Thursday (Timeless Series #4) (17 page)

“I’ll always want to get back together with her,” Hawke said. “But I can’t. I have to keep moving forward. Maybe it’ll get easier with every passing day. Maybe one day I’ll stop thinking about her altogether…however unlikely that is.” He filled his glass again, almost pouring it until it reached the top.

Axel shared a look with me, clearly unsure what to do.

Whatever problems Hawke and Francesca had would never go away. It haunted both of them.

And I would give anything to know exactly what those problems were.

***

I had no interest in fooling around after seeing Hawke. My mojo completely disappeared after that conversation. My relationship with Axel wasn’t perfect but at least we understood each other.

I didn’t understand Hawke at all.

What could possibly be the reason for keeping the distance between them?

Axel parked in front of the house and killed the engine.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with him?”

Axel knew whom I was referring to because he’d been thinking about him himself the whole ride home. “Like what?”

“Like he has a disease or something. Maybe he can’t be with her because he knows something will happen to him…” It was a far reach but I didn’t have any better guesses. “Like Huntington’s disease.”

“Doubtful.”

“What else could it be?”

Axel shrugged. “I really don’t know. And I don’t think neither one of us will ever figure it out.”

If Francesca hadn’t told me by now then she probably never would. “You’re right.”

We walked into the house and noticed Francesca’s door was closed. She was probably asleep or hovering in her insanity. We went into my room and locked the door behind us.

It wasn’t difficult to sneak around Francesca, not when she was oblivious to everything around her. She could walk in on Axel and I screwing on the couch and it probably wouldn’t register.

She was that numb
.

Axel tossed his jacket on the back of my desk chair then unbuttoned his shirt. “I can’t believe we ran into Hawke tonight…”

“I can’t believe it either.” I slipped off my heels and immediately felt my feet relax in relief. I slipped off my dress and stood in my strapless bra and thong. My back was to Axel and I didn’t turn around as I undressed. He’d already seen me naked but it didn’t feel right letting him see me now. The moment just wasn’t right.

I pulled on a nightshirt then turned around and faced the bed.

He stood in his boxers, the definition obvious in the material. He gave me a heated look but nothing more. Then he pulled the covers back and got into bed. “Your bed is comfy.”

“Thanks.” I got in beside him then set an alarm.

He groaned. “What are you setting an alarm for?”

“Well, you have to leave then come back.”

“Why?”

“Because Francesca will know you slept here.”

“Whatever,” he said with a sigh. “I don’t even care anymore.”

“Well, I do. I want to tell her, but in a better way.”

He didn’t make any further argument.

I pulled the sheets to my shoulder and cuddled into his side. The second I felt his body, every stress I had ebbed away. Being with him, even in silence, was soothing. There was nothing else I’d rather do than lay together, wrapped in the warmth of each other’s arms.

Axel’s arm moved around my shoulders and his hand rested in my hair. He felt the strands softly, running them through his fingers. He watched me with lidded eyes, taking in my features. He didn’t lean into kiss me or give any indication that’s what he wanted. In that moment, all he wanted was to look at me.

My hand glided across his hard chest and stopped when it reached the skin over his heart. I felt his heartbeat, slow and steady. It was relaxed, at peace. My fingers naturally traced the area, worshipping the organ that made him so beautiful. Times like this made me realize conversation wasn’t necessary. As long as we were in each other’s presence we didn’t need anything else. These quiet moments, when nothing exciting seemed to happen, were the most exciting moments of all.

Day Of Hell

Marie

My arm was better and I had full range of motion. My old slings were shoved into the back of one of my drawers and my life had returned to normal. I had a whole prescription of vicodin left over that I had no use for but I couldn’t toss it. Instead, I shoved it into the medicine cabinet in the spare bathroom just in case I might need it someday. There probably wouldn’t be any complications with my shoulder, but it was always smart to be prepared.

Axel showered and changed in my bathroom before he visited the rest of the house, giving the impression he just came over after staying at his place. Francesca hadn’t noticed anything. And if she did, she didn’t care enough to say something about it.

Axel opened the fridge and eyed everything inside. “Should I even bother making breakfast…?”

Francesca came out of her shell slightly but she was still a mess. She still had no appetite or motivation to do anything. Hawke seemed devastated but he was still up and about. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t do the same. “Just make her some eggs.”

“Then I have to get the pan out, buffer it, wash it…it’s a lot of work if she’s not going to eat.” He shut the door but still stayed in the same place, arguing with himself quietly.

“Then I’ll make it.” I felt like the good cop of this situation.

“I don’t mind. I just don’t want to waste my time.” He was particularly irritable this morning. Last night we lay in bed together and stared into each other’s eyes until we fell asleep. Neither one of us seemed interested in getting physical. Just being together was enough. Come to think of it, we hadn’t even tried making love—yet.

