This is Living (Living #1.5) (11 page)

He flashes his usual smile and says, “Not today. Sorry about going all Dr. Phil on you. I’m not saying anything negative about Chloe. You know I think of her as a sister. Look how much shit I give her. Would I do that if I didn’t love her?”

At that point, a nurse steps into the room saving him from my answer. Stepping in front of me, she says, “Dr. Reece?”

I shake my head yes and she goes on to introduce herself.

“Hi, I’m Kim. I’m one of the OR nurses. I was in with Dr. Gibbs during your wife’s procedure. He asked me to let you know that everything went well. There are some minor things he wants to discuss with you, but on the whole, everything is good. Mrs. Reece will be going into recovery and then to her room once she’s awake and we get her pain under control. You might be able to go back there since you’re staff or they will have you wait until she’s in her room to see her. Dr. Gibbs will be out in a bit to let you know her full status and he can direct you to recovery. The recovery room nurse will let you know whether you can go back or not.”

I thank her and sit back with a sigh of relief. Her words come back to me…some minor things…and my chest tightens again. I’m familiar with medical speak. We all say it’s minor unless you’re bleeding out from a stab wound.

Since there isn’t anything I can do until I know, I turn my attention back to Connor. “You’re not off the hook. But I’ll leave you alone for now. As for what you were saying, I don’t disagree…I’m aware there needs to be some changes from both of us. It doesn’t mean I’m going to quit trying to give her the best life possible though.”

He shoots me a grin in return and the conversation ends. We’re not usually so prone to relationship conversations…not lately anyway.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a figure moving quickly towards us in scrubs and I immediately recognize Dr. Gibbs. He walks into the waiting room with his head down and when he looks up, I see a bit of confusion in his eyes.

It’s ridiculous, but I want to laugh like I always do when people see us for the first time 

Not waiting for him to reach me, I walk towards him. Whatever he has to say, I want to hear alone.

Extending a hand, he says, “Hey Dr. Reece, how are you holding up?”

I doubt he really wants my real answer so I give the standard answer: “Fine, thanks.”

He jumps right in with his postsurgical report. “Mrs. Reece is doing well. I performed a laparoscopic D&C with mostly normal results. My abnormal findings were endometriosis in the uterus and on the left ovary. I feel that the endometrial tissue is what caused the placenta abruption. I excised the tissue and she shouldn’t have any problems for a while.

We can talk about it more later in my office. She’s in recovery right now…probably for at least 45 minutes more. I did a lot of work so she’s in some pain. Check with the recovery room nurse for where you should go next.”

He stops for a moment, then puts his hand out and says, “I’m sorry for your loss. Page me if you have any questions or if Chloe needs anything.”

I nod my head, not saying anything, although I know as a medical professional I should ask questions. Right now, my focus is on getting to Chloe, I can ask questions later.

I motion to Connor for us to go and as we’re walking out, Dr. Gibbs turns and says, “You gave me a bit of a start there. I thought I was seeing double for a minute…until I realized he’s dressed in civvies and you’re in scrubs.”

Nodding, I give the requisite grin, and he turns back to go on his way. Connor and I follow until we reach the door leading to the recovery room.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be in here or if I can even get back there at all. You don’t have to wait. Thanks for coming and sitting with me. And the pep talk.”

As I’m speaking, he’s typing out a text with an annoyed look on his face. “Go see about your wife. I’ll wait.”

I look over at his phone and he says, “Don’t. Go and check on Chloe…and find out which room she’s going to…I’ll wait here.”

Connor reaches around me and hits the buzzer to alert the staff someone is waiting for information about a patient. I decide to quit questioning him about whatever is bothering him…not that I don’t care…he obviously doesn’t want to talk about it. And I need to concentrate on Chloe.

A couple of minutes later, someone opens the door and gives me an update on her. They feel that it would be best that I wait for her in her assigned room…something I’m not a fan of, but I don’t push it…I’m not an expert on recent surgical patients. Also, if I’m telling the truth, I’m not sure I can handle seeing her in uncontrolled pain.

Connor and I make our way to room 1803 and as we sit there talking, everything is hitting me and I feel sick. I’m not looking forward to the conversations following her waking up. Or the fact that I don’t know what her mood is going to be towards me as well.

