Three Thousand Miles (8 page)
Read Three Thousand Miles Online
Authors: Deila Longford
“You are crazy you know that?”
“I know I am, but it’s the way I feel and nothing will change that.”
“Do you know
that I am back with Michael?” T
he phone is silent and all I can hear
is
Adrian and his panting breath.
“I wasn’t aware of that, how
long has this been going on?” H
e says in a quizzing voice.
“A little while, you know how Michael felt about Alanna but I want you to unde
rstand that I am now with him. H
e is committed to me, if there is even a slight chance that you are staying away because of Michael then I want you to know that it is not an issue any more
.
Michael has moved on and he has accepted the fact that A
lanna loves you and
only you.” S
he says in a pleasing voice.
“Katharine, Michael will always love Alanna and no matter how hard you try to make him happy, she will be in his mind every day and every second
. H
e won’t move on from her
.
” I am little shocked at Adrian’s words, I feel he is being harsh with Katharine and he should not really be saying this to her.
“You are wrong, he has moved on, he wants you to be with her, stop being selfish and insecure and do the right and come back to Alanna,” Katharine says her nostrils are flared and hands are shaking.
“You only want me back, because you are the one who is insecure, you are scared that what I am saying is true and you fear that he will never love you.”
“Y
ou are totally wrong; I don’t think like that, Micha
el and I can be happy together.”
“P
ossibly, for a while
,
but you will never match up to Alanna in his eyes, the sooner you realise that the better
.
”
“H
ow dare you, you don’t know anything
.
”
“Y
es love
, I do.”
I look to Katharine and
I
make a signal for her to hang up. I do not like the way things are going and it is a little uncomfortable for me given what Adrian is saying.
“Adrian, I am going to hang up now, but please get in touch with Alanna, she misses you and she does need you.” The phone is silent as Katharine hangs up. She rushes over to the seat and I slide myself back into the bed. Katharine is annoy
ed and I can see that
she is very frustrated about the talk
that
she just had with Adrian. I do not really know how to approach things with her however, she is my friend and I need to try.
“Katharine
,
” I say but she jumps in first and I do not have any time to explain what I have to say before she tells me how it is.
“Michael does care for you
,
a lot
, but he and I are together now.
I trust him when he says how he feels about me and I hope that you can understand that and hopefully you can move on from him
.” W
hat is Katharine saying; does she think that I love Michael?
“I am not sure what you’re saying, why would you think that I need to move on from him?”
“I feel that you care f
or him more than you say you do. P
ossibly you like the fact that he would do anything for you and I feel that y
ou like the attention from him.”
Her words have struck me hard, I try to come back with a suitable response and be respectful of her; however, my heart has sunk at the sound of the thoughts she obviously has.
“I do like Michael but I love Adrian, it’s him I want to be with
.
”
“I
f that’s true, you won’t nee
d Michael in your life anymore.”
Katharine’s words are icy
and
I feel awkward around her.
“What are you saying?” S
he leans back
in the chair and folds her arms.
“I don’t think that you should see Michael anymore
.
” I gasp, is she really saying this?
“Why would you say that?”
“Adrian is correct in what he was saying, Michael won’t get over you, he needs space and you need to give it to him
.
”
“Katharine, I have known Michael longer than you, he is my
friend, he saved my life and
I won’t give him up.”
“How can I accept that you don’t love him
, when you say things like that?
I don’t understan
d the hold you have over him?” M
y face is hot and I feel flustered, my heart is racing
,
I cannot
think straight.
I wish
that
Katharine would just back down
as
I do not need this from her right now.
“We spent a lot of time together, we lived t
ogether,
did
he tell you that?” T
he look on her face suggests that he has not, her face is now like thunder and her eyes are raging.
“When did all this happen?”
“I le
ft college for a break, remember
?”
“Yes, but you were stressed and Sophie said
that
you checked into a hotel, what does that have to do with Michael?”
“It wasn’t a hotel, it was a c
ondo in
S
oho, and Michael was there too
.
”
“I don’t understand were you two
,
together?”
“It’s hard to explain, we weren’t together but we did share a house for a while
.
”
“Alanna, you are making no sense, tell me what happened?”
“Adrian owns the
c
ondo; I de
cided to stay there for a while.
Adrian is very protective and he would
not let me stay there by myself. S
o he asked Michael to watch over me while I was there.” Katharine stands, she looks very annoyed, and I wonder why Michael did not tell her he stayed with me? Is he ashamed? On the other hand, is he just protecting Katharine from the truth?
“Al
anna, did you sleep with him?”
