There All Along (14 page)

“I’ll say goodnight then. And we’re definitely friends, Verity. You’re too good at cards to let that go.” He winked, took a step back and faded into the dark.

N
early a moon passed with no word from Loyal. Planting season had begun in earnest and everyone was busy in Silver Cliffs. They’d had some traders come through so her shelves were stocked, which was always nice.

But that didn’t mean she wasn’t thinking about Loyal all the time. Wondering how he was. Hoping he and his crew were safe.

Finally, two moons after she’d seen him last, a blip arrived saying an official transport would be arriving within the next moon to collect Tobin to take him to Shelter City to start the next training cycle.

Smiling, she headed out into the store where he stood with Ruth, helping her restock.

“Just got a blip.”

He turned, expectant. Grinning, she handed the paper to him. He scanned it quickly and with a whoop he hugged her, dancing around the mercantile.

“I take it we got good news?” Ruth laughed at Tobin’s antics.

“I’m going to be heading to training soon.” He shook the paper. “Official notice.”

Verity laughed. “It’s really happening.” And she’d be seeing Loyal at long last.

“I need to tell my parents.” He sobered a little and her heart ached. She hoped they’d at least feign excitement for him.

“Go on then.” She kissed his cheek before pushing him toward the door. “You can have the rest of the day off.”

But of course Constance came barreling over shortly after Tobin had left to tell them.

“I can’t believe you are still pushing this whole thing after all the trouble you’ve caused.”

Verity looked up from where she’d been counting sacks of grain and then back to Ruth. “I need to step away for a little while. Can you finish this up, please?”

Ruth’s gaze cut to Constance and then back to Verity. She nodded and then rolled her eyes. “Yes, of course.” Verity nearly laughed but got herself back under control before she faced her sister.

“Let’s go upstairs.”

She led the way, not looking back over her shoulder to see if Constance was following.

“Now that we don’t have an audience would you care to tell me what this is all about?” Verity asked once Constance closed the door.

“You know good and well what this is about. Tobin came running over with the blip about training. This is your doing.”

“The last time you were here, I held back because I respected your fear for him. But this is my home and I’m done holding back for anyone. Just so you understand before we continue down this road.”

“We just got him back home and now you’re filling his head with this again.”

“Is that really what you think or are you letting your husband get you all whipped up over something you know Tobin is in charge of?” Anger roiled through her system.

“You’re pushing him.”

“I’m
supporting
him, not pushing him.” She threw her hands up. “Get over it, Constance. Or stop rushing over here to vomit your anxiety on me. You can’t have it both ways. If you freeze me out and stop inviting me to family events you can’t count on me to let you wring your hands in my parlor and take your abuse. Tobin is a man. He has an opportunity to go and do something he wants to do. You can support him or not, but you know as well as I do that he’s going and it has nothing to do with me.”

“It surely does. He told us you’re helping him with an allowance.”

“They’re my credits. Mine to spend or save as I see fit. He’ll need it.”

“And what about you? He
left
. Without you. And you’re giving your credits to Tobin so what do you plan on doing?”

Her sister’s words, poisonous and full of anger, hit at her like fists, tearing at the walls she’d tried to build around her heart.

“Why are you here? You’ve already called me names and insulted me. What else is left but to underline it? This is beneath you. You’re in my home, you’re my sister . . . I’d never try to hurt you this way.” She heard the unshed tears in her voice and wished she hadn’t.

Constance drew back as if she’d been slapped and then she fell into a chair with a sigh. “I apologize. This tension between us is silly and I’m being a harridan about it. I feel out of control. Scared out of my wits at the idea of losing Tobin. It’s been easy to pour all that into my upset over you. I’m afraid for you too. So afraid it’s made me angry. I’ve missed you. I mean that.”

“You shut me out. Like I didn’t even exist. I’ve had all this stuff and I haven’t had you to talk to about it.”

“Please, sit. I’m sorry.”

Verity sat next to her sister and Constance took her hands, squeezing them. “I didn’t know how to deal with all my fear. And Emeril . . . he’s been so angry. I stayed away to placate him. But you’re my sister and I was wrong.”

