The Waitress (34 page)

‘Can you check my dress is still done up,’ she finally whispered to Hugh. She felt him lean right in and give her back a pretend nuzzle before whispering in her ear seductively, ‘Perfect.’

She gave him a look. She could see Maxine in soft focus behind him.

‘What,’ she said in a slow, firm whisper, ‘the arsing hell do you think you’re playing at?’

‘Have you seen David sitting next to Maxine?’ Hugh smiled warmly at her, his eyes brimming with affection. ‘He’s got a white bow-tie on. Tosser.’

‘That is no reason to look at me as if you’ve just proposed marriage,’ whispered Katie firmly.

There was a cough behind them and they jumped and turned to see Dan standing there. He threw Katie a rather dry look. She did her best to throw it right back at him.

‘I don’t want to interrupt anything private,’ he said, ‘but is this seat taken?’

She went red to her roots. ‘See?’ she shot back at Hugh. ‘We look like a frigging couple.’

‘No we don’t.’ Hugh gave an affected laugh and tapped Dan on the shoulder, leaving his hand on the back of Dan’s chair, so that his arm was now round Katie. It was only the fact that she couldn’t bear to humiliate him in front of Maxine that stopped her from slapping it. ‘Do we look like a couple?’

‘
Hugh
!’ hissed Katie.

‘Why?’ asked Dan. ‘Trying to keep it a secret?’

Hugh laughed again, this time loud and long. Katie could swear she heard Maxine whisper something to David, but she couldn’t see them because Hugh was now completely blocking her view. In fact, he was practically sitting on her lap.

Suddenly the string quartet started playing ‘The Arrival of the Queen of Sheba’ and the guests rose. Thank God, thought Katie. She turned to look at the bride, and caught a glimpse of Dan staring straight ahead. He was almost as pale and stiff as Sandy had been earlier. At the memory of Sandy, a sudden knot formed in her stomach. This was the first of her friends to cross the big divide in their big white dress. How on earth had Sandy known this was the man for her? She looked ahead to the groom, who was now turned to face his bride, a self-conscious smile on his face. Was Sandy going to be all right? She hopped from foot to foot, trying to make out the bride through the guests’ heads, nervous of how she would appear.

Then she saw her. She had expected Sandy to look either rigid with fear or rigid with stoicism; either way rigid. Instead here was a glowing, radiant bride bestowing
sunshine
smiles on all her friends and family, giving little waves to a lucky few. Where was the smoking, shaking, swearing girl from the hotel room? Sandy caught Katie’s eye and gave her a smile of such love and hope that Katie felt a sudden uplifting, like a glider being carried away. She trusted Sandy’s future, romance, luck and life. She loved everyone in the room, she loved her parents and her pets, she loved Sukie and her job and she wanted Hugh and Maxine to fall back in love. Weddings were life-affirming miracles. She wondered how long Sandy would wait to start having children. Sandy would be a mother! She would create a new person, a new life, a new journey, a new miracle.

Hugh handed her a tissue.

Then, Sandy approached the altar (which was groaning with daisies) and gave a modest look down before meeting the gaze of the man she’d pounced on in a drunken bet at a party. She turned and demurely handed her bridesmaid her bouquet and slowly lifted her veil. Sandy was every inch the bride. Gone was all uncertainty. Sandy was a woman now.

Standing in the rose-garden, only forty minutes later, Katie could hardly get a word out of Dan. He downed his champagne like a man dying of thirst and barely joined in the conversation that Hugh was forcing on them both, just loud enough for Maxine to hear. Everyone’s eyes were fixed on the glowing bride as she flitted from group to group. Finally, she reached Katie. They screamed at each other and gave a little jump in the air. Katie asked her how she felt. Sandy felt wonderful, she was walking on air,
she
had never been so happy. Katie squealed with excitement. What was it like being a bride? Wonderful, it was the happiest day of her life. Katie squealed with excitement again. What was it like wearing a dress like that? Wonderful, it was like being a fairy princess, she was walking on air. Katie squealed with excitement. And-and-and what was in that perfect, beaded purse she was carrying? Sandy stopped for a moment, frowned and then opened the bag.

‘Painkillers, ciggies, tampons.’

Katie stopped squealing.

‘My head’s killing me,’ sighed Sandy. ‘This bun’s agony, I’ve got such bad period pains, and I’m
dying
for a fag.’ She gave Katie a smile. ‘Apart from that,’ she beamed, ‘I’m walking on air.’

