This Can't be Life (30 page)

“When’s the last time you heard from your father?” I asked softly.

“When I was in DC for a conference about two years ago, I called him to let him know that I was in town. He asked me where I was staying and for how long. I invited him to come have lunch with me and he said he’d call me back. I never heard anything else from him. He died six months later. My brother told me that he had been sick with colon cancer. They said it happened pretty quickly. Good thing he didn’t have to suffer like Gramps, huh?” he added sarcastically. “I’ll never understand that shit,” he said raising his voice. “The man that was as mean as mean could be to his own flesh and blood got a quick, semi-painless death, and the man who was filled with love for his family and those who weren’t had to suffer for years?” he asked, looking over at me. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing for a while. Didn’t really think he expected an answer for that question anyway.

“So what’s next, Malachi? You can’t keep living like this. You are jeopardizing lives and all that you’ve worked so hard for. Even your own life! Is it worth it to give up all that you have worked so hard for to have a drink? For a crutch? You are stronger than that, baby. I know you are,” I whispered, rubbing his back.

“I know it’s not going to be easy, but I’m going to stop. I’m ready and I’m tired. I don’t want to live like this anymore. The last thing I want to do is hurt someone and lose my license to practice medicine, but most importantly, I don’t want to lose you. You’re right. I can’t keep going on like this. I’m killing myself and now that you’re in my life, I’m not ready to die.” I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly. I didn’t want to let him go. He was like a child needing reassurance and security.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here with you through hell or high water. I promise. I love you, Malachi, and I’m happy that you love me, too. But I want you to love yourself and live for yourself first.”

“I love myself, but I love you more. I know I can make it through this with you by my side,” he said matter-of-factly. He kissed my forehead and I squeezed him tighter.

“I’ll be here. I promise,” I whispered as tears spilled down my cheeks. “I know it may be a long and hard road, but I’m going to help you get through this, Malachi. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Stacey

“Damn, Tali, why you wait so long to get a touch up?
You gon need a supa, girl
.”
We all laughed at my feeble attempt to sound like the flamboyant gay guy from the movie
A Low Down Dirty Shame.

“You better not even come near my hair with no damned super strength perm, Stacey!” Talise laughed. It had been a while since I had been with my girls. We were in my moderate sized pool house that I had turned into a small salon so I could cater to my regular, high payin' clients.

“If you and Simone weren’t so up under those men y’all effin’ with, I could’ve gotten my hair done sooner. So, I don’t want to hear nothing. Y’all don’t care anyway,” Talise pouted.

“Whatever. You’ve been up under the
good doctor
every night, too, so you can’t say shit, Tali. And when you stop cursing?” Simone asked Talise.

“I know right? What’s up with this fuckin “effin’” shit and this “ish” shit?” I cosigned for Simone.

“First of all, I always make time to get my hair done and chill with y’all, in that exact order. And cursing is unladylike,” Talise replied, laughin’.

“Yeah, what the fuck, eva,” Simone and I replied simultaneously before we all fell out laughin’.

“So you been hangin’ tough with Banks, huh?” I asked Simone.

“Yeah, he’s real cool. It’s surprising. I really like him, you guys!” Simone squealed.

“What makes him so special? All of a sudden, you like somebody and it’s him? Why him, Monie?” Talise asked with her face scrunched up.

“What’s wrong with Carlton?” Simone asked, already on the defensive.

“One, he’s married,” I said, gettin' it started.

“Two, they got kids,” Talise added.

“Three, he’s a rapper, Simone. He has a hoe in every area code,” I said, probably bein’ a little too blunt for her sensitive ass.

“Four, he has the same name as that nerdy goober from Fresh Prince of Bellaire.” I added.

“Five…” Talise started before Simone cut her off.

“Fuck y’all!” Simone interrupted, getting angrier by the minute.

“I’m just saying, Simone,” Talise started. “You deserve so much better than that. What about Deon? You never even called him back after he left you all those messages on the salon voicemail. You don’t know what could have happened with him or why he did what he did.”

“You guys are really tripping. Deon dissed me! Fuck him! I told you guys that we talked at that damned Xbox PlayStation or whatever kind of party it was, and I told his ass off. He knows that I moved on. He knows he fucked up! He left
me
hanging. I didn’t do shit to warrant that, so he isn’t such a good guy after all. I don’t know why you guys keep bringing him up, knowing what he did to me!” Simone huffed. “Carlton gives me butterflies, you guys!” Simone whined. “He makes me feel good and you guys know I’m a cynic when it comes to love and all that shit,” she pleaded for our understandin'.

“Well, we just want you to be careful. We ain’t hatin’. That damned man is fine as hell!” I said, makin Simone and Talise laugh.

“He is, shit. That damned Banks looks finger lickin’ good!” I said, kissing my fingertips. “But he ain’t as fine as my man. Now Tyron is like a box of the finest chocolates. He’s crazy as hell, so you never know which one you gon’ get, but they all taste good as hell!” We laughed.

“Speaking of Tyron, I saw your man at the BET Awards last night with his girl, Stacey.” Simone said, volunteerin' information that I didn’t care to hear.