Tears shone in Constance’s eyes and Verity let it go a little bit.

“Will you tell me? About the lawman. Distract me from the fact that my son will be going off to Shelter City to learn how to be one of them.”

“He’ll be safe in Shelter City. Safer than he would be here. And they’ll teach him to be stronger. You need to keep hold of that when you’re scared.”

“He’s my boy. I know he wants this. I know he’ll be good at it. But I’m so frightened for him.” Constance swallowed hard. “Enough of that for now. Tell me about Loyal. Please.”

“I told him I wanted to come with him. On the road.”

Constance gasped, her hand over her mouth. “You did not!”

“I need to be free, Constance. I want to go with him. I can’t just wait around for him here. Content to only see him a few times each annum? No. I’d be half a person. I don’t want that.”

“It’s so dangerous out there. How can you want that? For a man you barely know? Explain it to me so I can understand it.”

“I don’t know if I can. You and I are different.” Verity shrugged, searching for the right words. “I can see how it might seem sudden, or that Loyal and I don’t know each other very well. But I can tell you that I was married to James for eight years and he didn’t know my favorite color much less my birthday. Loyal knows my hopes and dreams. He knows what I like, what my favorite flower is. He brings me books. I know him better than I’ve known anyone.”

How could she explain something that felt so natural? So instinctive it went beyond words?

“I want to be with him. I know others have their wives or husbands with them. Even when they’re not lawmen. I did research. It’s not dangerous every time. Not more dangerous than being here, only feeling alive when he comes around.”

Constance ran a hand over her belly as she thought. “I can’t pretend to understand it. How you’d give up the safety of life behind these walls to ride up and down a Highway plagued with brigands.”

“If it doesn’t work out my heart gets broken. But I can come back here. Or to another garrison. It’s not like my life is over. I’ll just start another chapter. But if I don’t at least try? Now while I can? I’ll wonder what if for the rest of my days. I love him. He loves me. It’s enough right now.”

Constance took a deep breath and Verity knew her sister would never truly understand it. She loved her life in Silver Cliffs. Had never yearned to know things she wasn’t told. It didn’t make her bad or wrong, it just made them different. But the point would be how her sister reacted right then. Would she revert to anger and fear or would she accept that even if she didn’t understand, it was what Verity wanted?

“I can’t say that this is a choice I’d make. Or even one I like you making. I worry for you. I can’t help it. But I do want you to be happy and I’m sorry, again, that I haven’t been very nice about it. It is nice of him to help Tobin. At least he has that on his side.”

“Tobin will be with other men and women his age. All wanting to make a difference. From all up and down the Highway. This will be good for him.” Pride filled her. She had a very good idea that Loyal was the kind of man that if he had your back others would respect you just for that if nothing else.

“What if Tobin never comes back?”

Verity shook her head. “He will. They get time off. They can choose to staff the garrisons instead of work the Highway too. When that blip came he rushed to you. To share it with you. He loves you so much. He won’t be living in your house anymore, but that would have happened anyway. But he’ll always be back.”

Constance stayed at her table, sharing tea and some cookies. It was the nicest time she’d had with her sister in a very long while and it gave her hope.

•   •   •

I
know better than to ask if we’re staying the night here.” Indigo spoke from where he checked under the hood of his vehicle.

They should. The last nearly three moons he’d been up and down that damnable Highway. Fighting. He’d been shot. Twice. Marcus had taken an arrow to the meat of his thigh and though he’d spent some time in a med facility and the muscles had been repaired, he had a slight limp.

They’d been ambushed. Been bloodied and battered. Had done their fair share of ambushing as well. And bit by bit had retaken the southern leg of the Land’s End Highway that had been fairly overrun with brigands who’d managed to take over two garrisons.

Two garrisons where buildings had been destroyed. Where they’d liberated those who’d been tortured. Raped. Some of them anyway. Those who were left alive. The others? There’d been pits where the bodies had been thrown. The central government had to send in the health workers to stop an illness borne from eating human flesh.

