The XOXO New Adult Collection: 16 Full Length New Adult Stories (200 page)

“Good.” She forced a smile. “I'm glad.”

“But only if that means this silent treatment shit is over.” I stared hard at her. “Only if you tell me there's somewhere for this to go.”

“What?”

I swallowed. “I...I wanted you there when I woke up.”

Her cheeks flushed. She didn't say anything.

“And if you think I've ever said that to anyone before, you're wrong,” I said. “Not once have I ever wanted to wake up with someone next to me. But you were gone.” I chewed on my lip for a minute. It was harder than I thought it would be to tell her, to admit out loud that I'd wanted her there. And how disappointed I was when she was wasn't. “And then you just stonewalled me for two straight weeks. With no explanation.”

She folded and unfolded her arms, trying to get comfortable. “I thought a clean break was best. Just step away and stay out of your way.”

“Really.”

“Yeah, really,” she said, irritated. “Look, I don't care if you believe me. I didn't think you'd listen. I
knew
you wouldn't listen. And our feelings were all screwed up. Working together wasn't possible after we slept together.”

“Fine. You're fired.”

“What??”

I nodded. “You heard me. Fired. Now you don't work for me. Problem solved.”

She opened her mouth but nothing came out.

“Now will you talk to me?” I took a step toward her. “Because you still owe me a conversation.”

“What?”

I nodded. She was close enough to touch, close enough so I could smell that shampoo that drove me insane. “Uh-huh. That night? The night you want to forget? You never told me your story, Gina. And I want to know it.”

She paled. “I...”

“Fair is fair,” I said. “And you've kept me waiting for two weeks.”

She took a step back and reached for her glasses, lowering them over her eyes. But she didn't do it quick enough because I saw what she was trying to hide.

“I don't work for you anymore,” she said, her voice tight with tears. “And I don't owe you anything, Kellen Handler.”

THIRTY FOUR

Gina

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I
closed the door to my car and exhaled. My hands were still shaking and tears streamed down my face. I wiped at them angrily, my fingers chafing against my skin.

I hadn't wanted to go see him, but when Trevor called me for about the twentieth time, I'd finally caved.

Big mistake.

I'd stood on the beach for twenty minutes, watching him carve up the waves. The wild abandon and intense concentration as he maneuvered the board, the way his body morphed into an extension of the piece of fiberglass beneath his feet, moving in one fluid motion up and over the waves. He looked beautiful. Perfect.

And he looked like Luke. Exactly like Luke.

I didn't have a plan when I'd arrived at his house. I'd gone through a dozen different scenarios in my head, thinking about how the conversation with Kellen might go. But after seeing him in the water, I knew what I had to do. Cut the cord for good and get the hell out of there.

Because I couldn't do it again. I couldn't love someone – and lose them – again. And I was dangerously close.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to get myself under control. I needed to get the hell out of his driveway. I didn't think he'd come running after me; he'd been too pissed. I swallowed hard. More than pissed. I saw the hurt in his eyes, the disbelief. I'd been a heartless bitch and I hated myself for doing it.

But I had to.

It was a matter of self-preservation.

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THIRTY FIVE

Kellen

––––––––

I
downed my fifth shot of tequila.

“Yo.”

I looked up with glazed eyes. Carl stood behind the bar, drying a glass.

“You need to slow down, man.” He glanced at the clock. “Night's early.”

I turned my head toward the clock mounted on the wall and it was like I was moving in slow-motion. The numbers on the face were fuzzy and I squinted so I could read them. It was just past six. Two hours since Gina had left. Two hours since she'd basically told me to go fuck myself.

So I did.

I threw on a shirt, shoved my feet into my flips and walked three blocks to The Night Owl, the local dive bar. And started fucking myself.

“I'm fine,” I told Carl. I pointed to the empty beer bottle next to me. “Gimme another one of those.”

Carl frowned at me, his bushy brows drawing together so they looked like one long, furry caterpillar. “Slow it down, man,” he said, but he pushed another bottle in my direction.

I reached for it and took a long swig.

Fuck Gina Bellori.

