Together We Heal (2 page)

I SERIOUSLY HATED
my job, but when you needed money, you took what you could get. My life would be so much easier if my parents weren’t total assholes who refused to pay for college.

My dad was a HVAC specialist and wanted me to be part of the family business. Nothing else would do. Well, too bad, Dad. I’m not going to spend my life miserable and installing air conditioners. Seriously, fuck that.

So here I was, working multiple jobs, barely able to get by, hardly ever getting to see my girlfriend.

Thinking about Trish made me smile. So many people bought her prickly façade, but I’d seen what was under that, and … hell, it was beautiful. I was damn lucky I got to see it.

I was well into my shift when I got a text message from Trish. Another perk of this job was the fact that as long as I swiped cards and replenished towels, I could do whatever the hell I wanted to.

I’m freaking the fuck out and I need to talk to someone.

Uh oh. Code Red. I found one of my coworkers and told her I had an emergency and needed to make a phone call. She was fine with covering for me, so I rushed outside into the cold. It was barely March and winter was still holding onto the state of Maine with her icy fingertips.

“Hello? Trish?” I said, panicking as I held the phone to my ear. I wasn’t wearing my coat and I was already freezing. But this was more important.

“Sooo, it looks like I’m going to be an aunt.”

I almost asked her to repeat herself.

“You’re going to be an aunt?” I said.

“Yeah. My brother knocked his girlfriend up.” She didn’t sound happy or upset. Just shocked.

“Wow. Holy shit.”

“Yeah. Exactly. I’m freaking the fuck out here, Max. I just… I don’t even know what the fuck to do.” It was no secret that Trish had a complicated and dark past and I always kept that in mind when she seemed to freak out about something most people wouldn’t.

“Talk to me,” I said. Usually getting her to open up was worse than trying to break into a bank vault, but it didn’t stop me from trying.

“I don’t even know,” she said and I could tell she was smoking and pacing.

“Do you need me to come over?” It would mean leaving work, but I was a good employee, so this one time it wouldn’t matter.

“No, no. I’m fine. Everyone’s here. They’re all singing songs with the word ‘baby’ in them.” I could just barely hear the sound of singing in the background.

“How’s your brother doing?” She snorted.

“I think he’s still in shock.” No doubt. I couldn’t imagine. “Listen, I’m fine. I don’t know why I texted you. I’ll see you in a few hours when I pick you up.” She hung up before I could protest. I thought about calling her back, but she probably wouldn’t pick up.

I went back to the desk and relieved Annie.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“Guess so.”

“Are you sure?” She put her hand on my shoulder and I wanted to shake it off. She was nice and all, but she wasn’t Trish and Trish was the only girl I wanted.

“Yeah, it’s all good.” I gave her a thumbs up and then went back to my homework. Or at least I tried to. My mind was wandering, thinking about Trish and hoping she was okay.

FUCKING. PREGNANT. MY
brother got his girlfriend pregnant. After all the times he’d lectured me about safe sex and condoms and the pill and shown me graphic pictures of STDs and all that bullshit and he couldn’t even follow his own advice.

He seemed happy on the outside, smiling and laughing as everyone congratulated him. But I knew better. He was freaking the fuck out. Just like me.

Katie was doing better at hiding her own fear and was laughing as everyone suggested names. Guess they were keeping it.

I texted Max when I was outside having a smoke and I should have known he’d call me. I felt guilty for panicking at him, so I hung up before he could offer, again, to come over.

I went back inside and found Lottie, Zan, Simon, Brady, Will, Audrey and Eddie had arrived. It was a full fucking house and so loud I was sure someone was going to call the cops on us. We’d be screwed since there was a lot of underage alcohol consumption happening.

They were all clustered around Katie, who was accepting congratulations. Stryker was deep in conversation with Zan, and I walked over to them.

“I have no idea how this is going to work, but I’m going to make it fucking work,” Stryker said, running his hand through his hair. I bleached it blonde for him every few weeks and his roots were showing. That probably wasn’t tops on his list of priorities right now.

“How?” I asked, crossing my arms. He turned to face me.

“I don’t know, Trish. But I will. This is my responsibility and we’re going to do this together. It was going to happen at some point, it’s just happening a bit sooner than we planned.” Yeah, right. I knew my brother and I knew he didn’t want kids for at least five years from now. More like ten.

“Well, you’d better. I’m not going to stand by and watch as you abandon your kid,” I said. The words came out harsher than I intended, but whatever.

Zan just stood there and watched us with his dark eyes. He was tall and mostly silent and my brother’s best friend. I hadn’t been his biggest fan, but that was all resolved when we found out he hadn’t caused the car accident that had landed Lottie’s best friend in the hospital with a permanent brain injury. He’d been covering for his brother and that was something I could understand. You made sacrifices for family.

“This just fucking happened, Trish. I haven’t had a chance to even start thinking about how this is going to work, so lay off. I don’t need your judgment right now.” He stormed away from me. Stryker and I yelled at each other a lot, but most of the time we argued about stupid shit, like which movie to watch, or if I could drive his car.

He was mad. Really mad. I was going to have to do a lot of groveling to make up for my mouth. Why did I always let the words in my head come out? I seriously had no filter. Most of the time it worked for me, but not when it hurt Stryker. I would have been nowhere without him. Without Stryker, I would be dead. I knew that for a fact.

Katie followed him and I went to get a glass of water or a beer or something. I needed something to do.

“What was that?” Lottie asked, creeping up behind me. She was small and sneaky.

“Me being me,” I said, opening the fridge and looking in, but seeing nothing.

