The Virtual Life of Fizzy Oceans (24 page)

Just then, a gray haired guy in his late sixties or early seventies, comes riding up on a Harley and stops just in front of our café table. Somebody in the crowd shouts out, “That’s Jimbo Caruthers, the motorcycle investment guru!” A few breakaways surround the bike to hound the legendary investor for his autograph. And maybe even a VL stock tip or two!

“Hey, I don’t know anything. I’m just a simple old boy from Mississippi,” he humbly tells the small group of admirers. “I just rode in to hear what the ‘Mastermind’ has to say.”

“The Fed sold us all down the river,” says one of the signature seekers.

“Well, I tried to warn everybody,” says Caruthers. “I circled my wagons a few years ago when I saw the bubble about to burst.”

“And you were right on target, Jimbo,” says another.

“As always,” confirms a third.

“Just common sense, my friends,” says Caruthers.

“You told us to get our money out of dollars,” says yet a fourth admirer.

“I’ve got my money in commodities,” the guru reveals. “And I now live in Taiwan. I sold everything in the US a few years back—my house, my cars, all my investments—because I want my two little kids to grow up speaking Chinese. Seven eighths of all the money in the world is now on deposit in Asia. And it is also where most of the world’s goods are now manufactured. To me, as an investor, it’s only common sense to follow the money.”

“That’s why we’re here in Virtual Life,” says the first admirer.

“Well, I must admit that I never envisioned something like this,” says Caruthers. “Of course, Virtual Life, with the greenshoot as its currency, is nothing to scoff at either. There’s absolutely nothing unfounded about a culture coining its own money once a fiat currency has failed. So who’s to say that the greenshoot won’t become the world’s reserve currency? Of course, the question here is: Which world?” He laughs as he revs the bike’s engine for a spin around the stage where the ‘Mastermind’ is still waiting for full attention. “You’ll have to excuse me now,” Caruthers apologizes. Then he is off with a roar, skirting the perimeter of the mall and blowing the Harley’s exhaust into Sharky Overbite’s face.

As Caruthers makes his ostentatious exit, Kiz points out several other lofty figures in the crowd, each emulation representing a well-known and outspoken ‘contrarian’ in the economic battle. We see the emulation of Gerald Celente, noted futurist and investor, talking with the emulation of Peter Schiff, the CEO of Pacific Capital Management and author of the best selling book,
Crash Proof
. We also recognize the emulation of Wayne Paul, brother of Congressman Ron Paul the former presidential candidate, who is talking with the emulation of KRS-One, the activist, hip-hop rap artist. Yet these famous pundits somehow seem just a little conspicuous, especially considering that no one from the banking elite has bothered to show up. Apparently they want to distance themselves from the former chairman, who now haplessly, or perhaps unwittingly, plays the role of designated scapegoat, taking the brunt of the responsibility and the blame for the ever-broadening economic implosion and the resulting gangrene economy.

“I have to admit, this is pretty interesting,” I say to Kiz.

“Fizzy, money may not be your primary focus in PL, but the simple truth is that it impacts everyone’s life. Even here in VL!”

“Well,” I tell her, “its major impact on me is that I don’t have any.”

“If you think you don’t have any money now, wait till you hear what our ‘guest of honor’ has to say,” warns Kiz.

“You mean Daedalus Dunworthy?” I ask.

“Precisely!” she says. “Here he comes now!”

Dunworthy’s emulation depicts a large, broad shouldered man in his early to mid-fifties. His hairline has already receded, and his jowls wiggle as he speaks (nice touch, Daedalus). His posture reflects his fatigue as he slumps into a chair at our table. Thanking Kiz for the invitation to join us for the former Chairman’s first VL lecture, he turns to me and puts out his hand. “Happy to make your acquaintance, Fizzy Oceans,” he says. “I’m Daedalus Dunworthy of Radio Free America.”

“Happy to meet you, Mr. Dunworthy,” I return. “Welcome to Virtual Life!”

“Once a VL greeter, always a VL greeter,” jokes Kizmet.

“This is a first for me,” says Dunworthy. “Hope I don’t fuck up too bad.”

