The Years Between (18 page)

He leaned back and she fell with him, her small hands traveling up under his shirt. He
sighed at her touch. Her hands felt warm and soft as they explored him, caressed him, and rubbed him. That they could share anything at all was still a startling revelation. Let alone, sharing sex. She straddled him, kissing him, and leaning back enough to slip her shirt over her head. His breath hitched, she was so beautiful. Her black hair was shoulder-length, straight and glossy. Her eyes were huge, and dewy-soft, revealing her love for him. Her round, large breasts were all his. He touched a finger to her extended nipple. Her mouth opened in response as her eyes dilated. She took his hand and slid if off her, as she turned to the side and slipped her hand into his pants. His breath completely stopped. She touched him. He closed his eyes and released the feelings in his guts. She pulled her hand out and slid his pants down until he sprang free.

His eyelids
flipped open when he felt her lips touching his stomach. He could only wonder after everything that happened, how did they ever arrive
here?

The thing about revenge is: it rarely happens. It should not have happened for Jessie. She had to face that as part of her recovery. No one would pay for raping her. She was the victim of multiple rapes, and not one of the perpetrators got punished or put in jail, or humiliated. At first, she was so grateful to get away from it, and all the terror, she didn’t care about revenge. She did not care about justice or payback or getting her day in court. The only thing she cared about was no longer being forced to have sex against her will. Not something most people ever had to endure. But she did.

Will was right; she remembered each one’s face. As well as their disgusting, foul breath blowing over her. She remembered how badly they hurt her. How they humiliated her. She thought it was odd when she saw the ties secured in concrete on the floor of that miserable warehouse. And the ready-made cell in the basement of the warehouse. But she was too sick and disoriented for any of it to make sense to her then.

However, Will was right. They had to have tortured more women than just her.
They were sex traffickers
.

That thought turned her stomach. Was that why the man wore a hood? To hide himself from her? She never made the connection. At the time, it wasn’t like she could have done anything to identify him or get him into trouble. But what if… Will hadn’t shown up?
Would they have sold her?

Yes! They would have sold her!

Her stomach congealed, and she sat up suddenly as sweat began dripping off her face. She always considered Mexico her stain on the earth. Nothing worse than that could have ever befallen her.

She unexpectedly leaned over and wrapped her arms around Will, hugging his torso as tightly as her weak arms would allow. He woke up with a start. “Thank you,” she whispered in the darkness of their bedroom. Her tone sounded fierce. She put her lips on his chest and kissed him while whispering it over and over.

His hands caressed her back and he petted her in soothing strokes. “Hey, for what? What did I do?”

“You saved me. I don’t know if I ever thanked you for stopping it. And not letting it get worse. And for saving me before I got sold. That could have been only the start! I got so bogged down in what actually happened, I think I forgot that it could have gone on for so much longer. Until my death. You saved me.”

His entire body went still. He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have brought this all up. It doesn’t help you.”

“Actually, finding something to appreciate about it is really new for me, and kind of liberating. I’m grateful you went there. I know it comes up so much between us, but knowing it was you who literally saved me, makes me love you more too. You said, a long time ago, I only needed you because you saved me, and I would have felt that way about anyone. You were right. What you failed to mention is, once I got my head screwed on a little straighter, I would continue to feel that hero-worship toward you. Your kindness, your patience, and your understanding changed everything for me.”

He squeezed her tightly to his body. “I never thought that ordeal could offer anything to appreciate. I just wish, at the time, I went back and finished them all.”

“Easy to say now. You couldn’t have left me alone! If you had, I might never have gotten out of Mexico. So, no you shouldn’t have. Your first and foremost priority was to get me out of there. And you did. And now… you want to finish it. Finish them, I mean.”

His entire body stilled under hers. She could feel him physically holding his breath. “Yes, I do, Jessie. I want to do that. But it isn’t you that I need to do it for. It’s for me.”

“Does it really make that much difference to you? Life or death? Can’t you live with it as is?”

“It really makes that much difference to me.”

“You have to promise me this: you won’t go down there to kill everyone. It’s only to bring them to the authorities. And it can’t be a fake promise. Or you thinking you can say whatever you want to me for the sake of protecting me. You have to mean it, Will. Or I swear to God, when you come home, I will be gone. If you lie to me about it… you will not be able to talk your way back into my heart. This is final for me. Think long and hard before you agree to go there. You will break us in two if you lie.”

He took in a deep breath. “I can do that. I can promise you I’m not going down there to kill anyone in cold blood. If you let me go down there, and fucking do something, anything to at least, stop them, and get even some of them punished, I can accept your terms.”

“You swear to God you’re not going to risk breaking us?”

He took her face between his hands and leaned his forehead onto hers. “I swear to God. I am not going to risk breaking us.”

“And then will you be done? With things that can get you killed? That I have to suffer through while waiting for your safe return?”

“I’m done,” he said softly, his tone filled with care and concern. “I am all yours then.”

“I cannot believe I am agreeing to this.”

“Maybe you need a little more closure than you think you do. Maybe you need this too.”

She drew in a sharp breath. “How would I know? It’s never been on the table before. I never conceived of getting any kind of justice.”

“Well, baby, it is now. I’ll get you some justice.”

“Don’t be cocky.”

“You want me cocky; it’s when I’m at my best.”

She rolled her eyes in the dark. “Okay, soldier, I want you cocky. Just don’t die. You think I’ve suffered in the past…”

He squeezed her and his lips hovered over hers as he said, “I promise I won’t die. I won’t make you suffer. Not anymore.”

****

Will didn’t mention “it” again. Weeks went by, and Jessie finally tried to return to building her new life and coping with all the crap she had to work on and manage.