“Let me take care of it.” I guided him out of the way then scrambled the eggs before I poured them into the pan. Axel had a bad habit of screaming at Francesca and I wanted to stop that from happening. It didn’t make Axel feel better ,and I knew it didn’t help Francesca either.

I cooked the eggs then set them on a plate at the table. “I’ll get her.”

Axel stood at the counter and poured a mug of coffee.

I knocked before I stepped into her bedroom. “Come on, Frankie. Time to wake up.”

She faced the opposite wall. “For what?”

“I made scrambled eggs with a pinch of pepper—just the way you like them.”

“No, thank you.” She pulled the sheets tighter around her.

If she didn’t eat now she wouldn’t eat all day. “You need to eat something.”

“Put it in the fridge. Maybe I’ll eat them later.”

She was way too skinny at this point. Her muscle composition had waned and she hardly had any fat on her. It was getting to the point where I was scared for her health. “You better eat them later.” I shut the door then walked back into the kitchen. I had a full schedule today, both work and school. I needed to get a move on it.

Axel looked beyond mad. “Is she coming?”

I wanted to cover for my friend but I didn’t see how. “Her stomach is acting up…”

He narrowed his eyes.

“Must be the bug or something.”

He must have known I was lying because he marched off.

Oh no.

I heard her bedroom door burst open. “Your friend makes you breakfast and you aren’t going to eat it?”

Francesca and Axel bickered from time-to-time but they never had really big fights like this. It was impossible to make Axel mad, but with his sister he had a short fuse.

“I didn’t ask her to.” Francesca’s voice was barely audible.

“You didn’t ask her to take care of your schoolwork or your bills but she’s doing that too. Not once have you thanked her or showed her any type of appreciation. You just lay around like a disgusting pig.”

I sat at the kitchen table and prayed he would finish.

“I’m paying your rent and your car payment but I haven’t gotten a thank you for that either. Frankie, it’s been two months. Hawke is out screwing around and getting laid while you’re moping around like a sorry excuse for a person. He’s not coming back and you need to get over it. Get off your ass and grow a goddamn backbone.”

Please be finished.

“I had to put up with Dad and all of his bullshit, and now I have to put up with you. I’m tired of getting the short stick all the time.  You’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself but you choose not to. You’re a selfish bitch that I can’t stand anymore. I hate looking at you, I hate talking to you, and I hate everything about you.” He slammed the door loudly behind him and stormed out the front door.

I didn’t chase after him because he was too upset to see reason. And I didn’t talk to Francesca either, unsure if she cared about anything he said. I grabbed my purse and prepared to walk through the front door when I heard Francesca crying from her bedroom.

Not once had I heard her cry.

I stood there and listened to it, feeling my heart break at the sound. My first instinct was to comfort her but I couldn’t get myself to do it. Maybe Axel finally got through to her, made her realize she needed to get out of bed and carry on.

Maybe things would get better.

***

It was dead slow that night.

No one was stopping by because they were more interested in the new cupcake joint across the street. I couldn’t blame them. I’d take a cupcake over coffee any day.

My manager sent me home even though I had two hours left on my shift. It was nice to head home early, but I knew I would feel worse when I got my small check in two weeks. If Axel weren’t helping me I’d drown.

When I pulled up to the house Axel’s car wasn’t there. I suspected he would stay at his apartment tonight because he was still pissed at Francesca. It was best if they both steered clear of each other, at least for a few days. Axel didn’t mean anything he said but the words were still hurtful.

I walked in the house and noticed all the lights were off. She obviously hadn’t left her bedroom once that day. I tossed my purse on the kitchen table then flicked on all the lights. “Frankie?” I called down the hallway to see if she was all right.

No response.

“Frankie?” I walked down the hall and stopped when I noticed an arm laying across the floor. The rest of the body was on the bathroom floor hidden from view.

What the fuck?

“Frankie?” I ran to the bathroom and spotted her lying on the ground, her eyes closed and her breathing non-existent. She must have grown so weak that she tripped and fell.

I kneeled and held her head in my hands. “Frankie, wake up.” I checked for blood but didn’t spot even a drop. When I felt the pulse of her neck I realized it was dangerously weak.

What happened here?

“Frankie?” I shook her violently, needing her to wake up.

That’s when I spotted the bottle in her hands. The prescription label displayed my name and birthdate. Vicodin was written on the side.

And it was empty.

Shit.

I pulled out my cell phone and stared at it blankly. “Shit, what’s the number to 9-1-1?” My hand shook as I tried to figure it out. Then it came to me in an instant. “Fuck.” I made the call and listened to the operator come on the line.

“9-1-1. What’s your emergency?”

“My friend needs help.”

