This is What I Did (15 page)

Dad bought an elliptical machine.

He got it at Gart Sports because he went there with Mom and came back with the minivan all loaded up.

They honked and when we came out Dad was opening the back hatch and Mom was sort of jumping up and down.

She said: I’m so excited. Look what your father bought.

And Dad looked sort of mad.

Mack: Wow, cool. It’s an elliptical.

Ryan: Those things are expensive.

Mack: Are you still going to get the new basketball standard?

Dad didn’t answer. He was trying to get it out of the back and we were all staring.

Mom: Go help your father, boys. Oh, it’s going to be so great.

We put it in the family room. In the corner so if you used it you could watch TV.

Dad used it twice.

I use it sometimes.

After everyone is asleep, because it’s hard to get the rhythm right and I look stupid.

But it’s pretty good.

Yesterday I went outside when Mack and Ryan were shooting and I sat on the grass.

Ryan: Want to play?

Me: That’s okay.

Mack: Come on, barf bag. Let’s play horse. We haven’t played forever.

And it was true, we hadn’t.

So I said okay and then I played.

I also told them about palindromes and this one: Butt raft fart tub.

They couldn’t believe it and it was so funny and we were laughing so hard.

Dr. Benson asks me a lot of questions.

Mostly about Zyler now.

Dr. Benson: Well, have you tried to contact him?

Me: No.

Dr. Benson: Why not?

Me: I don’t know. I don’t think I can.

Dr. Benson: I don’t see why you couldn’t.

Me: I don’t even know where they put him.

Dr. Benson: Well, I’m sure we could find out.

Me: I don’t know.

Dr. Benson: You don’t know what?

Me: I don’t know if it’s a good idea to go around looking for him.

Dr. Benson: I don’t understand what you mean.

Me:

Dr. Benson:

Me:

Dr. Benson: Do you want to talk about it?

Me: I don’t know.

Dr. Benson: Okay. Okay, let’s see. So you haven’t contacted him. You don’t know where he is and you don’t know if you want to contact him.

Me: My parents are always asking me this but I don’t know. I mean, I want to contact him or whatever but I don’t know if it’d be a good idea.

Dr. Benson: A good idea because he might get in trouble or something?

Me: Would he?

Dr. Benson: I seriously doubt it.

Me: Oh.

Dr. Benson: Or maybe you’re scared to talk to him.

Me:

Dr. Benson: Is that it?

Me:

Dr. Benson: Logan?

Me: No. I’m not scared. I don’t feel like talking about this.

Dr. Benson: Okay.

I didn’t get it.

Sometimes Laurel is kind of weird.

When we were putting the leaves on the branches for the Lost Boys tree, Laurel whispered to me: Did you get it?

Me:

Laurel: Well?

Me: I don’t know.

Laurel: Is it true?

Me: What?

Laurel: You know.

I kept nailing things in and tried to think. I didn’t know what she was talking about all the way.

Laurel: Heeeeeyyyyy.

And she poked me.

I shook my head.

People were looking at us.

She said: Meet me by D wing, by the bushes, after we’re done.

Me:

I met Laurel out there.

At D wing.

We stopped working on the tree when Mr. Jeffries said: Okay, that’s it for today. Good job, you guys.

And then I got my backpack and when I looked up Laurel was gone.

I thought maybe she forgot about D wing because she left so fast, so I was just going to call my mom for a ride.

But then I thought I’d just see.

I went down B wing and outside into the quad.

D wing isn’t attached to the school.

It’s its own building. And it’s sort of called skater wing because that’s where the skaters hang out and everything.

But not two and a half hours after school.

And Laurel wasn’t there. No one was and the door was locked.

I guess she forgot and I was glad because I didn’t really want to talk to her.

At least not about what I think she wanted to talk about.

But then this: Hey . . .

She was whispering, but really loud, and it was coming from behind the bushes on the west side.

Again: Logan, hey . . .

Me: Is that you?

Laurel: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Come over here. We don’t want anyone to see us.

I went over to the general area and started to say: Where are you —

But she grabbed my arm and pulled me to this little area that was sort of like a cave behind the bushes — kind of like me and Zyler’s spot but not really.

Laurel: Shhhh. Don’t you know how to be quiet?

It was a strange question for a lot of reasons: #1. I’m always quiet and my dad says too quiet. I need to learn to speak up. And #2. What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to answer it?

Me:

Laurel: Sit down against the wall so no one will see us.

She shoved her brown hair behind her ears and she looked sort of freaky because her pirate makeup was all smeared. She had some on her hand so I think she accidentally messed it up.

And I probably knew why she didn’t want anyone to see us but it sort of made me feel sort of bad.

Laurel: What took you so long?

Me: Uhhhhhh.

Laurel: Shhh. We have to whisper.

Me: Why?

Laurel: So no one will know, duh. I said it like fifty times.

Me:

Laurel: Is something wrong with you?

Again I was confused.

Me: No.

Laurel: Then what’s your problem?

Me: Why do we have to hide? It’s two and a half hours after school.

Laurel: I’m not supposed to be talking to you. And you’re not supposed to be talking to me. Not any girls.

Me:

Laurel: I know, duh. I know all about everything, duh.

Me: What are you talking about?

Laurel: Your past.

Me: What?

Laurel: That’s why I want to talk to you. I don’t really believe those dorkfaceoffs but they said they’d be watching and they said you were on court restraint order probation and you weren’t supposed to be talking to girls and they were going to be watching both you and me because they think we’re friends. Because of the notes, you know. By the way, did you get what I meant with the last few notes? The carton and the wander afoot and the animals? It was code: Keep quiet and we’ll rendezvous and talk about getting those animals in a net.

Me:

Laurel: Like Bruce and all those guys are animals and we need to stop them.

Me:

I didn’t know what to say.

Laurel: And anyway, so do you have one?

Me: I don’t have a net.

Laurel: No. We’re not really going to get them in a net, duh. I just mean we need to get back at them. That’s what I meant.

Me:

Laurel: So? Is it true? Do you have one?

Me: What?

Laurel: A court restraint order probation or whatever.

Me: No.

Laurel: I didn’t think so but anyway, I just thought we should rendezvous and talk it out.

I had to think, but she just kept talking.

She talked about Bruce and Luke and Toby and she said: Did you know in elementary Bruce won the school art contest every time?

Me:

Laurel: He did and it was because his mom did it or hired someone to do it. You could tell. You could so tell. Once he turned in this painting that was all dots — Pointillism is what my mom said it was. The whole thing was a bunch of dots that made up this scene of a barn and a sunset.

She stopped and looked at me. I could tell she wanted a reaction.

Me: Really?

Laurel: Yeah! Can you believe it? And there was no way because in class all he ever drew were like these stupid tanks and stuff — plus, they didn’t even look real. My mom was going to complain because she’s on the school board and she thought it was unfair, but then she didn’t because there was this big issue with the funds and Mom was the spokesman for that and she had to defend her friend Peggy who was also on the school board but she’s not anymore. But Mom didn’t feel like she could get into the middle of anything right then, plus, it would look like she was doing it just because I got second prize with my drawing of an ostrich running really fast through a city like New York. It was symbolic. Did you know ostriches can run, like, forty or fifty miles an hour?