The Vincent Brothers 2 (20 page)

              Ashton: Okay

              I decided against sending Lana a text. I had a feeling I was probably in trouble because of the last text I’d sent. It didn’t explain things well but I was in a hurry to find Beau and get Ashton calmed down. Showing up and explaining was the best idea.

              Beau met me at the door of Ashton’s house when I got there. The serious expression on his face surprised me. Surely, he’d been able to clear things up with Ashton. Didn’t she believe him? 
              “Hey, things okay?” I asked, walking up the steps.

              “That depends on you,” Beau replied.

              “What?”

              “Ash is upset but not with me. She’s upset with herself. Running to you when she thought I’d cheated on her was her first reaction. It has always been the three of us. She didn’t think about going to anyone else. She just figured you would know how to fix it. You always did fix the messes we managed to get into. I’m warning you now that if you so much as blame, raise your voice or even look at her wrong when you walk in that house and hear what she has to tell you, that I will take you down. She got upset. She acted on instinct. What happened as a repercussion isn’t her fault.”

              “What in the hell are you getting at Beau?” I asked, starting to feel anxious as I pushed past him and into the house. Ashton was standing in the kitchen with swollen red eyes and chewing on her bottom lip.

              “What’s wrong with the two of you?” I asked in confusion. “I’m just here for Lana. Whatever other problems y’all have, I’m out. Fix them yourselves.”

              “Ohnoohnoohno,” Ashton started muttering. Her worried eyes lifted to look at Beau for help.

              “Just give it to him, Ash,” Beau encouraged gently.

              “Give me what?” I demanded. Then my eyes noticed the piece of paper dangling from her right hand.

              I walked over to her and snatched the paper out of her grasp. Perfectly scripted handwriting covered the page in what appeared to be a letter. Dropping my eyes to the bottom of the page Lana’s signature stood out at me and my heart stopped beating. Nononononono, please God no, I begged silently as I began reading.

Ashton,

              Let me begin by saying, thank you. I needed an escape this summer from the craziness that is my life. You helped make that possible. I needed to talk about my dad and how I felt and you were there for me. No one has ever been there for me before. Knowing someone cared was more precious to me than you could have ever imagined.

              But, I made the mistake of opening my heart up to someone who clearly could never feel the same about me. I knew Sawyer loved you. I’ve known it since we were kids. I thought maybe just getting his attention for a short time would be enough. It wasn’t.

              I’ve grown up with two parents who never once thought about me in the choices they made. My emotions weren’t something they concerned themselves with and maybe that is my fault because I didn’t speak up. I just pushed the hurt and anger deep inside me. I wanted to be strong because I knew they were weak. I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of being second best. I need someone to love me.

              Staying in Grove isn’t a possible option for me. I let myself hope for too much. I’ve been broken too many times. I can’t stay somewhere near... someone who will eventually destroy me.

              Please tell your parents thank you for me. I’m sorry I didn’t stick around for goodbyes and explanations but I think you understand why I had to go. You had the right Vincent boy all along. Don’t take him for granted this time. He loves you in a way that I hope to one day inspire in someone. He would give up the world for you. When you have someone that special, that incredible who loves you, don’t let it go. This is your second chance to treasure what you’ve had all your life. Sawyer was always the Vincent boy worth fighting for. He’s the special one.

Love,

Lana

              “She doesn’t say where she went? Did she go home? How did she get there?” I was going to throw up. Tears stung my eyes and I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn’t have time to cry like a damn baby. I needed to find Lana, NOW.

              Folding the paper neatly, I stuck it in my pocket and pulled out my phone.

              Her phone went straight to voice mail.
Shit
.

              “Did you try calling her? Have you called her mom?” I asked Ashton while trying her number again.

              “Don’t raise your voice at her. I know you’re upset but remember my warning. And for the record you’re not all that damn special. Just throwing that out there.”

              I didn’t give a rat’s ass about Beau’s warning. I needed to find Lana. “I’m not raising my voice. I need to find Lana,” I yelled, glaring at him as I slammed my fist against the brick fireplace. The pain wasn’t enough to numb the agony in my chest.

              “Sawyer, stop! You’re bleeding. Beau, do something,” Ashton’s worried voice sounded like it was coming down a tunnel.

              “WHERE IS SHE?” I roared, beating my fist against the wall trying to stop the tears blurring my vision. I had to find her. She needed me. Oh God, she needed me.

              Pressing both my palms flat against the brick, I dropped my head and let the tears roll freely. I’d lost her. I couldn’t lose her. She was so broken and I didn’t even know. I wanted to find her dumbass father and beat his face in until the ache inside me, from her words in that letter, eased. How could they overlook her? How could anyone overlook her?

              “Sawyer, we’ll find her,” Ashton said as a small choked up sob escaped her. “Beau, he’s crying. I can’t stand this. Do something,” she begged.

              “Why don’t you give us a minute, Ash?” Beau replied.

              I heard Beau whisper to Ashton and kiss her before her footsteps faded down the hall.

              “Man, you’ve got to get a fucking grip. You’re losing it and that shit ain’t gonna help nothing. Plus you’ve got Ash in tears.”

              He had no right to tell me how to handle this. I’d lost her trying to help
him
. 

              I pushed myself off the wall and walked away while I wiped the proof of my breakdown from my face.

              “Look, bro, I get it. You love her. I know that feeling real well. But crying like a fucking pussy ain’t gonna do one bit of good. We have to find her. It takes big boys to do that. Think you can dry up the well and help me think this through?”

              I froze and dropped my hands to my sides. What had he just said?

              Turning around I stared at him, “Did you just say, ‘I love her’?”