“It’s pretty crazy, right?” she said. “I can’t even imagine.” She shuddered. “I feel like I want to go out and buy a bunch of condoms just in case.”

“Yeah, I know, right?” I said, because she didn’t know Max and I weren’t having sex. I’d lied to her and said it was great and we were doing it all the time. Couldn’t keep our hands off each other. In public we touched a lot, so I made it seem like we were totally physical.

Max and I had never had sex and that was one of the reasons our relationship was doomed for failure. Any day now, he was going to wake up and realize what he was missing and go find it somewhere else.

I stayed in the kitchen, away from the hubbub. I was just waiting for the time when I could leave and go pick Max up.

“To Pinky and her embryo!” Allan said, and that caused a lot of rounds of toasting to Katie and Stryker and their unborn spawn. It made me angry, but it also made me something else.

Jealous. I shoved both feelings aside and went out to the car. I was going to be early to get Max, but at least I was getting out of there.

SHE WAS EARLY
and she was twitching all over the place. Her violet-tinted eyes (courtesy of contacts) darted here and there and wouldn’t settle on anything. She came behind the desk with me to wait for my shift to end, but she was so distracted, I almost asked her if she’d like to go take a walk on the track or something.

“You sure you’re okay?” I asked as she chewed on her nails. They were covered in chipped black polish.

“Yup. Fine and dandy,” she said, examining her nails.

At last it was time for me to clock out. I usually ditched the stupid polo shirt I had to wear to work here, but Trish needed me more than I needed to change.

“Ready to go?” I asked as I gathered my stuff. She hopped off the stool she’d been sitting on and followed me out to the parking lot where the car was still running. It was cold at night so she couldn’t turn the car off or else it might not start up again and then we would have been stranded for a while.

“Your place or mine?” I asked. We switched off nights staying in her dorm room and mine. I had a roommate for a while, but he left and they hadn’t assigned me a new one yet. Trish had a roommate, but she was gone a lot, so we had options either way.

“Yours, I guess,” she said. Her twitchiness had turned into stillness and silence. Trish’s moods were hard to follow, but I was learning.

She pulled into the parking lot next to my dorm and turned the car off. Hopefully she’d be able to get it started tomorrow.

Trish kept up the silent act as we walked into my room, she dumped her stuff and sat on her bed.

We didn’t sleep together. She used my former roommate’s mattress and I slept on mine. When we stayed at her place, I slept on a pile of blankets on the floor. It was comfortable enough.

She turned on the television and flipped through the channels. I moved around the room, picking up and putting things away.

“You want some coffee?” She shook her head, but I decided to make some anyway. I pulled the illegal coffeepot out from under my bed and plugged it in.

Trish sat on her bed, chewing her lip and staring off into space. This was one of those times when I had to decide whether asking her to talk to me would be a good idea or a bad idea. You never knew with Trish.

“Trish?” I said, sitting down next to her and putting my arm around her. She was fine with me touching her in public, but she could get weird about it when we were alone.

She flinched a little but didn’t shift away. Finally she turned to look at me.

“What?” she snapped.

“You seem really upset and I want to talk to you about it,” I said in a slow voice.

“I’m not upset,” she said in a tone that didn’t convince me. “I’m just tired. I’m so tired.” She softened and leaned on my shoulder.

“I know, hun,” I said, stroking her shoulder. Sighing, she put her arms around my waist.

“Why do you bother with me, Max?” she said in a low voice.

“Because you’re one of a kind, Trishella Grant,” I said. Using her full name earned me a pinch on my side.

“Don’t make me regret that I told you my real name,” she said, looking up at me. Her eyes were wide and vulnerable. It was rare to see her like this and I wanted to hold onto this moment. I stroked her cheek with my other hand and placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Your secret is safe with me, sweets.”

I WAS A
bitch. A cold, heartless bitch. It was a miracle I even had friends. Or a boyfriend. How it happened, I didn’t know.

Max and I slept in our separate beds like a married couple from a 1950s television show. I’d never slept with Max, and not even in the resting sense. It was too intense. More intense even than sex. I’d had sex in my life, but I didn’t have a good relationship with it. Not at all.

He never complained. When I first told him that there were lines I didn’t want to cross in our relationship, he agreed. No questions asked. No telling me that I was crazy and he wasn’t going to do that. Nope, he hopped right onboard my crazy train and he’d been riding it ever since.

I needed to call Stryker and apologize, but when I got up on Friday morning, the last thing I wanted to do was talk to him. I just wanted to lay in bed and skip all my classes. But we were nearing the end of the semester and I couldn’t really afford to skip. Despite my “I don’t give a shit” attitude, I always got my ass to class. Stryker hadn’t struggled to get me here only to have me waste this opportunity.

Max and I showered separately and then went to breakfast together. We used to dine with Lottie, Will, Audrey, Simon and Brady, but it was just the two of us today. Lottie was now living with Zan, so she probably ate omelets off his abs or something every morning.

The rest of them either had wonky class schedules or just didn’t have the time today. Max was his usual sweet self, getting me coffee, passing me the syrup and smiling at me as if I was the prettiest girl in the world.

Sometimes it freaked me out how much he seemed to like me. But then again, I liked him too. I just wasn’t as obvious about it.

I could tell he was watching me and wanted to talk about my little shutdown-slash-freak out last night. It was a combination of things and some of those things I didn’t want to tell him. Would never tell him. I remembered not that long ago talking to Audrey about secrets. Giving her advice about talking to Will. She took it, told him that she’d had a daughter and given her up for adoption and things turned out fine. Will had even been to visit her daughter and adoptive parents. Somehow he even became friends with the father of the baby, Eddie. Go figure.