Authors: Melissa Nathan
Dan glanced behind her into the room before speaking. It transpired that Sandy had set off a phone chain round the hotel to all her friends, pleading with them to pop up in turn and see her before the ceremony.
Katie’s eyes widened. ‘But I’ve just found
Big Brother Live
on Sky TV.’
‘Wow!’ said Dan. ‘Hard to resist. Or we can go and see Sandy before she gets married.’
She gave a squeal and a little jump before instructing him to wait outside for two minutes while she got dressed back into her travelling clothes. When she opened the door again, he went off at some speed down the corridor, only talking to check if she’d told Hugh and left the name of the next person on the chain for him to call. Of course she had.
Sandy’s door was ajar and, as they approached, the moment suddenly overcame them. They gave the door a tentative knock and pushed it slightly.
The room was vast with an enormous double bed and there were flowers and presents strewn everywhere. In the background,
Big Brother
was on and three women in big hats, flowing dresses and stiletto heels stood watching it intently. As a toilet flushed in the bathroom, the woman in the middle zapped off the television and flung the remote somewhere on the bed. Then all three turned round and spotted the newcomers.
‘Hello!’ said Katie quickly. ‘I’m Katie.’
‘And I’m Dan.’
‘Aha!’ said Sandy’s mum, clapping her hands. ‘I’m Barbara. You must be Katie Simmonds and Daniel Crichton! Table 12. By the bay window. We had a last minute shuffle after Geraldine Harris phoned in sick and Maxine White brought David Barker along. It means Uncle Bob’s now near the band, but he’s deaf so he won’t notice . . .’
‘We don’t know what we’re going to do with her after the wedding,’ confided Barbara’s older sister and they all laughed, a little too loudly.
The bathroom door opened and Sandy stood framed there.
Katie gasped. She’d never seen a bride this close up before. The dress was an exquisite tight, beaded number in ivory silk. The bride’s face was magnolia.
‘
Look
!’ exclaimed Barbara in a high-pitched voice. ‘Daniel Crichton and Katie Simmonds! Table 12, near the bay window!’
Sandy stared at them. ‘Hi,’ she said weakly.
Barbara nudged her sisters and they hustled past Katie and Dan, with manic grins. Barbara stopped when she got to them and in a stage whisper said that the bride had a few pre-wedding nerves, and then closed the door behind her with a resounding click.
Sandy stared at them. Her hair was up in a bun, tiny white daisies round its base and a short veil hanging down to her shoulders, with matching daisies sewn into its hem. She was about half the size she’d been at her engagement party. Her collar bone looked as if she’d swallowed a hanger and a patchwork of blue veins showed through her
almost
translucent skin. Her large blue eyes suddenly filled with tears.
‘What the fucking fuck am I doing?’ she whispered.
Katie ran to her and, stopping short of hugging her in her dress, squeezed her bare arms. Dan stood frozen to the spot as Katie slowly guided the almost paralysed Sandy over to the bed.
‘I mean,’ she breathed, sitting on the bed. ‘For fucking fuck’s sake . . .’
‘You’re going to be fine,’ soothed Katie.
‘Maybe today,’ whispered Sandy, ‘But what about tomorrow? And the day after that? And next year? And the year after that? I need a cigarette. They’re on the table.’
‘You’ll be fine,’ said Katie, passing her the pack.
‘How do you know?’ Sandy’s hands shook as she lit up. ‘I mean you’re not exactly Commitment Queen yourself, are you?’
‘Sweetheart,’ soothed Katie, ‘I won’t take that personally.’
‘I didn’t mean it personally,’ Sandy held her hand tightly and took a deep drag on her cigarette. ‘I’m in shock.’
‘I know. You’re doing fantastically. You just have to take it one day at a time.’
‘He doesn’t shower before he goes to bed.’
‘Who doesn’t?’
‘The man I’m about to marry.’
‘Simon?’
‘That’s it.’
‘Well, tell him to.’
Katie looked over to Dan for support. He was still where she’d left him, rooted to the spot, and staring rigidly at Sandy.
‘How can I?’ asked Sandy. ‘I’m about to publicly relinquish all rights.’
‘No you aren’t!’ said Katie forcefully. ‘You’re about to publicly declare how much you love him.’
‘Same thing.’
There was a pause as Sandy inhaled deeply.
‘You look stunning,’ said Katie.
‘Thanks,’ said Sandy, flicking ash on the carpet. ‘Bloody should do, it cost three grand. Every bead cost twenty pounds.’