Katie, Dan and Hugh quickly became a threesome. And then, almost as quickly, they became a drunk threesome. Champagne was served for two hours while the photographs of the bride and groom, bride and groom’s family, all the men, all the women and all the cousins twice removed, were taken. Any canapés there were, were being offered too far away and never made it through the crowds to them, or else passed by too fast and they just didn’t catch them in time. Katie and Dan tried to persuade Hugh to talk to Maxine, but he was having none of it. ‘I’m far too busy being happy for her,’ he kept saying, until eventually they found this quite funny.

When they all slowly made their way to the table plan, Katie started getting nervous, and, as she reached it, she
discovered
she had every good cause. Not only was she on the same table as Hugh, but she was on the same table as Dan, Hugh, Maxine and Maxine’s new boyfriend David. Hugh was sandwiched between Katie and Maxine, Katie between Hugh and Dan. David was next to Maxine. The other three people on the table had no idea of the minefield they had stepped into.

Hugh, Katie and Dan stood at their table, staring at their place-names in disbelief. Just as they were wondering what could possibly be said about it, Maxine and David arrived. Everyone pretended not to see each other. Then Hugh turned to Katie, his back to Maxine, ‘Thank goodness we’re together,’ he murmured in her ear and, one hand in the small of her back, one on the back of her chair, he guided her into her seat. As she sat down, she could have sworn she saw Maxine giving her the evil eye. Oh great, she thought. I’ll be dead by Wednesday.

It was Katie who started the conversation. She thought she was doing the right thing, thought that if she broke the ice, it would all be OK. After all, this was a wedding – there were daisies in the middle of their table and everything.

‘Hi there,’ she called across Hugh to Maxine in a voice she hoped was open and friendly. ‘Long time no see!’

Maxine gave her a level look before blanking her and looking at Hugh.

‘Didn’t take you long to get over me, did it?’

Katie felt her eyes sting at such an obvious rebuff. She wouldn’t have minded, but from Maxine White! She of
the
pointless questions in lectures, of the shoulder blades like pistons, of the etc. Humiliation coursed through her body.

She heard Hugh answer back: ‘As I recall, it didn’t take you any time at all.’ Katie could feel his left foot twitching with tension under the table. ‘Oh yes, I forget,’ he went on. ‘We’d just finished decorating the house and the carpenter had just gone.’ He looked across at David. ‘Hi there David! Nice to see you again.’

David nodded, coughed and looked away.

‘We’re just friends actually,’ said Katie quietly.

‘Hey,’ Dan leant forward. ‘It
is
a wedding, guys.’

Maxine looked at him while the others all looked at their plates. She turned back to Hugh. ‘So, was she always there in the background?’

‘She?’ croaked Katie, her voice catching.

‘Oh that’s right,’ boomed Hugh. ‘Tar everyone with your own . . . broom.’

The band struck up and everyone was asked to be upstanding for the bride and groom. In came the joyful couple, to thunderous applause. They made their way through the room to the top table where they sat down. Delighted, everyone took their seats again.

‘You mean brush,’ Maxine hissed at Hugh so loudly that three tables stared at her. She sat up straight and swept her long hair over her shoulder.

‘Well,’ smiled Katie to Hugh. ‘That told you.’

Maxine whipped back to face Katie, her eyes two thin slits of hatred. ‘This is between me and Hugh,
thank you
.’ Katie was about to say there was no need to thank her; it had been a pleasure, when Dan butted in again.

‘Actually,’ he said. ‘It’s affecting all of us and we’re all here to enjoy a wedding. If you want to have a row, please go somewhere and have it privately.’

‘Who the hell is this?’ Maxine asked Hugh. ‘Judge Judy?’

Katie laughed despite herself. She turned to Dan and raised her eyebrows.

‘Ooh yes,’ she said. ‘That works.’

‘Oh
look
,’ Maxine pulled a sickly face that was half-grimace, half-smile. ‘She’s playing one off against the other. Just like back at college.’

Katie could barely breathe for shock and hurt. She waited for someone to put Maxine in her place, but the deafening silence was only broken by three loud cheers for the happy couple.

Not much food was eaten at table 12, but the wine went down in a flash. By the end of the meal and speeches, no one cared who was angry with whom. They were at a wedding and the drink was free.

