Tonight and Forever (9 page)

“Go back, Lorren,” he ordered, taking immediate charge of the situation. “This car might blow any minute. There’re two people inside. I have to get to them and check the extent of their injuries. Call 911 again and tell them to get a chopper in here fast. It looks pretty bad, and I can’t risk moving them.”

Lorren did as Justin instructed, moving swiftly. When she returned moments later, he had crawled through a broken window and was inside the car, administering medical aid to the victims. She noticed they were teenagers, a girl and a boy.

Standing a safe distance away, she watched Justin. Gone was the taunting gleam in his eyes and the suggestive smile tilting his lips. Both had been replaced by frowns of deep concern and compassion. She fought back the bile threatening to rise in her throat at the sight of the teenagers’ physical condition. She felt faint. “Justin, are they—”

“They’re alive, Lorren, but barely. I hope the chopper gets here soon. They need to be transported to the hospital immediately. Both have extensive injuries.”

A few minutes later the sound of a chopper could be heard overhead and the loud squeal of sirens followed. Shortly thereafter, the area was swarming with help.

Justin beckoned to her when both victims were being loaded in the chopper. “I’m going with them to the hospital. It was touch and go there for a while with the girl, so say a prayer for both of them. Drive the Vette back to your place. I don’t know how long I’ll be, so just leave the keys under your mat.”

“How will you get home?”

“I’ll get one of the officers to drop me off.” He quickly brushed her lips with his. Then, turning, he ran toward the chopper.

Lorren got in Justin’s car. Before starting the ignition she bent her head and said a prayer.

Lorren threw off the bedcovers when she heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Not bothering to slip into her robe, she quickly went into the kitchen and turned on the coffeemaker. A quick glance at the kitchen clock indicated it was almost three o’clock.

Peeping out the window, she saw Justin get out of a patrol car. He headed toward the porch to retrieve his keys from under the mat. She opened the door. “Justin?”

Justin came toward her, then stopped. Hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his jeans, he cocked his head to one side. “What are you doing up?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” She moved aside, holding the door open for him. “Come in. I’ve made coffee.”

Inside, in full view of the lights, she saw lines of strain and fatigue etched on his face. Without further thought, she took his hand and led him into the kitchen. She poured a steaming cup of coffee and gave it to him.

Justin gazed into the dark murky substance before lifting the brew to his lips. He raised his head and met her eyes, knowing the questions lodged there. “They’re in critical condition. Let’s pray they make it.”

He let out a deep breath, and his eyes bored into Lorren. “They had a high alcohol level, way over the limits. Can you believe that? The boy is only seventeen and the girl is sixteen. And to top if off, neither of them were wearing seat belts. It’s a wonder they weren’t killed instantly. If we hadn’t heard the crash, there’s no telling what would’ve happened. That stretch of highway is pretty much deserted after midnight.”

His voice crumbled slightly. “They’re just kids, Lorren. Kids who should have a full life ahead of them, going swimming, skating, dancing. Kids who should not have been drinking. The girl is just a few months older than my baby sister.”

Instinctively, Lorren put her arm around Justin and pressed her head against his chest. He was a man who had dedicated his life to helping others, but he was also human. And at the moment, the human side of him agonized over a senseless accident. His hold on her tightened, and she knew he was trying to come to grips with what he’d witnessed tonight.

She pulled back and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “You did all you could, Justin. And you may have saved their lives. You even risked your own life by getting inside that car to help them. The car could have caught fire at any moment. I was so proud of you tonight.”

Justin slipped an arm around Lorren and drew her back against the hard warmth of his chest. She became confused with the feelings of warmth and protectiveness he was stirring in her. The thought that she could protect him from anything was absolutely ridiculous. But still, she couldn’t help feeling she was comforting him in some way.

Lorren intended to place another kiss on his cheek, but he turned and caught her lips with his. Her mouth responded to the gentle probing of his tongue. He drew her closer to him. She moved her hips and gasped when she felt his hardness pressed against her.

Justin gently caressed her mouth with slow moist strokes, building pleasure inside of her with each second that ticked by. He thoroughly explored the insides of her lips, drawing one into his mouth, sucking on it. She groaned at the sensations churning inside her.

“Let me love you, Lorren. Please.” His plea, spoken huskily in her ear, sent shivers down her body. He hadn’t demanded anything from her with dirty words, as Scott had always done. His words were soft and sensual. And he wasn’t handling her roughly either. He was touching her as though she were a fine piece of china. She shivered as his caresses became more sensual, more heated through the fabric of her nightgown. Her breathing quickened along with his. She knew where they were headed if she didn’t stop him. But for the life of her, she couldn’t.

