Tight Knit (22 page)

 “Why do you do that, Lachlan? Why do you act like you’re the only person in the world who has ever felt pain? Why do you always think you are the only one who can help you?” 

That’s not true. But I don’t tell her that. What I say is entirely the wrong stupid thing to say.

“You think because you’re going to stand up to one old woman that you can solve my problems?” 

I shouldn’t have said that. Her expression of disappointment confirms that I shouldn’t have said that.

“Call me later so I know you’re okay.” Then she turns and walks away. 

I am such a fucking moron. Why did I say that? 

I watch her until she disappears into the wool shop then pull out my phone. 

It’s a new address. One I’ve never run to before. This doesn’t feel right. 

Of course it doesn’t. The dealer doesn’t meet with a runner if it’s not important. Dangerous. 

I see her through the big storefront window. Hugging Gram. My heart skips. I should listen to her. I should run after her and say sorry for the millionth time. I should help her plan her ridiculous coup of the Charity Drive. But the dealer said he’d go after her. I don’t think he would. I am pretty sure it was just a threat to make sure I do this drop, but I would rather her be pissed at me than in danger. Any day. 

I get into Grams car and drive away.

~

The ride is silent, just the rumble of the engine as I drive to the drop. I park quite far away and as I walk in broad daylight to the drop site I wonder why this isn’t happening at night. Most runs happen at night, and this one feels off. Especially because of the size of the bag and the shady-ness of the house I’m standing in front of. It’s ten times creepier than Garret’s.

The thought makes my stomach tighten and my steps get slower and the crunching of the snow under my feet gets louder. I should just turn and walk away. Talia’s right, what are they going to do? They wouldn’t kill me. I laugh. This isn’t a fucking movie. It’s not like they’re a gang. I still can’t shake the thought that something is off when I approach the door. It’s open, just a little, and I try to peer inside. It’s dark. And quiet. 

Too quiet. 

My heart starts up, burning blood at such a speed it makes me dizzy. This dread feels familiar and I stand silently in front of the door trying to place it. I’ve been here before. Standing on the other side, kicking myself for not making the right choice. Here I am again, but this time I’m not 15. This time I’m not just some misguided kid. I should  known better.

Fuck. 

Pushing the door open with my foot, I drop the duffel on the ground and put my hands in the air before the cop with the gun pointed in my face has a chance to say anything.

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

Talia

 “I’m not sure that’s such a great idea, dear,” Georgina says. I clench my fist in my lap. I knew she wouldn’t like this plan for revolution I have blazing through my mind, and true I really haven’t given it enough thought yet but I’m excited. I want to
do
something. The Charity Drive isn’t about appearances or reputations. It’s about helping people. 

“But, Georgina, she thinks she can wear her thousand dollar business suit and give a few bucks to the homeless. That’s helping them? It’s garbage and you know it. They don’t even give
all
the money to the shelter.” My voice is raised to a level that annoys even me. 

“The Drive has costs, too, you know. They do the best they can.” 

I snort. 

“Nan told me they pay her. That’s she’s not even doing it on volunteer. She’s some sort of party planner and they pay her to organize.” 

Georgina leans back in her chair and rubs her shoulder. 

“You okay?” 

“Oh I’m fine dear, just stiff today. Well if you want to stick it to the man, that’s great Talia, but I will sit this one out. I’m too old for this.” 

She smiles, but it only moves half of her mouth. I glance over my shoulder to the door. Lachlan should be here by now. I’m worried about him but I can’t say anything to Georgina. 

“Do you want me to give you a ride home? I’m not sure Lachlan’s coming.” 

I look back to her and she’s looking at me but her eyes are empty. She isn’t focusing. 

“I’m telling you, Nancy.” Georgina’s voice is angry. “I’m telling you now to get out. For the boy. You must protect him no matter what.” 

I slide back in my chair and gape at her.

“Georgina?” I reach out my hand and she doesn't move. The side of her mouth is drooping and she still won’t focus. I shake her hand and it falls off her knee. 

Something’s wrong. Very wrong.