Then the dancing began. Katie was not surprised when the three other people from table 12 escaped to the bar. Dan immediately left to go and chat to the bride and groom, abandoning her to Hugh, the madwoman and the carpenter. Katie squared herself up for round two, but the carpenter stood up, put his hand out and Maxine graciously rested her hand in his, stood up and they took to the dance floor. Katie and Hugh looked at each other, exchanged glassy smiles and then watched Maxine and her new man. The couple strutted out as if they were on
Come Dancing
– Hugh and Katie started to snicker – and
then
, to everyone’s surprise, they stood opposite each other on the dance floor and were transformed into King and Queen Salsa. They were mesmerising.

‘Right,’ slurred Hugh, standing unsteadily and rolling up his sleeves.

‘No!’ cried Katie, leaping up and holding him back as much as a five-foot-tall drunk girl in a corset could. ‘She’s
really
not worth it.’

Hugh blinked two watery eyes at her.

‘I was only going to ask you to dance.’

‘Hugh,’ she said, looking at the Salsa Two, ‘you can’t beat that.’

‘Please.’ He held her hand. ‘Don’t refuse me in my hour of need.’

And so she let herself be led out on to the dance floor where Hugh swept her up (only catching her shoe on one other dancer’s heel) and held her in his arms. He couldn’t salsa, but it turned out he was a pro at that well-known dance called The Throb. He rubbed himself up so close to her that it felt as if they were trying for a baby to music. She kept trying to pull away, but like a dog’s choke chain, his grip got firmer each time. Halfway through the dance she was trained. She just kept as still as possible. By the end they were so close that if she did move away he’d have fallen down and never got up again. And then Maxine would have salsa’d all over him. Katie would just have to wait till the music stopped.

She had enough time during the dance to wonder why she felt she owed Hugh something, and ponder on why she felt her politeness was being abused? It was just like being fourteen again. She pulled her neck back a bit and
looked
up at him. His eyes were closed. She called his name and he leaned back a little, giving her the most space since they’d started dancing.

‘You don’t really think I played you off against anyone at college, do you?’ she asked tentatively.

He gazed at her fondly. ‘Hmm? No!’

A lilac form whizzed past them.

‘I never meant to hurt you,’ she said, her voice quivering slightly.

‘I know, sweetheart.’ He flicked some gold flecks off her shoulders.

‘I-I just got scared.’

‘I know.’

The lilac form whizzed past again.

‘I don’t play with men’s feelings.’

‘I know.’

He looked down at her and gave her a deific smile. She rested her head on his chest so as to prevent the sensation of spinning and the more terrifying sensation of nearly being kissed.

After the music finished, she tried to pull Hugh back to the table, but he refused to go with the stubbornness of a mule and increasingly, the glazed look of one. She waved at Dan, who was, conveniently enough, looking at them. She beckoned him over and he slowly rose and approached. He really did look good in a suit, thought Katie, watching him make his way to them across the dance floor. Especially now he’d loosened his tie. She watched him squeeze in between all the dancers until he finally reached them.

‘Aha!’ exclaimed Hugh. ‘Dan the Man!’ He slapped
him
on the back. ‘Katie and I were having an intermintent moment.’

‘Is that what it was,’ said Dan.

Katie explained the situation as simply as she could. Hugh needed to get to bed. (On this Hugh gave Dan a big, slow wink.) But she couldn’t get him there on her own. (Hugh shook his head and frowned.) If Dan could help her get him upstairs, she would open the door to their suite, they could get him on the sofa and then come back down again. ‘Just as long as no one looks at us,’ Hugh confided in Dan. ‘We don’t want anyone seeing.’ It was agreed. Dan put his arm underneath Hugh’s and gripped him firmly at the waist while Hugh placed his arm round Dan’s shoulder and Katie ran to get her purse. Hugh looked at Dan. Dan looked at Hugh. Hugh smiled at Dan. Dan smiled at Hugh.

‘She’s very
very
special,’ said Hugh.

‘I know.’

‘Very very
very
special.’

Katie arrived. ‘Right, let’s go.’

‘I was just telling Danny boy . . .’ started Hugh, before launching into ‘Oh Danny Boy’ which, all things considered, he sang rather well. By the time they got him out of the ballroom, across the main reception, up the grand oak staircase and to the bottom of the narrower winding stairway, they were worn out.