Authors: Caroline Mickelson
Mateo nodded but didn’t respond. It wasn’t Marti’s fault that she didn’t know where her boss was. He was the one who should know where his wife was but he didn’t. The knowledge that she’d been so unhappy and desperate to get away from him that she’d taken off for heaven only knew where ate at him.
“I can leave voicemail messages, email, and text her for you but I’m sure you’ve already tried that.” Marti held up her hands to indicate her helplessness. “But if you can think of anything else I could do to help, just say the word.”
“I appreciate that, Marti,” he managed to say. His heart ached. Where on earth could Ava have gone? Her note had made it very clear why she’d gone but all he cared about right now was the where. If he could only find her he knew he could make things right. There was no baby and Ava wasn’t pregnant, her note had made clear, but he wasn’t nearly as upset about it as she’d thought he would be. He just wanted her. Only her. Forever. He turned his attention back to Marti. “Has she mentioned any place that she’d like to visit? Any vacation she’d thought of taking in the future? Even the random mention of someplace she’d heard of that sounded intriguing to her?”
Marti shook her head. “Getting Ava to think about anything except work before she met you was almost impossible. She never took a vacation.” She bit her lip and thought for a moment. “But she would have had to make reservations some place or at least consult a map if she was going someplace new.” Her face brightened. “So if she looked that up on her computer here maybe it’s in her browsing history.”
Mateo smiled for the first time since he’d opened Ava’s note and felt his whole life slip away with the news that his wife had left him. “You’re brilliant.”
“Don’t get your hopes up,” Marti cautioned as she made her way into Ava’s office and switched on the monitor. “She could have used her laptop or tablet to look up something or she could have cleared her browser history so let’s just wait to celebrate.” She sat in front of the computer and clicked away at the keyboard.
Mateo paced the office like a caged lion. The memory of holding Ava in his arms last night was burned into his heart. He’d returned to the house just a few hours after he’d left her asleep in their bed to find her gone and a handwritten note propped on the nightstand. Ava had profusely apologized for the misunderstanding that left him thinking she was pregnant and for not immediately clearing up the confusion. He was disappointed but the knowledge that he wasn’t yet going to be a father didn’t hurt one tenth the way it did when he continued reading.
Mateo,
she’d written,
We did our best for Mr. O but I’m not what you need in your life
.
Wrong, he’d thought as he crushed her note in his hand. She was exactly what he needed and wanted in his life. Just what he was going to say to convince her to give their marriage a chance once he found her, Mateo didn’t know. But he knew he loved Ava McKenna more than his own life.
“Got it,” Marti exclaimed triumphantly a moment later. “I bet she’s at a place in Santa Fe called Rancho Feliz. There are a few other places she looked at but for this one she looked at every page on their site and it looks like she plugged their info into the map quest site too.” She hit a few more buttons and the printer began to spit out some pages. “Do you want me to call and see if she’s staying there?”
Mateo shook his head. “I doubt they’d confirm it if she was. I’ll call on the way and make a reservation for myself though.” He glanced at his watch. There were a few things at the school that he absolutely had to tie up before he left which meant he’d not likely leave until the early morning. “I know it’s not fair to ask you this but if you do talk to my wife, can you not mention I’m on my way? I don’t want to scare her off.”
Marti motioned that she was zipping her lips. “Vow of silence.”
“Thank you for everything, Marti. You’re as much of a gem as Ava said you were.”
Marti smiled. “Just find her and love her, Mateo. She belongs with you. Everyone else can see it except her. Convince her to come home with you.”
He laid a hand over his heart. “I’ll spend forever trying.”
**
Desperate to take her mind off her broken heart, Ava attended a sun rise yoga class. She followed that with a light breakfast on the patio and a long hike on a paved walking path that meandered through the spa grounds. After a quick shower, Ava caught her reflection in the mirror. All the spa services in the world couldn’t help erase the dark smudges under her eyes. Still, she booked a massage and facial for the late afternoon. She had to do something with her time and she couldn’t force herself to concentrate on work, nor could she sleep.
When she scrolled through her text messages she was strangely disappointed to see that Mateo hadn’t been trying to get in touch with her. Her only voicemail was from Marti assuring her that all was well at the office. This is what she wanted, wasn’t it? Quiet. Solitude. The office to run itself for a few days. For Mateo to forget all about her.
Then why did the idea of Mateo agreeing to a quick divorce fill her with grief such as she’d never experienced? It was the right thing to do, she told herself. And she’d repeat it as many times as it took for her heart to believe it. Mateo had only sought her out initially because he knew his abuelo would be pleased. It wasn’t about her. And when he’d held her in his arms and made love to her it was because he believed they’d conceived a child. But they hadn’t. Their relationship had been nothing but a favor that led to a misunderstanding. They couldn’t build a life on that. No one could.
Chapter Seventeen
After her pampering session in the spa, Ava spent some time in the library trying to force herself to read but nothing held her attention. Still, she stayed in an overstuffed chair by the window because it felt like a safe, secluded place and it was far from her room where she’d left her cell phone. She didn’t trust herself not to call Mateo. Because no matter how badly she wanted to hear his voice, talking to him wouldn’t change anything.
It was there that the resort manager found her.
“Ms. McKenna?” he asked.
“Yes?”