I didn't know what had gone on or why. And I didn't care anymore. I'd been a job to her. Nothing else. She'd gotten her orders. Fix me. Make me likeable, turn my reputation around. And she'd done it. Didn't mean she had to like me, didn't mean she had any feelings for me. And just because I was some fucked up guy looking for direction didn't mean she was gonna be the one to help me find it.

It didn't matter that we'd hit it off, that there'd been a connection. Not just physical. We'd talked, joked around. I'd felt comfortable with her. And I'd really thought she believed in me.

I grabbed the beer and guzzled it. She was a great fucking actress. She'd known exactly how to get me to do what she wanted. She needed to make me look good and she'd known exactly what buttons to push to get me to perform. I'd just been too stupid, too fucking vulnerable, to realize what she was doing.

I let my thoughts drift back to the night on the beach. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the images but they came anyway. Her hands. Her mouth. What her body felt like beneath me, on top of me. The sounds she made, what she tasted like. I was hard just thinking about it.

My eyes flew open and I downed the rest of my beer. Fuck that. I couldn't explain that away, couldn't figure out why she'd kissed me and come on to me and done all the things she did to me. But I didn't want to think about it anymore. I wasn't going to think about her or that night ever again.

I scanned the bar. Another guy sat to my left, four stools down. A local guy, not someone I hung out with. I turned to the right. A petite brunette sat alone, nursing a beer. I stared at her for a minute. And then I made a decision.

I picked up my half-empty bottle and made my way towards her, trying to steady myself as I walked.

She glanced up at me as I approached. There was no flicker of recognition, just a wary smile.

“Hey,” I said, sitting down next to her.

“Hey yourself.” She had brown eyes. Like Gina.

I brought the bottle to my lips. “You come here often?”

She laughed. “Wow, that's original.”

I smiled at her. “The package is better than the delivery. Promise.”

She reached for her own bottle and brought it to her lips. “Oh, really?”

I nodded. “Really.”

“What makes you think I'm looking to hook up?”

I glanced around the bar. “Week night. Local dive. It's early.” I brought my eyes back to her. “And you're alone.”

She shook her head. “What if I just wanted a drink?”

“Bet you don't.” I downed the rest of my beer and signaled to Carl for another.

She didn't answer, just shook her head and took another drink. But she didn't tell me to fuck off and she didn't get up and move.

I shifted a little closer to her. “You live around here?”

She hesitated for a minute before answering. “I do now.”

“Yeah?” I picked up the fresh beer in front of me. “Just moved here?”

The girl nodded.

“When?”

“About an hour ago.”

I chuckled. “Wow. Not wasting any time finding a watering hole, huh?”

“Something like that.” She smiled but there was something off in her voice, in her expression. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You?”

“Yeah, I live here. Been here for a while.” I waved my hand in the direction of the door. “Three blocks west. Right on the beach.”

She raised her eyebrows. “On the beach?”

I knew what she was thinking. Prime real estate. Which meant I was rich. She had no fucking idea.

I nodded. “Yep. Walk right out on the sand.” I leaned toward her and I could feel my dick swelling in my shorts. “You wanna come check it out?”

She looked at me for a minute, then looked away. I drummed my fingers on the counter, waiting.

“Yeah,” she said finally. “I want to check it out.”

THIRTY SIX

Kellen

Her tongue was down my throat ten minutes later.

The girl from the bar was in my lap, sitting on the couch, her legs wrapped around me, her mouth fastened to mine. I lifted her shirt and cupped her breast through her bra and she moaned. I thrust my hips into her, grinding against her. I just wanted to get inside of her. Fuck her. Make the pain go away.

“Fuck me,” she said, tearing her mouth from mine. Her tongue found the inside of my ear and she plunged it inside, sending shivers down my spine. “Fuck me, Kellen. Now.”

I yanked on her shorts and she lifted her ass so I could pull them off. She wore a hot pink thong and I ripped that off, hearing the fragile fabric tear as I wrenched it off her legs. She unzipped my shorts and grabbed hold of my dick, pumping furiously. I lifted my ass off the couch and shimmied out of my shorts and boxers, my cock pushing against her thigh.

