Through The Eyes of A Hoodrat (5 page)

“Of course, why you ask that,” I
said

“Just wondering.” He paused. “I love
you too though. Dearly.” He said it with emphasis and almost
sadly.

“Go put some clothes on tho. We have
company coming in a few. Some important shit I need to handle,” he
said before smacking me on my ass.

***

My heart thumped loudly in my chest as
I called Tato’s phone repeatedly. He still wasn’t answering, so I
left a voicemail.

“Tato it’s Sierra. We have
to abort the mission. Dock is having company. Abort the fucking
mission.”

This nigga answered his phone any
other time but today. I knew he saw me calling. His greedy ass
probably didn’t want to cancel the plans. I was a firm believer in
doing shit right, and something in my gut told me that if Tato came
through that door anyway, shit was going to go terribly wrong. I
glanced at the clock. 8:45.

NINE

At 8:53 the doorbell rang. I didn’t
bother to get up since I knew it was Tato’s friend he was
expecting. I had tried to call Tato several more times but the
phone was now going straight to voicemail. I was scared shitless
and I wasn’t going to stick around and see how bad shit
got.

“Sierra!” Dock called from the living
room. Startled, I jumped up to go see what he wanted.

“Wassup?” I asked, walking into the
living room.

“Bae I want you to meet my cousin… Tim
from Philly.” My face turned white and I wanted to piss myself when
I saw Tato’s friend Tim standing in front of me with a scowl on his
face.

“How you doing Sierra?” he asked. I
couldn’t respond. I was in shock. I attempted to mutter hello but
no sound came out.

“What’s wrong bae? Cat got ya tongue?
You got something to tell me?” he asked with a stern look on his
face.

I looked over to Tim who was mean
mugging me and didn’t bother responding. I knew Tim had already
filled him in on what I did on my spare time.

“My cousin Tim here has filled me in
on your extracurricular activities. He seems to think that you go
around setting niggas up to be robbed…Is that why you here? To set
me up?” Dock asked. I could tell he was upset, but I didn’t know
him well enough to know what he would do.

“Answer the fucking question!” he
yelled, causing me to jump.

“Bae, I-I’m sorry. I have done that it
the past. I didn’t know how to tell you, but I swear that’s not why
I’m here…I love you,” I lied.

Tim rolled his eyes before speaking.
“Yeah, and you loved me too when you was spitting on my dick,” he
added to humiliate me. I wanted to sock him right in his rat ass
mouth.

“Bae don’t listen to him. Just let me
talk to you for a minute,” I said, attempting to grab Dock’s arm
and lead him to the bedroom to talk.

“Get the fuck off me hoe. Get ya shit,
and get out,” he spat, before walking off. I followed behind him in
tears. As I walked behind him, I heard the door open and what
sounded like firecrackers. Tato had arrived. I glanced at the
clock. It was nine on the dot.

***

The gunshots I heard resembled the
sound of firecrackers going off. As soon as I heard the sound, I
spun around and saw Tim’s body crumple to the floor. Blood leaked
from his head and soaked into the carpeted living room floor. I
covered my mouth to muffle my scream.

“Yo where the fuck the nigga at?” Tato
demanded. He wasn’t wearing a mask. I already knew what he planned
to do.

“Tato what the fuck! I told you to
abort!” I growled.

“Fuck that, Tim already peeped the
plot. I had to move forward. Our lives are at stake. Where’s the
nigga at?” he yelled.

I pointed around the corner to the
bedroom but Dock had already took off running when Tato barged in.
I didn’t see what happened next, all I saw was sparks from the gun
barrel and the popping sounds. Tears rolled down my face and I
covered my ears. Shit had gone wrong like I expected. Tato fucked
up.

As I was standing there crying like a
small child, Tato rushed out and grabbed my arm pulling me to the
door.

“Yo stop fucking crying and let’s go!
That pussy went out the fucking window.—I’ma kill that nigga if he
ain’t dying already. He fucking fired on me...I think I hit him
tho.” I didn’t bother responding. I knew shit was going to go wrong
from the jump. I had felt it in my gut.