I move my head frantically, but everyone has gone. The meeting’s over and everyone’s gone. 

I fumble for my cell phone in my huge bag but can’t find it under the yarn. Georgina speaks again but this time it doesn’t make sense. The sounds she makes aren’t even words but she is looking at me now. 

My hands shake violently and thoughts start swirling around my mind. 

Don’t panic. Don’t panic. 

I scan the shop again, as if someone would have magically appeared because I need help. 

“Georgina?” I reach out to her just as a bubble of air bursts from her lungs. The sound freezes me right through every nerve and blood vessel. A vision of Janna flashes through my mind as she convulsed and foamed on the floor at the Halloween party. 

I grab Georgina’s shoulders and shake her. I yell her name but her face has lost all control, she’s shaking and drooling and making this noise that rocks me back into focus. 

I turn and run across the store. I jump over the counter, sending jewelry displays clattering to the ground. I run my shaking hands along shelf under the counter. 

There’s a phone here. Where is it? The phone, the phone, the… My fingers touch the cold plastic, and I rip it out of the holder. I stab out 911 and run around the counter back to Georgina. 

Her eyes are wide open but not focused on anything. 

I cry out at the phone just as someone answers.

“911 what’s your emergency,” the male voice says. 

I’m stunned silent for a moment because I don’t know what my emergency is. I don’t know what’s wrong. 

“Are you still there?” the voice sounds again, and I take a huge gulp of air.

“She’s, she’s not responding.” I say with a shaky voice. 

“Not responding to what, miss?” 

“Anything. Her eyes are open. She isn’t focusing. She was fine. We were talking then she just started mumbling nonsense. She was fine two minutes ago.”

The operator’s silent for a second.

“Please tell me your location, miss. I have an ambulance on the way.”

I nod, not thinking that he can’t see me.

“You’re location, miss.” 

“Um, the Wool Shop on 13
^th
Ave. What can I do? How can I help her?” 

I reach out to touch her, but pull my hand back.

“Is she breathing?” 

“I don’t know. I can’t tell.” 

“Put your hand over her mouth. Can you feel air from her mouth or nose?” 

I’m shaking so bad I don’t think I can hold the phone with one hand but I do. I put my hand by her mouth and a sob catches in my throat.

“Oh my god, oh my god. No I can’t feel it. She’s not breathing.” 

“Do you know CPR, miss?” 

“No!” I’m crying now. I pace in front of the chair and cry. The sight of Georgina crushes my heart further and further into my chest with every beat. 

She’s dying, and I can’t help her. She’s dying, and I can only watch. 

“I can walk you through it, Miss. You think you can do it?” 

My head swims, the panic is in the back of my mind, but like when Janna was overdosing I feel of wave of clarity pass through me. I’m aware of everything down to every single individual sweat bead that has formed on my forehead. 

I nod, and then remember he can’t see me.

“Yes, yes I can do it.” 

CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

Lachlan

I’m sitting in the dirt outside of a rundown shit-hole in the worst area of town, and I’ve run my hand through my hair so many times I have snow on my face and dirt in my mouth. My body shakes and I can’t stand yet. I’m still in utter shock of how a gun pointed in my face ends up with me, uncuffed, sitting in the snow, totally free. 

I know how it happened, but I’m shocked. When I stop being shocked I know I’m going to be pissed. Those fucking assholes set me up. They set me up, to set up the cops and now everyone is busted. The duffel was full of nothing. Plastic bags inside plastic bags then taped together to look like bricks of pot. They knew I wouldn’t look in the bag. 

I’m not going to be as mad as that cop was when he found out I was just a runner. You can’t arrest a guy for having a bag full of bags. 

Hence why I’m sitting in the dirt,
not
arrested. I flop back into the crunchy snow, unconcerned that my ass is freezing. My ass is free. That’s all that matters. 

I don’t know how long I lay there watching my breath freeze with every exhale. 

My cell phone buzzes and my heart seizes. I pull it from my pocket but it’s not from them. It’s from Talia.