I needed her. I needed this. And she wanted me.

I froze.

“What did you just say?”

The girl moved against me, wiggling her ass, trying to get my dick inside of her.

“I said fuck me,” she whispered.

“No.” I set my hands on her hips and lifted her off of me.

She glared at me. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“You said my name.”

Her eyes widened a little but she answered quickly. “No, I didn't.”

“The fuck you did.” I stood up and grabbed my shorts.

“Wait.” She reached for me. “Come back.”

“Look,” I said, my voice even as I raked her naked body with my eyes. “You wanna get fucked by Kellen Handler, just come out and say it. But don't pretend. Don't try to be something you're not.”

“I—”

I didn't let her finish. “I've had plenty of chicks just like you. And I'd do you no problem, if that's what you wanna offer. But don't fucking try to play me.”

“I wasn't.”

The buzz wasn't completely gone but I was solid on my feet as I stood in front of her.

“I'm not what you think I am.” My voice was raw.

She reached for her shirt. “You don't know what you're missing.”

I studied her for a long minute. What the hell had I been thinking? Why did I think a drunken fuck session was going to make things better? It never had. In the six months since Jay had died, nothing had made me feel better. Not drinking, not sex. The only thing that had even come close was surfing but even that was bittersweet, the ocean a stark reminder of what I'd lost.

But then I realized something, a little light bulb that suddenly morphed into a fucking flood lamp. There was one thing that had made me feel good about myself, had made me think I just might be better than the person I'd turned out to be.

I looked at the half-naked girl in my living room, another girl whose name I didn't know, who I didn't give a shit about. And I smiled at her, a genuine smile.

“Actually, you're wrong,” I told her. “I know exactly what I'm missing. And I'm going to get it back.”

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THIRTY SEVEN

Kellen

––––––––

I
called Trevor the next morning. He sounded a little surprised to hear from me but he kept his cool, agreeing to meet me for dinner that night.

Despite the amount of alcohol I'd kicked back the night before, I'd gotten up early. The girl from the bar had left pretty quickly, tossing her clothes back on while she glowered at me, half-pissed and half-embarrassed. I'd just stood in the living room, arms folded, watching her while she dressed. I locked the door behind her and made my way to my bedroom, collapsing on my bed, Rip jumping up to join me.

And I'd slept. Because I knew what I needed to do.

I met Trevor at a seafood restaurant in downtown Encinitas. He sat at a two-top table by the bank of glass windows that faced west, framing a postcard view of the Pacific. He smiled and stood, shook my hand and motioned to the empty chair across from him.

To his credit, he didn't ask about my abrupt about-face. We ordered dinner and he talked about some upcoming events, throwing ideas out there, gauging my interest. And, to my credit, I didn't dismiss anything. I wasn't an asshole. I listened, asked questions, and made decisions.

After an hour, he and I walked out of the restaurant. We made our way out to the parking lot and he turned to look at me. “Thanks, Kellen. This was good.”

I nodded and shook his head. “Yeah. And, look, I'm sorry I was an ass these past few weeks.”

He waved a hand in the air. “Over and done, man. Don't worry about it. Transitions are tough and it sounds like you were caught by surprise. But it's over and done and we'll move forward.” He smiled. “Gina said you were pretty reasonable once the stubbornness wore off.”

“Oh, yeah?”

He nodded. “Yep. She likes you, man.”

My heart jumped into my throat but I didn't say anything, just listened as he continued.

“Trust me,” he said. “Behind the scenes, we're honest with each other. If she didn't like you, she would've told me. To prepare me. But she was pretty clear. She thought I was getting off easy because you were cool. Pretty sure she wasn't happy about getting pulled to another project when you guys were in the middle of doing this.” He shrugged. “But you gotta do what you gotta do, you know?”

I did. It had taken me way too long to figure it out, but I finally knew what I was supposed to do.

I thanked him again and told him I'd touch base with him tomorrow.

I drove home and instead of watching TV or cruising surf sites, I shifted my attention to the next thing on my list. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, positioned myself on the couch and for the next two hours, I scoured every news source I could find. Not about surfing. Not about public relations.