This Can't be Life (13 page)

“I’m good. How ‘bout you? Wanna go get a drink or something?”

“Hell yeah, you know I do. I’m hungry, too. Call Tali and see where she is,” Stacey said, walking to the bathroom. I picked up the cordless phone hanging on the wall by my station and dialed her home number.

“Hey, Tali, what’re you doin’?” I asked, in a chipper voice.

“Nothing, girl. Just resting. I went to the house after I left the salon.”

Noticing the sad tone of her voice, I asked, “what’s wrong? What happened?” I held my breath, bracing for the bad news that was sure to come. I could feel it in my gut and my gut never lies.

“Girl, Mom and Dad are getting a divorce,” Talise said, breaking down in tears.

“What? They told you that today?”

“Yeah. Mom said that she isn’t happy any more and that Daddy is never home, so he must not be happy, either. She’s looking for a condo in
Long Beach
. Don’t tell her I told you. She said she wants to tell you herself.” Talise cried.

“Okay, I won’t, but, Talise, you have to stop crying. Stacey and I are about to come and get you. Are you dressed?”

“Yeah, I’m still dressed from earlier. I came home and just got in my bed and haven’t moved since. Where we going? I’m hungry and need a drink.” I could hear her moving around and was glad to at least get her out of the bed.

“Let’s go to Benihana in the Valley. We’ll be there in 30 minutes so, by 9:00, be downstairs. And quit crying, Tali. It’s going to be all right,” I said, trying to convince her, as well as myself. I felt like lying down and crying with her. The Miles’ have been the only parents I’ve known. I even call them Mom and Dad, so this news was devastating to me as well.

“Okay, I’ll try. I’ll be outside,” she said, blowing her nose into the phone before I hung up.

“I told Tali we’ll be there by
9:00
,” I stated, as a single tear rolled down my left cheek. “Man, Stacey, Mommy and Daddy Miles are getting a divorce.”

“Shut the fuck up! What in the hell is this world comin’ to?” Stacey asked, looking as dumbfounded as I did. “Let’s go. I’ll drive because you too emotional to be behind the wheel with me in the car,” Stacey said, as he grabbed his jacket and headed toward the back door of the salon.

“Shut up!” I yelled after him, playfully. “Let me get my purse from the office and make sure the front door is locked. I’ll meet you at the car. Oh, and Stace, can you call Benihana and see if they can reserve a table for three alone? Otherwise, we can go to the Geisha House. I don’t feel like sitting with a bunch of strangers tonight.”

It took close to 30 minutes to get to the popular Japanese restaurant in Encino. We always took the longer drive to get to this one. It was bigger than the one on La Cienega in
Beverly Hills
and, in my opinion, the food tasted much better. We walked in the restaurant and were asked to wait to be seated, so we went to the bar and ordered drinks. Talise ordered a Cadillac Margarita, Stacey, his usual Long Island Iced Tea, and I ordered a double shot of Don Julio straight up in a snifter. I needed to take a load off and tequila always did the trick.

We sat in silence for a while as we sipped our drinks and waited to be seated.

“Al signed the deed to the salon over to me,” I stated, breaking the silence. They both looked at me like I was crazy.

“Did you say he signed the deed over to you?” Stacey asked, in a very disconcerting tone.

“If he signed the deed over to you that means that you own the property the salon is on then, right? The whole damned building!” Talise said, looking puzzled.

“Exactly, Talise. That’s what I’ve been waiting to tell you guys all day. He came to the salon this morning at around
6:00
. I could tell something was wrong with him. I just don’t know what. I’ve never seen Al before
12:00
in the afternoon in all the years I’ve known him. He looked like he was in some deep shit and been up all night. I asked him if everything was okay, and of course, he said yeah.” I was really worried about my friend, but I knew time would reveal what was really going on with Al.

The host interrupted me by telling us our table was ready. He guided us to the back of the restaurant where our waitress was waiting to introduce herself. The three of us were ready to order. We knew the menu like the back of our hands.

 “So, what happened after that? When did he give you the deed?” Talise asked, after our orders were placed.

“Okay, let me see. Where did I leave off?” I asked, gathering my thoughts. “Okay, so after he left, I noticed a manila envelope on the front desk. I picked it up and went back to my office to open it. Inside, was a letter saying that he’s not coming back and that he’ll be in touch with me as soon as he can. He said that the less I know the better and to shred the letter after I read it. And there was the notarized copy of the deed. But, what bothers me the most is, if something does happen to him, how would any of us know?” I asked, shaking my head in disbelief, not really expecting an answer.

“Damn, what is this world comin’ to?” Stacey asked for the second time today.

The waitress returned, placing appetizers and sake on the table in front of us.

“So how is your mom doin’? Is she sad or anything?” Stacey asked Talise.

“No. She seems normal, I guess, like nothing’s happening. I don’t know how long this has been going on.”

“Hell, I would assume not that long. When we were over there a couple months ago they were all lovey dovey like they usually are. This doesn’t make any sense! Did you ask her how long she felt like this? I’m going over there tomorrow,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat along with a shot of sake.

“I couldn’t even think straight. I’m surprised I found my way home.”

“And Dad wasn’t there?” I asked Talise.

“Nope. She said he’s been gone for a couple of days.”