“So, what, Simone. And who were you with, the adulterer?” I asked. I already knew that she was. I just wanted to rub her shit in her face like she was tryin’ to rub my shit in my face. “How could you go with them, Simone? That’s fucked up. I wouldn’t have done your hair for that shit if I would’ve known all the nasty little details.”

“Stacey, I didn’t know that we would be riding and sitting together at the damned event. Carlton asked me to go and I said yes,” Simone sighed. “It was weird, too. She’s so oblivious to what’s going on behind her back. Damned shame. I kind of feel sorry for her, though. She seems really nice.”

“Fuck her and you, Simone! You should be feelin’ sorry for Banks’ wife
and
his kids. Shit, Tyron ain’t married. And what, y’all best girlfriends now? Y’all meetin' for lunch and goin’ shoppin’ on Rodeo or some shit?” I was gettin’ pretty pissed.

“Come on now, Stace. You know you my boy, first and foremost. I’m just stating the facts. And no, we’re not best friends now or ever. And fuck Carlton’s wife!”

“You guys are trippin’. Neither one of those women has done anything to either one of y’all,” Talise interjected. “I’m sure Banks’ wife is a nice girl, too, but I bet you don’t want to hear about that do you Simone?” Talise asked.

“Yeah, do you Simone?” I asked, placin' my hand on my hip.

“No, I don’t. Sorry I even brought it up! Damn!”

“Your half ass apology is accepted.” I stuck my tongue out in her direction and threw my comb at her when she reciprocated.

“I need to tell y’all somethin’,” I said very seriously after a moment of silence.

“What’s wrong?” Simone asked full of concern.

“You’re scaring us, Stacey. Spit it out, damn it,” Talise added, lookin’ at me through the mirror with a worried expression on her face.

“I’m pregnant,” I stated with the utmost seriousness, making us all fall out laughin’ uncontrollably.

“For real, Stace. What is it?” Simone asked, wiping tears of laughter off of her cheeks.

“Y’all remember the old ass pervert that sent me the Rolex to the salon? Your clients’ husband, Simone?” I asked.

“Yeah, yeah, go on,” Simone replied.

“Well, close to four months ago…” I told them about the first delivery by FedEx and about the incident with the water bottle.

“What the fuck! Did you call the police, Stacey?” Talise asked, quickly forgettin' to be
ladylike
.

“No, and I’m not goin’ to call the police, either. I can’t have them questionin' me about my lifestyle and who I’m sleepin' and spendin’ time with. I can’t have them all up in my business like that. I know it’s that son of a bitch that’s doin’ this shit, but the police don’t and I can’t prove it.”

“You still need to make some type of report, Stacey. God forbid that sicko does something to you. No one would even know,” Simone said rubbin' her temples.

“You’re right, Simone. Stacey, I can’t believe that you haven’t told us this shit earlier,” Talise said. I could tell she was pretty damned pissed off at me.

“Y’all know all the stuff that has been goin’ on. I didn’t want to worry y’all. Sorry. I should have said somethin’ sooner.” The room was quiet as I rinsed and shampooed Talise’s hair.

“Don’t do that shit again. And you better let us know the next time he makes any type of contact with you,” Talise demanded while I shampooed her hair.

“I won’t and I will. I would hire a private investigator or somethin’, but I don’t want anyone lookin’ into my life. They just might stumble upon a story on Tyron Marks and his gay lover, and that would be the end of my heart,” I sighed.

“You need to worry about the end of your life. That should be more important, wouldn’t ya think?” Simone said. I could see her eyes were starting to water.

 “Don’t you start crying, Simone,” I went to hug her. “You pregnant or somethin’, ‘cause your ass is real emotional lately?” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah, right. By the divine grace of God. You know I’m not active right now, but I will be soon,” Simone said mischievously as I went back to dryin' Talise’s hair with a towel.

“But seriously, y’all.” I said on a slightly lighter note. “I’ll figure out somethin’. This asshole is just tryin’ to scare me, that’s all. I’ll be fine. Don’t y’all worry about me. Now give me a hug.” I felt a tear sneakin' out of the corner of my right eye as the three of us stood there huggin'.

“Now look who might be pregnant. You’re the one always crying.” Simone wiped the lone tear from my cheek and wiped her hand on my smock as we laughed.

“Yeah, I’ve had a lot of Tyron’s babies up in me, so I very well could be.”

“You are so disgusting,” Talise shrieked. “Seriously, you guys, let’s promise to never keep any more secrets from each other for as long as we all shall live. Now, say I do.”

“I do,” Simone and I said together.

“Now, Simone, that motha fucka Tyron wasn’t kissin’ all up on that bitch, now was he?” I asked seriously.

Deon

“Simone, I’ve been trying to get in touch with you since I got back from
Atlanta. Please, let me explain,” I said when I caught Simone standing alone by the bar at Boulevard3. We’d made eye contact when she first walked in with that rapper; it was like she could feel my presence in the room. I could tell from the look in her eyes that it wasn’t going to be easy to get her to hear me out. I watched and waited until she was alone, then I made my move.