Torn (58 page)

“Forever,” I sniffed, lifting my
head to kiss the side of his temple. I kissed him again, running my nose up and
down his cheek, and heard a deep growl rumble up from his chest as his fingers
dug into my ass. He bit my earlobe, making me inhale sharply, then kissed and
bit his way down my neck, nuzzling straight on that one spot I’d always loved.
“Ace,” I moaned.

“Tell me, tell me how much you
want me, Sky,” he rasped as he started walking, and I suddenly became
hyperaware of his solid cock through his jeans.

“I
need
you. Fuck me,
Nate. Fuck me to make me forget while you fuck me to make me remember.”

“Sky,” he groaned. I heard a
crash and something shatter on the floor as he backed me up against the kitchen
island. We both ignored it as our mouths slid over each other’s, red-hot and
needy. He kissed me with more force and hunger than I’d ever remembered him doing,
and I returned it, crushing, licking, sucking, biting, and moaning. It was
different without his tongue stud, but still as hot and erotic as he’d ever
kissed. My insides melted and watered as my pussy swelled and throbbed. His
hands reached for the hem of my sweater and I immediately lifted my arms, a
flash of cream flying through the air as he flung it and started biting my neck
again. I panted, my lungs screaming for air as I shoved at his old leather
jacket, forcing it down his arms and hearing it thud on the floor. My fingers
scrabbled at the back of his shirt, gripping, yanking, forcing him to lean back
as I hauled it up over his head and tossed it, my lips finding his broad chest
before he had a chance to blink.

“Ace,” I moaned, as I caught his nipple
in my teeth and tugged it hard. He’d always liked a bit of pain when I was
pleasuring him.

“Christ, I’ve fucking missed
this, missed you. Tell me,” he gasped, “I need to know, were you always mine?”
His voice held an element of fear, and I immediately knew what he was asking.
He wanted to know if I’d been intimate with Josh.

“Yes. No one else has touched me,
Nate. No one,” I repeated firmly as I kissed my way back up to his throat.
There was a tiny white lie in there, I’d kissed Josh, or rather let him kiss
me, but telling Nate that would only hurt him. I suddenly froze, still panting
with need, the horrible image of what Nate might have been forced to do
intruding my thoughts.

“There’s been no one for me
either,” he uttered, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. “But I have
protection if you’d feel safer.”

“I trust you,” I replied, kissing
my way back up to his lips as I reached down to undo the buttons on his jeans.
“I
trust
you and I need you.”

I slipped off the countertop,
sliding down his body until my feet hit the floor. His hands were tearing at my
yoga pants and panties as fast as I was dragging down his jeans and boxers. All
I could think about was having him back inside me, as deeply as possible.
Nothing between us, as close as two people could be. We’d been forced apart for
far too long. My clothes slid down my thighs to pool on the floor and he lifted
me straight up, parking my ass on the island again. I reached down, wrapping my
fingers around his hard girth, moaning to feel him flex in my hand and the heat
radiating from him.

“No, don’t touch me there,” he
grunted. “It’s been too long and I’m desperate to come, but I want to be inside
you when I do. Spread your legs.” His order had me comply immediately. I could
feel the wetness leaking from me, my muscles contracting and relaxing,
desperate to feel him inside me again. Our eyes locked as he positioned
himself, my jaw dropping as I inhaled sharply.

“I’m scared,” I whimpered, my
breathing coming hard and fast. “I’m … I’m different inside.” I had no idea if
my hysterectomy had changed me, if I’d find it painful, or if he’d find it
wasn’t as enjoyable.

“You’re still my Sky,” he
whispered, reaching up to clasp my face. “No matter what we’ve been through or
the scars we bear, you’re still mine and I’m still yours. Four years couldn’t
change that, this won’t either. You tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop, baby. Do
you really trust me?”

“I trust you,” I breathed. It was
like our first time all over again. Raw and emotional, but also tender and
beautiful. “Oh,” I gasped, my eyes widening as he gently pushed, my vaginal,
almost virginal, walls protesting at the intrusion.

“I love you, Sky. Keep looking at
me, look at my eyes and trust that I’ll never hurt you again. I promise.”

“I love you too, so much it
hurts, but I’ll take that over feeling nothing any day,” I replied as I reached
for his biceps. His pupils blew out as he forced his way inside me with a
groan, my short nails digging into his bulging biceps as I cried out. It was
like my pussy had suddenly recognized him and flowered open for him.

“Jesus … fuck … argh,” he
shouted, throwing his head back. My eyes closed as I shifted my hips, gasping
for breath, the feeling of him inside me again so alien, yet so comforting at
the same time. Crackles of pleasure were sparking out, my clit throbbing as his
cock pulsated inside me. I opened my eyes again to find him staring at me, his
eyes hooded, his bottom lip captured in his teeth. He slowly pulled his hips
back, ever vigilant for any signs of my discomfort, then thrust forward again,
forcing me to cry out his name.

“Yes, yes, again,” I begged,
tightening myself around him, making him hiss. His hands dropped to my hips,
his fingers curling around to dig into my ass, as I reached up and wrapped my
arms around his neck, wanting nothing between us as he started to pump himself
in and out of me, pleasure expanding from my core and saturating my body.

“Ok?” he grunted as he started to
pick up power and speed.

“Yes, oh yes. I’ve missed you,
Nate, so much. Please don’t ever leave me again.”