Sometime later, when she arrives, all those feelings are pushed aside. They transfer her to the patient bed and though she moans a little from the movement, she doesn’t wake. Connor and I sit there in silence until I feel my phone vibrating. Taking my phone out, I see I have a page regarding a patient.

I call back, praying this is something I can address over the phone. Of course, it isn’t. Fucking hell. I have to leave. Looking over at Connor, I have an idea.

“Do you have to be somewhere anytime soon?”

With a weird look, he asks, “No, why?”

“I’ve got a couple of patients I have to see. I need you to stay here in case Chloe wakes up. I don’t want her to be alone when she does. She’s going to be disoriented and in pain.”

He quickly agrees and I move on telling him my idea. Except now he’s looking at me like I’ve lost my mind…maybe I have, but right now I’m going to do whatever I have to do to make sure I’m here when she wakes…even if it’s not actually me.

S
itting in Chloe’s room after her surgery, I’m staring at my phone rereading mine and Madison’s messages. I hear Jayson curse under his breath and then he asks me if I have to be somewhere.

Since I’m sure as hell not going home right now, I say, “No.”

And then the next thing he says has me thinking he’s drunk or high.

“You want me to be you if she wakes up? No way. What if she starts saying something you don’t want anyone else to hear? And she isn’t going to fall for that. She will know it’s not you in a heartbeat.”

He doesn’t respond for a moment and I’m thinking I got through to him until he says, “No, she won’t. She’ll be drugged from the anesthesia and pain medication. You don’t have to say anything. Just hold her hand or something.”

Now, I think he’s really lost it. “You want me to touch her, too?”

He laughs and says, “Yes. I’ve seen you do it before.”

Honestly, I think all the stress from his job, he and Chloe fighting, and now losing the baby has screwed up his brain.

“All right,” I agree with a grin. “But if she falls in love with me, I’m not to blame.”

Rolling his eyes, he says, “Whatever, dickhead. Just do it. I’ll be back soon. Text me if she starts waking up and I’ll try to get here as fast as possible.”

Stopping to tap out a message on his phone, he winks and says, “Just think of it as something you can add to the list to give her shit about later.”

“Whatever, dude, and don’t wink at me. It’s creeping me out.”

With a laugh he walks out and I’m left alone with my sister-in-law who may wake up and think I’m her husband…yeah, that’s going to be great. Of course, he is right. Once she’s well, it is definitely going on the “Give Chloe shit list.” It needs some new material anyway.

I click on the TV and watch some reality TV on Bravo. I would rather be tortured than admit this to anyone, but actually I like it. How can I help it when Madison was always watching all of the Housewife shows; those women are whacked and fucking hilarious to watch. Since the only other person in this room is drugged out of her mind, I’m probably safe. Still I look over every once in a while to make sure she hasn’t woken up…I would never live it down if she saw me watching this show.

An hour goes by and Jayson still isn’t back yet. Chloe keeps moving around in the bed and groaning; I’m guessing from the pain. I’m engrossed in a catfight when I hear her voice.

Looking up, I see her staring at me. She doesn’t say anything or let on that she knows it’s me so maybe Jayson is right. Also, her eyes look pretty glazed over from the drugs so this might work after all.

She closes her eyes for a moment and I breathe a sigh of relief. Except that relief is gone as quick as it came when I hear her whispered words, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Hell, what do I say here?

I try to think of what Jayson would do. “Uh, I wouldn’t leave you alone…you know that.”

Tears start trickling down her cheeks and all I can think is: Shit, fuck…and any other curse word I can’t think of right now.

Trying to come up with something to do, I grab a tissue and hand it to her. Wiping her face, she puts it on the rolling tray next to her. As she moves, she groans and now I’m starting to freak out.

I send a message to Jayson that he better listen to or I’m going to kill him.

Connor:
She’s awake. Get the hell back here now!

Turning back to her, I ask, “Are you in pain? Do you need me to call the nurse?”

She shakes her head no and asks, “Can you lie down with me?”

Hell no, I cannot. That’s it…I’m murdering my brother. I always wanted to be an only child anyway.

Backing away from the bed, I answer, “I don’t think so. I might hurt you. I’ll wait right here.”

And that triggers triple the tears than before. Her next words make me feel like a bastard and amps up my incentive to put Jayson away permanently.

“I don’t blame you for not wanting to. I can see you’re mad at me. I would be too if you treated me like I did you.”