“Not to worry, Daedalus,” Kiz reassures.

“This is
your
world, gals. Whatever you say goes.” He takes a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes his brow before observing, “I see that Sharky has arrived and is about to define the very meaning of economic chaos.”

“And the hordes have gathered,” I add. I don’t know exactly why, but I like this guy. He’s not handsome, nor suave, nor cultured, but something about him just seems to shout ‘No bullshit!’ And honesty is perhaps the greatest of all virtues—at least in my book (lol)!

Of course here in Virtual Life we can never really know for certain just who is clicking the keyboard to maneuver and speak for each emulation. Those with a literal perspective might question whether it’s really Harlan Geltspinner projecting himself into the virtual world as Sharky Overbite, or if it’s somebody else presuming to impersonate him? The same goes for Jimbo Caruthers. We never know for certain who is the puppeteer. What we do seem to know from our vast experience in VL is that when everyday PL people try to portray celebrities (living or dead), the representation tends to be pretty authentic. The so-called actors (or actresses) often seem to have studied every nuance. Sort of like playing Napoleon in a stage play. Writers who admittedly never met or knew Napoleon have written the script through research and extrapolation, while each actor dons a costume and says the lines written for him, even as he might add his own interpretation, all the while remaining true to the character he is portraying. That’s been going on for centuries, since the Classical Greeks, and maybe even before them. So I suppose there is nothing so very different going on here in Virtual Life, which some have called the ultimate theater. No matter who we are in PL, or where we might live, or what we do for a living, the simple truth is that we all love a little drama.

“Economic interconnectivity and interdependency has contributed positively to an increased standard of living not only in First World countries, but also for those (poor schmucks) living in the backwaters of the world,” the ‘Mastermind’ begins his speech before being overcome with feedback from the mammoth PA speakers. The low hum echoes off the edifice of the VL Stock Exchange, and then compounds itself by degrees until everyone on the mall covers his ears to muffle the din. Finally, the sound engineer corrects the problem, and the speaker begins again.

“In my (interminable) tenure as Chairman of the Federal Reserve, I have observed the principle of ‘Constructive-Deconstruction’ to actually help economies to lift themselves out of (wretched poverty), and indeed, to enable a (fresh) economic paradigm (to service) free market capitalism. Some have called this new pattern of which I speak the ‘New World Order’, where others simply acknowledge it as a wholly natural phenomenon in economic evolution.” Again the feedback builds to drown out the lecturer. And not a moment too soon, it seems, because many in the crowd seem to bristle at the commonly recognized reference to the merger of world governments.

“We’ve seen the ‘deconstruction’ part of that equation,” an emulation named Moneybags Moriarty heckles, “so when does the ‘construction’ part kick off?”

“Fuck the New World Order!” calls Patriot Paulson.

“Just give us back our money!” demands Trendsetter Tam.

“And what about our jobs?” Good-deal Gobsmacked wants to know.

“And our factories…” adds Blue Collar Bobick.

“What about our farms?” asks Feral Freddie.

“My 401K is now .401!” screams Lester Leisure.

Sharky puts up his hand to call for quiet, but it takes a full five minutes for the uninvited comments to cease. “Sour notes from an old saxophone player,” chuckles Daedalus Dunworthy as a smile spreads over his lips.

“As determined by the Bretton Woods Agreement in 1914, which established the US dollar as the world’s reserve currency, and which was sanctioned by the major economic powers of the time and signed and endorsed by President Woodrow Wilson, it is the job of the Federal Reserve Chairman and the Board of Governors to establish bank to bank interest rates, and to regulate the flow of money within the greater economy. By either increasing or diminishing liquidity into volatile economies, the Fed controls not only the flow of investment capital, but also the flow of goods and services between countries. Further, the Fed has found it useful in recent times to employ various strategies to stabilize exchange rates between the world’s currencies. No longer constrained by the gold standard—”

“Traitor!” screams a voice in the crowd.

“Thief!” calls another.

“Oligarch!” yells a third.

“No longer constrained by the gold standard…” Feedback. Feedback. Feedback…

“Every month, two hundred thousand jobs disappear!” screams yet another person in the crowd. “How are we supposed to pay our mortgages? How are we supposed to buy food?”

