Tools of Ignorance: Lisa's Story (27 page)

Lisa sighed and looked out the window, no longer pretending to listen to Lawrence Jr. The corn in the fields seemed to have grown two feet since the last time she’d noticed. That meant summer was well on its way. Summer was supposed to be about spending time with Sam, and it was already the middle of July. Lisa wanted a total do over.

“Lisa!” her mother said sternly.

“What?” Lisa snapped to attention.

“You’re in space this morning.”

“Sorry.” She attempted a smile, but didn't really feel it.

Her mother sighed. “I asked if you wanted a quick bite to eat after church before having lunch at Sam’s.”

Lisa was confused. “Lunch at Sam’s?”

Her mother’s eyes softened. “Yes, honey. Sam’s taking you to East Valley after your appointment with Reverend Owens.”

Lisa’s eyes flew open. “She is?” She sighed in relief. “Really?”

Her mother nodded.

“I guess I’ll just wait for lunch at Sam’s.”

Her mother nodded and turned toward the front.

The church service was relatively quick, and her meeting with Reverend Owens was even quicker. While her family waited out front kicking a soccer ball around, Lisa followed the reverend to his office in the building behind the church. She wasn’t sure what to expect as she sat down with him, but basically he told her that God loved all his children, and that love, in any form, was not a sin. He told her to pray for guidance and to make good choices. He said that her mother was concerned that she not make hasty decisions at age sixteen. Decisions that could affect the rest of her life. It was good advice, but did nothing to change what she already knew about herself. She was a lesbian, even though labeling herself with a much-hated word like that was difficult.

In the van on the way back home, Lisa bounced her leg up and down. Couldn’t her father drive any faster? Once they got home, she flew into the house and changed her clothes. She brushed out her hair but wasn’t sure if she should braid it. The doorbell rang, so the decision was made for her. She wanted to bolt to the front door and twirl Sam in her arms but forced herself to slow down and take a deep breath. She had three weeks of stupidity to undo and couldn’t risk rushing it.

With a deep breath she took one last look in the mirror and was satisfied with the way her tight red polo shirt hugged her. Sam would have to be blind not to notice.

Lisa headed to the living room and stopped dead in her tracks. Sam’s blond hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, her three-quarter sleeve oxford shirt hugged her trim figure. Gold hoop earrings dangled tantalizingly near her bare neck. Lisa felt weak in the knees as she fought for composure.

Lynnie was thanking Sam again for the Harry Potter books. “You’re so very welcome, Lynnie. I’ll bring you some more books about magic when I bring Lisa back home later, okay?”

“Okay.” The smile on Lynnie’s face melted Lisa’s heart.

Sam looked up and her face softened when she saw Lisa. Her lips parted slightly. “Hi,” she said simply.

“Hi.”

“Ready to go?”

Lisa nodded. She hugged her parents, said goodbye to Lynnie, and gently explained to Bridget and Lawrence Jr. why they couldn’t go with her. On their way to the car her mother called after them. “Back by midnight, okay, girls?”

“Okay, Mom.”

“Will do, Mrs. Brown.”

Lisa walked up to the red Sebring, and was surprised at how nervous she was. Now that Sam was actually there, she couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

Sam opened the passenger door, and Lisa got in. Sam walked behind the car and got in the driver’s side. Once she was seated in the driver’s seat and started the engine, Lisa’s hands began to sweat.

Sam said, “So, we’ll head back to East Valley, okay? Helene is making lunch for us.” She smiled at Lisa, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes as if she wasn’t so sure how much to commit.

“Okay. I’m, I’m looking forward to meeting her,” Lisa stammered.

Sam nodded and headed out to C.R. 62 toward East Valley. They passed the McDonald’s billboard just outside of Clarksonville, and Lisa pointed. “Is that the one?”

Sam nodded, but didn’t elaborate.

After a few awkward minutes of silence, Sam cleared her throat and said she’d gone to Christy’s graduation ceremony and party afterward. “It was weird seeing Christy’s parents at a party in their own house.”

Lisa laughed. “Yeah, I bet. Jeri’s graduation party was fun. We went to D’Amico’s, of course.”

“Of course.”

Lisa patted her stomach. “I’ve been eating way too much Italian food lately. I’m going to have to go on the grapefruit diet soon.”

Sam looked her over appreciatively. “You? No, not you.”