              Beau rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the doorframe. “Really Saw? You gotta ask me that?” He shook his head as if I were the biggest idiot on the planet. “Let me ask you something. When you lost Ash... did you cry? I know we beat each other up and you did a lot of yelling. But did you cry?”

              “No.”

              Beau nodded, “Did you want to? Or were you just mad as hell?”
              I thought back to those weeks after our breakup. I didn’t remember fighting back tears. Not once.

              “No.”

              “Didn’t think so. ‘Cause although you loved Ash, she wasn’t the one. When you fall for the one that owns you, she’ll be the only one that has the power to make you cry.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Lana

              “I’m not telling you where I am, Mom,” I repeated for the fifth time.

              “Lana Grace McDaniel! You are only eighteen years old. It’s dangerous for you to travel alone. I am your mother! I need to know where you are. Come home. Just, wherever you are, come home. Ashton has called three times and that Sawyer—”

              “No. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care. Just please, Mom, if you want to talk to me don’t bring him and Ashton up, okay?”

              “But they—”

              “I will hang up this phone and turn it off. Do you understand me?”

              I heard my mother’s sharp intake of breath. I’d never spoken to her like that before but I was tired of it. She never listened to me. She tried to control me. No longer. I was eighteen years old but I felt so much older. I always had.

              “Fine,” she snapped.

              “Now, if there is nothing else you’d like to say, I need to go. I’ll call you again soon. Trust me when I tell you I am completely safe. That’s all you need to know.”

              “If this is about your father—”

              “No, Mom, it isn’t about him. Not anymore. My decisions are about me. From here on out what I do won’t take into account what you or Daddy do or say.”

              My mother’s silence was so rare I wondered if she’d hung up on me. That would definitely be a first. Then, I heard a deep sigh.

              “Okay,” she finally said.

              “Okay,” I replied.

              “I love you, Lana. You know that, don’t you?”

              No, I didn’t know it. Not really. I wasn’t sure Mom understood the concept of loving someone else more than herself.

              “Sure, Mom. Love you too,” I finally said. I’d done enough as far as honesty went for one conversation. I did love her and I wasn’t sure she could take any more of the truth. 

              Pressing end, I went ahead and turned off my phone before dropping it in my largest piece of luggage. Not that I thought my mom was smart enough to trace me or anything. I wasn’t sure she’d even think about that method of finding me. I figured if I kept it off, unless I was checking in, then I was safe. Maybe I should buy one of those disposable cell phones and use it for calls from now on. I remembered an episode of CSI where that method worked.

              Shaking my head at my own scheming to keep hidden from my mom, I walked over to stand in front of the large window centered in the left wall. Jewel hadn’t been kidding about the view. I could see the pool to my left since we were on the bottom floor but straight ahead was nothing except white sandy beach and the Gulf of Mexico. I could stay here the rest of the summer. Figure things out. Heal. Then go back to Alpharetta and face my future. Maybe I could get a job or two that paid well. Save up for two years and then go to the University of Georgia. Not my first choice but it was better than staying at home and going to the community college. It would be more affordable to go to the state college than go off to Florida. Grimacing at my stupidity, I thought about all the things I’d sold on eBay once I heard the news Sawyer had signed with Florida. I figured, if I could save up enough money, my dad would help me. I’d applied, gotten accepted, and used the small scholarship I’d received from the local ladies’ club my mother was a part of to pay for my registration. I still needed so much more.

              Not that it mattered. I’d have never been able to go through with it now. Maybe it was fate’s way of stepping in and fixing my stupid planning. It wasn’t meant for me to be at the University of Florida. I wasn’t meant to be with Sawyer.

              “Hey,
chica
stop staring out at the gorgeous beach with that sad face and get your hot little pink bikini on and come soak up some sun with me.”

              I turned around to see Jewel standing in the doorway. Her long blonde hair was pulled up in a high ponytail and she was wearing a lime green string bikini that made her tan seem even darker.

              “What about your date? And what happened to you and Heath? I thought he was spending the summer here with you.” When she’d told me about her date with the lifeguard, I’d been so focused on breathing through my broken heart that I hadn’t processed her comment.

              She waved a hand as if batting away a fly, “He caught me with this beach volleyball guy that, like, plays on a pro-team. So hot, Lana, I mean
so
hot. And soooo worth it. Heath flipped his lid and left. It was for the best. We had just about squeezed all the good out of that relationship. Time to move on.”

              That was Jewel for you. She could jump from one guy to the next and never look back. Any guy who went into an exclusive relationship with her was just asking for trouble. Jewel couldn’t do it. However, she could be a friend. Maybe not the best one in the world but she’d been the only one I’d ever really had. Right now, she was a lifesaver.

              “Let me get changed and I’ll meet you out there in a few minutes,” I told her.

              She nodded and turned to walk away when I thought about my mom.

              “Hey, Jewel,” I called out.

              She turned back to look at me with that carefree expression she always wore like a crown.               “Yeah?”

              “Don’t tell my mom or dad I’m here if they call, okay?”

              Jewel nodded, “No worries. I’d want to hide from those two if they were my ‘rents too.”

              “And Ashton, if she calls... I don’t want her to know either.”

              Jewel’s eyes went wide in surprise, “Wow, really? What’d the ever perfect cousin you love so much do? I can so, go pull her pretty blonde hair if I need to. She’s a little too prissy perfect for my taste anyway.”

              Shaking my head, I couldn’t help but smile. Yep, Jewel might hit on the guy you like and dress slutty for confession in hopes of tempting the priest but she’d have your back in a fight if the chance ever arose. “Ashton did nothing to me. Still love her, just need some distance from Grove right now and everyone in it.”