Top Love: An Alpha Billionaire Romance (Young Adult Stepbrother and Billionaire Romance Stories) (35 page)

              Quickly, recklessly, he tore my panties with one sharp rip of the blade. 

“Master.  Please…stop.  No more.”

My begging and pleading seemed to have a strange erotic effect on me.  The more I begged, the more my nipples called out for relief, the more of a head rush it gave me. 

But it wasn’t enough.  He needed me to surrender all mind, body and soul to him.  I had to lose all consciousness and ownership of my own body.

I heard the snap, followed by an ominous and low-toned tone, the sound of a large vibrator working its magic.  First, the lock thick metallic shaft teased my thighs. 

“Ahhh…yes…yes…”  This felt a little more normal.  My body started to relax.  I enjoyed the feeling of clit massage.  Maybe even a little thrusting.  But little did I know that relaxed was the opposite of what I was supposed to be feeling.

The vibrator rolled down into my lips, penetrating my wet pussy and going deep.

“Yes…just like that.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.  You will be told what to feel.  Understand?”

“Yes.  Master.”

“Now you have to be punished,” he said sternly, minus any voice of irony.  “You don’t talk unless you’re spoken to, understood?

“Yes.”

I heard another snap and he secured the huge vibrator inside my pussy walls, pounding away at my nerve endings, and even reaching my G-spot thanks to a curve.

“Ohhhh…stop…stop…”

“No, no, I’m not going to stop.  You’re not going to like this.  But that’s what you get for trying to tell me what to do.  Understand?”

“Yes…”

“Do you understand?”

“Yes!”

“Then what do you say?”

“I’m sorry, Master.  Please.  Punish me.”

“Again.”

“Punish meeeeee…”  My body tensed and my nerves stood at attention.

He had spanked me with some rubber latex, a flogger or something equally harsh.  It didn’t feel good…at first.  It stung like a bite.  It vibrated and left me sore. 

“Aahhh!”

My voice was watery and pained.  It was already too much and I hadn’t even begun to suffer what he felt I needed.

“Do you deserve more punishment?  What do you think?”

I actually thought about it.  My pussy was already throbbing inside, that damned shaft striking my G-spot hard and repeatedly.

But to say no now, would be cowardly.  It would be weak.  I needed to be stronger so that we could both be stronger.  I needed to become her.

“No.  I want more.  I can handle more.”

“You deserve it don’t you?”

“YES!” I screamed, just as he struck me again with that flogger—fuck it hurt, it stung my skin like those old time spankings mom used to give me. 

“Tell me to stop.  And I’ll stop.”

“Stop!  Please stop!” I begged—just before he whacked me good again.  “Please stop!”

“Why?”

“Because…it stings…too much…too much.”

“Beg me.”

“Pleeeease!”

He flogged me again, but this time aiming a little bit higher.

“Oh God!  That feels…feels…”  I couldn’t even scream or finish the thought.  My whole body started to shake and vibrate, matching the rhythm of the vibrator which was still tearing up my pussy.

“Tell me stop.”

“Stop!”

He smacked me again— the pain was immense.  And then he smacked me again, finally reaching a peak.

Endorphins rushed to my head and I felt a euphoric stab that seemed to make all the pain in my body instantly disappear. 

“Oh God…oh that feels good.”

He struck me again, right where I needed it to hurt.  It send electricity throughout my skin, giving me a full body shake.  This wasn’t just building to an orgasm.  This really did hurt…and forced the endorphins out of me, just in time, making my whole body numb and my mind feel high as a kite. 

As the love drugs wore off I felt my orgasm building.

“Ohhh!  Ohh God!”

“Is that what you like?”

“Yes!  Yes!”

And then one strike too many…

My whole body seemed to go limp—almost numb.  Like nothing I ever felt before.  I stopped hearing, stopped feeling and just went into this strange primal moment of nothingness.  A trance, where only his voice permeated my thoughts.

And then I said it…

“Purple Sapphire.”

And he stopped.  That was the safe word.  It didn’t hurt anymore, but I reached the point of no return—a point where I couldn’t take any more stimulation and just needed to feel nothing.  I needed to feel peace, to feel just his body connected to mind.

Then I felt his hands touch me, warming me, and right when I needed him.  His body head, his skin, alone, started to soothe me.  And it made the pain go away.  I wanted to stay in this moment forever.