Lisa blushed and looked down at her hands in her lap. “Thanks for picking me up. I didn’t know how to get you to call me back. Sam, I honestly didn’t know Tara—”

“I know,” Sam interrupted quietly, “but I don’t want to talk about any of that. Not yet. Let’s just enjoy the ride for now, okay?”

Lisa nodded. “Okay.”

The rest of the forty-five minute drive to East Valley was filled with small talk. Lisa desperately wanted to reach for Sam’s hand, but didn’t want to push things. Sam told her about the summer team she, Susie, and Marlee were playing on in East Valley. The coach, Coach Gellar, hoped Lisa would come out to the games to watch, so she could be part of the team while her hand healed. Other than that, they didn’t discuss anything important. Lisa was with Sam, and that’s all that really mattered. They drove through the town of East Valley, and just when it looked like they were heading back out into the wide open countryside, Sam put on her left blinker. Lisa hadn’t even noticed the private driveway.

Sam drove up the narrow paved drive, through a thick stand of tall pines. A sturdy iron gate blocked the driveway and seemed impenetrable. She reached up to the visor and hit a button on a remote control. The gate swung open in front of them. She drove up the driveway slowly as if to give Lisa the full effect. A white mansion rose up in front of them, almost blocking out the sky.

Sam drove up the slight incline and pulled around the circular drive. “I usually park in my garage over there,” she pointed to one of five garages they had passed, “but we won’t be here that long. I want to drive you around East Valley and show you why people call it Payton Valley behind our backs.”

“Okay.” Lisa stepped out of the car and tried to steady her shaking hands. The front lawns rolled on and on as far as she could see. A large fountain surrounded by colorful flower gardens dominated the driveway. She recognized the tulips, daffodils, and roses, but not many of the other flowers. The garden was an obvious attempt to cheer up the yard, but with no sounds of children playing, dogs barking, motorcycles revving, it didn’t seem like home. Even the crows cawing in the distant pines added to the loneliness.

Sam met her on the passenger side of the car. Lisa must have had a nervous look on her face because Sam said, “Don’t worry. My parents are still at the vacation house in Watertown.”

“Okay.” Lisa hadn’t even gotten that far in her thoughts. She was still trying to take in the mansion and lawns without gawking openly. Seven or eight stone steps led up to the front door. Four giant pillars, columns, or whatever they were called, made Sam’s house look the Vanderbilt’s house.
No, it’s not a house, it’s a freakin’ mansion.

“What?” Sam asked.

Oh, geez, she had said the last part out loud. “I said, ‘your house is a mansion.’ I’ve never seen one.” She swallowed hard and knew that Sam saw her do it. She was so nervous that she couldn’t think straight.

Sam laughed. “It’s okay, Lisa,” she said quietly. “This is hard for me to show you all this, too.” Sam gestured up at the four columns. “That balcony is off my parents’ bedroom.”

Lisa couldn’t help seeing that the balcony alone was wider than her entire house. The outdoor chandelier and elegant furniture looked expensive. She couldn’t begin to imagine what kind of furniture was inside the house.

“And that section of the house,” Sam gestured toward a one-story section to the left of the main building, “is Helene’s quarters.”

Helene’s quarters are bigger than my house, too
Lisa thought, but simply nodded.

“C’mon,” Sam said, “let’s go in so you can meet Helene.”

Sam led the way up the stone steps, and Lisa tried to imagine Sam climbing them after school with a backpack slung over her shoulder. It was hard to picture. Sam held the front door open, and Lisa walked onto spotless marble floors. She couldn’t help noticing the colossal gold chandelier overhead. Several glass tables held crystal vases of fresh flowers as if that was their only function. An antique-looking red velvet couch sat on one side. The bedroom she shared with Bridget was smaller than the entryway where they stood.

“This is the foyer,” Sam said. She pointed to a room on the left. “That’s the music room and Mom’s sitting room where the ladies come for tea in the afternoon.” She said the word ‘ladies’ with a hint of disdain. “That room further up the hall is Dad’s study. To the right is the kitchen and dining room and way in the back,” she pointed, “are the living room, TV room, recreation room, and fitness room. Oh, the pool is in the back with changing rooms and stuff. The tennis courts, maintenance shed, gardener’s cottage—they’re all out back.” She swept her arm toward the back of the house.

Lisa nodded, but had gotten stuck on trying to figure out the differences between a living room, TV room, and recreation room.