She came home one Saturday afternoon after shopping with Bella to find Will on the couch. He had an ice pack over his hand.
She rushed over to him, dropping her stuff on the floor. “What happened?”

“I smashed a finger. It fucking hurts.”

She lifted the ice pack and studied his hand, touching his index finger gently. She rubbed her fingers over his large hands and hairy knuckles. She loved his hands. Leaning down, she kissed the red tip. “What happened? Training?”

“No,” he grumbled.

“Okay? Then how did you do that?”

“I started building your kennel.”

“You started the dog kennel?” She studied his face, careful to keep hers neutral. “Uh-huh. So you did this using a hammer?”

He glanced up at her amused tone. “Yeah? So? Why are you grinning?”

She bit her lip from inside her mouth, but nearly choked on the laugh. “Because you don’t know how to use one, do you? You don’t know how to build a dog kennel.”

He frowned as he pushed the ice pack back on his hand. “It’s not as easy as it looks. I’d like to see you try if it’s so easy.”

“Yes, but I’m not a soldier in the Special Forces.”

“I can’t believe that my pain amuses you so much.”

She kept giggling. “Not laughing at your pain, I was just thinking, escaping a terrorist cell made you feel on top of the world. I can see why now; it’s a strange adrenaline rush. You like the near-death aspect of your job, don’t you? I was thinking about your voice the other night, when I gave you permission to go back to Mexico. You like doing that, don’t you? The thrill? Risking death? It makes you feel so alive, you don’t notice the pain. But a slightly smashed finger has you hiding inside here with an ice pack on it!”

“It hurts,” he grumbled again, his mouth a tight line. “I was building the damn thing for you anyway and now you’re laughing at me?”

She straddled his lap. “I know. My hero. My big, strong, manly soldier.” She ruffled his hair with her hands and kissed his scowling face.

“Why are you laughing at me now?”

“Because you’re so funny. Sometimes, I can’t get over how you manage to disappear behind the role of the cold, robotic, super-soldier veneer you assume… And then… this! You make me smile and laugh and feel happy, Will Hendricks, when no one else can.”

He shook his head. “I really don’t get what turns you on sometimes,” he mumbled as he lifted his hands to her waist, using both hands, even his tragically injured one.

She took his smashed finger and brought it to her mouth. Putting it between her lips, she sucked it gently. She watched his face jerk with surprise as his eyebrows shot up in shock. “Better yet?” she whispered as she set his hand underneath her shirt.

“Yeah, getting there,” he grunted.

She leaned forward, planting herself directly over his erection. He drew in a sharp breath. She kissed the corner of his mouth. “I really do appreciate your feeble attempts at building the dog house for me, soldier.”

“About damn time. You didn’t seem all that appreciative,” he grumbled in a pout.

She rubbed herself on him. He pushed up against her with a soft groan. “Oh, I’m really, really appreciative. But maybe we could ask Finn to help you?”

He suddenly grabbed her arms and scowled into her face. “I don’t need some other dude to come over and show me how to build a stupid dog house.”

“Actually, you do. Besides, if you don’t learn now, how do you intend to find out exactly how to build us that house you keep fantasizing about?”

“It’s not a fantasy. If I can devise complicated missions, I’m sure I can figure out how to build a damn dog house.” He turned so he was lying flat with her on top of him. “I’ll show you how much help I need,” he said. His hands came up and started undoing her pants.

****

Every holiday, and each anniversary seemed as if they were in neon lights. They celebrated CHRISTMAS, BIRTHDAYs, and EASTER. Every day they were together was like a revelation to both of them. They never dreamed during the darkest days and their separations that they would spend such days together, let alone, enjoy them so much. They did ordinary things: running errands, cooking, cleaning, and sharing their pets and days. They fought sometimes; and they laughed a lot. They learned the little things about each other that only time can reveal. Things they never
had time to learn about each other. They were both dating and married. Sometimes, things were as simple as a night out together. Other times, things became as complicated as their history.

Will had two short deployments, which took him again to Afghanistan. Jessie spent most of her time with Finn and Bella and their small circle of friends. She, for once, simply dealt with it and stuck to her routine. She talked to her counselor. And to Will as much as she could.

Once, there was a nine-day gap in communication. There had been many times when he could not contact her for days or even a couple of weeks. Those times she had some warning and knew it was coming. But nine days unexpectedly? She had no idea what was going on. She stared at the calendar with unwavering belief and faith that he was fine.
He. Is. Fine
. They would share their dream. She chanted the days off in her head as if the Holy Grail lay at the end. It was her answer to surviving Will’s separation from her. Will risking more danger. Will just being Will.

He was fine, and called as soon as he could after the mission was over. They were looking for insurgents who attacked one of the military installations. He apologized at length and she nearly fell to her knees in the kitchen when his voice came through the phone.
He was fine
. See? She was right. She made herself believe it, and for once, it actually happened. She cried hard, and was nearly rendered unable to speak. He tried to soothe her from all those miles away, but nothing could relieve the ache of missing him.

Still, she didn’t take any sharp objects to her skin. She survived. She didn’t like it. For her, it was trigger after trigger. But she survived it. And all the while, she kept chanting,
he is fine.

Then THE DAY approached: his date of discharge from active service. The day they waited for years to arrive, and shed rivers of tears to accomplish. The day she almost didn’t think she could see past. It was easier for Will to talk about “after” and “later” and “next year” or “in ten years.” She could not, however, and saw that day,
the day,
May 24
th
as the absolute ending of her old life and beginning of her new life.

It also meant the last great battle that Will Hendricks would leave her to fulfill. As a way to highlight the attainment of their dream, Will was going to Mexico. They should have been toasting the greatest victory of their short life together. Instead, he was preparing for perhaps the stupidest mission yet in his entire long and danger-fraught military career.