And deep down, she didn’t want to.

Please let all of Scott’s accusations be lies. Please don’t let me disappoint Justin. More than anything else in the world, tonight I want Scott to be wrong about me. Please let it be so. Please.

“Please.” Her lips whispered the words in his mouth. Slipping her arms around his neck, she melted into his embrace. “Please.”

Justin’s eyes smoldered with desire when he raised his head. In one smooth movement he swept Lorren into his arms. She closed her eyes and brushed her face against his throat as he carried her from the kitchen to the bedroom. Once there he gently placed her on the bed in the tangle of bedcovers, then joined her, pulling her into his arms.

His lips again took hers, his tongue probing the soft sweetness of her mouth. She melted against him. Justin’s hand traced a path down her waist, toward her thigh, then stopped. A part of him held back as sanity returned.
What am I doing? The last thing Lorren needs is for me to take advantage of her. We’re both in a highly charged emotional state as a result of the auto accident. I won’t be able to handle it if she regrets our lovemaking in the morning.

Reluctantly, Justin broke off their kiss. “No,” he whispered raggedly, forcing his head up. “This is no good.”

Misunderstanding his words, Lorren’s body stiffened. She pushed herself away from him and his rejection. Humiliation swept through her. She was lying in bed, with her nightgown up, and he didn’t want her.

Scott had been right about her.

A fresh wave of pain swept over Lorren. She pushed her gown down and turned away from him. She couldn’t look at him. “Please leave,” she managed to say, her voice shaky.

Justin got off the bed, straightening his clothes and cursing under his breath. “Lorren, I’m really sorry about—”

“Just leave, Justin.” She couldn’t handle any words of pity he was about to say.

He hesitated before speaking again, rubbing the palm of his hand across his haggard face. “I think we need to talk about—”

“No. There’s nothing to discuss. Just go.”

When Lorren heard the door closing behind Justin, she collapsed on the bed, giving in to her tears.

J
ustin stood at the grill and basted the ribs. Looking up, he smiled. “Syneda, I’m glad you could make it.” He glanced around the patio. “Where’s Lorren?”

“She’s not coming.”

Justin’s smile vanished. “Did she say why?”

“She said something about feeling a little under the weather.”

Justin cast a sidelong glance through the trees, to the house where Lorren was staying. “Oh, I see.”

Syneda was silent for a long moment. As an attorney she’d become very adept at judging people’s characters. She felt she’d done a pretty good job of summing up Justin Madaris. He came across as a very caring man, one who would never intentionally hurt a woman. And the bottom line was that Lorren was hurting because she was convinced that, like Scott, Justin had rejected her. Lorren had told her what had almost happened last night, and how Justin had stopped and walked away. She believed he had done so because he’d realized she wasn’t worth the bother. But Syneda believed he’d acted the role of a gentleman, and had stopped himself from taking advantage of the situation. Nothing she could say would convince Lorren of her theory. Now Syneda wondered how she could get Justin to succeed where she had failed, without betraying her friend’s confidence.

Justin cleared his throat. Syneda was staring at him silently, her sea green eyes oddly speculative. “Is something wrong, Syneda?”

Syneda gazed up at him, her decision made. “Yeah. I have this problem, and I’m hoping you can help me with it.”

Justin raised a brow. “Oh, what sort of problem is it?”

“Strictly professional, involving one of my clients. It may be a little out of your expertise, but at times another ear helps. And I’m hoping, with your medical background, you can possibly steer me in the right direction.”

“All right. I’ll try.”

Syneda took a deep breath. “I’ve been working with this client who’s been abused by her husband.”

“Physically abused?”

She squinted up at him. “No, emotionally abused.”

Justin nodded knowingly. “Sometimes that’s even worse. Cruel words can hurt just as deeply as any physical blow. Physical wounds can heal pretty quickly. Mental wounds can fester for years.”

“I agree, Justin. My client and her husband have been married a couple of years, and he’s managed to tear down her self-confidence as a woman by convincing her she’s sexually worthless.”

“And she believes him?”

“He’s the only man she’s ever been involved with, so yes, she believes him. And because he’s been successful in convincing her of this, she feels threatened by any other man who tries to get too close.”

“In other words, she’s built a wall around herself.”

“Precisely.”

“Sounds like your client has one hell of a problem, Syneda. Have you advised her to seek professional help?”

“Yes, I’ve tried, but she refuses to listen,” Syneda admitted softly. “To be totally honest with you, Justin, I’m not sure professional help is what she needs right now.”

Justin lifted a brow. “What do you think she needs?”