It was beyond love.  Beyond orgasm.  In a trance of total human connection.  The adrenaline rush had come and gone from the pain and left me in a place of total need and helplessness.  And he was there to pick me up.

“I’m going to take off the blindfold,” he said.

And like a vision of heaven everything seemed to glow.  And I only saw his face.  He was like an idol, a vision of something beautiful.  My eyes dilated and I saw his eyes feeding mine.  I smiled and the world finally made sense.  My heart melded with his.

Just as he wanted it.  He wanted me to lose everything and give him everything I had inside.  Literally.  Oh God, literally…

Ohhh Master.  Master.  Alfie.  Alfred Banes.  My Love.  My Love.  

I said it…or thought I said it.  Who knows what was real or hallucinated at that point?  Full of endorphins and oxytocin, and the adrenaline just wearing off I started to falling into the trance state again.  Too exhausted to speak.  Or if I was talking I had no idea what he was saying. 

But I felt as cold as ice and desperately needed his touch.

I couldn’t even say his name, but my crying eyes found his and begged him. 

And the act was over.  He unhooked me from the restraints, and climbed aboard the table to sit by me.  He hugged me and cuddled me.  For long minutes on end, and eventually hours, we just lay there, shaking at first…then calming…then holding each other tight, not wanting to let the moment go. 

“Ohhhh God…” I finally muttered after a long pause of glorious euphoria.  “It felt so good.”

“Don’t talk.  Just live.  You did it.  We did it.”

And just as my concentration came back to me and I started thinking cohesively again… I was convinced that I wanted to have his baby. I wanted to make him mine for the rest of our lives. And sooner than later, deep inside I knew that Alfred will give it to me, but…that wasn’t quite the end of our billion dollar collision in life…

Paranoia is a disease and very much a slow and aching destruction of the mind.  Not as crushing as Alzheimer’s, of course.  But to be so afraid of someone or something that it robs you of the joy of life, is a terrible thing.  It’s not so easy to suppress the voices of what if.  It’s not just a matter of trusting people, just because they say they’re trustworthy.

              Ever since I met Alfred Banes in what proved to be a billion dollar traffic collision in my favor, I have always heard the voice of doubt second-guess every action I take.  Reminding me that Alfred Banes couldn’t possibly love me.  He didn’t even seem to like me when we first met.  Maybe in the back of my mind I always suspected he might go one day and that all I could was bid him farewell; like a sunset that’s too beautiful to end, but that has to vanish into the night.

              So too would Alfred Banes have to leave me.  But somehow, he stayed.  And we worked through our trust issues.  We even withstood the test of his psychotic ex-wife Victoria.  Now Alfred seems well-adjusted, if still a little naughty and insatiable for me at times.

              But now that things are living “happily ever after”, now is the time to panic.  Now that things have calmed down and life seems manageable again, is the time that paranoia creeps in—reminding me of everything that I forgot to do, every dotted line I forgot to signature. 

              Now it’s come to the point where I can’t afford to be wrong.  I am too vulnerable to be playing any more mind games.  I have to live as if this is paranoia and nothing more…because striking me now, when I can’t possible bear it, is a fate worse than death.

              He puts his arms around me, hugging me close as I prepare dinner.  Dinner at home, Netflixing like normal people.  And as his arms caress my bell I am reminded of how amazing life is right now. 

“Did I just feel it kick?” Alfie says sweetly, finding my mommyhood body just as alluring as ever, and now completely in love. 

“No, much too early I think,” I say with a smile.

Our life story is beautiful.  Our happily ever after ending is well on its way.  I could die happy now, though of course leaving my new baby uncared for is too dismal a thought to fathom. 

Alfie walks away from the kitchen, leaving me to my motherly glow.  Everything is find.  Paranoia is just hard to live with.  Maybe it’s time to just let my worries go, with the wind, and to enjoy all the wonders of life and its odd moments of serendipity.

The phone rings.

“I’ll get it…Hello?”

Silence.  Cold silence that makes me flinch.

An eerie feeling comes over me as I realize someone is on the other line.  I can hear breathing but no speaking.  I can sense someone there, listening to me.  But they won’t say a word.

“Hello?” I repeat, hoping to God this is a wrong number.  “Is this a wrong number?”

The silence remains.  A wrong number wouldn’t last this long.  Who just sits there on the other end and listens.  Waits?  Stalks?  I turn to Alfie, who is already walking towards the living room.  Should I upset him?  Is this anything to even get worked up about?