“This is getting ugly,” I say to Kiz and to Daedalus.

“Not nearly as ugly as the results of Geltspinner’s policies,” says Daedalus. “In essence, the hecklers are right as rain. The media has always referred to the Fed as if it were an arm of our government, but in reality the Federal Reserve is about as ‘federal’ as Federal Express. It is actually a private banking institution controlled by the world’s wealthiest bankers and sanctioned by First World governments to further their special interests in Third World resources. It is essentially the financial arm of hegemony. Of course the spin is something much, much different. Now, the great ponzi scheme has come unraveled. The United States, Great Britain, Italy, Portugal and Spain have all defaulted on their debts. The dollar has essentially crashed, and new currencies are springing up left and right. People still have to eat, still need to purchase essential goods. Life goes on.”

“No longer constrained by the gold standard…” Feedback. Feedback. Feedback…

A chant arises from the crowd gathered in front of the stage: “Give us back our gold! Give us back our gold! Give us back our…
gold!
”

“Wait! Wait!” Sharky begs the hecklers.

“
Give us back our gold! Give us back our gold!”
the mantra continues.

“Wait! I have something better,” the former Chairman barks into the microphone. He opens his fat briefcase and produces a thick wad of bills. “Here!” He holds the roll above his head for all to see. “This is
real
money,” he declares. “American dollars backed by the US Government! What could be better? Take them!” he implores as he flings the bills into the air. “They’re all yours!” The bills rain down upon the crowd. His laugh is pure gravel. “Don’t worry, there’s plenty more where these came from,” he assures the masses. “Spend them on anything you want,” he tells them. “Anything at all!” His expression is smug. “Just spend, spend, spend!”

The Mastermind’s speech has apparently ended abruptly; the repercussions of his policies, on the other hand, remain obvious and strangling.

“The populace may be unhappy—maybe even to the point of civil unrest or even revolution—but there’s no turning back now,” Daedalus explains. “World governments have been blackmailed by bankers and by huge corporate entities into embracing globalization, and Harlan Geltspinner’s concept of ‘Constructive-Deconstruction’ is now the standard of globalization. Of course the process has caused considerable turmoil in the financial markets. One million workers are either hired or fired each week. As we have seen, mostly fired. One economic bubble after another is created: high tech, telephony, housing, and derivatives. As each bubble inevitably bursts, the world’s bankers flood the market with liquidity—new paper money fresh off the printing press, backed by absolutely nothing, which increases the M1 money supply and creates inflation. But as long as this phony money flows into the banks, which in turn loan the money to finance the oligarchs and derivatives swindlers, all appears well. Investment portfolios show casino economy gains, goods remain cheap and plentiful. But it is a bottomless pit. Think about it: one quadrillion in derivatives losses, and still nobody seems to have found the true bottom…

“The real problem is that most of the goods manufactured in Asia are consumed in the West and paid for not with real money, but with IOU’s in the form of government-backed Treasury Bills—financial instruments that require eventual payment with interest. That is the trade deficit. Half a billion dollars a day in interest: that is the US Government’s current obligation to China alone.

“Of course an inflated currency—or even a virtually worthless one—makes the debt easier to service. Does the US Government ever really expect to pay back all this money it has borrowed? Of course not! At least not with money that actually has real worth. And what about the Chinese? Do they expect the loans to be repaid? I doubt it. The Chinese are not dumb. Nor are they naïve. They know the money is virtually worthless, and they also know that they are, for the time being, stuck with the dollar as the world’s reserve currency—the single currency used to settle debts on the world commodities exchanges. Still, this trading of worthless paper keeps their factories running at capacity. And it keeps their middle class growing. Which is the true nature of the game. Sooner or later, the Chinese will simply write off all this American debt, stop shipping products to countries that can’t pay for them with a meaningful currency, and then tap the new Chinese middle class as a market for their production. If you think about it, that’s exactly what made the American economy so strong for so many years. Now, our infrastructure is either dilapidated, or it has been dismantled altogether. All those lost jobs are nothing more than birds migrating to a more favorable climate.”