“What? You know what? I don’t even want to talk about this right now. All I know is that I’m going over there. I have one client in the morning and when I’m done, I’m going straight there.”

Mommy and Daddy Miles were my parents, as far as I was concerned. They threw me birthday parties. Daddy Miles taught me how to drive and took me to buy my first car. Mommy Miles helped me move into my dorm room and even when Talise went away to school, I spent almost every weekend with them. They treated me no differently than they had when Talise was around. It was as if I was their daughter and I couldn’t love them more if they were my real mother and father. Through middle and high school, Mommy Miles was the one that took me school shopping and dropped us off at football games and winter formals. I could go on and on about all the things Talise’s mom and dad have done for me. Other than my father, whose memory I keep sacred, they are the only parents I know.

Shortly after the waitress brought our salads and soups, the chef came to the table to begin preparing our food. With every bite of the savory shrimp, chicken, steak, or lobster that was consumed, a piece of the pain was replaced temporarily. I could really see how people ate when they got depressed.
That really made me feel better
, I thought as we sat there stuffed, with empty plates in front of us.

“I don’t know about y’all, but I can’t go home and go to sleep with my stomach this full. I’ll probably wake up in the morning about 10 pounds heavier,” I said, rubbing my belly.

“I can’t wait to see my bed. It’s calling me.”

“You just got out the bed, Talise, and now you want to get back in it? I’m with Simone. There’s no way I’m goin’ to bed with all this food in my stomach. We need to go dance it off. What y’all think about that?”

“I’m down with that, Stace. How ‘bout you, Tali?”

“You guys can drop me off at home. I have a date tomorrow and I’m tired,” she said, yawning for effect.

“You are so wack, Tali. Let’s go to Guys and Dolls, Monie.”

“That’s cool with me. I’m going to dance all night and go home and crash all by my lonesome.”

“What’s up with Deon, Simone?” Talise asked, yawning again.

“He’s good. We hang out a few times a week, and talk a few times a day. I’m still not sure what’s up with him, though. He’s definitely not like your average ball player.”

“I guess he’s not much of a challenge for you since he’s so into you. Girl, you better see what’s up with that man. He’s really sniffin’ your ass, stayin’ up in the hospital with you and all,” Stacey commented, teasingly.

“And how he sent her ass flowers for every damned day that she was in that place,” Talise added.

“That ain’t shit to him, Talise. What? Maybe a hundred dollars a day on some tulips? Hell, that ain’t doing shit to him but making his game tighter, or so he thinks. I’m not a fool. I know how this shit works. Be nice in the beginning, get her to like you, and then flip the script. I’m not havin’ that. That’s why ain’t no man getting’ my heart, ‘cause 90 percent of the time, they leave. I’d rather block out all that emotional shit and be realistic.”

“Monie, you can’t live your life like that. Not all men are like that. Why do you feel like that, anyway? You never give a man a chance to leave you. You’re the one that always leaves,” Talise added, sympathetically.

“But I’ve seen it, Talise. Look at how hurt you were when you broke up with
Davis
. That nigga had you shook. Look at the shit that happened with you and J.J. That fucker lied from the beginning and played you like a damned game of spades. Look how my mother was when my father was killed; he had her shook. Look how fucked up I was after Byron beat my ass like he was my pimp when all I did was love him since high school. Look at Mommy and Daddy Miles, your own parents, Talise. After all this damned time, they’re breaking up!
Fuck that!
” I felt a lump growing in my throat that was too big to swallow as Stacey sat, sipping the last of his drink and Talise stared at me like I had lost my mind.

“How can you compare your father dying and leaving your mother to abandonment? How can you compare Mommy and Daddy breaking up to abandonment? They’ve been together for almost 30 years! Byron is a fucking lunatic. Not your fault. And how dare you even bring up Davis, Simone.
Fuck that!
Loving is better than never loving at all. When you love someone, and I mean truly love someone, that shit feels so good you can’t compare it to shit else. Especially when that person loves you back. I’ll be damned if I spend my life like a coward, afraid to love someone, scared they’re goin’ to leave. Shit, a powerful woman is a woman in love!”

“Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit! I’ll be damned if I’m going to be stuck and fucking hurtin’ and cryin’, lying in the bed for weeks like you did when you broke up with
Davis
. Was love worth it then? Did you feel so damned powerful? I don’t think so. You hurt so bad that that shit hurt me. And yes, I’ve felt love. I loved Byron! He was my first love…shit, my first everything. But love didn’t stop him from stomping me to the ground like I was a man. I loved my father with all my soul, with all I had because he
was
all I had, and he fucking got killed. I know you’re going to say that it’s different, but he was my heart and I remember everything about him; how he smelled, how he smiled at me when he saw my face, how his presence alone quieted a whole room. I remember all that and, most of all, I remember feeling pain that I can’t even describe when I found out that he was dead. My heart was broken and still is all these years later. The pain doesn’t go away and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. So, why would I openly let myself be in a situation where I could feel anything remotely similar to that?” They were both quiet and looking away from me. “Exactly, I won’t!”

I got up and walked to the bathroom. I needed to get away from that table. I pushed the bathroom door open and stepped inside. I looked at myself in the mirror, willing the tears that were forming in my eyes to go away. Talise walked in and took me in her arms.