‘They are the most
beautiful
beads I have ever seen,’ smiled Katie. ‘I was going to say.’ Sandy managed a smile too.
The door opened and Hugh bounded in, a smile on his face and a lilac bow-tie at his neck. He clapped his hands in delight.
‘Here she is then!’ he boomed. ‘The blushing bride! Ready to swear Love and Obedience?’
A bit later, Dan sat in his suite staring at the television. He really should turn it on, but he couldn’t be bothered to find the remote, and anyway, his headache was getting worse. In fact, he was still feeling a bit nauseous from the journey. Jesus, he thought. What was all this sickness? First Nik, then Geraldine, now him. Maybe there was something going round. Life, he thought bitterly. His bones ached. He kept thinking he should get up and shower for the wedding, but then he visualised
Sandy’s
rigor-mortis-in-ivory look and felt sick again.
Seeing her like that had hit home to him with the force of a wrecking ball: he, Daniel Crichton, was getting married. His girlfriend, whom he had actually finished with once precisely because he had thought – had
known
– she was not the woman for him, was this very afternoon flicking through photos of wedding dresses with his mother, maybe even trying some on. He was going to share his surname with her. He would be giving her a part of himself, turning them into one entity.
Why? Why was he getting married, he asked himself now, repeating the words over and over again until they lost all meaning. Was he scared of life without Geraldine? Or just scared of life without anyone?
Oh God, what had he done? He started to rock to and fro as real panic began to rise inside him. No, he would keep a grip. He would concentrate. Think this through. He stood up suddenly and started pacing.
It was OK to marry out of fear, he told himself. After all, wasn’t fear what made most people marry? Fear of being alone, fear of being an outcast, fear of never being loved. Look at Sandy. She was fucking terrified. He felt cold all over. No. Get a grip. He started pacing again. It was OK to have doubts, he told himself. After all, didn’t everyone have doubts? He paced a bit faster. Anyway, everyone knew marriage wasn’t what it used to be. It was rarely for life any more. Divorce wasn’t the stigma it used to be. He could safely be married for ten years, divorce Gerry and still be able to have a family with someone else. He stopped still. Shit. That was not the attitude to go into marriage with.
He leant against the window frame and stared out into the gardens, letting his eyes fix on the leaves of the magnificent oak tree gently swaying in the summer breeze. If that tree could talk, he thought to himself. How many men had worried about their future in its shade? How many of those doubts had been futile? He shifted his gaze to the drifting clouds behind it, their shapes fluid. He watched them for a while. Feeling a bit calmer, he told himself there was nothing he could do now anyway. Just enjoy the wedding. And get drunk. Then he looked at the clock and walked into his bathroom.
Meanwhile, Katie was standing, eyes shut, shoulders bare, the sound of Hugh’s soft breath sending shivers down her spine. As she felt his fingers on her shoulder blades, her whole body shuddered.
‘Nearly there,’ he whispered.
He made a small, guttural noise and she let out a moan.
‘One more minute,’ he said. ‘God I’m out of practice.’
‘Shall I turn round?’
‘No.’
‘I don’t want to be late.’
‘I never had to do this with Maxine.’
Silence.
‘
Aha
!’ he cried. ‘Done it!’ He stepped away from her. ‘Top button done up.’
Half an hour later, she was standing in the lounge of her suite phoning Sukie. She would not be sitting for the rest of the day unless absolutely necessary. Her dress only flowed from the hip; above the hip it clung to her small
frame
with the determination of a teething baby clutching its mother. If this dress could have got under her skin it would have. Her body wasn’t so much wearing any underwear as eating it. Her diaphragm was wondering who’d turned out the lights. Any food that hadn’t passed through her body yet only had itself to blame. This was a tight dress.
‘Your voice sounds funny,’ said Sukie. ‘Are you in The Dress?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you look tiny?’ Sukie was grinning.
‘Yes.’
‘How tiny?’
‘I’m Thumbelina.’
‘Ohmygod,’ said Sukie. ‘You look so gorgeous in that dress. Do your boobs and bum look big and small at the same time?’
‘Yes.’
‘You are
so
gonna score.’
‘I doubt it. I can’t bend.’
Sukie’s audition had gone well. This time the director had discussed his philosophy at some length and even asked her for some ideas. He asked her for ways she thought they could add humour. She’d said, ‘Put in some jokes’, which she thought they found quite amusing.
Then, at the sound of a long, low wolf whistle, Katie’s conversation had to come to a close. Hugh was waiting. She said her goodbyes to Sukie, clicked off her phone and collected her sequinned shawl and purse.