I speak softly, not wanting to alarm Alfie or myself, giving more power to the paranoia.  “Don’t call here again.”

***

“You’re pregnant?” Tina said to me, noticing my belly hadn’t begun to show yet.  But there was definitely something wonderful in the making. 

“I know, hard to believe, right?”

“Well, you’re definitely not showing.” 

“Thanks, I guess. 

I still remember the shot heard round the world that gave me Alfred Banes’ child.  The best orgasm of my life.  I would cling to him for a good three hours just desiring his body, absorbing all his sweat into my pores.  I craved him so badly and the trust that we reached helped to cure him of his ex-wife’s hold was the most passionate thing I had ever experienced. 

For some reason, people assume that just because motherhood starts, a woman loses her sex drive.  Maybe some do.  But I guess I’m the weirdo since I’m craving just as much sex as I am seven course meals.

Unfortunately, Alfie seems distant—at least when it comes to sex.  Maybe he’s worried he’ll hurt the baby or something.  Or maybe he’s just not attracted to pregnant women.  Whatever.  Sex isn’t that important anyway.

What matters is that I won.  I did the unthinkable and scored me the best perfect man.  A dark and mysterious soul, yes, but one who loved me.  I broke down the barriers and let him see into my every fiber of being. 

I ignore the idle chatter of Alfred and his rich friends.  I do feel a little bit like the ugly duckling amid millionaires, entrepreneurs, heiresses and politicians.  Funny how rich attracts rich, whereas a former cashier turned mommy doesn’t really have friends anymore. 

“But besides the baby bump, how have you been Alfred?”

Alfie smiled as content as could be, a closed-lip smile, since he was such a famous curmudgeon.  But for once, with real love and peace in his eyes.  “Good.  Really good.”

“It’s almost too good to be true,” I joked, always nervous and trying not to smile too hard.

Tina and Ralph, Alfie’s best friends from way back—apparently they met at a writer’s conference before their novels hit it big—dominated most of the conversation.  Their children were already grown so they gave their unsolicited opinion on almost everything to do with parenthood, much to my disinterest.  I wanted to raise our child in our own way, not according to a collection of rules. 

I almost tuned out of the silly conversation entirely until Tina broached on a strange subject.

“Budgeting is always a pain.  Even though one has money it doesn’t mean we don’t have to budget.  I’m sure Alfred can tell you that much.”

“True.  That’s one of the misconceptions about being in the upper income bracker.”

“Oh,” I said shyly, definitely feeling out of place among the elite. 

My lover eyed me curiously and smiled, as if very interested to know my thoughts on the rich budgeting their income and expenses. 

Tina then giggled, blathering more than she should have.  “Well just the extortion fees alone should let you know just how tight money is for all of us these days.  We’re not the only ones hurt by recession.”  Tina smiled at me, a bit condescending.

“Umm, excuse me.  Extortion?”

“Well of course, darling,” Tina said blinking her eyes proudly.  When you are a multi-millionaire, you can’t escape extortion, blackmail or frivolous lawsuits.  It’s really best to assume you’re just going to lose a good fifty-fifty of your cases.”

“What?  Why?  Why would you lose?”

“Well…hasn’t Alfie told you about…you know…the incidents?”

Alfie smiled and looked at me with a little bit of a smirk, amused at my innocence. 

“No.  What?”

“Thanks Tina,” he snarled.  “It’s not a big deal.”

“No, tell me.”

“How many is it, this year and counting, Alfred?” Tina asked, tired and grinning.

“About fifteen I’ve counted.”

“Fifteen what?”

“Death threats,” he said matter-of-factly.  “And that’s actually in addition to the thousands of hateful emails and letters which may just casually mention wanting me to die, but that don’t qualify as actual death threats.”

Alfie and his friends enjoyed a good laugh.  But I was mortified.  “Death threats?” I asked weakly.

“It’s nothing to worry about it,” he said confidently.

“Half of them are probably his ex-wife anyway,” Tina laughed…until she saw my horrified face.  “Oh dear.  We haven’t upset you, have we?”

“Alfie…” I said with a nervous laugh.  “How could you keep this from me…”

“It’s nothing,” he said with a strong nod, looking into my eyes.  “So what?  I get death threats.  I also have dozens of blackmail and extortion letters in my mailbag I haven’t even gone through.  I have five lawsuits that are probably not frivolous and a hundred others I don’t even have to respond to, because they’re so ridiculous.  That’s just part of being a public figure, Barbara.”

