This Can't be Life (5 page)

It seemed that everything she put on, she wore well. She was showing just the right amount of cleavage and enough skin that made me want to reach out and touch her. Her diamond earrings sparkled each time the sun hit them and her hair blew in the wind and hung around her shoulders as soft curls framed her face. She was definitely my definition of beauty.

When we got to the restaurant, we were seated immediately.

“So, where’s your girlfriend?” Simone asked, after we got comfortable at our table. I was caught completely off guard because I’d never told her that I had a girlfriend.

“What do you mean?” I almost stuttered, saved by the perky waitress who, after taking our order, practically skipped off. I stared at Simone for a while in silence, contemplating what I would tell her.

“Deon, you’re cool with me and I hope I’m cool with you. So, let’s keep it real. I know you have a girl somewhere. I date, but I’m not seeing anyone seriously. But, you seem like the type that would be in a serious relationship,” she said, smiling and looking me directly in my eyes, her stare unwavering.

“Well, she lives in
Atlanta
. We’ve been together since college.”

“Is that where you’re from?”

“Yeah, I grew up there and decided to stay when I was offered a scholarship.”

“I would’ve never guessed that. You don’t have even a hint of an accent.”

“Naw, my moms didn’t play that. We had to always speak what she called ‘proper’ English.”

“Oh, okay. So, why doesn’t your girl live out here with you?”

“Because she can’t handle all this…actually, she doesn’t
want
the type of life I live. Girls blatantly flirting with me in her face, all the attention that I get. It really takes a certain type of woman to be able to deal with a man in my situation and she can’t handle it. To be honest, I really don’t know what’s happening between us right now.” I hated talking about this because, no matter how tough I tried to be, this situation caused me pain.

“A few months back, she came to see me. We were playing the Bobcats in
North Carolina
and when we got back to my hotel room, there was a girl lying on my bed, naked. I didn’t know who she was. Hell, I had never seen that girl before in my life. It tripped
me
out, but it
really
tripped her out.”

“Okay…so, what happened?” Simone was entertained by the story.

“She flipped out and ran out of the room, screaming and crying. She thought I knew the girl, which was stupid. Why would I do that, you know? If I was going to cheat, which is not even in me to do, I wouldn’t have even brought her back to the room. After about thirty minutes of searching for her, I found my girl walking the streets, crying hysterically. I had to file a police report for breaking and entering just so she would believe that I really didn’t know the chick. It was just way too much for me.”

“Yeah, that sounds crazy. It would have pissed me off, too, but I wouldn’t have left. It would have definitely gotten settled right then and there. Was the girl arrested?”

“Naw, I don’t know where she went. We gave the detective a description of her, but they never figured out who she was. Since then, things haven’t been the same between us.” I said, as the waitress sat our drinks on the table.

“Okay, so the big question is, if you don’t cheat, why are you here with me? Why was I at your home last night? Don’t you think that’s something that you should’ve told me before now?” I could tell that she wasn’t mad, just asking a legitimate question.

“I know it’s over. It’s over in my heart and that’s why I’ve moved on. I know she has, too. We just haven’t officially done it yet. We hardly talk to each other, maybe a few times a month, and that’s just, like, courtesy calls. She couldn’t support me the way I supported her, but it is what it is. I could’ve said that I don’t have a girlfriend and technically, I don’t, but I don’t lie. So, why don’t you have a boyfriend?” I was trying to change the subject as a look of shock came across Simone’s face. Byron Boyd, a wide receiver for the San Diego Chargers, walked up to our table.

“Hey, what’s up, man?” I got up to shake his hand and give him a hug. We were good friends in college.

“Chillin’, man. Just passing through. Season’s ‘bout to start, so I’ll be heading back to Diego in a couple of days,” he said, trying to keep his eyes off Simone.

“That’s cool,” I replied, looking at Simone who looked very uncomfortable.

“Byron, this is Simone Johnson. Simone, Byron Boyd.” You could cut the tension in the air with a knife.

“I know Byron.”

“It’s been a long time. How you been? As a matter of fact, can I talk to you for a minute…alone?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Talk to me for what, Byron? Please don’t start no shit with me. I’m not in the mood for this!” I was shocked.

“After all we been through? You change your number and do the shit you did to me, and I don’t deserve to have a minute of your time?” He pleaded with her. Byron was the biggest dog in college, so it was surprising to see him standing there sounding so vulnerable. This was tripping me out.

“What I did to
you
? You’ve got to be kidding me! There’s nothing
to
discuss, Byron! What do you think we could possibly talk about? You weren’t trying to discuss anything when you put your…” She stopped in mid-sentence, exactly where I felt there would have been at least some hint that could’ve given me an idea of what had gone on between them. She took a deep breath as if she was trying to regain her composure.

“If I wanted to discuss anything with you, I would’ve done it a long time ago. Now, can you please act like you’ve never seen me, Byron? Shit, this world is just too damned small.”