“Helene?” Sam called. “I’m home.”

A youngish middle-aged woman stepped out of what must have been the kitchen, and wiped her hands on a towel hanging off her apron. She was absolutely gorgeous with high cheek bones, silky blond hair piled in a bun on her head, and elegant clothes. She was not what Lisa had expected of a nanny.

Helene smiled. “Ah, you must be Lisa.” She held Lisa at arms’ length. “You are a gorgeous young lady.”

Lisa felt her face get hot. “Thank you.” What else was she supposed to say to that?

Helene let her go, looked at Sam, and said, “You were right. She’s stunning.” Helene smiled at Lisa.

“Thanks, Helene. I know.”

Lisa almost choked. She put a hand up to her mouth to hide her embarrassment.

Sam smiled at Lisa and said, “C’mon, let me show you my room.”

“Lunch will be ready in twenty minutes, girls.” Helene headed back toward the kitchen, but then called after Sam. “Door open, Samantha Rose.”

“Okay, okay.” She put both hands out as if to keep Helene back. “It’ll be fine, Helene.”

“Nothing like the last time, okay?”

Lisa had no idea what they were talking about, but the crimson shade of Sam’s cheeks told her she probably didn’t want to know.

At the top of the stairs, Sam turned and pointed toward the front of the house. “That’s my parents’ suite, like I showed you out front. My room’s in the back.”

They turned right at the top of the stairs into what could only be called a wing. Sam led the way past several closed doors, but Lisa was afraid to ask what was behind them, afraid another wing of the mansion would appear. The plush red carpeted hallway seemed to go on for miles until Sam paused in front of the last doorway on the left. She gestured for Lisa to go in first.

Lisa walked in and found herself in a living room complete with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves overflowing with books. On one side of the room, a couch and two love seats formed a U in front of a wall-mounted flat screen television, DVD player, stereo, and various gaming equipment. More book shelves, a built-in desk, and two computer systems with several printers and scanners filled the other side. The room seriously looked like a room on a designer show, the kind her mother watched on HGTV.

“Where are we?” Lisa asked.

“My room.”

“This is your room?”

Sam nodded. “I do my homework and stuff there,” she pointed toward the desk area, “and I entertain friends in the TV area here.”

“Where do you sleep?”

“Oh, in here.” Sam walked over to a closed door at the far end of the room past the desk. Sam opened the door, but stood in the doorway. Lisa looked past her into a bedroom easily three times the size of her parents’ master bedroom. “I can’t—I’m not—” Sam sighed. “I’m not allowed to have friends in my actual bedroom, um, where my bed is.” Sam’s face turned a deep shade of red.

“Okay. No bedroom. Check.” Lisa smiled to try to put Sam at ease, but felt her own cheeks get warm and doubted she was helping.

“It’s Helene’s rule. My parents don’t know about the rule.” Sam bit her lip and looked at Lisa for a long while, searching her eyes for something, but before she had a chance to say anything, Helene’s voice shattered the quiet. Lisa jumped.

“Is your front door still open?”

Sam sighed and went to her desk. She hit a button on an intercom device. “Yes, Helene. It’s fine. I promise, promise, promise. Okay?”

“Okay, I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

Sam looked back at Lisa and rolled her eyes. “She’s a little over protective.” She went back and re-closed the door to the off-limits bedroom “Let’s go sit, and I’ll tell you everything, okay?”

“Okay.” Lisa wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the details, but if she and Sam were going to clear the air, it would have to be okay.

They headed toward the couch and Sam sat on one end while Lisa sat on the other. Sam kicked off her sandals and put her feet on the couch in between them. Lisa did the same, except she kicked off her sneakers.

“I’ve missed you, Lisa.”

“Oh, God, me too.” They both chuckled.

“I’m sorry I got jealous.”

Lisa smiled. “I think we were both afraid of getting hurt.”

Sam nodded. “You I trust. Tara not so much.”

Lisa waved her off. “Oh, believe me. I handled her.” Lisa told her about the Rattle Syndrome and how she called Tara a predator scouring the nursery for jailbait.

Sam put a hand to her mouth in disbelief. “And she didn’t rip your head off?”

“Hey, I could have taken her, even with my bad hand.” She held up the hand with the soft cast.

Sam leaned forward and reached for Lisa’s hand. “How is it? Can I see?”