“Well…”

“Trust me.  It’s going to be okay.”

I sighed, one moment away from throwing a fit.  I felt emotional; probably just the hormones but dammit, my paranoia started to feel real.  People were literally wanting to kill my boyfriend, or me, or the beautiful baby growing inside of me.  How could I laugh it off?

“Come on.  Don’t make a scene,” he said, which provoked a dirty look from my face.  I’m flipping out and all he cared about was me making a scene?

“Don’t worry yourself, darling,” Tina said, taking a big sip of wine.  None of this talk bothered her in the slightest.  “When you’re successful and happy everybody hates you.  It gives meaning to their lives, you know.”

Paranoia.  It was all my paranoia.  So what if someone wanted the father of my child dead?  So what if someone was calling me and listening to me as silent as death?  It was all in my imagination.  It had to be.  Because there was no way I could deal with it, if it proved to be true.

***

My visit with my new gynecologist was unnerving to say the least.  He came highly recommended by a friend and seemed to be a decent and sensitive doctor.  Everything was moving along quickly and I was always so grateful when it did.  For a woman to lose all power and give all trust to a man, all the while in stirrups and in a terribly compromising position, is no easy task. 

“Is it Missus Banes?”

“Pardon me?”

“Oh.  I just thought you were married.”

“Umm…no,” I said with a nervous flinch.

I felt a chill go up my spine and felt instantly that something was wrong.  It was a harmless question, or so I thought.  But still, why did he ask it?  Why would he say anything about the man I’m living with anyway?

Just then, I looked over at the nurse who was “chaperoning” us and she gave me a long, tired almost angsty smile.  These people were certainly not friendly or very good at putting a woman at ease. 

The doctor put his hands down there and began analyzing me.  I felt my paranoia returning.  For a brief moment, I almost thought I caught him looking into my eyes, communicating a thought.  I almost spoke up, because of the strange awkward tension but then decided to keep quiet.

He touched me and then began humming. 

“You are in good health, Missus Banes.”

“Th-Thanks,” I said, gulping down my nerves and staring into his thick black eyes, which seemed suddenly empty.

“Have you ever thought of just how much this baby is worth, Missus Banes?”

He asked me this just as he rested his hand inside me, invading my intimacy and leaving my heart racing in terror.  I shuddered and shook my head, opting out of this, consenting to whatever he wanted.  Money?  Just pay these people, Alfie, I said to myself.  Just don’t let them ruin our life together.

“Okay.  Can I go now?” I said with a choke. 

“Why of course,” he said, smugly.  Even the nurse eyed me up and down, as if there was some hidden meaning being passed around.  I was the only one left clueless and scared shitless for that matter.  If this guy was recommended by a friend, just how exposed and unsafe were Alfie and I?  And my baby?

I ran home in tears and could barely explain the story to my…whatever Alfie was.  He wasn’t my husband.  He was my live-in boyfriend who fathered my child. 

“It’s going to be okay…” he said, a bit less authoritative than he used to be, or at least when we first met.  He was shaken for once.  He was used to laughing off all the death threats and assuring me that he could take care of everything.  He was the billionaire powerhouse, the alpha male who couldn’t be intimidated.

But now, he was the hunted.  Now they knew his weakness.  And now that people knew I was with his child, I was suddenly his vulnerable spot.  It made me feel terrible and introduced him to a brand new feeling of helplessness.  If they could get to his girlfriend’s doctor, just how determined were they to win?

And who were they, anyway?  Just a typical celebrity stalker or extortionist?  Or could it be someone from Alfie’s past? 

In the weeks that followed, Alfie started to feel some of the same paranoia as I did, second-guessing everybody that we talked to, and even minimizing our public events.  He even did the unthinkable and read and reread every single hate mail and online death threat, trying to determine the risk.  I felt bad about it, that I have him my disease, and that now neither of us could sleep at night.

But in the back of my mind, I just had to trust him…had to surrender to him, and tell myself that if he took care of me, I would be okay.  He would be the strong one. 

I still remember the way he would reach in and put his strong arms around me, whispering into my ear that everything was going to be fine.  That no matter what happened, what scenario might come up, he wasn’t going to let his dream fade away.  He worked hard for this.  For his success, his money, and now his girlfriend.  I was not just his lover, or the mother of his child, but his “property.”