The brigands had shifted into something far worse than they’d been before. A new type of band had emerged and there appeared to be some sort of internal battle being waged between this new breed, the flesh eaters, and the brigands they’d dealt with before and were fearsome enough as it was.

They were back to running official transports in the north once more. Exhaustion burned his eyes. But he needed to touch her. Needed to see her. Needed to hear her voice and feel her skin against his.

So yes, they should stay the night in the garrison. But Silver Cliffs was just up the Highway. They’d already stayed two days and it was time to go. He’d done his job and he wanted her so much his skin itched for her.

“The widow Coleman is good for you.” Trinity cleaned her weapon at a nearby picnic table. “Being with someone makes you strong when they’re worthy.” Her gaze cut to Marcus, the corner of her mouth lifting as he turned and caught her looking.

“She wants to be out here with me. And after seeing what we did in the South, I can’t. When we left last time it was my plan to make it possible, to get the clearance to have her with me. But now?” He scratched his bearded chin. “I can’t bring myself to expose her to that. No matter what she thinks she wants.”

He had an alternate suggestion. One he hoped she’d listen to and accept. But there was simply no way he could have her out on the Highway when they could be under attack by fucking cannibals.

He’d walk away before he’d do it. At least if he walked away, she’d be safe in Silver Cliffs behind those impenetrable walls. At least she’d be alive somewhere in the world. He had the stick as well as the carrot. For the time being the military had issued a ban on nonmilitary personnel traveling with lawmen. Even those lawmen who rode along with their husbands and wives had to leave them in a garrison. He’d lead with that before he made his proposition.

“What’s the alternative, Loyal? You’ve seen life out here in the garrisons. Verity wants more. She wants to live outside those walls and she wants to do it with you.” Indigo shrugged.

“You know as well as I do about the new restrictions. I have a proposal to make to her about how we can take the next half an annum or so. I guess I’ll have to see what she thinks.”

“Don’t blow it. I’ve been riding with you for over ten years. I’ve never seen you do so much as look back over your shoulder when we left a garrison. This woman is the first. The only one you’ve been drawn back to and that means something.” Indigo was far more perceptive than most people imagined.

“It does mean something.”

“Let’s roll then, shall we? Get to Silver Cliffs. Pick up our passenger for lawman academy. Have an ale at the bar. See Loyal go all cow-eyed at the widow Coleman.” Trinity slapped his shoulder and laughed, heading for Marcus, who bent to kiss her before they headed to their vehicles.

They rumbled through the gates and headed back for the Highway. Their pace was harder than normal. He wanted to be there as soon as possible. The Highway was clear. Partially because of the increased military patrols. Partially because they’d beaten the brigands back.

No matter though, because it meant they could get to Silver Cliffs.

The time he’d been away had been torture because he’d missed her, yes. But it had also helped him get to the heart of how he felt about Verity.

Indigo had been right. In all the years of his life, there’d never been anyone who drew him to a place the way she did. Never been a woman who was so impossible to get off his mind.

He was a solitary man. He liked not being owned or having responsibilities to anyone outside the job. His family was his crew, but otherwise no one else held much personal importance to him.

He hadn’t been obsessed with fucking before Verity. He got it when he needed to, when he wanted it. When it was offered by a person he knew wouldn’t expect anything more than a good time.

But Verity wasn’t a woman he could tumble and walk away from. He’d known that when he’d crawled between her thighs the first time. It’s one of the reasons he’d tried so hard not to give in to that burning need to touch her. For two annum he’d kept his desire leashed. But each time they’d driven through those gates it had been harder to resist.

Not just the sex, though that part made the blood heat in his veins. So smooth and sweet on the outside but behind closed doors, once they were alone she demanded her pleasure. He’d never really imagined that being as hot as it was. But there was something so deeply alluring in the knowledge that she was dirty but only he saw just how dirty.

She was someone who listened more than she talked. Curious. Vibrant. Full of decency and honor and caring. Verity was a person he could share his future with and it was long past the point where it scared him the way it did the first time he’d kissed her and left Silver Cliffs.