“I’m going nowhere, baby, I
promise. You’re the love of my life,” he uttered, his words squeezing my heart and
making me cry out his name again as I felt my climax starting to build, the
pressure inside mounting and mounting. It had been too long, it had been
so
long.
“Fuck, yes, like that, keep milking me just like that, I’m gonna … oh fuck,
it’s been too long, I’m gonna come,” he groaned.

I crushed my lips to his as I
shut out everything but him and me, letting my body feel his rubbing and
sliding against mine, and in it, the heat and friction, the comfort and safety
of being back in his arms. I started trembling, my thighs shaking as tears
filled my eyes. Shivers ran up my spine and suddenly a white light filled my
vision behind my closed eyes as my body exploded, beautiful tremors that made
me see stars. Nate’s cries filled my ears as he emptied his heat into me over
and over, his arms moving up my body to grasp me to him so tightly, it was as
if we were one body, one heart, sharing two souls. It was too much. My emotions
were so overloaded that I started to cry again, gasping for air as I sobbed
against his neck, and I felt the hot warmth of his tears on mine.

He just held me, staying inside
me, both of us silently crying as we tried to release the last few years of
pain and sorrow, knowing that it could never be erased or forgotten.

I had no idea how long we clung
to each other, but eventually I heard him kick off his boots and shuffle out of
his jeans, then clutch my bottom and the back of my head as he carried me down
to my bedroom. He gently slid out of me as he lifted me and lay me down on the
bed, then bent over me and started kissing all of the scars on my stomach.

“I’m so sorry for what you lost,”
he whispered. I swallowed a ball of pain and reached down to caress his hair.

“And I am for you, too,” I said
softly, and I knew that he understood I wasn’t just talking about his injuries.

“I miss him, so much,” he said
quietly, the pain in his voice tangible as he crawled up my body, then rolled
onto his back. He dragged me over to curl up against him, his arms wrapped
tightly around me, making me feel so safe again.

“I do too, terribly.”

“Will you come with me, tomorrow,
to see him?” he asked. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I hadn’t been
able to yet. Even when I’d been physically able, I hadn’t had the emotional strength
to go on my own. But I remembered my promise to him, that Nate and I would go
and see him together. I could do this with Nate. We were each other’s crutches
now, here to support each other through anything. I wasn’t alone anymore.

“Of course I will. Wherever you
go, I’ll be by your side.”

August - Six Months Later

I pulled my hair up into a
ponytail and knotted my red and white checkered shirt at my stomach, then bent
over to tie up my red sneakers. Standing up to put my hands on my hips, I took
a look at myself in the mirror. I’d put on the same outfit the first day I’d
met Nate. It was the anniversary, five years since that day, and I wanted to
surprise him. Today I had my necklace on though, the one he’d given to me that
I always wore. It was one of the few things to make it out of the accident
unscathed. I reached up and touched my temple. I had a pink scar from where my
head had cracked the passenger window open, then ran my fingers over my
stomach. There was a jagged pink scar from hip to hip, the surgeons having been
in too much of a hurry to worry about finesse. Then there were the other ones
on my side, and on my legs too. But Nate didn’t care. He loved me, faults and
all. It wasn’t like he didn’t have his share of scars either, on both shoulders
and multiple ones on his side. They were all pale now, as they were older than
mine.

I headed out into the loft’s open-plan
space and slowly walked around to Josh’s old room, standing in the doorway as I
thought of when he’d lived here. Nate and I had moved in here together some
months back. I think it helped both of us to be somewhere so familiar, to feel Josh
around us still. We could have bought ourselves a huge fancy house with a
swimming pool and more. The compensation from the accident had made us each millionaires
in our own right. But we’d never had much money before, and it wasn’t about to
change us. Plus we were still dealing with the past, so we weren’t quite ready
to let go of the loft and the memories of Josh that were in it. My nightmares were
starting to ease, and Nate was finally starting to sleep more soundly. He’d
scared me to death the first night we were reunited. I’d gone to the bathroom in
the middle of the night and when I’d climbed back into bed, he’d growled,
flipped over onto his side, and grabbed me by the throat, pinning me to the
mattress as he’d tried to choke me. It had taken my scream to make him realize
that he was safe, that he wasn’t in his cell, ever wary of his bunkmate. Mom
and Pops had been right, though. Together we were healing each other.

I jogged downstairs and headed
into the repair shop, smiling to find him in a pair of ripped and dirty tight jeans,
a sheen of perspiration clinging to his lightly tanned muscles as he tinkered
with the engine of his beloved Impala.

“Hey,” I called, making him freeze.
“I think I’ve got a flat, can you help?”

“Oh yeah,” he laughed,
straightening up and grabbing a rag to wipe the grease off his hands. “We don’t
do bikes here, but for you, I’ll make an exception.” He whistled through his
teeth, cocking his head to check me out.

“Do you look at all of the
customers like that?”

“Only ones who just agreed to be
my wife,” he grinned, that sexy one-dimpled smile coming out full force. He
chucked the rag and stalked toward me, hauling me up off the floor and spinning
me around.

“Stop, stop, you’re making me
dizzy,” I laughed. He let me slide slowly down his body, claiming me with a
passionate kiss. As soon as we separated, I looked at the delicate diamond ring
on my left finger, my heart swelling as I recalled his garbled and sweetly
nervous proposal in the shower this morning.

“Do you really like it? It’s not
that fancy.” He frowned as he studied my face for a reaction.

“I know we could afford a bigger
one, but I love that you still get me, that I’m just a simple girl at heart. I
love it, Nate, and if you try and apologize once more for blowing your plans of
a romantic proposal up on the roof terrace tonight, I will run this solitaire
down the side of your car.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” he hissed.