Torn (60 page)

“I’ll take care of him. Go and
get the car started, we’ll be down in a minute.” I kissed him and headed warily
into the bathroom. “Chase Hudson, how did you manage this?” I exclaimed,
grabbing some wet wipes as he sat there with an adorable pout on his face, his
messy hand held out in front of him.

“I twied to wipe my own bum, like
a big boy, to make Daddy pwoud. But I foggot the toilet paper,” he sighed,
looking devastated at his failure, which made my heart ache with love for him
for wanting to impress his dad.

“Ok well, you did really well to
try, sweetie, and I’m sure Daddy will be super proud when I tell him,” I
nodded, leaning in to kiss his forehead. “But how did it get on the floor and
the wall?”

“I twied to get it off by doing
this, Mommy.”

I screamed as he flicked his hand
and splattered me with a load of the gooey brown mess. He giggled at the look
of horror on my face as I felt some sliding down my cheek. Nate was right,
there were some aspects of parenting you would never get used to.

Nate gave me a curious look when
I slid into the passenger seat after buckling up Chase in his car seat in the
back.

“What?” I asked.

“Why did you change your shirt,
and why do you have chocolate in your hair?”

“Because I stupidly agreed to
help your son in the bathroom,” I groaned. “It’s not chocolate, it’s poo.”

“I’m not even going to ask,” Nate
chuckled. He threw his arm over the backrest behind me and reversed out of the
lot while I tried to clean myself up, thankful I never went anywhere without a
bag that held a pack of wet wipes and a mirror.

Nate pulled up on my parents’
driveway, and the second the front door was opened, Chase barreled into Pops’
legs as he squealed with excitement. He loved visiting his grandpa and grandma,
almost as much as they loved having him.

“Hey there, tiger.”

“Gwanpa,” he cried, hugging him
tightly when Pops lifted him up into his arms.

“Are you coming in for a drink
first?” Pops asked.

“Sorry, we can’t, we’re running a
few minutes late, but we’ll be back in a while.” I blew Pops and Chase a kiss,
as Nate grabbed my hand and we quickly hurried down the driveway and turned
left. The house we were viewing was only four doors away, with the same
footprint, layout, and amazing views over Lake Mead as my parents’.

I told the realtor that we didn’t
need a running commentary or guide, and while put out, he agreed to wait on the
upper deck. The current owners had been renting it out, and now that it was
empty, they’d put it on the market for a quick sale. It was going to need a
good cleaning from top to bottom, and probably a new kitchen and all of the
bathrooms upgraded, plus redecorating and new wooden floors, but it was
perfect, even Nate agreed. The fact that it had a double garage so he could
store his beloved Impala, and a large grassy backyard to play with Chase, was
enough for him. We wandered hand in hand into the room at the far end of the
house, which mirrored my old bedroom.

“This would be Chase’s room,”
Nate nodded.

“What about our little girl? She
might like this room,” I reminded him as I turned to put my arms around his
neck.

“She’s not our little girl yet,
baby,” he gently reminded me. “I told you not to get your hopes up until we
finalize the adoption paperwork on Monday.”

“They wouldn’t be that cruel to
change their minds now. They know how much we already love her, and don’t tell
me you haven’t allowed her into your heart yet, because I know you have. I
watched you holding her at the last meeting. You looked at her the way you look
at me and at Chase. You didn’t look like tattooed, pierced, sexy bad-boy Nate
Hudson, you looked like a proud father holding his daughter, his
beautiful
daughter, like you’d do anything to protect her.”

“And I will, once she’s ours. I
just …” He exhaled sharply as he circled my waist and kissed my forehead
tenderly. “We’ve had so much bad luck in our lives, I’m scared to believe she’s
actually going to be coming home with us on Monday.”

“We’ve had more than our share of
bad luck, Nate, and the adoption agency knows that. They’ve spent the last few
months vetting us, interviewing us as well as our family and friends, and they’ve
already told us that she’s ours. What could possibly change their minds between
now and Monday?” I scanned his face, trying to work out where this worry had
come from.

“I just can’t bear to see you get
your heart broken, Sky. When you or Chase are in pain, I feel it a thousand
times worse. I’d rather be back in prison than see either of you suffering,” he
stated, sincerity shining from every pore. I clasped his face and gently stroked
his cheeks with my thumbs, then lay a trail of soft kisses from one side of his
mouth to the other.

“And I feel the same, Nate, but
she’ll be coming home with us. We’ve bonded with her now. She knows us. She’s
ours, to love and protect just the way we do Chase. She’s had a horrible start
in life and she needs us as much as we need her.”

I’d fallen in love with her the
moment she’d been carried into the room by one of the members of staff, after
we’d passed all of their screening. She’d only been eight months old at the
time, so pretty with the chubbiest little cheeks, bright blue eyes, and a head
full of thick, dark brown hair. She’d been abandoned as a newborn outside a
7-Eleven store. She’d been admitted to the neonatal version of drug rehab when
she was found to have heroin in her system, and had eventually been weaned off
it and put up for adoption, when all attempts to trace her parents had failed.
And we’d come along at just the right time. Nate and I hadn’t discussed names
yet, he’d refused to, not wanting to jinx it. But as well as wanting a decent
back yard for Chase to play in, I’d pushed for us to look for a house because I
knew we’d be bringing her home with us. I was as sure as I’d been when I
decided to choose Nate ten years ago.

“Well, she’s not having this room,”
he eventually stated, firmly. “There’s too much risk of guys trying to sneak in
through that door without my knowledge.”