“Someone caring and concerned enough to prove her husband wrong.”

“Matchmaking isn’t within your profession, but if you feel strongly that’s the answer, I suggest you do your damnedest to get her out of her present situation by speeding up her divorce. Hopefully she’ll be able to rebuild her life. Eventually she’ll meet someone who’ll realize just how special she is.”

Syneda smiled. “Perhaps she has already. She recently moved back to her hometown and has a doctor living close by. In fact, he’s her only neighbor, for miles. The good doctor appears to be interested in her. I just hope he’s smart enough to key in on the fact she needs his help.”

She paused before continuing. “I’ve met him and, although I really don’t know him that well, both my mind and my heart are leading me to believe that he’s a good person, and that he won’t ever intentionally hurt her. I think he’s exactly who she needs now.”

She reached out and touched Justin’s shoulder. “Thanks for being a captive audience. It felt good to talk to someone else about it.”

Justin thought for a long moment before giving her a crooked smile. “You’re welcome. You can bend my ear anytime.”

Syneda nodded. Satisfied. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to mingle. I see a few people I know over there.” She turned to leave.

“Syneda?”

She looked back over her shoulder. “Yes, Justin?”

His eyes met hers directly. “This, ah, client of yours. She sounds like someone who’s really a special person.”

“She is, Justin. She’s a very special person.”

“I hope she knows just what a true friend she has in you.”

“No, Justin, it’s the other way around. I know just what a true friend I have in her. Long ago she was there for me when I was going through a difficult time in my life. And now, I can’t stand to see her hurting any longer.”

It was strange how things worked out, Justin thought when Syneda walked away. Just a few nights ago, he’d wondered who could provide him with answers to his questions about Lorren. And without even asking, Syneda, in a roundabout way, had told him basically all he needed to know—at the moment. Anything else would have to come directly from Lorren. What he’d found out had explained a lot, especially some of her behavior.

Justin drew in a deep breath. Lorren was the most sensuous woman he’d ever met. How could she discount her worth as a woman? Her ex-husband had really done a number on her.

He leaned against the wooden post and thought of the times he and Lorren had spent together since meeting at Ms. Nora’s party—especially last night. When he’d arrived back at her place from the hospital, she had stood in the open door for him. Somehow, she had understood how he’d felt. It was as if she had read his inner thoughts, had known his inner feelings, and had responded to them by offering him comfort and compassion.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d freely taken either of those things from a woman. But he had accepted them easily from her. By being there for him, she had shared a part of herself, a major concession on her part, and deep down he knew it. He also knew she’d been willing to go further last night. But, somehow, he had found the strength to walk away from her and the complete surrender she had offered.

He had walked away…

Justin took a sharp intake of breath. Did Lorren see his walking away as another rejection? Did she realize that he’d done them both a tremendous favor by pulling back?

He heaved an exasperated sigh. No, she wouldn’t realize it. Not in her present frame of mind. She would definitely see it as a rejection.

He ran his hand across his chin. He had to convince Lorren that he hadn’t rejected her. Somehow he had to make her understand.

The night air was unusually cool, Lorren thought, stepping out onto her porch. The heavy aroma of smoked spareribs and well-seasoned steamed blue crabs floated on the breeze. The tantalizing smell was coming through the trees from Justin’s place.

She should have stayed inside. Unable to concentrate on her writing, she should have done something else, like read a book or watch television. She didn’t particularly want to think about Justin tonight; she wanted to think of other things.

But she had nothing else to think about.

Even while sleeping last night, thoughts of him had plagued her. Desire for him had hummed through her body, causing her to shift restlessly in bed, aching for his touch.

A touch she would never feel again.

Smoothing her skirt, she sat down on the bottom step, stretching out her legs. Someone once said, “the truth shall set you free.” Well, in her case, learning the truth had placed her in even more bondage. For the first time, she was beginning to think moving back to Ennis had not been such a good idea after all.

She had been a fool to think she could start over. No matter where she went, she couldn’t run away from the truth of who she was and what she was. She was a woman with the inability to take care of a man’s physical needs. Therefore, she would never be able to share a serious relationship with any man.

Long ago she had learned the best way to protect herself was to stay away from any sort of involvement and to maintain an emotional distance as a safety precaution. She had let her guard down with Justin and was paying for it now. She would have to be more careful in the future. Her peace of mind depended on it.

Justin leaned against the oak tree, glad Lorren hadn’t noticed him yet so he could study her. Just looking at her gave him such a sense of pleasure. Lorren Jacobs and her eyes, the color of rich caramel, demanded a second look, and a third. A man would have to be a fool not to appreciate her beauty.

