This Broken Beautiful Thing (21 page)

College
has been going great and I haven’t run into anyone that attended the same High School I did. Caleb called continuously and left messages, so did Brent those first few weeks after seeing Caleb near the library. I deleted each and every one without reading them. After a few weeks all calls and messages gradually stopped. We have done a weekly Sunday lunch where the boys from the club bring their families, I’ve gotten to know the guys really well and they all seem to love the whole idea of the Sunday lunch.

Today I’m supposed to go to another checkup
since I’ve been cramping a little and it’s making me uneasy but I can’t get hold of Jace and haven’t seen him since yesterday because he had “work” to do.

Walking into dad’s
club house, I see there was a party the previous night. I heard the music last night but presumed it was from the club downstairs. There are beer bottles and half naked people all over the place. My father and Anna went away for the week to stay at their cottage by the lake, they wanted me to come with but I thought they needed time alone. Clearly these guys were celebrating not having the President around.

Letting out a deep breath I make my way to
Jace’s room. Although he stays with me most nights, we decided he should keep his room. I reluctantly open his door, afraid to see what’s in there but apart from the messy bed the room is empty.

I’m running late to my appoint
ment so I quickly make my way to my car, which my father bought me when the insurance from my previous car paid out. It’s the same Fiesta I had before but this one is blue.

Trying to find
my keys in my handbag, I hear the rumble of a motorbike coming to a stop behind me. I look to see Hunter climbing off his Harley.

“Hey Princess where you off to in such a rush?” he says leaning against my car.

“I have an appointment, Jace was supposed to take me but I can’t get hold of him, now I’m running late and I can’t find my keys!” I yell getting frustrated.

“Whoa
, calm down babe. Come… we can take my car.” He says putting his arm over my shoulders dragging me away towards his jeep.

Getting into his car, I let out a frustrated sigh as I battle to put the seat
belt on over my protruding belly. I rest my head back on the head rest and let out three deep breaths as I count to ten just like I used to do when I got those panic attacks.

“You okay?” Hunter says softly as he leans over me and gently puts the seat belt over me.

“No Hunter I’m not. My feet are killing me, I’m grumpy, I don’t feel comfortable, my fucking stomach gets in the way of ev-ery-thing and Jace was supposed to take me to this damn appointment and I can’t find him, so…
no
I’m not okay.” I say folding my arms like an immature child. Hunter just nods and starts driving. I let out a deep breath feeling guilty for shouting at him when he’s only trying to help.

“I’m sorry
Hunt. I don’t mean to take it out on you it just hasn’t been a good day and I hate going to these things alone.” I say softly rubbing my stomach.

“
It’s okay babe, I told you to call if you ever needed anything besides… I’m glad I’ll be there to see this.” he says smiling down at my larger than life baby bump.

Hunter comes into the room with me and I introduce Hunter to
the Doctor.

“I’m Harrison, her best friend and the baby’s godfather.” He
announces before I even get a chance to open my mouth. He winks at me, I chuckle and shake my head.

So Harrison is his real name…

The doctor leaves the room and Hunter helps me onto the bed, I place the blanket over my waist and pull my shirt up and wait for the doctor. I rub my tummy and I can’t help the giggles erupting.

“
What’s wrong?” Hunter says looking confused.

“She’s kicking
again, she’s been so active these past few weeks. Here…Feel.” I say grabbing his hand and placing it over the spot she usually kicks.

A smile forms on his face and
I let go of his large hand and he moves it over my stomach smiling.

“That’s amazing…she’s kicking so well.” he mumbles.

“Tell me about it.” I laugh.

The D
octor comes in and does her usual checkup telling me how healthy the baby is and that I should be prepared for the coming week since she could come at any time. This makes me nervous so I’m glad Hunter was there with me and I wasn’t alone.

“Thanks for coming with me today.” I say to Hunter as we stop outside the apartment.

“Between me and you?
I’m glad you couldn’t get hold of Jace, I’m so happy I got to be there and see that. It’s pretty amazing Harley.” Hunter says with a look of awe covering his face.

“If you ever have a problem reaching Jace, just give me a call babe and I’ll be there.” He says as he helps me out the Jeep.

“Thanks Hunt…thanks for everything.” I hug his waist tight and feel him wrap his arms around me too.

He walks with me into the bar to see how Jesse and the two other guys dad hired to work in the
bar are doing. I spot Jesse instantly, he smiles as he pours me a glass of orange juice and sits next to me at the bar. I show him the new ultrasound photo and he gives me a big hug.

“If you were at the appointment then why wasn’t Rave with you? He’s been sitting with that crowd all afternoon drinking it up and making a big noise.” Jesse says nodding his head to the back corner of the Club, I spot Jace sitting there with
a few guys and the usual girls, Rachelle included. He has his arm over the back of her chair, she looks me in the eye and gives me a sad look.

I knew it was too good to be true. I
never wanted to change Jace, I wanted him to change for me…well I wanted him to at least try to change for me but maybe someone like him is unable to think of anyone else but themselves. His boys are his main priority and who was I kidding thinking that we could be that perfect little family. Fact is, this isn’t his child and we are not his responsibility.

“
Shit…he forgot, didn’t he? Fucking tool. I’m sorry sweetie.” Jesse says rubbing my back resting his head on my shoulder.

“
It’s okay Jesse, it’s not like this is his baby in any case. I should have stuck to my gut from the beginning.” I take one last sip of my orange juice and try give Jesse a reassuring smile but I just can’t do it.

