asked Jack.

“Oh bugger off!” he said as he held up one finger, then three fingers.

“One year and three months?” asked Lois, hoping she’d interpreted his signals correctly. Jack smiled, nodded and pointed his finger at Lois, to let her know she had got it right. Lois felt a huge sense of relief that she was able to understand him, so far anyway. 

“And she’s specially trained is she, to help you around the house?”

“Oh bugger off!” Jack nodded enthusiastically.

As they sat and drank their tea, Ellie lay down beside the wheelchair, watching Jack attentively.

“She’s changed your life, hasn’t she Jack,” said Doreen,

“Oooh buuger off!” said Jack, again nodding enthusiastically.

“She looks after Jack, picks things up for him, opens doors, is a constant companion and in return, Jack looks after her, feeds, grooms and walks her. All in all it’s a wonderfully symbiotic relationship. You were quite down, weren’t you Jack, before Ellie came along,”

“Oh bugger off!” Jack said, tossing his head back and giving a small tut.

“Then I read in a Sunday supplement about Ability Dogs for Disabled people, there was a whole article on the benefits and what a difference they can make to a person’s life. So I rang them, not really expecting any joy, what with Jack’s communication difficulties,” Jack shook his head with a smile, “but they said that shouldn’t be an issue, provided they could find him a dog that could respond to hand gestures and, she does, she’s brilliant, aren’t you Ellie!”

Ellie got up and wiggled herself as she approached Doreen, then when Doreen had finished fussing her, she went and lay back down next to Jack. “It must be almost time for her walk Jack,” said Doreen. Jack glanced up at the kitchen clock, then, in a similar tone to somebody saying ‘walkies’, Jack said a high pitched, ‘Oh bugger off!’ took Lois’ hand, shook it and waved a goodbye then reversed his wheelchair, pointed Ellie to the backdoor, which she opened for him and away they went.

“What an amazing pair they are!” said Lois to Doreen. She paused, and then added, “Do you mind me asking what’s wrong with Jack?”

“Not at all Lois. He had a stroke, let me think, must be about three years go now. We’d not long retired. He was quite overweight then. Had been a civil engineer, based up in London, a lot of stress, especially the last five years or so. Smoked a bit, no more than four or five a day. Anyway, Jack was in town, shopping, I never really got to the bottom of exactly what happened, but I got a call from the hospital to say he’d had a stroke and could I come into casualty.”

“Oh God, how awful!” said Lois, feeling as if she might cry at any moment.

“I was in such a daze Lois, I can’t tell you. I walked down to Annie’s to see if she’d drive me, I was in no fit state of course. She opened the door, thought I’d come for a cup of tea, welcomed me in and I just collapsed in her arms.

“Eventually I managed to splutter out what had happened. Then Annie took over. She made me sweet tea to drink while she prepared to leave for the hospital, fetching my bag and locking up this house, preparing her family and dogs for her absence, then taking me to the car. Oh Lois, I felt so sick. On the journey my mind was all over the place. He’ll be fine, they didn’t say it was a major stroke, he’ll recover. Oh God, he’s going to die. Back and forth, back and forth.

Other books

Controlling the Dead by Annie Walls, Tfc Parks
The Fraud by Brad Parks
The Pinstripe Ghost by David A. Kelly
Zero K by Don DeLillo
The Bridge by Zoran Zivkovic
The Memoirs of Catherine the Great by Catherine the Great
Perfect Pairing by Rachel Spangler