We jumped in Tato’s late model Buick
Lesabre and he peeled off before I could even close my door. We
cautiously headed back to Philly.

“Tato, what the fuck cuz! Tell me what
the fuck is going on!” I screamed. He had pulled some shady shit
and I wanted to know what was going on immediately. I vowed to cut
Tato off completely after this.

“Man I used to hear Tim always talking
about his cousin Dock…How he getting money, and how he’s this and
that. I figured we could creep up on the nigga. I don’t fucking
discriminate on any nigga that’s getting paper…To make a long story
short, I sent you after the nigga and that stupid nigga Dock got
pussy whipped.”

“Why the fuck would you try to rob
Tim’s fucking cousin!” I knew the nigga was slime but damn. “And
how the fuck did Tim know that I was fucking with Dock?!” I asked,
losing my patience with my lying ass cousin.

“Man, he asked to use my phone earlier
because his shit had died. That pussy went through my messages
while he was supposed to be calling a bitch. He had been texting
her too and probably scrolled through my phone. He must’ve saw some
shit about his cousin….The nigga gave me my phone back and started
acting funny. I peeped it when he said he had to dip. I knew he was
coming straight to Delaware to run his mouth. The nigga Dock paper
long. He may not be a killer but he damn sure knows some. I had to
do what I had to do. For both of us.”

“You mean to tell me ya stupid ass
didn’t erase ya text messages?” I asked, before sighing deeply and
slumping back in my chair. I massaged my temples in an attempt to
collect myself.

“Yo Sierra, I fucked up. I’ma have to
kill that nigga. Trust me if that nigga ain’t dead he’s going to be
gunning for both of us. You need to get the fuck outta dodge
cuz.”

“Well how much money did you get from
the crib?” I asked.

“Money? I didn’t get any money. The
nigga was shooting and ya ass was crying. We didn’t have any time
to get any fucking money! I just caught a body and once the
neighbors heard the gunshots the police probably was there in
minutes,” he said.

I just stared out the window. Weeks
wasted. Everything we had done was for nothing because of Tato. I
wanted to kill him. It was only the second week of the month and
the S.S.I checks I received were gone from my shopping trip and
bills. I had no idea what to do. The child support for the twins
would be coming in a few days but that wasn’t enough to move with.
I had no money, and all my movement had been riding on robbing
Dock.

I sat in silence on the way back to
Philadelphia. I was angry at Tato and angry at myself because I
never asked questions or cut ties with him when I had the
opportunity. He was moral-less and would do anything for a buck. I
knew I was the pot calling the kettle black but had I known it was
Tim’s cousin, I would never had agreed to the caper. What we were
doing was foul enough.

I decided to stay with Ladaya and Tato
for the night since I didn’t feel comfortable staying by myself in
my condo. Even though Dock didn’t know where I lived, I was still
shaken up by the events from earlier. I left RJ sleeping in the
living room since Ladaya had been keeping him for me anyway. I
figured he would be better off at her house for the time
being.

TEN

The next morning I left and went home.
I was extra cautious since there was no telling what Dock knew. I
checked my mailbox and saw that I had a ton of mail. I would deal
with that a little later. For now I had to make some phone calls. I
needed money. I knew my mama wasn’t giving me a dime but I had two
other people in mind who might look out for me.

“Hey Avery,” I said, my voice still a
little shaken.

“Hey Sierra, I’m glad you called. I
need to talk to you about something,” he stated.

“Before you go into it, I need your
help. My electric is about to get cut off and they’re saying I need
$500 today. Can you help me out? Normally I would have the money
but I had to get some transmission work on my truck,” I lied
effortlessly.

“Sierra, cut the bullshit alright,”
Avery stated firmly, surprising me. He was usually
pleasant.