Not wanting to hear any more of their personal business or make her cry, I inch over to the bed like it’s a bomb about to explode.

Look, just lie down…she doesn’t know it’s you.

Looking down at her, I say, “No, no, it’s fine. I’m not mad at you.”
Although you’re going to be mad at me when I’m done with your husband.
“I just don’t want to hurt you since you’re in pain.”

Gingerly, I lie down next to her and she leans against me. I’ve got my arms folded in front of me and I think:
This isn’t so bad.

Until she says, “I think you
are
mad. You’re all stiff and you aren’t touching me.

Shaking my head slightly, I know it’s suck it up time. Jayson would do this for Madison in this situation. So I turn towards her and wrap my arm lightly across her waist and the other above her head.

In return, she leans her head on my chest and her next words make me laugh. “You smell funny.”

I know exactly what she’s thinking. I don’t wear the same cologne Jayson wears and that’s what she’s smelling. “Well, I’m trying something new; I thought you would like it.”

“It’s ok. I like your usual stuff better, “she says in a sleepy voice.

“You need to sleep, princess,” I say, really getting into the role. I know that’s what Jayson would say.

Grabbing onto my shirt, she mutters, “Ok. Don’t go anywhere though.”

She hangs onto my shirt and I’m thinking it’s a bit surreal that I’m in this bed. I tell myself to get over it. It’s not like I’m screwing her or anything…I’m performing a public service.

I switch off the screaming TV ladies and sit back for the long haul. My phone beeps with an incoming message…and it’s not good news.

Jayson:
I can’t right now. I’ll be back soon.

My eyes narrow at the screen and I consider calling the asshole and letting him know he doesn’t have long to live. What the fuck ever…I’ll tell him when I see him.

Suddenly tired, I set my phone down and lie back. This bed sucks and my back is hurting, which you would think would keep me from sleeping.
Maybe if we both go to sleep, we won’t have to talk and she won’t touch me anymore than she already is.

Now I’m rolling my eyes. It’s not like she is going to jump me. She just had surgery. Plus it’s Chloe. When did I become such a little bitch anyway?

Making up my mind to go with the flow, I settle in more comfortably and Chloe cuddles into me. I close my eyes again thinking she is asleep until I hear, “I love you.”

I freeze and then think:
Ok, I do love her…as a sister…so I can say it back. Jesus, this is fucking weird.

She’s just had a huge loss and surgery plus she’s drugged. So I do what any other man would do, I hope, and say, “Love you too, babe.”

“Did you just call me babe?”

My eyes pop open…Jayson never calls her babe.
I
call Madison, “babe.”

I look down at her and her eyes are still closed so quickly say, “Uh yeah.”

She doesn’t answer and I breathe a sigh of relief. That was too close. Where is he at? Yeah, it looks like I’m going away for life since Texas frowns on fratricide.

Thirty minutes later, the fucker finally walks back in Chloe’s room.

With a grin, he says, “You look pretty comfortable there.”

“What can I say? She loves me. She even told me so. Since I had to be you, I said I loved her back.”

His eyes narrow a bit and he looks like he’s getting pissed. Since I’m not a complete ass, I quickly move on.

“Jesus, J, I thought she caught me a couple of times. She told me I smell funny and then I called her babe, which she immediately picked up on. I thought maybe she knew, but she kept falling back to sleep.”

Gingerly, I pry my shirt out of Chloe’s hands and unwrap myself from around her. Jayson moves in and lies down next to her and I’m glad that’s over. My nerves are shot; I think I need a drink.

I tap him on the leg and say with a smirk, “Ok, I’ve got to go. Switching chicks was fun; we should do it again sometime when Chloe’s lucid.”

Jayson is so predictable. “In your dreams, fuckface. Go home before I tell your wife you’ve become a swinger with Chloe as your first partner.”

“It was your idea. See ya, asshole.”

“Yeah, whatever. Bye.”

I open the door to walk out and my conscience kicks in. Walking back in, I see a look of surprise come across his face.

Instead of answering, I lean down and give him a one armed hug and say, “Sorry this happened. I wish it would have worked out. Tell Chloe I came by.”

He nods without answering. And I know he’s grateful for the sentiment. With that, I walk out and head for my car wondering what will be waiting for me at home.