***

When I got to the hospital I wasn’t allowed to see her. I wasn’t even sure what the doctors were doing. I followed the ambulance in my car and didn’t arrive until minutes afterward. By the time I got there, they already rushed her off.

This was the worst day of my life.

I paced in the lobby and gripped my phone in my hand. Every time I walked past the nurses’ station I eyed the one in charge and hoped she would say something to me, giving me some kind of news.

My phone lit up when Axel called me.

“Hey,” he said into the phone. “You got Francesca out of the house?”

I didn’t even think of calling him. I just got to the hospital and I was panicking. It slipped my mind. “Francesca swallowed my whole bottle of painkillers and now I’m at the emergency room waiting for news. I don’t know if she’s going to be okay. I don’t even know where she is.” My voice broke and the tears fell in waves.

“Oh my god…”

“I’m at the hospital.”

“Is she going to be okay?”

“I don’t know…” I kept pacing in the waiting room, aware of the people staring at me. I could feel their looks but I didn’t care.

“Fuck. I’ll be right there.” He hung up.

I kept the phone to my ear because I was so numb. I continued to pace the waiting room, unable to sit still for even a moment.

***

Axel ran to me when he saw me. “Have you heard anything?”

“No.” My eyes were still wet from the tears that would fall at any second.

Axel’s face was paler than milk. Even his lips were white. He didn’t just look scared—he looked terrified. “How did this happen…?”

“My shift ended early so I came home…and found her like that. She was laying on the bathroom floor with the empty bottle in her hand.”

“How many pills were in there?”

“At least thirty…”

“Jesus Christ.” He gripped his skull like it might explode.

“My manager let me go early because it was slow…but what if he hadn’t. What if I got home when I was supposed to and she was already dead?”

He stared at the ground.

“Axel, I’m scared.”

“Did you talk to her today?”

“No…not since this morning.” I heard her crying just before I left but I didn’t walk in there. I should have said something to her, consoled her.

Axel froze when the realization washed over him. He was thinking the same thing I was thinking. “It’s because of what I said. It’s because of me.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and held onto myself tightly, trying not to shake uncontrollably. I wanted to tell him that wasn’t the truth, that he couldn’t be more wrong. She did this for another reason, one neither of us contributed to. But in my heart, I knew that wasn’t true.

Axel collapsed into the nearby chair and leaned forward, devastated by the realization.

I sunk into the chair beside him, barely able to breathe. All I could hear were nurses traveling back and forth down the hallway. Phones rang at the desks, and the rest of the visitors in the lobby talked quietly to themselves. While I was surrounded by so many people I felt completely alone.

Alone.

***

Finally, we got some news.

“Is she okay?” Axel jumped to his feet and got into the nurse’s face.

“What’s going on?” I was right by his side, just as eager.

“Please tell me she’s okay.” Axel was just as devastated as I was, probably more so.

The nurse raised both of her hands to silence us. “The doctor is pumping her stomach now. We won’t know anything for a while.”

“Pumping her stomach?” I asked.

“What does that mean?” Axel asked.

“Hopefully, we’re quick enough to remove the toxins before they reach her liver. If not, she could have organ failure. It’s unclear when she took the pills so we can’t be sure until the procedure is done.”

“When will that be?” I asked.

“At least another hour.”

I couldn’t believe this was happening. Francesca was getting her insides pumped out because she tried to overdose. Why did I leave those pills lying around? Why didn’t I realize her depression was more serious? I should have intervened. I should have done something. “Please keep us posted…”

“You know I will.” She gave both of us a look of sympathy before she returned to the hallway.

Axel and I stood there, both shaken up.

“If she dies…” He shook his head, his eyes coating with tears. “I can’t…”

The pain on his face made my heart break. I could feel his guilt seep through my skin. All of his regrets wrapped around me, suffocating me. I grabbed him and gripped him tightly, holding him fiercely. “She’ll be okay, Axel.”

He buried his face into my neck and breathed deeply. A few drops fell onto my neck and dissolved onto the skin. Without tasting them I could sense the salt. His pain hurt more than my own simply because his happiness meant the world to me.

I closed my eyes and tried to clear my thoughts. If I thought about it too much I would break down again. Right now, I needed to be there for Axel. He already lost his mother and his father.

And now he might lose his sister.

After more than an hour of waiting I asked the question I didn’t want to ask. “Should we call him?”

Axel held my hand in his, his eyes on the carpet. “No.”

“Are you sure…?” I would never understand why he left, but I believed he really loved her.

“He’s not in her life anymore.” His voice lacked any emotion. Currently, he was numb.

“Okay.” I didn’t want to press the argument, not right now. “Then I need to call Yaya.”

“Let’s wait and see what the doctor says. Then we’ll know what kind of phone call we’re about to make.”