“You and I both fucking know your
electric isn’t about to get cut off because your ass has been
planning to move secretly without telling me,” he barked. “We have
two children together. What the fuck makes you think you can just
pick up and leave the state without notifying me! “ he
asked.

“The twins told you that?” I asked.
That’s why I didn’t want fucking girls to begin with. Bitches
always ran their mouth. It didn’t matter if they were little or
grown.

“Of course they told me. I ask them
questions Sierra. They’re seven and they’re not stupid! They were
worried about when they would see us again—“

“Who the fuck is us?” I asked knowing
who he was referring to.

He smacked his teeth. “Who else? Me
and Andrea…My wife…Their stepmother. You know she’s a part of their
life and always will be. As a matter of fact she takes damn good
care of them while they’re here!” he snidely added.

I was about to curse his ass out but
it wasn’t the time. I needed his help.

Avery continued. “I asked them why
would they worry about something like that and they said they were
moving to Virginia. When were you gonna tell me that?”

“Look Avery skip all that shit. I’m in
trouble. Something happened and I need to get away for a little
while until shit dies down,” I admitted.

“I can’t help you,” he stated after
pausing briefly. “What I can do is get the girls until things die
down.”

“You know what, fuck you Avery. I
don’t need you to get the girls. You’ll end up with them anyway
when they are fucking motherless cuz you didn’t want to help,” I
snapped.

“Maybe they’ll be better off,” he
stated.

“What the fuck did you say--,” I
yelled. However, he had hung up the phone.

I lowered my head on the kitchen table
where I was sitting. I was beyond frustrated. I knew once I got to
Virginia the checks I received would hold me over, however I needed
money now.

I picked up the phone and dialed
Todd’s number. I didn’t want to ask him for money either but I knew
he had it and would hand it over if I pulled his cards.

“Hey Todd, it’s Sierra,” I stated when
he picked up the phone.

“Wassup, and make it quick your mother
is here,” he quickly responded. I huffed in frustration.

“Look Todd, I need money. Like a
grand. Some shit happened and I need to get the fuck outta dodge
with the kids.”

“Sierra I’m not giving you $1,000. I
just gave you money for RJ’s bed and come to find out the other
nigga gave you money for it too,” he revealed.

“What the fuck does that have to do
with anything? I’m in trouble! And besides you are RJ’s biological
fuckin father,” I reminded him.

“Yeah me and everyone else you was
fucking,” he said, growing angry.

I had fucked my mother’s husband many
times, years ago. After my brother was killed I couldn’t stand her
ass and when she got married her “better than thou” ways was
getting under my skin. She had the audacity since she was the
reason Chris was dead. She fucked up money so bad she couldn’t even
afford to bury him properly. My brother had been cremated and she
took and spread his ashes at a creek he liked to swim in when he
was younger.

I knew Todd was a trick anyway because
I knew a few young hoes who had gotten money from him. One drunken
night when I stopped by and my mother wasn’t home he propositioned
me. That one night turned into us fucking on a regular basis. He
always paid. He paid extra to go in me raw and slipped up and got
me pregnant. At the time I was still with Rahdee and things were
going sour between us, so I told him it was his.

I had Rahdee and Todd taking care of
RJ, along with his S.S.I check as an incentive. I didn’t even
bother to seek child support because the arrangement worked out
just fine for me. My problem was that I spent money like it grew on
trees.

After a few more minutes of useless
begging, I hung up on Todd. I told him I definitely had something
for his ass since he wanted to play games.

***

I finally picked up the twins from
Avery later that evening. I didn’t say a word to him when I picked
them up. I just kept it moving. I didn’t have time for his
bullshit. I had bigger fish to fry. I planned to leave the kids at
my mother’s for the night and head out in the afternoon to Virginia
after I tied up some loose ends in the morning.

Since no one would lend me the cash I
needed, I used the day to drive to New Jersey and get a payday
loan. The $1500 I borrowed came with a hefty interest agreement but
it was just what I needed to get us to Virginia and stay in a motel
until my checks came and I could sign the lease to our new
apartment.