Saved again by the waitress bringing the food but this time, I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. All I knew was that I wanted to know what the hell was going on. Byron walked off without so much as a goodbye as the waitress placed the food on the table. I sat down, feeling as if I had witnessed something I shouldn’t have.

“Can you wrap my food to go, please? I’ve lost my appetite,” she asked the waitress.

“Sure!” She was way too damned perky for the obvious tension in the air.

“We can do this another time if you want, but my mood is really messed up now and I don’t want to be here. Can you have her wrap your food also?” she asked, for the sake of trying to be nice. Either the answer was yes or I’d have to find another way home, I was sure.

“Yeah, can you wrap mine to go also? What was that all about Simone?” I asked, after the waitress walked off to wrap our untouched lunches.

“Please, Deon, don’t even ask. Byron’s a crazy ass lunatic and I don’t
ever
want to talk about him!” she said, through clenched teeth.

The ride to my house was a very awkward, silent one. John Legend was flowing from her Bose system and I was confused as hell. I didn’t know what went on between her and Byron, but I could tell that it wasn’t just some groupie thing. I could tell that he really had feelings for her and I needed to know what happened. We pulled up to my doorman and I signaled him off.

“I really like spending time with you, Simone.” She looked at me with her sad eyes, then immediately looked away. She was a closed book and she wasn’t going to let me in. Of course, that bothered me, but it also fascinated me. I wasn’t planning to give up.

“Me, too, Deon. I’m sorry about lunch. Look, thanks for coming with me.” She was staring out of the driver’s side window.  I leaned over and, with my right hand, turned her chin so that she would be looking at me and kissed her on the lips.

“You can trust me, Simone. I promise, I won’t hurt you.”

“I’ve heard that before, Deon,” she said, looking away.

“I’m not like anyone you’ve met before, Simone. You’ll see. I’ll call you later,” I said, as I hopped out of her car.

It seemed to take me forever to get inside of my house. For a split second, I wondered why I chose the penthouse but, as soon as I walked in and saw my view, I remembered. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed the cordless phone off the wall, and started dialing my agent’s office number.

“Hey, Melissa. What’s gong on?” I asked my agent’s secretary.

“Busy, as usual. Ron’s in a meeting. Hold on, let me buzz him and tell him you’re on the line.”

“No, that’s okay. Actually, I called to talk to you. I need a favor. Can you get me Byron Boyd’s personal contact information?” I knew that if anyone could, she could.

“
San Diego
Chargers Byron?”

“Yeah.”

“Of course, Deon, anything for you. Give me 30 minutes tops and I’ll call you with the info. Are you on your cell or at home?”

“Call me at home. Thanks, Melissa.” I hung up the phone and waited.

Simone

“Shit, shit, shit,” I yelled, as I pulled away from Deon’s building. What perfect timing. I can’t believe that sick asshole had the nerve to come talk to me like he had never beaten my ass and stomped me to the ground. I tried to calm myself for the next few blocks, willing the tears to evaporate from my eyes. They were blurring my vision and I didn’t want to cry. It hurt to see Byron again. Every now and then, I’d be looking through a magazine and see him out and about, pictured with an actress here and there, but it had been years since I’d seen him in person. As I hit
Melrose Blvd
, I dialed Talise at work.

“Is Talise in?” I asked, when her assistant picked up.

“No, she left a few hours ago, Simone.”

“Thank you, Ricky.” I hung up the line and speed dialed her cell. No answer.

“Where are you?” I yelled, trying not to have a panic attack. I dialed her home number and, bingo, she picked up. Thank God!

“Hey,” Talise answered.

“Talise, you are never going to believe what just happened,” I began, as tears began to slide down my cheeks.

“What happened?”

“I was at the Cheesecake Factory on
Beverly
, having lunch with Deon, and guess who just up and came to the table to chat?”

“Who?” Talise asked, intrigued.

“Byron. I saw him walk in and I was hoping that he would act like he had some sense and not come near me. I couldn’t believe it when he came to the table, acting like nothing ever happened. Evidently, he knows Deon, which doesn’t surprise me. Talise, he even had the nerve to ask me if we could go talk. Can you believe that?”

“What? That bastard! I can’t believe him. Who does he think he is? You should have called the fucking police. I hate that poor excuse of a man. I swear he’s bitch-made!”

“Talise, calm down. It’s okay. I’m fine,” I said, trying to calm her. She was starting to overheat and it didn’t take much for her to do that when it came to Byron Boyd.

Talise knew how he hurt me and how much anger I still carried because of what he put me through. She hoped, as much as I did, that I’d never see him again. He hurt me more than I could ever express. It was painful to see the face of the first man I had given myself to, the first man that I had ever given my heart to, the first and last man who’d ever dared to put his hands on me and live to tell about it. I stopped at the light and opened my glove compartment to put Res in my 10-disc changer. I needed to hear
Ice King
.
I knew it would make me feel better. Her music always did.