“
I stuck with him even though I knew it would eventually boil down to him doing this, I hate the thought of being alone  but maybe I need to get my shit together and stop thinking I can rely on him. I don’t need him… I want him sure...” I turn and take another look at Jace who hasn’t seemed to notice me yet, even though the bar is basically empty. “…but maybe this is something I need to do without him, I’m not really alone, I have all of you guys support and I don’t ever want my daughter to think when she grows up that her mother was weak and had to rely on others all the time but this is my responsibility and I guess it’s time I grow up and face that fact.” I give him a sad smile and I know he senses that it’s fake but he doesn’t say anything and I quickly leave before he can.

After eating, taking a shower and going over some class notes I sit in the lounge in front of the TV and listen to the loud music coming from the apartment next door. I know Jace must know that I’m back
by now because Hunter would have told him but it’s been two hours and he still hasn’t arrived. Maybe the novelty of the pregnancy has worm off for him.

Looking down at my phone I scroll through my contacts stopping at one in particular.
It’s only five o’clock and hopefully she doesn’t have the night shift. I press dial and listen to the dial tone until I hear her soft voice on the other end.

“Hi
Momma.” I say.

“My baby! I’ve been so worried about you! Are you okay?” she says sounding worried. I hear the television is the background.

“I’m fine, haven’t spoken to you for a while.” I mumble.

“I know
sweetie, I’ve missed you so much.” She sounds as if she’s crying and it breaks my heart to hear her this way.

“Why didn’t
you call me?” I say softly.

“I wanted to Harley…y
our…your daddy threatened me, told me to stay away from you or he will make sure I regret it. I almost drove up there just to see how you’re doing but your daddy scares me baby.” She says and I hear her sobbing into the speaker.

That’s something my father would do and I guess I
can’t blame her but if this situation was reversed I wouldn’t let anyone in the way of my daughter and I… but then again I will never treat my daughter the way I was treated as a child.

“I miss you too
Momma.” I whisper wiping away a stray tear. “I have to tell you something…”

“What’s wrong baby?” she
asks sniffing.

“I’m pregnant Momma
.” I say softly and listen for her response but she doesn’t say anything for a few seconds and I hear her turn the volume of the television in the background down.

“Oh
Harley…You’re going to be a great mother. I know I was a pretty crappy example and I was a terrible mother to you but I know you baby, you are going to be an amazing mother. I wish I could see you all big and pregnant sweetie.” She says surprising me. I was at least expecting her to yell and tell me I would turn out like her but instead she
kind of
apologized for not being the mother I needed and told me I would be nothing like her.

“Thanks …that means so much to me.
I know I never told you this enough but I love you Momma.” I tell her and I hear her cry on the other end of the call.

“I love you too and even though I’ve been a shitty
mother, I swear I’ll be the best fucking grandma you’ve ever seen.” She chuckles.

“I want to see you.
I miss you so much.” I blurt out as the tears fall.

“You ca
n come whenever you want to Harley, this will always be your home and I’ll always be here for you sweetie.” She says.

“Can I come now?” I say and I’m met my silence again.

“You want to come see me? Now? I want to see you too baby but is it safe for you to drive here? It’s a few hours away and it’s going to get dark soon.” She asks concerned.

“It’s okay mom, if I leave here now I’ll get there by nine and I’ll stay the night then leave in the morning. Can I come?” I say already making my way to my room to pack an overnight bag
eager to get away from the music next door and as far as possible for a little bit.

“Of course baby, I’ll wait up for you.
I can’t wait to see you!” she says excitedly.

I know I’m running away again but I just
need to see my mother and get some space from the noise coming from the club. Maybe driving a few hours away is a bit extreme but as far as I’m concerned the further away from this place the better the chances of my mind not thinking about what Jace is probably doing at this point and with whom.

I find my car keys in the fruit bowl
on the kitchen counter and quickly make my way out the apartment toward my car.

I finally make it to my mothers and my entire body is aching and sore but I’m so happy I’ve finally arrived. I haven’t received any calls so Jace most probably hasn’t made his way to my apartment yet. That’s if he’s even going to go back there tonight at all.

I hear the door open and see my mother come out. She still looks as beautiful as ever as she runs up to me. I’ve never seen her so happy to see me before and it brings a smile to my face.

“Oh Harley look at you! You’re so beautiful. It’s
true what they say about pregnant woman, you’re glowing baby!” she says wiping away tears.  After she takes my bag and puts it into my old room, she pulls me to the couch and that’s where all the questions start. She asks about Caleb and how he’s doing and I have to tell her all about that night and what happened then I tell her about Jace and everything that has lead up to tonight.

“I’m so sorry my baby. Your daddy was one of the good ones honey. Not many men are willing to take
the responsibility of looking after a baby while they’re so young.” She says as she pulls me to her chest and runs her hands through my hair.

“
Yeah I know Momma.” I say sadly.

“
You have so many people that are there for you. You don’t need someone to take the place of the father.  You are such a strong smart woman, you can do this sweetie.” She says softly as she continues to stroke my hair. We spent most of the night chatting and catching up, she apologizes for the way she treated me and tells me how much she regrets not spending more time with me when I was younger, she tells me that when she found out I was in the hospital she went crazy and wanted to come immediately but my father threatened her. She cried hard when she told me about how much she missed me around the house and how alone she felt.

When I wake up the next day, I find a note from
her telling me she had to be at work and didn’t want to wake me.
Wonder how many guys would be at a strip club at eleven o’clock in the morning?