And a man would have to be far worse than a fool not to appreciate her as a woman. Her touch was fire. It rushed through him like a brush blaze caught by the wind. The times they’d kissed, desire, the likes of which he’d never known, pulsed through him, making his need for her insistent and monumental.

But it didn’t just stop there. He knew there was more to her than just sensuality and physical beauty.

Lorren was different from any woman he’d been involved with since Denise. From their initial meeting that night, there had been something about her that had drawn him to her like a moth to a flame. And whatever it was, it still held him captured, entranced.

Now, knowing a little about her past life, he could just imagine the pain she had gone through; the misgivings and uncertainties she still felt. For some unexplainable reason, he felt attuned to her and sensitive to her feelings. And he knew, without a doubt, he would not be completely satisfied until all her barriers were gone.

Sighing deeply, he moved away from the tree and began walking toward her.

Lorren sensed someone’s presence in the woods and drew in a quick, startled breath.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Justin said, coming forward.

“Justin?” She sat up straighter, feeling somewhat nervous. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at the party with your guests?” she asked in a strained voice.

Justin sat down beside her on the wooden step. “Everyone has left except for my brother Clayton and Syneda. And they’re too engrossed in a discussion of law to notice my absence. You can’t imagine how dull it can be when two attorneys get together.”

“Why are you here?”

“I heard you were a little under the weather. Thought I’d drop by to see if there’s anything I can do.”

“No. I’m fine.”

“About last night, Lorren.”

“I’d rather not talk about it, Justin.”

“That may be true for you, but I need to talk about it.”

Lorren stood. “Then talk to yourself, because I don’t intend to listen.”

Justin reached up and gently touched her arm. “Please, let’s talk.”

She frowned. This didn’t make sense. Why was he here? Now that he knew the truth, he wasn’t supposed to come back.

“Please, Lorren,” Justin repeated quietly. He wanted to hold her in his arms and protect her from the pain of the past. But first, he had to straighten things out between them.

Something in Justin’s voice pulled at Lorren. She stared at him for a moment before finally giving in and returning to the seat beside him. She firmed her lips. If he wanted to talk, she would let him. For once she wouldn’t run away. There was nothing he could say that would be worse than what Scott had already said.

“I owe you an apology for last night, Lorren. I almost pushed you into doing something you weren’t ready to do. We were both upset about the accident, and were going to use sex as a way of comforting each other. And as much as I wanted you, that wouldn’t have been right. No matter what you might think of me, I would never deliberately take advantage of you. I’m glad we stopped when we did, and I’m sorry I lost control of the situation.”

Justin’s words left Lorren more than a little stunned. Her lashes flickered, and a cord in her throat tightened. She didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t pulled away because he’d found her lacking? He had pulled away to not take advantage of her? He had actually wanted her?

“But I thought—”

“Yes? What did you think, Lorren?”

“Nothing. It’s not important.”

Neither of them spoke for several minutes. Lorren fingered the fabric of her skirt, knowing she should say something. Justin spoke before she had a chance to. “Will you forgive me, Lorren?”

She shrugged. “There’s really nothing to forgive, Justin. What almost happened was just as much my fault, too. As you said, we were both upset and feeling kind of down over the accident. It was just a natural reaction to turn to each other that way.”

Lorren felt Justin’s arms go around her, and in one smooth sweep, he moved her to his lap. Taken by surprise, she opened her mouth to say something. She couldn’t recall what she’d wanted to say when Justin tenderly nestled her in his strong arms.

She could hear the sound of his heartbeat against her face, and could smell the manly scent of him. His chin rested atop her head, his arms wrapped securely around her. His tender hold and the soft stroke of his fingers on her arm were caring. The tensions caused by her jumping to conclusions slowly began leaving her body, and she surrendered to the protectiveness of his embrace, feeling warm and contented.

For a long moment Justin continued to hold her, rocking her gently in his arms. Never before had any man shown her so much tenderness. Never had anything she wanted to feel so wrong felt so right. The feeling was wonderful, but at the same time terrifying. She was attuned to his closeness, his strength, and the hardness of his body. She threw her head back and their eyes met and held. She was startled by the warmth displayed in the depths of his eyes.

“I should go in now, Justin,” she whispered. “It’s getting late.”

Reluctantly, he released her, allowing her to stand. Lorren smoothed down her skirt and straightened her blouse. When she had finished, Justin rose to his feet in a swift, seamless movement and gently pulled her to him. His lips moved in a soft caress, tracing a path across her forehead, the tip of her nose, then across her cheek and to the base of her neck. Leaning over slightly, he touched her mouth very lightly with his.