Meet me at the hospital now

Her words do nothing to ease the tension in my body. I sit up and read the message again. I think of her Nan and jump to my feet. 

If something happened and I wasn’t there…. The last words I said to her play in my head. I’m such a selfish asshole. 

My near miss with the cops is pushed from my head as I run to the car. I am free now and I’m not going to fail her again. 

~

I don’t remember getting to hospital, or parking, or flying through the door. I don’t have my first rational thought until I’m in the hallway and I see her. 

Talia stands just outside her Nan’s room and I can see her body shake from here. Her eyes are puffy and tears are flowing down her face faster and harder than I’ve ever seen before. 

I hurt for her to see how much pain she’s in, and I start to walk toward her. Halfway to her, she takes a step backward and a loud sob escapes her lips. I stop, and so does my heart. My eyes flicker toward the door of her Nan’s room and she shakes her head. 

Her one arm is pressed to her side and she’s chewing on the index finger of the other. Her eyes are glazed and the sadness in them squeezes my guts to mush. I start toward her and she sobs again taking another step back. 

Why is she doing this? The last time she got bad news about her Nan she came barreling at me with the force of an entire army.  

Unless. 

Behind the sadness that radiates from her there’s something else. Something that makes her retreat from me. 

Unless it’s not her Nan. 

As if an icicle were plunged into my chest, a coldness slowly spreads through my body and I take a step back this time. 

“I tried, Lachlan,” Talia sobs. 

No. The cold turns to numbness. My fingers curl into fists, but I can’t feel them. 

No. It can’t be Gram. 

“I did everything I could.” I can barely understand her. I can barely hear her. 

Her voice echoes through my brain muffled by my ears, which are trying to shut her out. 

Gram
.

I feel hands on my face, but just the pressure. I know they’re Talia’s, but I can’t feel the warmth. I can’t feel the familiar tingle of when she touches me. 

Like someone had snapped their fingers, I spring out of my hypnosis and wrap my hand around Talia’s wrist.

“Where is she?” 

“Lachlan, I—“

“Where is she?” 

Talia looks down. “ICU,” she whispers. “They have her on life support. I tried, really I did. But the damage…” She’s crying again. 

The foundation of my soul actually cracks. I hear and feel it push through me with such force I can’t breathe. 

I pull her close and press my lips to hers. I savor how soft she feels, the almond and vanilla smell of her hair, how she tastes like tears and toothpaste. 

Then I pull away, leaving her standing stunned in the hallway. 

I barely take three steps when she calls my name. I stop but I don’t turn around. I can’t. If I look at her I might not have the strength to leave. 

“Leaving me isn’t going to make her wake up, Lachlan.” Talia’s voice is just a whisper, but her words have enough power to break through the last of my soul, splitting it completely in two.

There’s a gurgle that comes from my mouth as the crack moves through me, tearing me open. I think I’m going to throw up. 

But I don’t. Instead the crack finally hits the back of my eyes. They fill. 

Gram.

The only person who was ever there for me. I wasn’t there for her. 

The same gurgle as before forms in my throat but this time louder. I sink to my knees and Talia is instantly at my side, wrapping her arms around me. 

I sink into her and she holds me up.  

I cry. No. I more than cry. I relive it. I relive every good thing Gram ever did for me and how I repaid her by lying, by sneaking around, by getting arrested again. 

My shoulders are heaving and Talia is stroking my hair. She’s rubbing my back. I spin to wrap my arms around her and like I did for her on the night she found out about her Nan’s cancer, she pulls me into her chest and holds me as tight as she can. She presses her lips to my ear and hums. Her voice is beautiful, just like Grams. She runs her hand through my hair and rocks back and forth. She sings the song over and over until I stop. Until I have nothing left. Until I am empty. 

CHAPTER THIRTY THREE

Talia

Lachlan’s sleeping on my couch. He’s exhausted, even in sleep. It shows all over his features. 

I feel like I could sleep standing up but I just watch him. I’m still rubbing his back with one hand and holding my cell in the other. 

I’m on my way. I’ll bring food. You need anything else?

Janna texts and I reply that we’re good.