“She’s ten months old,” I
laughed, loving how protective he was already.

“I don’t care how old she is. I snuck
into your room when you were eighteen and your dad would have had an early
heart attack if he’d known, even though we didn’t have sex. She’ll be having
the bedroom next to us, and I might fix those window and door alarms up, like I
did for Ma,” he stated stubbornly.

“Oh, so it’s ok for Chase to come
and go and bring girls back, but not her?”

“Damn right it is,” he chuckled.
“Come on, I’ve seen enough. It’s perfect for us and it will be great to be so
close to your parents as well. Chase is growing up so fast, I know they feel
that they’re missing out, even though they only live across town.”

“Thank you.” I breathed a sigh of
relief that he was on the same page.

We headed upstairs and made the
realtor’s day by telling him we were making a cash offer so we could close
quickly.

January - Five Months Later

“Look, Mommy, look,” Chase yelled,
bouncing up and down with excitement as Pops and Nate helped him to open
another of his birthday presents.

“What did you get, sweetie?” I
called, knowing full well what it was.

“It’s a … a … Daddy?” He looked
up at Nate for help, making us all laugh.

“A baseball pitching machine,
Chase, so you can learn to be a baseball batter.” Nate ruffled his hair.

“It makes waffles and pancakes,
too?” Chase gasped, his eyes lighting up at the thought of something producing
his favorite breakfast.

“No,” guffawed Nate, as Mom wiped
tears of laughter from her eyes. Chase had kept us all entertained this
morning. “It’s for you to learn how to hit the baseball, like you watch Uncle
Saunders do on TV.”

“Cool,” he exclaimed, picking up
the plastic bat and swinging it, managing to smack Pops on the back of the
head.

“Careful, please,” I called. “Why
don’t you ask Daddy and Grandpa to get it set up out in the yard. You can play
while Grandma and I get your birthday lunch ready, ok? And Daddy already did an
awesome job dressing you for the occasion this morning,” I added.

Nate grinned at me as I gave him
a loving smile. Chase was in a personalized San Francisco Giants’ baseball top,
complete with a backward baseball cap and some custom pants made to match, a
gift from Saunders, who was one of their pinch hitters now. Nate didn’t really
see the other guys that much, as they were playing for teams on the east coast.
He and Saunders had stayed tight though, and he was flying down to stay with us
in a few weeks. We had tickets for their first game of the season as well,
which we were going to tie in with a short vacation there, as well as a visit to
see Liam.

“Can Weid come and play too?”
Chase asked, his big brown eyes pleading with me.

“Oh, sweetie, Reid’s having her
nap before lunch. Why don’t you start without her, and she can play with you
later, ok?”

“Ok,” he sighed, letting out a
huge disappointed huff.

Nate and I exchanged glances,
warm smiles on both of our faces. We hadn’t been sure how Chase would react
when we brought his new sister home. We’d tried to prepare him of course, and
he’d been very excited at the thought of it, but I’d heard horror stories of
how reality was far from perfect. We needn’t have worried, he’d loved her from
the moment he set eyes on her. And she’d adored trying to catch him for the
first three months as she crawled after him, giggling. She’d been walking now
for two months, and she was everything that we’d hoped she would be. The first
few weeks had been hard and heartbreaking, with her constantly tearful and
restless, which was only to be expected when she suddenly had a new permanent family,
as well as a new home. But I think Chase had been just what she needed, and
pretty soon she’d become the bright, happy little girl we’d all fallen in love
with. The first time she’d called me “Momma” had made me cry. Having children
had ruined my hard-as-nails reputation.

“I really think you need to get a
speech therapist in, sweetheart,” Mom gently suggested, when the guys had
headed downstairs to go out into the yard to set up his machine.

“He just turned four, Mom. It’s
only his r’s that he has trouble with, and it’s not all of the time now. I’m
not going to panic yet, or make him feel like he needs special treatment.”

“I just can’t bear the thought of
him being picked on at school, children can be so mean without realizing it.”

“He won’t be starting school for almost
two years, Mom. We have plenty of time before we have to worry,” I reminded
her, leaning over to kiss her cheek. “Why don’t you go and sit out on the deck
and relax. You work too hard as it is. I’ll get you a glass of wine and you can
watch them playing down there while I get lunch ready,” I suggested. “What?” I
asked, when I saw her giving me a smile, her eyes twinkling with emotion.

“You. I’m so proud of you, Sky,
your dad is too. You’ve turned into a remarkable woman, wife, and mother, and
the best daughter I could ever have hoped for. And Nate, we’re so proud of him
too. After everything you both went through, you’re simply remarkable.”

“Well, we were lucky to have you
and Pops as great role models, Mom. You both helped us through some of the
darkest times of our lives, when we didn’t have each other to lean on. We’re
going to visit Josh tomorrow, all four of us, if you and Pops want to come.”

“Of course we do. I still miss
that boy so much,” she sighed.

“Me too, Mom, me too,” I said
sadly as I kissed her again. I shook it off and headed over to the kitchen to
start making the homemade burger and fries that Chase had asked for as his
birthday lunch, but stopped in my tracks when a startled high-pitched cry came
over the baby monitor.

“Go, go,” Mom called, getting up
from the sofa. “I’ll make lunch, your daughter needs you now.”

“My daughter,” I grinned, never
tiring of hearing myself be called a mom or a wife. “I hope I’ll be as good a mom
to her as you were to me.”