‘Right,’ he said, his face suddenly grim. ‘Ready?’
She nodded. ‘You?’
He nodded too. She went up to him and laced her arm under his. ‘You’ll be fine,’ she said. He gave her a smile and, together, they went down to the wedding.
20
Dan sat as near to the back as he could. He didn’t want to block anyone’s view and felt somewhat soothed by the thought that he was near the exit. He kept having flashbacks to Sandy in her room and felt like shit in a suit – a nice suit, but that seemed irrelevant right now. He looked down at it and gave it an almost nostalgic smile. This would probably be the last time he wore it. Geraldine hated it.
Gerry! He’d forgotten to call her and find out how she was. He looked round the room and gauged that he’d still have time to rush back upstairs and phone her – he hadn’t brought his mobile down with him. He stood up and apologised to the guests shifting in their seats to let him out.
As he slowly closed the door behind him, the sound of the string quartet dimmed. He sped across the thick-pile carpet, to the sweeping stairs and then stopped. At the top, coming towards him were Hugh and Katie sharing a joke. Katie wore a golden corset with ball-gown skirt, her hair covered in glitter, skin the colour of warm honey, cheeks flushed. She was holding up her skirt and he could see
flashes
of gold shoes and slender, bronzed legs. He felt like an intruder.
‘Hello!’ called out Hugh breezily.
Katie looked at Dan and stopped. He forced himself to keep on walking up and greeted Hugh. Katie came slowly down towards him.
‘Aren’t you going the wrong way?’ asked Hugh.
‘I forgot to phone –’ he stopped. He looked at Katie who was now level with him, her autumn eyes smiling.
‘Hello,’ she said.
‘Hi.’
‘Let’s all sit together,’ said Hugh. ‘I’m bricking it. Could do with the moral support.’
‘Hugh’s ex is here with her new man,’ explained Katie, her shoulder almost touching Dan’s.
‘Oh right,’ he said. ‘Awkward all round then.’ He paced up a step or two, until he was standing above Katie.
‘Did you see a woman in lilac?’ Hugh called up to him.
‘Er . . .’ He racked his brain, noticing some freckles on Katie’s right shoulder. ‘Er . . .’
‘Answers to the name of Mad Max,’ added Katie, turning up to him.
He readjusted his eyes. ‘Don’t remember.’
Katie glanced away.
‘You’re cutting it fine, aren’t you?’ asked Hugh, checking his watch. ‘We’re late. Would have been earlier but I got a bit waylaid doing up Katie’s dress, if you know what I mean.’ He gave him a man-to-man wink above her head.
Dan raced up the stairs as he heard Katie give a phoney
gasp
of shock. ‘Save me a place,’ he called back down to them. ‘I’ll be back in a sec.’
He ran all the way to his room and just stood there for a while.
There was no way he’d have time to phone Geraldine now. What had he been thinking? He couldn’t be later than the bride. Poor Sandy was nervous enough as it was. He would just have to tell Geraldine they only arrived with an hour to spare and that he had to go and see Sandy before it had started. How the hell was she to know? What she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her, right? He paced to the window overlooking the oak tree. His mobile phone was on the desk there. He’d text her. Brilliant.
Got here late. Journey hell. Speak asap. Love Dan
He shut the door behind him and ran back to the wedding.
The ceremony was in a small oak-panelled room looking out on to a rose-filled garden. To one side at the front perched the string quartet, solemnly bowing their instruments, and in the guests’ seats family and friends exchanged intrigued glances.
Katie and Hugh, at the back on the bride’s side, scrutinised the other guests. Hugh nudged Katie and pointed to a large lilac hat about third row from the front, but Katie shook her head and pointed out a smaller lilac hat only one row ahead of them, just over to their right. Maxine turned round and gave them both a quick yet effective all-in-one glance before turning back only
halfway
, to half face the front. To anyone else, this would look like a guest preparing herself for the entrance of the bride. To Hugh and Katie, it looked like she was keeping them in the corner of her eye. Hugh insisted on keeping a place for Dan on the other side of Katie. Katie started trying to feel her top button. If only she was here with a girlfriend. She didn’t want to ask Hugh with Maxine this close, but she didn’t want Dan to sit next to her before she was sure her top button was done up. She had definitely caught him looking at her back. It was either a spot or she was coming undone. The door behind opened and all eyes turned towards it. Katie felt Maxine’s eyes bore into her back. It wasn’t Dan, but the next one might be.