“I apologize for the interruption.” He introduced himself and asked if he could take the chair next to hers. Once settled he made an apologetic face. “I wanted to personally apologize for the inconvenience but we’ve had to schedule some electrical repairs to several rooms on your floor. The work really needs to be done immediately but won’t take too long. Would you be at all amenable to eating in the dining room this evening so that we can get a crew in to take care of the issue?”
“Of course, I understand,” Ava said. “However, I’ll simply have room service later. I am traveling alone and would prefer to avoid the dining room.” The idea of sitting in a restaurant full of happy couples and families was more than she could take. It was often something she did while traveling for business and it never normally bothered her but tonight she felt empty enough as it was. “I’m fine here, if someone would be kind enough to just let me know when I can return to my room.”
The manager smiled congenially. “I understand your reluctance but I wouldn’t feel right about your having dinner late in case the repairs take a bit longer than expected. However, we do have a private dining room that we’d be more than willing to set up for you. I really must insist that you come down to try some of our world class cuisine,” he coaxed her.
Ava started to protest but then stopped. She didn’t have the energy to resist and what did it even matter? If she sat in the library or ate in a quiet dining area, she didn’t care. “Fine,” she agreed. “Let me just go up to my room and change if that’s okay.” She’d noticed last night that the guests tended to dress for dinner. Despite how miserable she felt, there was no excuse for her looking like a total slouch.
“Thank you, Ms. McKenna. I do appreciate your flexibility.” The manager stood. “Would it suit you if we met at the reception desk in half an hour? I can escort you to our private dining area.”
Ava agreed and headed up to her room. She changed into a straight black skirt and a black scoop neck blouse with three quarter sleeves. When she applied a light layer of lip gloss, she cringed at how naked her ring finger looked. She’d left Mrs. O’s amethyst ring at the house for Mateo but she’d slipped her wedding band into her wallet. She knew she wouldn’t wear it but she couldn’t bear to leave it behind. A last look in the mirror made her grimace. Her stark black outfit made her look like she was in mourning. In her own way, she was. She was mourning not only Mr. O, but the life with his grandson that she’d never have.
True to his word, the manager was waiting at the reception desk for her. She followed him past the main dining area to a closed door.
“I’ll leave you here, Ms. McKenna, with an apology for the inconvenience and a wish that you enjoy your evening.” He opened the door for her and then stepped aside so she could enter.
“Thank you,” Ava said, but by the time she finished speaking he had already closed the door behind her.
It took several moments for her eyes to adjust because the room was lit only by candlelight. She took a few steps forward as if in a trance. There were five tables that each held candelabra but only the center table was set. Strains of classical music filled the room. Ava glanced down at the table set with china place settings and crystal goblets that glistened in the candlelight. An arrangement of white roses sat in the center of the table. It was extraordinarily lovely but obviously she was in the wrong room. Someone had gone to a great deal of trouble to create a special romantic evening for a loved one. She didn’t belong here.
She turned to go.
“Ava.”
She froze. Mateo. It couldn’t be. Her heart squeezed tight in her chest.
“Turn around, Ava. I’m here.”
Slowly she pivoted and a man stepped out of the shadows. She gasped. It was Mateo, he was really here. When he took several steps closer she searched his face. What she saw there made her breath catch. She put her hand to her throat. “Mateo,” she whispered. “You’re here?”
He smiled gently. “I had to see you.”
She couldn’t take her eyes from his. “What is all of this?”
He took a few steps closer to her. “A part of my plan.”
“Plan?” Ava felt her heartbeat quicken. Something in Mateo’s voice, the tenderness she heard, was like a siren’s song. She lifted her hands to cover her heart. “How did you find me?”
“That was easy. The real question, Ava, is how you feel about seeing me.” He waited for her to speak but when she didn’t he began again. “I didn’t want you to feel that I don’t respect what you need and want, but after last night, after this last month together, I couldn’t let you go without hearing from your own lips that you didn’t want to be with me. That you didn’t care about me, about us.”
Ava reached out to hold onto the back of a chair. She felt like she was walking a tightrope. She couldn’t go backwards. But she couldn’t stay where she was. She closed her eyes. The truth was that she was afraid to fall, afraid to love Mateo with all of her heart only to lose him. But what if she sent him away? What if she passed on her only chance to love him and be loved by him? What if she passed on a future filled with love?
“Mateo, I’m afraid.”
He took just one step closer to her. “I know. And I can’t promise you a perfect life, Ava. But I can promise that I will give you my heart for all the days of my life.”
“The baby-” she began but he interrupted her.
“No, that was a misunderstanding and I’m sorry that I put any pressure on you. It was all a mistake. But that’s not the reason I’m here.”
“It’s not?”
He shook his head. “It’s not about my abuelo either. I can never, ever thank you enough for the gift you gave him but he’s gone.” He took a deep breath and began again, “This is about you and me. And whether you want there to be an us.”
With a sudden rush of understanding, Ava knew that all she wanted in this life was to love Mateo, to be with him.
“I fell in love with you, Ava.” Mateo’s voice was thick with emotion. “I think I’ve always been in love with you. All I know is that when I look at you, I see forever.”
Ava felt a bubble of joy well up within her. She smiled as she went straight into Mateo’s outstretched arms. Once she was in the warmth of his embrace she knew her heart was safe. She was home. She reached up to touch his face. “I want us to be together,” she told him. “Forever.”
Mateo leaned down and brushed his lips across hers in a gentle kiss. “Para siempre.”
The End
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