Katharine’s words have shocked me, she knows that I do not do that, yet she has the nerve to ask me.
“No, never
,
you know
that
I don’t do that
!
”
“I am sorry, but you have to see my point of view, I love him and although he is with me, he will always love you.”
“It’s
not the ideal situation, but what can I do about it?”
“You cannot see him anymore, I won’t allow it
.
”
“Y
ou c
an’t really be asking me to do that?” I protest.
“It should not be a problem
if you love Adrian
, what use is Michael to you?” S
he says and her voice is harsh and sounds
very
informat
ive. I shake my head,
as I look at
her, why is she acting like this? Is she that insecure about her relationship that she feels
that
I need to stay away?
“Katharine, no
I won’t stay away from Michael. H
e has saved my life in so many ways, what kind of person would I be
,
if I just ignored him after all that he did
?
”
“I am asking you
,
as my friend
,
to please stay away from him.”
“No, I will always be your friend, but Mich
ael means too much to me and
I will not be without him
,
” I say firmly.
“If that’s how you feel then we are done here
.
”
“Katharine, don’t be like that
,
” she picks up her bag from the floor, walks over the door and looks back to me.
“Alanna, I gave you a cho
ice and you chose to betray me. I
t is not my fault that things have gone this way
.
”
“Y
ou can’t just walk away
.
”
“W
atch me,” she says as she opens the door and a second later, she is gone. I thro
w
myself down into the bed and cover my head with the sheet. My life is ruined, I have no Adrian, no Michael and now Katharine is
gone. My heart has collapsed at the thought of this. How I could
have lost so many people
,
that are important to me
,
is mind numbing and I am plagued by the thoughts of not having them in my life. I think
of
the words I heard from Adrian, he thinks I am better off without him, I cannot see how that could be possible. If anything I am worse without him, I need him to realise that, I possibly could if he would just talk to me. Ha
ve
Katharine’s words affected how he feels? Is th
ere a slight chance now that he knows
a
bout Michael and Katharine being back together, could that
bring back him to me? My mind spins and I feel a migraine coming on. I push the sheet from my face and sit fully up in the bed. I reach over to the sliding table and pull it towards me. I take two headache pills from the bottle that sits on the table. I sip a small glass of water as
I
swallow the pills. I reach out and lift up my white Blackberry, I scroll t
hrough my texts and emails,
however
,
ther
e are
none from Adrian. I take a deep breath and compose a text to him,
Adrian, this cannot go on any longer, I am going crazy without you. I wish that you would see sense and call me, I miss you and I need you, please Adrian I am begging
you
-
just one text is all
that
I am asking for.
I hit send and I do not get my hopes up for a reply. I look to see what time it is and I notice
that
its
gone three. Knowing that my mom will be here soon, I get out of bed and head into the bathroom. I walk over slow
ly
and painfully, although the pain is not quarter as bad
,
as it was before
,
but it does still hurt. I find the pain gets worse
,
the longer I stay in be
d. I wish that I were home and
now I just want things to back to
-
some kind of
-
normal. I know that
,
before I can leave this hospital
,
I have to show everyone that I am fine. I open the bathroom door and flick on the light. I catch my reflection in the mirror and I am appalled at what I see. My hair is thick mass of tangles, my face is even paler t
han before and my eyes seem as if
they
have
s
u
nk into my head. My lips are still full colour but they are dry and chapped and in desperate need of some lip balm. There is no way I would ever let my mom see me like this. She would definitely know
that
I was crying from the stains on my cheeks. I do not want her to think that I am unstable, I want out of this hospital and I need to give everyone the illusion that I am perfectly happy. I take out my hairbrush from the wash bag and start to run it through my tangled hair. I manage to ease the frizz and slick it back into a high top bun. I splash my face with cold water and apply some face wash. I scrub at my face until its gleaming; I rub in some glowing moisturiser and apply strawberry lip balm to my large red lips. I lean back and take long look at myself. When I feel that I look somewhat presentable, I switch off the light and make my way back over to the bed. I get half away across the room when I hear a knock at the door.
“Alanna
,
” I hear Dr James say. I turn around and he is standing in the doorway.
I smile at him.
“Yes, how I may help you?” H
e smiles and pushes the door further open.
“I just came to check on you, but you look fine, how are you feeling today?” I remember the thoughts I just had about the illusion of happiness.
“I am great,” I say beaming.
“You certainly look great,” he says very cheekily. He rushes up to me and escorts me back to the bed.
“You know, I can manage by self, the pain is not so bad now and I do feel great.” I slip into the bed and pull the sheet over me; Dr James s
tands very smugly.